"If you ask me," Alya said calmly in face of the meltdown that was Marinette and Adrien, "this is simply a case of I Saw Mummy Kiss Chat Noir."

Marinette isn't entirely sure how she and Adrien got out of that parents/teacher conference. She thinks she might have agreed to send Emma to counsellor in an attempt to get her to open up on what's really bothering her but at that point she was so busy trying to not outwardly freak out that she would have agreed to anything to get out of that room. How she managed to maintain a sense of calm as she meet up with the twins and drove them over to Alya's, she doesn't know. Because the moment the children went to play with Alya and Nino's kids and the Kwamis disappeared for their own private meetings, she immediately melted down, babbled like crazy, and was currently trying to take a deep breathes on Alya's sofa.

Adrien wasn't much better off than her but he was currently taking over the comforter role as he rubbed soothing circles on the small of her back.

"Don't be ridiculous!" Marinette snapped. "Our lives are never that simple."

Adrien nodded in agreement as he paused in his rubbing and pulled Marinette closer instead. She snuggled as close as she could under his arm without actually burying her face into his chest.

Alya raised an eyebrow at that. "Nino," she said loudly, "all the things Adrien and Marinette said could never be that simple."

"Well babe," Nino said as he held up a finger, "there's been Ladybug and Marinette can't be one person, my life is never that simple or lucky."

"And I've always had Chat Noir and Adrien can't be one person," Alya said mockingly," my life is never that simple."

"I can't just ask Marinette to be my girlfriend," Nino added, "it's never that simple."

"Hey!" Adrien protested. "You said something like that yourself too!"

"I can't just talk to Adrien about sex," Alya carried on as if Adrien had never spoken. Marinette squeaked in embarrassment as she remembered that excruciating time in her life when she wanted to go further in their relationship but couldn't find the right way to have that discussion. Her cheeks heat up in humiliation just thinking of the conversations she had with Alya let alone her fumbling, extremely awkward, conversation that she finally had with Adrien. "It's never that simple."

"I can't just ask Marinette to marry me," Nino rolled his eyes, "it's not that simple."

"I can't just tell Adrien I'm pregnant," Alya also rolled her eyes at this, "it's not that simple."

"I can't just go-"

"All right, all right!" Marinette snapped before this list became endless and both she and Adrien died of embarrassment on Alya's sofa leaving the twins and Dottie orphans with only her parents, Alya and Nino, and Chloe to take care of them (while she knows her parents and Alya and Nino would do a good job, she's rather worried Chloe would take the kids to a bar or something and then forget they were there). "We get the picture. Sometimes it really is that simple," she conceded, "but I hardly think in this case it is that simple."

"Oh yeah," Alya snorted, "because what's really going on is obviously the children resent and hate Adrien for never being home, which is utter bullshit by the way," she added with a pointed look at Adrien but Adrien gazed back with a stare that suggested he still didn't agree with that sentiment. "And is taking it out on Chat Noir, or," Alya's gaze turned sceptical as she raised her eyebrow even higher at Marinette, "that an unknown, great, evil is currently possessing Emma."

Well when it was worded like that, of course it sounded stupid!

But when you're one of Paris' superheroes and have dealt with a corrupt Miraculous user, several other corrupt magic users, and freaking demons, the possibility of your child being possessed is a terrifyingly real one. Since Marinette had first found out she was pregnant she had been petrified at the idea that her children would be used against Ladybug, and now, with her daughter's odd behaviour and sudden disdain for Chat Noir, Marinette couldn't help feel her fears were being realised.

Hence the near meltdown on Alya's sofa.

"It's not a silly idea," Marinette scowled defensively, "considering virtually everyone in this room has been possessed at least once."

"And we ran round in the most garish, camp, costumes ever or were blatantly brain-dead at the time." Alya counteracted with another eye roll. "Your child is just being a kid, they're rather violent and cruel sometimes do you remember going to school?" Alya stressed and Marinette knew what she really meant was do you remember what Chloe used to be like?! "I can assure you that's she not being possessed by the devil or something."

