Chapter Six:
Kick Me When I'm Down


Caroline was late to dinner, and, it would seem, so was Billy. He called and told Jake he had thought he said 6:30 and he had stopped by Old Quil's place to finish up some tribal business. He insisted it wouldn't be long - but Old Quil was a bit of a talker so to make themselves comfortable.

But as Caroline sat on the couch in the Black house she was anything but comfortable. She pushed herself up against one end, while Jake and his massive body took up half of the couch and then some. She was careful not to touch him as they watched the basketball game in silence. A few times Jake seemed like he was going to speak but then thought better of it and shut his mouth.

Good, she thought. If they kept this up, she wouldn't have to say anything to him before Billy arrived. She took this time to look around. The house was cluttered but not dirty. Jackets seemed to be laid over the furniture more often then hung up on the coat rack. Shoes were flung around near the door but otherwise didn't make it far into the house. There were pictures of Rachel and Rebecca, but even more of Jacob throughout the years. From what she could see from her seat, it looked like he had had one hell of a growth spurt.

It was small, but cozy.

They had just reached halftime when the quiet was disturbed.

Jacob stood up and headed towards the kitchen. "Want any water?" He asked.

She looked up at him, finally getting a good look at him since she had arrived. He looked as bad as she felt. His hair was disheveled and he had bags under his eyes. The frown etched into his face wasn't annoyed like hers was. It was sad. He raised an eyebrow to her and she realized she hadn't responded, "oh, uh, yes - please." He nodded and turned to the sink. He was shirtless, which seemed to be a regular thing with the men of La Push, or at least the ones Jacob hung out with.

Her face flushed and she looked away when he turned back around and caught her staring. She didn't look at him when she grabbed the glass from him but she didn't miss that his face seemed to brighten a bit and how her stomach flipped when their fingers brushed.

Around 7:00 the phone rang. Jake got up to answer it but Caroline could already guess who it was. Billy apologized profusely, saying he and Old Quil had simply lost track of time. He told Jacob to make them some food and that he would reschedule with Caroline soon so she could hear her story.

The story she said her father told her when she was young. She thumbed the amulet in her pocket and sighed. She wondered if maybe Jacob knew anything about it. She followed Jake into the kitchen and sat on one of the stools at the counter. "So what'll it be, Chef?" She asked.

He gave her a small smile and she felt herself smile back against her will. His good nature was contagious. "I make a mean turkey sandwich," he said.

"Why do I get the feeling the turkey sandwiches are the only thing you can make?" She teased. It came out naturally before she even realized she had said it. The initial sense of fear lingered and her pride was still recovering, but the girl was hungry. A hangry Caroline was not someone Jacob wanted to meet.

He just scoffed at her and grabbed a nearly eaten loaf of bread. Two regular pieces and two end pieces were all that was inside. Caroline curled her lip, she knew it was childish and that bread was ultimately bread, but she couldn't help that the end pieces were the worst pieces in the loaf. Everyone knew that.

Jacob chuckled at her expression. He prepared two sandwiches as she watched in silence, one sandwich with both end pieces, and the other without. He put mayo on all four slices - an interesting technique, and lettuce, cucumber and turkey on one side. When he finished he handed her the one without end pieces. Caroline wanted to argue that she could eat an end piece if she wanted to, but she could tell they both knew that wasn't true, and she took the sandwich with a short thank you.

The turkey sandwich wasn't anything special - tasted like a homemade turkey sandwich would - but she wasn't about to complain, especially since she got the better deal.

They ate in a surprisingly comfortable silence. Neither of them seemed willing to break it, and Caroline was grateful. Once they had both finished their sandwiches she stood up and grabbed her jacket and Bella's car keys. "Well, thank you for the sandwich, but I should probably head out. I have things to do," she added awkwardly. She was starting to sound like her fake-almost-kind-of cousin, she mused.

"What was the story you wanted to hear?" Jacob asked, "I might know it."

