You know, I'm a Michonne stan too. I'm petitioning myself for a Michonne cameo. That needs to happen, right?
We have but faith: we cannot know;
For knowledge is of things we see
And yet we trust it comes from thee,
A beam in darkness: let it grow.
Day 30
Han immediately went into action mode. He knew he was in danger, but Maige was too and he just couldn't leave her to get hurt. His brain went into overdrive and he thought of a ten second plan.
"Get Eli," he told Alyssa quickly. He pulled himself away from her and she clung onto his hand, terrified for him. With some regret, he yanked his hands away. "Just get him. I'll get to her. Go!"
Alyssa and Han broke into a run at the same time, charging in two opposite directions. As Alyssa rushed down the field with an impressive speed, Han stumbled through a misty forest. He could barely see the ground and continuously lost pace, almost tripping a few times. The whole place looked identical: big tree after big tree. And since that initial, blood curdling scream Han hadn't heard anything of Maige. He did not know if that was a good sign or a bad sign.
He held onto a tree as a stitch burned at his side. Considering Alyssa appeared to be a much better runner than he was, maybe she should've done the rescuing. Han glanced around the eery forest, which looked like something right out of a horror movie. He hoped for some kind of clue for what to do. Any sign that Maige was alive. He moved forwards tentatively, not knowing what the hell he was doing.
He turned around sharply just as a girl crashed into him. He was forced onto the ground, his back throbbing.
"Fuck!" Maige said. Han groaned, grabbing onto a tree and forcing himself to stand steadily. "Fuck. Han. We have to go. There's someone who is trying to kill us."
"What did he do?" Han looked around wearily. Now would really be a good time to have a gun, come to think of it.
Maige was struggling to talk due to her constricted breaths. She leaned against the tree, looking around wearily. "I bumped into him. I think it was a him," she didn't get a glimpse of the person's face. "He took out some kind of sword. I didn't have time to look at him or anything," Maige was considerably calmer but was still looking around nervously. Han was also antsy, but tried to keep a cool head. "I just got up and ran. I didn't look back. We need to find him. He's a danger."
"Okay," Han bit his bottom lip slightly. "I think we should go back to camp first, though."
Maige nodded. "Should we run?"
"I think we're safe," Han didn't like using the word think. He preferred certainties.
The two turned back towards the camp and made their way hesitantly. They were torn between running fast and going slowly and stealthily. Halfway through their journey they'd received a shock when they'd bumped into someone, but it was only Eli. Thankfully, Eli was armed to the teeth with knives and a machine gun, which made Maige feel secure again. What was a sword against a gun?
They made their way back to the outskirts of the forest. Those who had been awake were waiting for them in the field nervously. Adam and Ellie were holding hands and Alyssa was visibly happy to see Han make his way out alive. After running towards Han and giving him a very tentative hug, Eli glanced towards all of the others with his harsh eyes before talking.
"I'm going to go around the forest and look for this person," Eli said. "I need some target practice anyway. Jermaine will be on guard around here while I look around. Just go to bed, we'll be alright."
Everybody looked at each other hesitantly before walking off, mumbling around the drama amongst each other. A few made their way back to the campfire, others made their way to their tents in an attempt to sleep. Han watched everybody walk away while Alyssa clung tightly onto his arms. For a brief seconds, his eyes met Maige's while she picked up her gun from around the campfire. He'd know she'd make sure to never let it go.
Day 31
After breakfast, Maige made sure to corner Eli. He'd seemed to be extra avoidant that morning, not even attempting to get any breakfast. She'd been really paranoid about the hooded person she'd bumped into. There was something eery about him or her - the way they popped out of nowhere, the way they held a sword so comfortably. Maige got the impression that even someone with a gun would have a hard time against them.
She didn't tell anyone at breakfast, for fear of being mocked, but she'd even had a nightmare. She'd relived last night in her dreams, though this time she didn't get to run away and Han and Eli weren't there to get to her rescue. The man looked down at her and raised his sword and she'd woked up alone in her tent saturated in sweat, her pulse racing like it never had before. She had no-one left now. Nothing to live for. Her father and mother were dead, and god knows what had ever happened to her brother, but she didn't want to have the same fate as any of them.
Maige was terrified of dying. Her heart ached every day for her father, and she didn't want to admit it but her mother's death all those years ago had left scars in her mind. She didn't want to be like them. Not ever.
She trudged across the field, holding a flask of hot chocolate which Ellie had kindly prepared for her. She found Eli leaning against a tree, holding a gun in one hand and using the other to take repeated drags out of a cigarette.
"You know, I don't remember anyone scavenging cigarettes," Maige said, folding her arms across her chest and trying to appear authoritative. It didn't seem to faze Eli much, she barely acknowledged her.