Nino laughed at that. "Someone has totally been watching too many horror films recently," he grinned at Marinette.

"It's a logical conclusion!" Marinette flushed.

(Because she had been watching a lot of horror films recently. They've been great excuses for snuggling….not that she and Adrien needed much excuse to snuggle in the first place.)

"It's a melodramatic conclusion," Alya corrected, "brought forth by you panicking and not actually thinking. Like many of your other melodramatic conclusions."

"I do not-"

"Nino," Alya interrupted Marinette, "list all the times that Marinette and Adrien were melodramatic."

Both Adrien and Marinette spluttered indignantly at that.

They were not melodramatic!

"Marinette keeps acting all weird and stutter around me," Nino recited mockingly, "She obviously still hates me for the chewing gum incident."

Marinette felt Adrien stiffen at that and pulled the hand resting on her shoulder closer so she could press a reassuring kiss on his knuckle. She could never hate him. Even when she thought he had putting chewing gum on her chair she hadn't hated him, she was just cross.

"Oh gee, Alya," Alya said in a breathless voice, "I can't just tell Adrien how I feel about him because he would reject me and then be so disgusted he'll get a restraining order on me, and I will never be able to live my life because I will hold the label of a sex offender, and I will end up dying alone in my room with a hundred cats."

Marinette sunk as low on the sofa she could as she felt her cheeks heat up again. Okay, maybe, just maybe, occasionally, she was a little melodramatic. "That was one time-"

"I'm never going to get Marinette to like me," Nino interrupted enthusiastically. He and Alya were apparently now on a roll…oh joy! "I obviously scare her."

"Alya, I can't just tell Chat Noir who I am," Alya carried on in her annoyingly breathless voice which was apparently supposed to be Marinette. "He's going to be so disappointed in how plain and clumsy and ordinary I am and want another partner."

"Marinette is never going to return my feelings," Nino said with mock-sorrowfulness. "I think I'm going to die of heartbreak, Nino."

"Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!" Alya cried out dramatically. "I'm going to mess up this date and Adrien is going to realise he made a mistake and never want to see me again. He'll give up his Miraculous, change schools, and probably leave the country in order to avoid being seen with me again."

Adrien looked down at Marinette at this with a raised eyebrow that virtually screamed 'really Princess?' and Marinette blushed so deeply that she was pretty sure she now matched her Ladybug suit as she looked at anywhere but her husband.

"Marinette is going to say no and I will never be able to eat again."

"I think Adrien is going to break up with me," Adrien's 'really Princess?' gaze turned extra snarky and Marinette glowered back at him. "He keeps acting shiftily and looks like he wants to say something and then he looks so disappointed and upset when he doesn't say it."

"Marinette is going to leave me at the altar!" Nino declared passionately and now it was Marinette's turn to raise an eyebrow at an abashed Adrien. "She's going to realise what a mess I am and want nothing to do with it and run out like Runaway Bride while I'll be standing there clutching her abandoned shoe."

Marinette bit back a groan. Two clichés in one sentence? Only her adorable dork of a husband could accomplish that.

"Adrien is going to leave me at the altar!" Alya burst out. "He'll get cold feet when he realises what a mess I am and climb out of the bathroom window with Nino's help."

Adrien smirked at that and Marinette refused to admit (out loud in her smug husband's hearing) that she thought in clichés as well.

"Marinette is five minutes late, do you think she climbed out of the window?"

"Oh my God Alya, I can't be pregnant, I just can't be," Alya mimicked the panic Marinette had felt eight years ago perfectly. "I'll be a terrible mother, I will accidentally drop the baby on its head, I will trip over and accidentally throw the baby out of the window, and oh my God I'm going to accidentally kill my baby!"

If Adrien's 'really Princess?' look got any deeper she may just smack him, injured leg or no injured leg. It was a legitimate worry and he was really in place to judge as he panicked just as much when he found out she was pregnant.

And look at them now they had blatantly done something wrong for this crisis to happen. They were both right and she was really not appreciating Nino and Alya's teasing whatsoever.

"Nino, Marinette's been really sick in the mornings and she hasn't been herself recently," Nino recited, "I think she's dying," he added in a dramatic whisper.