She reached her hand into her pocket and wrapped her fingers around the wood pendant, a gesture that didn't go unnoticed by Jacob. He arched an eyebrow and she caved under the pressure. "I have this pendant - a wood carving," she pulled it out of her pocket and held it up for him to see. "My - uh - dad gave it to me and there was a story that went with it but I've forgotten it." She got through most of the lie with relative ease.

He reached out to grab it and froze. His jaw clenched and his face darkened. He snatched it away from her and turned it over in his large hands. "Hey!"

"Where did you get this?" He snapped.

"What?" She flinched when his heated glare found her. "My-my dad. It was my dad's."

"Don't lie to me, Caroline," he threatened darkly. "Where," he repeated, speaking slowly as if she was an idiot, "did you get this?"

Her temper flared, as well as the residual fear from their first meeting. "It was my dad's and now it's mine." She reached to grab it back from him. "I have to go, give it back."

He pulled it easily out of her reach. "Then go."

"Jacob Black, give me back my pendant." She placed her hands on her hips and stomped her foot.

"You shouldn't have this - it's dangerous."

"It's just a stupid piece of wood!"

"It's a burden," Jacob held it away from her and he looked almost pained.

"Then it's my burden to bare, now give it to me." She held out her hand expectantly. "I have to protect it." His eyes widened and she knew she had said too much.

"Who are you protecting it from?" He was suddenly toe to toe with her, towering over her and she suddenly felt in danger. He was shaking slightly.

"Right now, I'm protecting it from you!" She said sternly, unable to keep the rising fear out of her voice, grabbing it from his hand and snapping the string.

"Wait, Caroline!" Jacob called after her and she started running towards the door. "Fuck," she heard him swear and suddenly he was in front of her.

"How did you -"

"Caroline, that symbol, it's dangerous. You can't just go around showing it to people." He put his hands on her shoulders and she flinched away. The pain in his face when she did so was a stark contrast to his earlier rage. "I need to know where you got it, was it from that leech?"

"Leech?" Her eyes searched his. "You mean Ranger Daniels?" Fuck, she didn't mean to say his name.

"Is that who you saw that night?" His eyes flashed again, and although something told her it wasn't directed at her, she couldn't help but cower away.

"I want to go home," she whispered. The pendant dug against her palm as her knuckles turned white. She stared at the ground. "It's just a wood carving my dad gave to me." She added softly. Not willing to give up her lie.

He couldn't possibly know what she was meddling with and she wasn't willing to drag him into it. Neither of them moved. Caroline looked back up at him, his eyes were clenched shut and his expression was pained. His breathing was slow and deliberate.

After what felt like hours, she stepped around him and walked to Bella's car.

"Caroline," he said, almost too low for her to hear. She stopped at the driver's side door but didn't turn to face him. Her first thought was to never turn your back on an enemy, but he wasn't any enemy. He didn't say anything else and Caroline finally opened the door and started the car with shaking hands. She cried silently the entire drive home.

When she finally crawled into bed that night she took the amulet out and put it inside her bedside table drawer. That night she had the first nightmare she had had in a long time. Ripping skin, bloodied hands, and shrill screams.


Wednesday came and went and Caroline who never flakes skipped out on visiting at Emily's and went straight home after work.

The following morning Caroline slept through most of her alarms. She only managed to roll herself out of bed when Charlie called her down from her room. "I don't know what you did to the poor kid, but he's going to raise my phone bill."

"Who?" Caroline's heart stopped. Did Ranger Daniels call again? Was he okay? The phone started ringing again before he could answer her.

"You have to answer it now, I'm not talking to him again."

Caroline grabbed the landline from the kitchen and sat on the counter. She took a deep breath to try to steady herself before reaching it up to her ear. "Hello?"

"Caroline?" His voice was filled with hurt and her heart clenched.

She forgot how to speak, the emotion in his voice catching her off guard. The changes in his attitude towards her were beginning to give her whiplash and she found herself defaulting to the easiest emotion she knew to express. Anger. She hung up the phone. She had meant to say something, to tell him off in a clever and menacing way, but she didn't feel like she would receive any satisfaction from it. She got no enjoyment from kicking a dog when he was down.

