Since his trip to London Sherlock had not stopped thinking about the city, he had only been able to spend half a day in London and he was eager to return as soon as he could. Sherlock had always known that London was the place for him, he need the speed and intensity of the city to keep his mind entertained. When he used to imagine life in London he would first picture the flat he and Mycroft would be sharing, thankfully his brother would be spending the majority of his time in Downing Street and wouldn't be home that often. Sherlock would picture himself in the well-furnished flat (a Downing Street intern would receive no less) with the lounge set up as his meeting rooms for clients – people who would present him with interesting and complicated cases. He also imagined that the flat would be home to an array of on-going experiments and specimens ready for him to conduct thorough analyses. Before Sherlock had ever experienced London he had always thought that rather than feel anxious at the prospect of being virtually alone in big city, he would thrive of it. He would have Mycroft of course, but in order to fully focus on his work and research, Sherlock wanted to keep social distractions to a minimum. But this was before Sherlock had visited London and since the trip he had realised just how much he thrived off of John's company. Sherlock knew it was silly to even entertain the thought that John would want to come with him to London, John had his own life of course, but it didn't mean that he wouldn't miss his friend. He had also quickly come to realise that with the approaching Christmas holidays, he would have to go a whole three weeks without seeing John – something that he was more than a little dismayed by. Their time together in London had been extra special for Sherlock as it was the first time the pair had met outside of the classroom. Sherlock felt as if he had gotten to see the real 'John Watson', the man behind the teacher. It really shouldn't have surprised him when John revealed his true sexual orientation, all the signs were there, however certain human emotions, especially that of physically attraction were sometimes lost on Sherlock. That was why his growing feelings for John terrified him so much. Sherlock had always been able to count on his sound mental judgements, but when John was around he always found himself distracted. Nonetheless, Sherlock also found that being with John gave him a bit of a head rush, particularly when John was so fond of complimenting him or his work – it wasn't very often that Sherlock felt admired, and rarer still that he was so attracted to the admirer. However, Sherlock was also aware that when he was next to see John, they lunchtime meetings had become routine, that the pair would have to be a little more reserved than they had been in London. If he was being honest with himself, Sherlock was getting a little fed up of only being able to see John whilst he was acting as his teacher, if they were truly friends then it shouldn't matter if they spent time together outside of lessons. He decided that during their next lunch together he would suggest that the pair try and meet up over the Christmas holiday.

In the time since John had visited London with a group of his students he had had a lot of time to reflect on how that day had affected him. It wasn't necessarily that anything out of the ordinary had happened, other than himself and Sherlock ditching the rest of the class to go exploring London on their own, but rather John had experience quiet a personal revelation. Okay, so he had always known that his feelings towards Sherlock's were a little more than platonic, but it had taken the time they had spent together in London for John to realise that he was such a strong attraction to his younger friend. John didn't know if it was because Sherlock reminded him of his better days as a soldier, or if it was that his intelligence was beyond that of anyone else John had met before. Either way, his attraction to Sherlock was completely different to what he had felt to for Mary, with Mary everything had been so safe and predictable, not automatically a bad thing, but overtime the spark they first shared had fizzled out. So when John realised his feelings for Sherlock and experienced that spark all over again, he knew that he had to be extremely careful as not to compromise his position at the school. It wouldn't be right of him to let his emotions show whilst he was still acting as Sherlock's teacher and what was even to say that Sherlock would reciprocate his feelings. Regardless, John knew that he would have to tone down his behaviour when around his student, or at the very least stop gushing when he made impressive deductions.

It was the first day back since the class trip to London that previous Friday and Sherlock was feeling more than a little apprehension. It was as if they pair had shared a moment of intimacy with one another, but now had to go back to pretending that they were no more than teacher and student. Sherlock was eager not to overstep a line with John, he was his student after all and Sherlock did not want to let a schoolboy crush affect the career of someone he care about. As usual he waited for the lunch bell to ring out before heading over to John's room, he had always thought it would be best to give it a little time so that all of John's students had filed out of the classroom before he entered himself. Today was no different to the many other times he had spent his lunches with John, however Sherlock could tell instantly that something was not quite wrong with John. In the days before their trip to London Sherlock had noticed that John would brighten up the minute Sherlock stepped through the door and more often than not would put aside whatever he was doing to engage in conversation with him. However, when Sherlock entered the biology classroom this time he watched as John called out a quick 'hello' without taking his eyes away from his pile of books to be marked. Sherlock observed that this was more than likely a forced effort not to look directly at Sherlock as it was an obvious change in John's usual behaviour. Why he did not want to be seen to look directly at Sherlock he did not know, and he didn't like not knowing. He decided to hope that he was just overlooking John's reaction and make causal conversation.

"Hey John, did you have a good weekend?" Sherlock made sure to hide the fact that he'd noticed John's change of character.

Sherlock's effort to act as though nothing was wrong seemed to ease John a little, he decided that he didn't need to be so restrained that he wouldn't even look at the boy. John was reminded of a time back when he was in college, when he was so infatuated with a girl in his class that he could not look her in the eye for fear of revealing his feelings to her.

"Hmm, same old, same old. Yourself?"

Sherlock rolled his eyes, he had picked up on John's behaviour relaxing a little and this eased his own apprehension. "Boring. As usual and quite obvious when compared to the day I had on Friday."

"True, that was quite a day. You definitely took to the city environment" John smiled.

"Well after being cooped up in this small town my whole life, it was like a breath of fresh air. Although maybe not a literal one – it will be very interesting to study the effects of pollution levels on the minds of criminals." Sherlock noted.