This time Marinette turned round with her own 'really Kitty?' look which made Adrien flush and look away. "It was a logical conclusion," he mumbled.

"Seriously guys," Nino grinned, "we could do this all day."

"Master Fu was right," Alya said as she pushed her glasses up her nose, "you two are made for each other. You're both great big Drama Queens."

Whatever lovely, sweet, sentiment Adrien and Marinette felt at being told they were made for each other (which was always nice to hear and induced the warmest, fuzziest, feelings inside of Marinette) fell flat at the proclamation that they were both Drama Queens, and their smiles faded.

Adrien leaned in to whisper loudly into Marinette's ear. "Why are we friends with these people?" he murmured, and Marinette had to try not let the feel of his warm breath against her earlobe affect her.

"Funny," Nino muttered loudly to Alya, "shouldn't we be asking that?"

Marinette wished Chloe was here. Chloe would totally take Adrien and Marinette's side in this and would take their problem seriously and actually offer some helpful ad-

Oh, who the hell was she kidding?

Chloe would be sitting in a corner laughing her arse off while she tried to find a video of Emma kicking Chat Noir on YouTube.

And that was Chloe on her best behaviour.

(Seriously, why was Marinette friends with these people?!)

"The point is the pair of you are over-reacting," Alya said loudly steering the conversation back to the topic at hand. "You're jumping to the silliest conclusions without doing one, simple but crucial, thing."

"Oh," Adrien blinked, "What's that?"

"Talk to your children!"

"We've already tried!" Adrien protested. "I've tried, Marinette tried, and Emma's not opening up to us. She runs out of the room, she turns away, and she says she can't talk about it"

Alya rolled her eyes. "Try again," she said sternly, "because I bet you anything this is just a case of I Saw Mummy Kiss Chat Noir."

"Really," Marinette said dryly, "What makes you so sure?"

"Because you and Adrien can't keep your hands off of one another mask or no mask," Nino spoke up in disgust, "I mean just look at you two, you're snuggling on my sofa, and it's revolting. Quit it."

"Never!" Marinette declared. She then snuggled deeper into Adrien's arms and grinned as she felt his arms tighten around her. She could also feel Adrien smile against her hair which made her smile all the more. Nino made gagging noises that could rival Plagg's and Alya just looked on disapprovingly. "Besides," Marinette carried on, "the children are in bed and fast asleep whenever one of us come back from Night Patrol. They can't have seen us."

"Pfft!" Alya snorted. "Yeah because children are so good and stay in bed all through the night because that's what they're told to do."

"Okay, you made a good point there," Marinette conceded, "but….but…we can't…."

"Can't what?" Alya asked. "Tell them that Mummy and Daddy are two of Paris' finest heroes? Why not?"

"Why not? Why not?!" Marinette cried out. "Alya, have you told your children that you're a superhero."

"Well no," Alya admitted, "but they're both under five. They won't know how to keep a secret yet."

"Oh and you think seven is any better at keeping secrets?"

"Probably not," Alya said tartly, "but I'm also not stupid enough to come home as Volpina and lip-lock with my husband."

Nino nodded sagely in agreement. Marinette would have pointed out that Alya and Nino still lived in a two bedroom flat with nosey neighbours and it would look odd if Volpina was hovering round the balcony or Alya went out but never came back in. It wasn't stupid taking advantage of the privacy that the Agreste estate offered and transform at home. But before Marinette could even open her mouth to say all of this Nino spoke up;

"Though I would be totally cool with that babe if you ever change your mind."

Alya smirked and shot Nino a particularly flirty look. "I'll keep that in mind," she drawled out.

And now it was Alya and Nino that were being revolting, the hypocrites.

"It can't be that!" Marinette burst out.

"I bet you one box of your homemade macarons that it is."

"Fine because it's isn't that," Marinette said confidently. "If that was the case then wouldn't they have said something to me about being a slut by now?"

"Marinette you're their sainted mother" Alya said exasperated. "They're not going to blame you they're going to blame the sleazy flirt in the leather suit."