The phone rang again and her anger flared, her earlier vow to not hurt someone who was hurt forgotten. Her own emotions were starting to give her whiplash as well. She let it ring one more time to collect her thoughts and think of the most savage thing she could say over the phone before she picked it up. "I'm sorry," her voice was laced with sarcasm, "can you not take a hint or do I need to spell it out for you, Jacob Black?" She said in a dark tone that she hoped rivalled the way he spoke to her when they first met.

"Caroline?" Bella's confused voice rang through the speaker. "Is my dad home?"

"Oh, uhm, yes," shit, "one second," she hopped off of the counter. "Charlie! It's Bella!" She put the phone back to her ear, "I'm sorry, I didn't think you'd be calling."

"But you thought Jake would be?"

Charlie, God bless that man, grabbed the phone from Caroline before she had to respond. The previous relationship shitshow that was Bella and Jacob's whatever they were, was a can of worms that she was happy to sealed shut.

Caroline popped some bread into the toaster and cooked up some scrambled eggs for her and Charlie. She ate her breakfast alone while Charlie talked to his daughter on the phone. It must have been serious because he took the phone into the living room and just out of earshot. She put his breakfast in the fridge - microwaved eggs were better than rancid eggs - and ran upstairs and changed into a pair of leggings and a tank top. She headed downstairs and called to Charles but he was already waiting for her at the front door, irritated at the late start to their morning routine.

"Bye, Charlie," she called and shut the door before the older man could ask if she wanted to talk to Bella. She grabbed her tangled headphones out of her pocket and walked straight into a brick wall. She stumbled backwards and almost fell onto her backside when a warm arm wrapped itself around her waist and pulled her upright.

Not a brick wall, she realized. But someone nearly as dumb as one.

"What part of 'I better not catch you on my front porch again' did you not understand?" She stepped out of Jacob's reach and put Charles' leash on. The mutt barked excitedly and put his front paws on the Quileute man who immediately began scratching him just where the dog liked it most.

"I believe you said I couldn't be on your porch in the middle of the night," he smiled. She was pleased to note he didn't look much better than he did the last time she saw him. Good. "It's day time," he gestured around them as if to indicate that it was light outside now. Just in case she didn't have eyes.

"No shit, Sherlock." Caroline rolled her eyes. She fumbled with her headphones and Charles' leash irratebly. "Well, as you can see, I am heading out. I will hopefully not be seeing you around." She gave him a winning smile that was known to melt hearts when she was younger.

"Caroline," Jacob sighed, moving in front of her. "I would like to reintroduce myself."

She pulled on Charles' leash and lead him around Jake and down the driveway.

"Caroline," he jogged to walk alongside her. The heat radiating off of him was sort of comforting in the brisk spring air. Thinking about how he was probably warm and comfortable while she was cold was beginning to piss her off. How could he be so warm while shirtless?

"That's my name. Yours is Jacob, we've been introduced." Caroline frowned, "hmm, now that I think about it, this is our fifth time meeting. The first time, you covered me in dirt and ruined my white dress," she bristled when he chuckled next to her, "the second time you looked at me with the most disgust I have ever seen on someone's face, the fourth time you showed up on my porch in the middle of the night, the fourth time was at your house and was almost pleasant before you lost your head with me." She noticed the flash of guilt on his face but kept going. Caroline was on a warpath and she wasn't taking any survivors. "And now, this fifth time, you are imposing yourself in my space and ruining an otherwise pleasant morning." She pulled angrily at her headphones. "How did you even get here so fast?" She turned to him, irritated with herself for finding him even remotely attractive. Despite his tired expression, he still looked undeniably good. The assholes were always hot, weren't they?

Instead of answering, Jacob took the headphones from her hands and untangled them with ease before offering them back to her. "Does that give me points for a positive fifth impression?" He asked with a bright smile that somehow managed to make her stomach flip.

