Disclaimer: I don't own Krispy Kream or Starbucks. LIKE I WOULD WANT TO! STUPID BIG COOPERATIONS! Oh, and I don't own Trigun.

C-E: This is a special chapter of Clone. WARNING! Those of weak sanity, please stop reading now.

Clone

Chapter Eight:
The Random Chapter That Has Nearly Nothing To Do With The Story!

((((Start))))

The first sun peeked over the silhouette of Little LR. Vash sighed, taking in the morning air. It has been ten years since he and his brother separated and started their once peaceful feud again. He smiled at his wife's sleeping form. The marriage was what broke their agreement. Ah, he should have listened to his brother's ramblings about Meryl. Oh well, what's done is done. And now, the two brothers have organized the best men in their power to fight each other.

Vash got out of bed, trying not to disturb Meryl. He walked to the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. Vash had no intention of using humans to fight in his place. In fact, the town wanted to help Vash defeat his brother. He sighed and took a shower. Every since that day, Vash had lost his childish antics. The proposition of fighting his brother and the birth of his only daughter squelched the youthful flame inside him.

Hey, it couldn't get worse.

((Outside Little LR))

Clone entered the deserted town. The wind whistled and a tumble weed rolled by. She sighed, walked up to the closest house, and pounded on the door. A dark haired teenager answered with groggy eyes. Something about her reminded Clone of Uncle Spiky Head (aka Vash). She shook her head and glared at the child. "Take me to the elder of your community, spider."

The child yawned and looked at her. "The mayor?" she drawled.

Clone waved the words off, "Yes, yes. Whatever."

The girl turned around and walked inside with Clone following. They arrived at a door and the girl knocked. "Dad, someone's here to see you."

"I'm coming Didrean." a voice muttered from behind the barricade. That voice. Where had Clone heard it before? She stood, pondering deeply, completely oblivious of the door opening and Vash yelling.

"YOU! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" Clone looked up to see Vash, wide-eyed. She chuckled.

Oh yeah.

She opened her mouth and blacked out as Vash hit her over the head.

He stood there with wife at his elbow and daughter standing before him, all staring at the passed out Clone. Vash had hit her over the head with his gun which he recovered when Knives left. Meryl sighed, muttering something like -not her again- and walked back to the bed to sleep. Didrean looked at her father.

"Dad?..."

Vash laughed and coughed nervously, "Don't worry honey. It's a really long story. Just go back to your room. I'll take care of all of this." Didrean shook her head and walked back downstairs. Vash growled at Clone's body and hefted her into a guest room to recover.

((Later))

Clone opened her eyes to the wooden roof of an unknown ceiling. She sat up, rubbing her eyes and looking around at her surroundings. A round table with two chairs stood in the far corner of the room next to the bathroom entrance. Her bed burned with the mornings light as it sifted through the window overhead. Her eyes ventured out the window to meet with an awe inspiring garden that took Clone's breath.

Anxious, she ran outside, barefoot, to meet the infinite green and vivid colors only present in earthly dreams. Her knees gave way and she landed softly in the middle of sun bright daffodils. The smell was intoxicating as she laid back and stared at the endless blue sky. Bliss.

A blue butterfly gently flitted to land on the closest daffodil. Clone sat up and watched its contrasting wings fold to reveal its red under color. While Clone watched the butterfly, another just like it landed next to her. Then another, and another. Until the entire field was blue and red mottled with yellow, suffocating bursts. Clone tilted her head and stood up. The butterflies froze, some turned as if looking at her. She flinched as little high pitched voices started cackling. "kekekekekeke. we see through your bones. the bees come down. the bees come down! kekekekekeke."

Clone stepped back and heard crunches as she stepped on the fragile insects; but, when she looked down she saw iridescent beetles squirming over her bare feet. Her face dropped and her shoulder twitched.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" She ran screaming from the garden and into the house. She hit the stove hard, stopping her progress. She leaned over the appliance, trying to catch her breath, noticing the odd smell and hissing sound coming from the stove. Her eyes widened and she jumped back as Milly walked down the stairs cheerful as always.

"Hello, Ms. Clone! Eggs as always?" she asked walking to the stove, completely ignoring the gas leak.

"N-" Clone squeaked too late. Milly turned on the burner and BOOOOOOOM! Clone turns into the first human to go Mach 5. Er, plant. Or whatever. She lands face first in a random town square. Coughing dust and wiping sand from her face, she warily checks her surroundings. To one side she saw a Krispy Kream. To the other she saw a Starbucks. She tensed, noticing she sat right in the middle of the two.