"Cheers," Adrien said dryly.

"You're welcome," Alya replied cheerfully. "Now seriously though…..talk to your children!"

"Fine!" Marinette caved irritably. "We'll talk to the children."

"Tonight," Alya stipulated.

"Not tonight," Marinette shook her head. "We're having dinner with my parents and by the time we get home it'll be their bedtime." Alya shot Marinette a look that told her there was no way she and Adrien were getting away with not talking to the twins. "We'll talk to them tomorrow or Sunday," Marinette promised.

"All right," Alya relented, "but I expect my box of macarons on Monday morning."

Marinette spluttered. "You know you're not always right," she choked out.

"Oh please," Alya drawled. "My list of how often I've been right rivals my list of your melodrama. For starters, remember when I said Adrien was-"

Sensing that Alya's list would just be a ridiculously long and embarrassing as her previous two lists, Marinette jumped up immediately. "Would you look at the time?" she said loudly as she made a show of checking her watch. "We should go before my parents think something terrible happened."

"All right," Alya's eyes glimmered with amusement. "I'll just write it out for the next time you come over."

Marinette groaned.

They dithered about a bit. It always takes a while to get the twins ready to leave especially when there's toys and games involved but a brief mention of dinner at their grandparents got them moving quickly. Anything for cake. As Adrien said goodbye to Nino and made sure that Hugo's coat was zipped up properly, Alya pulled Marinette in for a hug.

"Speaking of you talking," she murmured in Marinette's ear, "when are you going to tell Adrien?"

Marinette bit back another groan. Alya had been on her case the last couple weeks now for the baby. She thought Marinette's superstition to wait three months was ridiculous seeing as she knew (despite the fact that Alya only knew because she witnessed Marinette puke her guys up and forced her to take a test) and made sure Marinette knew it.

"Not now," Marinette muttered.

"Marinette!" Alya hissed thoroughly exasperated now. "It's been three months!"

"And you really think now is the right time to tell him?" Marinette whispered back. "He thinks the children hate him. How is he going to feel when he finds out there's another one on the way?"

"God, you two" Alya shook her head, "Drama Queens," she stressed, "now go and enjoy your evening, talk to your husband, and then talk to your children."

"Goodbye Alya."

Marinette pulled away and turned to find Emma pressed against the wall as she watched her with big, wide, eyes. For a wild moment, Marinette thought everyone had heard her exchange with Alya but Hugo and Adrien were oblivious as they were waiting by the front door, and Emma didn't say a word as she quickly ducked her head to avoid Marinette's worried gaze.

"Kit – sweetie?" Marinette hastily corrected herself. "Is everything all right."

"Fine," Emma said shortly.

Marinette wanted to press, she really did, but now was certainly not the time. Her parents really were waiting for them and they really did need to get Dottie back. So instead she held her hand out and when Emma, almost reluctantly, accepted it, she pulled her baby close and pressed a kiss on her forehead.

She will talk to the twins tomorrow.

MLBMLBMLBMLBMLBMLB

Emma stared blankly at the car window as she watched the lights of Paris fly past her. It had been a long and exhausting day with Chat Noir visiting the school, being in trouble, and then trying to keep up with the Lahiffe-Cesaire children.

And then she heard Mum and Aunt Alya.

"When are you going to tell Adrien?"

"Not now."

"Marinette! It's been three months!"

Three months.

Mum had been kissing Chat Noir for three months and Aunt Alya knew. That was horrible enough but then there was the fact that Aunt Alya knew and she hadn't stopped it. She weakly tried to get Mum to tell Dad but she didn't press or push, she let the subject dropped. She was Mum's best friend first. There was a lot of whispering afterwards but Emma couldn't hear what was being said, maybe Aunt Alya did push the subject, but it was obvious that Mum won the argument in the end.

Aunt Alya definitely wasn't going to say anything.

She definitely wasn't going to stop Mum either.

As if he sensed her distress, Hugo slid his hand into hers and squeezed it tightly.

She squeezed it back just as hard.

She had said they were on their own before but now…now she really knew it.