She grabbed them harshly from his hand instead. "That actually just pissed me off more." The feminist in her was reeling.

Jacob groaned and for the first time she felt like they were on the same page - equally annoyed with each other.

He walked alongside her as she put the headphones in and connected them to her iPod. "Are you going to follow me?" She asked.

"I'd feel more comfortable if you weren't alone."

Caroline rolled her eyes but couldn't find it in herself to actually be mad at him. She didn't dignify him with a response and just put her earphones in and started jogging. When they hit the two mile mark and Jake's breathing was still even and he hadn't broken a sweat Caroline paused her music. "Don't take this as a compliment, because it isn't," she could see him look at her from her peripheral but she kept her eyes straight ahead. "But I'm not interested in jogging with someone like you."

"Someone like me?" He asked in a teasing tone.

"Oh, don't fucking play dumb with me," she turned to glare at him and sure enough he had a stupid lopsided grin on his lips that gave her a sensation in her stomach one could only describe as butterflies. Disgusting. "You're jacked. You could run circles around me. You could run circles around me while doing bicep curls." She gave him a pointed look as he beamed at her in his irritatingly handsome way. "That wasn't a compliment."

"Then I won't say thank you."

"Good." She planted her eyes straight ahead. "Because I know you're on steroids."

Jacob just chuckled and she was offended that he didn't get offended. Insulting him wasn't as fun if he was going to just let it happen.

She allowed him to follow her for a few more streets before she finally stopped dead. "I'm just confused." She admitted. "Your flip flopping between disgust, to rage, to concern if started to really fuck with me. What do you want from me?" Her voice sounded more tired and less strong as she hoped it would and the sad look on his face didn't make her feel any better.

There was an expression on his sharp features that she couldn't quite read. "I want to be close to you."

Caroline stared at his face before letting out a sharp laugh. "Well, you're doing a shit job at making me want to be close to you." She started jogging again, Charles' pulling on her leash and making her stop. Her dog standing next to Jake and rubbing against him. Her own dog turned on her.

"Let me try again," he offered. He reached out his hand and held it out for her. "My name is Jacob Ephraim Black. You can call me Jake. I'm actually a pretty decent guy, all things considered. I have two sisters who both moved away right after graduation and haven't been back since and a dad who seems to just adore you." She laughed at that. "I have a lot of good friends who are shitting on me for how I have treated you and I want you to want to be close to me, too."

Caroline arched an eyebrow at him but couldn't suppress the smile on her lips. "My name is Caroline Otylia Talltree-Young." She reached out her hand and took his overheated one. "All of your friends can call me Care, but you can't. I think if you have to tell someone you're a nice guy, sorry, decent guy," she amended when he started to correct her. "You're probably not a decent guy. I have a half-sister - I'm not sure if you two have met," he chuckled, "- and a father who adored yours. I haven't talked to any of my old friends but I sure do like yours." Her smile spread to a grin and she couldn't help but feel safe under his soft gaze. A much warmer feeling than the fear she had felt before. "And I would rather not keep flaking on your friends and my sister because I want to avoid seeing you. So, for now, Jacob Ephraim Black, you are on probation but I will allow you to be within reasonable distance of me."

"That's more than I could have asked for." His smile melted down some of her walls and she found that it didn't upset her as much as it had before.

"Well," she let go of his hand, clenching her fist against the cold. "I think it is time that I head home to shower. I'm only a street down, which I am sure you are aware as you have shown up there - uninvited - a few times," she said in a tone that came out more teasing than scalding. "I will probably be seeing you soon?" She didn't mean for it to sound like a question, an invitation to set up plans.

"As soon as my probation conditions allow."

She flashed him a bright smile. "I will get in contact with your probation officer as soon as I am available. See you later, alligator." She waved.

"In a while, Caroline," he answered as she turned and finished her jog home.

It wasn't until she got inside that she remembered he never told her how he got there so quickly. This nicer Jacob was good to have around but she didn't forget his reaction to her pendant. She needed to get the story out of him surrounding it, but she would need to do so carefully and if was going to keep up his nice guy persona, it might be easier than she thought.

