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I tossed and turned all night.
I couldn't get him out of my head. This was real, and ridiculous, and ridiculously real. He was under my skin like, like I didn't even know.
He made my heart ache – and he hadn't even left me or given me reason to ache- and my stomach quiver.
I kept thinking about him and thinking about him, keeping the shirt I'd worn to go out on because it somehow smelled like him, like whatever soap or cologne or shampoo he used.
So intimate, so fast. Not fast enough, but so fast nonetheless. He'd had his hands on me, his fingers inside of me. I shuddered with remembrance, of how fast he'd made me come, how slippery he'd made me then and even now.
My bedroom was dark and cool but I burned like nobody's business.
In the morning I chose a wrap dress. Business appropriate, but sexy. It was one of my favorites.
So Edward liked me in skirts, did he?
"How was your date?" Mom asked knowingly, tilting her head as she watched me toast bread.
"Amazing. He's amazing."
"He's cute, Bella. The cutest I've ever seen you with."
"I know," I agreed, struggling to focus on the task at hand. Bread, butter, blackberry jam.
Oh, and a knife.
My mother slid a plate over to me. "Watch the crumbs, I just swept."
"Sorry." Distracted didn't even begin to describe.
"Are you seeing him again?"
I was so smitten I didn't even mind the questions. "Yes. Tonight. I think we're going to try and catch a movie."
"Downtown?"
At his house, but that was none of her business, bless her heart.
I nodded, lying non-verbally.
"Sounds fun. Well, have a great day honey. I love you." She held my hair out of my face so she could kiss my cheek.
"Love you too, Mom."
She left and then it was just me and my toast.
And my Edward fantasies.
All day at work I imagined he'd come visit me. I wanted him to, so badly. I couldn't remember being this obsessed with a guy, ever. And it wasn't just how good he looked.
It was how good he everything.
The way he talked, and the things he talked about. And how easy it was to talk to him; we flowed right.
The way he walked, how his pants hung off his hips…I wondered what he looked like with nothing on. How his car was immaculate except for the sand on the floor, making me wonder if he spent a lot of time at the beach. How he laughed a lot and easily, but it never felt phony or forced.
How he kissed me beneath the moon, how all of our kisses so far had been underneath the moon with the exception of the few in Seth's backseat.
Oh, how I'd love to do him in a backseat.
"Bella, line two."
I snapped to attention, my heart beating quickly.
"Hello, this is Bella."
"Hey girlie, it's me."
I sighed inwardly, not wanting Alice to know how un-excited I was to hear her voice.
"Hey, Allie. What's up?"
"Well, I wanted to know what you were doing later. I haven't seen you in like… two days!"
"I know, I miss you too. I have a date tonight though."
"With who?" She was squealing now.
"With that guy from the band I told you about…remember? Cullen?"
"You're kidding me! I'm so glad. I was kinda worried for a second there – you wouldn't shut up about it."
"Gee, thanks," I said dryly. She was right though. Between seeing Edward for the first time at the loft and then seeing him again the first night we'd kissed, I'd just about killed poor Alice and Rose with my gushing.
"Just tellin' it like it is, homeslice."
"I know. Anyway, maybe we can chill on Saturday? Go to the beach since we got rained out last weekend?" I suggested.
"Definitely. Let's do it," she said. "You can bring your boy."
I blushed. "Maybe. I don't know."
"Mhm. Whatever. Love you, call me…"
She hung up before I could respond and I smiled to myself, loving Alice's particular brand of spazz. There was nothing like boys and relationships to light Alice's fire, even if they were someone else's.
Lunchtime rolled around and I offered to grab sandwiches again.
Practically vibrating with hope, I stepped out into the sunlight, blinking as my eyes adjusted.
The deli was packed as usual, so I took my place in line, checking my texts to kill the time.
I was a little disappointed on my way back to the office. It was silly to think that Edward would just materialize because I wanted him to, but shoot – a girl could hope, right?
The cool gust of air conditioner was a welcome respite from the heat, though, and I made my way back to the office as quickly as I could, knowing everyone else was ravenous.
Edward was sitting at my desk.
Angela and Emmy were perched nearby, chit-chatting with him and practically undressing him with their eyes.
Normally they were incredibly sweet, smart women. Leave it to Edward to turn them into puddles of simpering desperation.
I felt their pain.
His eyes lit up when he saw me and all I could think of was his mouth and my mouth and how quickly we could make that happen again.
"Hey you. What are you doing here?"
He smirked, rising. "What do you think I'm doing here?"
Angela jumped up, embarrassed. "Uh, hey Bella. We just …you were getting lunch… hey is that mine?" She snatched the bag away and disappeared, Emmy right behind her.
"Charmer," I muttered, giving Edward a dirty look.
"Whatever," he said, standing close enough to touch but not to kiss. "When do you get off?"
I grinned, wondering if he knew how dirty his question could be taken.
He came closer, running the tip of his finger down my décolletage. "Not how do you get off…" He leaned closer, lowering his voice. "I already know that."
I shut my eyes, feeling the muscles deep inside of me clench really tight.
I could almost feel him there already.
"When. When do you get off of work?"
"Five," I breathed, like the sex-starved strumpet I was.
He backed up so we could converse a little more appropriately. "How are you getting home?"
"I drove."
"I'll meet you at your house. I have to see you tonight."
I nodded, slightly speechless.
I sat on my porch, blowing bubbles.
Edward was taking a little longer than I'd anticipated, but it was okay.
Everything was okay.
I loved this feeling; the crush, the infatuation, the kisses and the wanting and the hoping.
I'd rather be alone than settle for anything that wasn't this.
We didn't have plans for tonight beyond movies at his place, so I'd kept it casual: jean cut offs, a tank top, a cardigan.
Even though it was tempting to just wear skirts and little dresses around him all the time.
After a while he pulled into my driveway, the late afternoon sun reflecting off of his windshield.
"I thought you'd forgotten me," I said, swinging my legs over the side of the railing.
Edward walked closer, smiling faintly, waving away the bubbles I was blowing toward him.
He helped me down. "I don't think so."
I wanted to say something cute or witty, but suddenly I was nervous again. I stood on tiptoe and kissed his cheek before I could lose my nerve.
"You still want to get a movie?" he asked, watching me cap my bottle of bubbles.
"Sure, whatever. Is that what you want to do?"
"I just want to be with you, Bella."
And just like that, I knew I was his, for as long as he'd have me. I mean, I knew that.
But I knew it all over again.
