Title: Chrysanthemums for Mother
Author: landofthekwt
Rating: PG-13
Prompt: "Garden of Memories" a cycle of stories for Knittingknots
Word Count: 2164
Universe: Canon
Warning: Character Death
It was a cold day when she first heard her voice. At first she thought she was imagining things. The sound was no more than a muffled whisper echoed in the night.
But the sound refused to die and chased her into her dreams. In her dreams that woman sat with her arms wrapped around a great white dog.
It hurt to see her there. Both the dog and the woman seemed to call out to her to hear their voices. She would run to the bridge, but he was never there. It was not time to cross over yet.
It must be about the woman even though she did not want to see it. She had hated her with a passion. Wanted to see her dead. Had pursued this passion to the point of financing a coup de etat. Yet now the woman pursued her in her dreams.
One day the voice finally crystalized. It was coming from the jewel which her husband had given her. The voice was coming from the depths of hell. The voice repeated one phrase "Find my son." over and over again until the Lady thought that she was going to be driven mad.
Finally, she answered the call "Where can I find your son?"
The voice stopped as if surprised by an answering voice. Finally, one word was heard. "You."
" Why me? Why have you chosen me to haunt? Why can you not go gracefully?"
"You left me to die, knowing that he had tried to save me and his son."
" You are not my responsibility. You tore my husband away from me. He died for you. I will never see him again in this world because of you."
"He is there in the eyes of his son. Would you leave him to die, unloved in the wilderness? I was not strong enough. He beckoned from across the bridge and I ran to him deserting my little one.
I have failed as a mother. I left my little one just when he needed me most. That is why I am here.
This is my punishment. To watch him suffer without me. But I am your punishment. Punishment for deserting him. You knew he was there. You could see it in his eyes and yet you let him go."
" What must I do to appease you?"
"You must bring him to my grave site once a year. He must place chrysanthemums on my grave and say prayers for dead for me. Do this and I will cease to haunt you. Fail me and I will make you wish that you had never been born."
" Where can I find him?"
" I left him at my grave."
" And where is your grave?"
" I do not know. I know that I was trying to reach the Hojo lands in Musashi, but I never reached them."
The Lady of the West paused. She wished that she had a sign. Something to show her that she was doing the right thing. She wandered through her garden and gazed upon the bridge. He never came during daylight hours. His time was the night. His time was that of the full moon. He could give her no guidance today. She would have to follow her heart. A Mother's heart would always be able to find a lost child.
The voice faded into the meidou. She wondered if she had imagined. the voice, but the words still rang clear in her mind. Somehow, she knew that she must find the boy and reunite him with his mother if only for a day. She understood a mother's love. She knew what it meant to be separated forever from the one she loved.
She took to the skies from her castle in the air. From Kyoto she headed east following a scent that was nearly a year old. But it was a scent which she could never forget. At last she came to a small grave by a lake. The stone had one word carved into it. "Izayoi"
The scent at the grave site confused her. The writing on the tombstone and the scent on the grave marker were unmistakable and yet confusing. It was clear that he had carved the stone and marked the grave, but why. What was his relation to her?
He had brought her to the Castle in the Air. Then he had left her to perish in the Wilderness only to appear to bury her. Questions with no answers. She had denied their relationship that day in the castle. Yet one could not deny that he had saved her at Kamakura and had honored her in death. He had even defied his own mother's wishes.
But this was not the time nor the place for those questions. A duty had been laid on her. She must complete her task so that Izayoi's ghost would give her peace. Moreover, she knew that he was watching. Just as she knew he cared for her, he had died that his son might live. Who was she to refuse the call of the dead.
The trail was old. It bespoke fear. The little one had wandered as far as his little feet could carry him. She trailed him through brush, through fallen logs and into caves. Here and there she would find carcasses of dead animals as he became more desperate for food and began reverting to a more primal state.
She was beginning to wonder what she would find. He had seemed so innocent when she first met him. Little more than a hime's brat. What was he now? Had his youkai overwhelmed his human side? Had his civilized nature been lost trying to survive? She would only know when she found him.
Just when she was about to despair of finding him, she smelled a pack of wolf youkai on the hunt. Her curiosity was piqued. What could they be hunting so early in the morning?
Trailing them she came to clearing. There he lay in the center of the clearing. He was covered with dirt from his head to his toes. How could he not smell the death that waited for him in the bushes? Did he not have the nose? Were his survival skills so poor?