Caroline ignored the nagging feeling in the back of her mind that abusing his extension for friendship to get information to solve her father's murder might ending up hurting the both of them.

Her shift with Sam that day was comfortably quiet. She was in a much better mood and halfway through the day Sam told her she could move to night shifts with Paul the following weekend if she wanted. She accepted immediately, now that her days were cleared she would have an entire day to travel to where her father had gone hiking and investigate. The photographs she received had detailed maps showing where they took place. While she was there she might try to see other crime scenes.

She paused at the thought. Crime scenes. Were they? If they were animal attacks, it's not as though the animal had committed a malicious murder with bad intent. It was just being an animal.

But then why would someone be trying to cover it up?

The bell over the door sounded and drew her attention. "Caroline!" Embry and Quil called causing her to smile.

"Are you old enough to be here?" She winked at them.

Quil plopped down in the barstool in front of her. "Older than you."

"They're hiring right out of the cradle now?" Embry teased, taking a seat next to Quil.

Caroline laughed, "I'll have you know that I am one year into adulthood." She grinned at them. "But I've got you beat for maturity in spades."

"The competition isn't exactly stiff," Sam deadpanned with a grin, cracking open two bottles for the boys and handing them off and ignoring their protests about their maturity levels.

Caroline stole Embry's beer from his hand and took a swig while Sam turned his back. "So what brings you to my neck of the woods?"

"You're in our town now, babe," Embry winked, taking back his beer from a laughing Caroline.

"We just missed ya, is all." Quil smiled. "You flaked on us recently, we're coming to collect on our Caroline Time."

"Oh, have you?" Caroline put a pizza in the oven for them, on the house. "And what makes you think you are entitled to Caroline Time," she said putting air quotes around the last part.

Embry pouted. "You're telling me Jake gets time with you and we don't?"

"Jacob stole his time from me this morning, it wasn't given," she reminded them pointedly, only mildly irritated that they knew about his visit to his house. "Besides, he's on probation. He only gets a limited amount."

"Does that mean we get an unlimited amount?" Quil asked.

Caroline put her elbow on the bar and her hand in her chin and bat her eyelashes at the two of them. She leaned forward just a bit to pull her cleavage together. Once she gained back most of her healthy weight, she'd have more to work with, but this would do for now. "Maybe if you play your cards right." She let out a hearty laugh at their wide-eyed faces. Boys were so easy to mess with.

She flirted lightly with them over her last hour of work and teased them about their ability to devour the pizza she gave them in minutes.

"Keep eating like that and you're gonna get fat!" She chastised and the boys just laughed and reassured her that no amount of pizza could possibly ruin their physique.

They walked her out when she shift ended and tried to convince her to go over to Emily's.

"Colin and Brady miss you!" Embry said. "They think about you all the time, it's kind of annoying actually."

"I'm not going to ask how you know what they are thinking about, but I have a lot of work to do."

"What work could you possibly be doing?" Quil asked. "You just got off work!"

She had said too much, she realized. She couldn't very well tell them that she was trying to plan out a trip to different crime scenes in and around La Push and Forks. "I'm rearranging my room." She said quickly. A little too quickly, but it wasn't a total lie. She was planning on moving some furniture around. "I am trying to put up pictures today, just a lot of busy work."

"You were going to put up pictures, but not include us?" Embry gaped at her. "What other pictures could you possibly have that are more important than any pictures of the two of us?"

"Pictures of my dad." She flinched when she said it. It was a cruel card to play but she wasn't lying. She had found more pictures in one of the boxes and wanted to go to Port Angeles and get picture frames for them.

"Well once you finish with those," Quil said with a small smile, "we'll have to take a picture together so you can put us up on your wall."

Caroline nodded, "deal." She got into the car door when an idea struck her. She rolled down the window. "Hey, wait! Either care to point me in the direction of Shawn's house?"


Let me know what you think! The good, the bad and the ugly. Or something nice idk you do you

Nat