John's smiled widened to a grin, he loved the way Sherlock's mind performed, like he was always working. As they sometime did, John let Sherlock set up a small experiment whilst he continued to mark the results of the last biology test he gave to his year eleven class. Thankfully it was a comfortable silence that the pair fell into, they just always seemed to click, no matter what each other were doing.

After setting up the experiment, Sherlock sat back and waited for the chemical reaction he needed to take place. He decided to use the natural pause in his work to bring up to John the idea of meeting over the Christmas break.

"So John, I was thinking," Sherlock began, "seeing as we're about to break up for the Christmas holiday and we're going to be apart – I mean away – for a few weeks, maybe we could erm… meet up sometime during that time?"

Fuck. Sherlock cursed himself, why was he acting like an idiot, he had never become so tongue-tied around John before.

John tried his best not to look taken back. It was not that he did not want to see Sherlock during the Christmas break, on the contrary, he would have loved to be able to spend more time with him. It was just that seeing Sherlock outside of the classroom would be a bigger step than he probably realised. Bunking off of the school trip to gallivant round London was one thing, but if the pair were to meet under non-educational purposes, certain questions might be asked. John realised that he was taking a bit too long to answer.

"Erm yeah sure, if you'd like" he replied, biting his lip a little.

"Oh okay, cool." Sherlock was all too aware that John was trying to brush him off, but in an attempt to conceal his own embarrassment he tried to busy himself back into his experiment.

John could tell that Sherlock was hurt by his dismissive reply, it actually pained him a little to see the boy so disheartened. He did not like having to give Sherlock the cold shoulder, but he had promised himself that he would not compromise his position as a teacher – not until Sherlock was not long a pupil of his at least. He just wished he knew how to tell Sherlock that his withdrawal was not a genuine attempt to distance each other.

As if by some clichéd miracle the school-bell rang out, signalling the end of the lunch break. Sherlock quickly packed up his experiment, not wanting to make things any less uncomfortable and said a hurried goodbye as he darted off to his next class.

John sighed as he watched Sherlock leave so uneasily, he vowed to find a way to explain to Sherlock his difficult position without revealing his true feelings. If there was such a way of course. John retuned back to his books, he had only managed to mark three test papers and his year eleven class were timetabled in for the lesson after next. As John sat down to continue his grading, the substitute teacher that had joined him on the class trip to London, Helen Jones, walked into his classroom.

"Oh hey John, I don't suppose you have a minute do you?" Helen seemed to insisting, rather than asking.

John stopped marking, again. "Fire away."

"Okay, please don't think I'm over stepping here John," Helen was trying to be as polite as possible, "but I just wanted to make sure that you weren't feeling uncomfortable with the attention shown to you by some of the pupils".

John paused. "You mean Sher-"

"-I mean the students that show a clear interest in you" Helen cut John off in an effort to keep their conversation necessarily vague.

John was thankful for Helen's discretion but really did not want to be having this conversation. "I see where you're coming from Helen and I appreciate your concern, but honestly I think I have the situation under control. Really though, I don't think it is anything more than silly infatuation."

Both teachers knew that the conversation was about more than a few girls crushing on John, but luckily for John, Helen was taking a very professional approach to the matter.

"Well that was all really John, but if it does get... out of hand, shall we say, you know where to find me." Helen gave John a forced smiled and exited the classroom.

John was left to reflect on the conversation he had just had. He knew that Helen was not threatening him or coming from an accusatory position, if anything she seemed to think that Sherlock was the one showing feelings for him – not the other way around. Even so, Helen may not have been warning him, but that did not mean that John should not take this as a warning sign. Sherlock still had five months of classes left at Baker Street Comprehensive and John did not want to put either of them in any awkward situations. But at the same time John did not want to have to pull away, if he had to cut ties with Sherlock, even for a short while, it would really trouble him. John hoped that the Christmas holidays would give them a little breathing space and that when they came back they could return to just acting as friends. John could no longer kid himself that he was attracted to Sherlock, and even more he had some gut feeling that Sherlock must be at least a little attracted to John – his behaviour earlier that day indicated that he wanted to spend more time alone with John. That was why John took it upon himself to promise that he would ensure that they both did not cross a line that might ruin what they could have.

Sherlock sat in his last biology class of that term, technically he had biology classes on a Friday too, but on the last day of term his school allowed their students to take the day off. This meant that this fifth period biology class would be the last opportunity he had to see John before they broke for the holidays. Sherlock was aware that he was exhibiting the same behaviour that John had when they had met after the London trip, but Sherlock just couldn't bring himself to look him in the eye. It hadn't really shocked him that he was so hurt by John's earlier signs of withdrawal from him, Sherlock guessed that maybe he had been too full on in London and that John was starting to regret befriending him. Consequently, Sherlock was feeling more than a little upset and frankly, a bit pissed off. He vowed that in order of saving John the trouble of making some half-hearted attempt to excuse himself from meeting him, which would just embarrass the both of them, Sherlock would just exit the class without saying another word. Which is exactly what he did and when the class finished he forced himself not to look at John – he feared if he did his resolve would break and he would find himself drawn to John once again.

John realised the moment Sherlock left his class without a word of goodbye that he had upset the boy, more than that John knew he must have really hurt him. John cursed himself, he should never have let Helen's comments unnerve him, he should've made an effort to apologise to Sherlock before the class had ended. Of course John had not wanted to cross a line with Sherlock, but he most definitely did not want to lose him. John realised that he'd have to do an awful lot to make it up to Sherlock, but he'd be damned if he let that boy slip away from him.