Dong Dong. She turned around to see the clock tower strike noon. "Oh cr-"

Alas, our hero is trampled by the hungry teenagers just out of school for lunch. The Krispy Kream manager, wearing a red suit with matching tail and horns, stood smiling evilly at the lunch crowd of gullible students buying his donuts that contain brain controlling chips. He turned to look at Starbuck's owner, similarly dressed except with black standing outside his shop and glaring back.

Clone's trampled body poofed back to normal and she stood up, only to be caught between two evil manipulators, summoning their hordes of desperate teenagers to fight each other in a war of breakfast sustenance.

"You will not take my recruits from me!" the red one said, as demonic flames sprouted from the ground and skinny, pale high schoolers rose from the fire.

"It's not my fault the younger of society wishes to act mature by drinking coffee," the black one says, as dark haired ravers rose from blackened earth.

Clone hung her head and took two deep breaths. "one... two...thr- screw it. SHUT UP!"

Everyone stopped just noticing the woman standing in the middle of the battle field. She exhaled. "You guys own huge businesses, right?" the two managers nodded. Clone pointed to the red one, "You own a shop that makes fluffy donuts but really bad coffee." She pointed to the black one, "You own one that makes excellent coffee but horrid pastries." She put her hands together, speaking slowly. "Why-don't-you-join-companies?"

She spread her hands, looking back and forth from the two. They stared at her and then at each other. The fire erupted again and Clone screamed. Unfortunately, for some weird and unexplained reason, the C-4 in Starbuck's coffee house was ignited by the fire and Clone became a human Blue Angel again.

She flew into the sky and landed crashed through the clouds... Wait. Crashed? Clone sat up and looked around. She saw a couched covered in leopard print with one leg replaced by a heavy text book and smelled (for sake of a better word) funky. In front of the couch that seemed as if it were picked up from the side of the road, was a cinder block with plywood on top, serving a table. She turned around and saw a full wall plasma tv with her on it staring at the tv. Her mouth dropped and someone walked in.

"Hey, Lauren where'd you-" she stopped seeing Clone. She had shoulder length brown hair and stood six foot nine, staring at Clone. Her face scrunched up in what Clone identified as anger and yelled, "LAUREN! WHAT THE DID YOU DO THIS TIME?"

Another woman, a foot shorter than the first, walked in with untamed short brown hair and yellow tinged glasses wearing some boxers she found somewhere and a t-shirt that had a smiley face with messed hair and uneven eyes with "My ninjas could beat your God" printed beneath it. She stumbled in, rubbing the back of her head. "wha?"

The tall one pointed to a confused Clone. "Who is that?"

The short one walked over to Clone and squinted at her. "Gaw, don't you know anything? That's Clone. The character we're messin' with."

"I know that, what's she doing here?"

Lauren held her head in her hands, thinking hard. "Oh yeah! I had this idea and well, yeah. What's that matter, Ash? You said I had control of the game then."

Ashley smacked her head, "I didn't mean you could destroy the story by bringing the audience here and bring US into the story."

Lauren smiled. "Oh well, she won't stay here long. In fact," Lauren looked at the watch that suddenly appeared on her wrist, "she'll be leavin' in ...NOW!" POOF! Clone appeared in the room she started in. She shrugged and fell asleep.

Back in heaven, Ashley smacks Lauren over the head and tells her to fix the fourth wall and not do that again.

((Back To Reality))

Clone woke up to find the room as before but with Vash sitting at the table. He seemed serious and for a short period the awkward silence was deafening. Vash sighed. "Knives sent you, right?"

"yessssss." Clone said, squinting suspiciously. Vash sighed.

"Clone, a lot has happened. I think we should tell you everything before you start killing everything."

((Two Hours Later))

Vash finished his story and watched Clone's still glaring face. Ah, well. Like father, like daughter. Er, clone. "The reason I'm telling you this is because we need your help to sto- er, help Knives. If you can act like him, you can infiltrate his army and help them become stronger." He finished, relieved to see Clone's smile. Perfect! And with his daughter's psychic abilities, controlling Clone will be a breeze. The information will be his and the army's threat will be nulled, making peace the only answer.

Nothing could possibly go wrong!

((((End))))

C-E: Ok, tell me if you people have any questions about this chapter. The plot begins to form and will go pretty fast after this. Just to tell you, my friend and I are on the fourth year of Clone. But it's funny as all bunnies! Stay tuned for the next chapter when we have a ASK LEGETTA! Special! Aka I'm too lazy to write the next chapter. R&R! Flames definitely welcome!