She gaged her own strengths. The wolf pack consisted of a mated pair, two humanoid demons and six wolves. It had been some time since she had fought anything. Her training had been in the domestic area. She had been raised to be a wife to a general. But now she would be required to be would have to risk her life to save the little one.
They were still circling. She made her decision. Flight rather than fight. They could not follow her in that form. The little one had lost so much weight that he would be easy to carry in her mouth.
She pounced. Her movements were so swift and graceful that she was airborne before the wolves could react. She had surprised herself with her ability to escape unscathed.
The boy was another matter. He needed attention immediately. All she could do at the moment was to climb toward her castle and safety. She prayed that she would be in at her castle, she reverted to her human form. Her ladies hurried to her side. They took the boy under their care. She staggered away to her room.
Today had been more adventure than she was used to. She had mocked Izayoi as a pampered hime and left her to die in the wilderness. Was she any better prepared to face the rigors of the world alone? Her mate had placed her castle in the clouds for just this purpose.
Her search for the little one had tied him to her. She could not imagine simply tossing him out into the wilderness. His present condition already caused her enough guilt. How could she face Izayoi if something were to happen to him?
She decided to ask for guidance. Her ladies in waiting assembled the candles around the pond. She lit the hundredth candle and came like a thunderbolt. The sound could be heard throughout the castle. Huge and magnificent the huge dog crossed the bridge and padded to her side. She caressed him as he licked her cheek.
" What shall I do with the little one? Shall I raise him here or return him to the world below?"
" He is not meant for the youkai world. Much as I would love to protect him, he must face the trials of life. Without those tests, he will not prepared for what is to come. I know that he will face life alone. He will curse my name for having abandoned him. I will watch over him, but he must never know that I am there. He must learn to fight and survive on his own. It is his way and the way that it must be."
"Do you forgive me for sending them into the world?"
" Izayoi could not face the world that hated her for loving me. She is safer now than she was when she was alive. My love for you will never waver. I understand how I hurt you. I hope you forgive me."
"Always, kobito"
She hugged the giant dog for the last time. He lumbered over the bridge into the mist. She could proceed without fear. He did not blame her. She need not free the little one's return to the world below. He would protect him from harm.
When Inuyasha had recovered, the Lady hesitated. It had been so long since she had raised Sesshoumaru. His presence gave her a sense of joy. She knew that she would regret what her mate had charged her with doing.
A year had come and gone since that day when she had banished them to surface. Today was the day when they must return to Izayoi's grave. She gathered the chrysanthemums from the ikeban into a vase and prepared to depart.
She knew that she would miss him. He had become a part of her life. She would call him "little one" and he would refer to her as "Honored Mother." A haori had been sewn for him to wear at the grave site. She would never presume to take away the fire rat robe which tied all of them together.
At last they were ready. Again, she clutched him in her mouth as she hurried toward the grave site. When she arrived, she was surprised to find flowers already on the grave. Again his scent was present. , but she pushed it out of her mind.
She gave Inuyasha the vase of chrysanthemums to place on her grave. Inuyasha said a short prayer that his mother had taught him. He turned around as if to ask what he should do next
" Little One, tell your mother what you have been doing since she died. I know that she can hear you. The dead are patient. Take as long you need to tell your story."
Inuyasha told his story to the silent tombstone. She silently sobbed as he related his travails, but she never showed any outward emotion. When he was finished, he looked at her quizzically.
" Little one. Your mother has requested that you come to her grave every year on this date. I would ask you to meet two week's s earlier so that we can prepare you to meet your mother."
He bowed to her.
" Thank you, Honored Mother. I appreciate all that you have done for me and for Mother. May the kami bless you and watch out for you."
With those words, he hugged her. She was not used to such display of emotion. Finally, she gave in and hugged him back. While she was holding, she stuck a small bag of coins inside of his fire rat robe. Not enough to live comfortably, but enough to avoid starving if no food was readily available.
He took off the ceremonial haori and handed it to her. She hugged him one last time and then he was off. Bounding and waving at her into forest until she could see him no longer.
She paused by the grave side As a mother she understood the need to hear from her son even though she was dead. Hopefully, Izayoi had achieved some peace.
She felt a twinge of jealousy. The little one had revived her maternal instincts. She worried for his safety. She was already looking forward to seeing him next year when they brought flowers for his mother.
She stole one of the flowers from the vase and inhaled its fragrance.
"Thank you for sharing him. We will take care of him until we meet again next year."