"Found it in the shirt pocket of someone who'd died in the forest," he said casually. He held half of the cigarette out. "Want a drag?"
Maige tried not to sound as taken aback as she was. "My mom died of cancer. I try to avoid things that'll lead me down the same road as her." Eli just shrugged and Maige found herself grappling with conversation. With Eli, she didn't know how to reach the point of conversation she wanted to. She decided to cut down to the chase. "Did you find whoever it was last night, and kill them?"
"I didn't find nobody," Eli said. "Nobody who was alive, anyway. And none of them were hooded."
Maige sighed. "Shit."
"Hm," Eli dropped the cigarette, stomping on it and crushing it with his boot. He ran a hand through his dark hair, his face scrunching up briefly as he thought. "I doubt it is anything, just worried he'll tell a group about us. If he even knows that there's an us. For all we know, we could have attracted the scent of some scavengers. And by scavengers I don't mean our nice scavengers who run through town and pick up stuff that's lying about the remnants of civilisation. I mean the kind of scavengers who find survivors and enslave them. Usually they kill the men. They keep women and children for other purposes."
Maige's throat tightened a little.
"It's not even been a month since the apocalypse. The army are still working-"
Eli glanced up at her. "But the army haven't won yet. Trust me, some sick fucks out there are enjoying this temporary state of anarchy. There's no police and a very distracted army. It's like a kid walking into an empty sweetshop, isn't it?"
"He only had a sword..."
Eli loaded his gun.
"Then he won't be too hard to kill."
The weather was kind of mild, and the sun was the perfect temperature for the children, who were skipping and playing around the surrounding field while Selene and Alyssa desperately tried to keep them under control. Ellie and Adam watched from a distance, mild smiles on their faces as they enjoyed the pleasant weather. It was almost as if Maige hadn't just bumped into a creepy, stalker-y stranger the previous night.
Opposite the playing children, on the border of the forest, Adam noticed that Maige was talking to Eli. He was more observant than he'd appeared, and he'd noticed that Eli didn't talk much, but he was beginning to open up to Maige and Mari (the leaders of the group) and his co-workers, Jermaine and Wendy. Maige seemed like she was done with Eli and made her way back towards the campfire. Adam anticipated her joining them for a chat, but she strode past them and made her way towards the children.
"I wish Han would help us," Ellie commented as she peeled a kiwi with a knife. She gasped as she almost nicked her thumb, but continued when she realised it was a false alarm. "Or Melanie."
Adam smiled. "Han worked his butt off last night, and Melanie is officially the medic of the group, being a med school graduate and all. She's too important for us earthlings."
Ellie looked like she was about to protest, but caved in to reason. "Yeah. You're right. I just feel like there's all this drama and death going on and we're just here peeling kiwis or boiling something. Kind of anti-climactic."
"It keeps us alive."
Right on cue, Oscar made his way towards the campfire. Adam felt bad for the guy. The others were out scavenging and the only other person he really knew, Selene, was busy looking after crying children. Oscar looked at them almost apologetically, before sitting down.
"What's for lunch?" Oscar asked.
"The children get cookies and half a kiwi, and we get a whole kiwi," Ellie said, forced cheer drenching her tone.
"Wow," Oscar paused. "I feel like this is how Gwyneth Paltrow's daily routine went."
Adam paused. He briefly wondered if Gwyneth Paltrow was even alive. Maybe she was.
"I suggested mac and cheese," he shrugged, turning to Ellie. "But I was told that mac and cheese wasn't an option."
Ellie rolled her eyes. "Maybe, doofus, that's because we don't have macaroni," she tapped him on the nose as if we were a puppy, smirking. "And we don't have cheese. Get it now?"
Adam smiled at her. "When this is all over I am so going to eat so much mac and cheese."
Ellie licked her lips, fantasising about food. "What about pizza?"
"We are going to order so much pizza."
Oscar cringed a little when they kissed. He wasn't beyond kissing... Or anything more than that, for that matter, but public displays of affection were way too much for him. Still, Ellie and Adam were nice enough, and were easily the most welcoming people in the group. He left them to do whatever couples do for five second, absent mindedly focusing his attention to a white butterfly that fluttered past.
He turned back to Adam and Ellie, who were no longer kissing but were holding each other's hand affectionately. Adam whispered something that made Ellie burst into laughter. Not wanting to appear standoffish, Oscar decided to initiate conversation:
"So, you two are pretty tight, right?"
"Well, we're just two fools in love," Ellie smiled. "So maybe you could say that."
"Oh," Oscar forced a smile. He kind of wished he'd had the same affection from somewhere. Having an estranged father, an emotionally distant mother and a sister that only seemed to care about her grades didn't lead to the most loving of upbringings. And he'd never really had much romance with the exception of a few terminal relationships and even more hook ups. "How did you meet? Work or something?"
"No," Ellie rolled her eyes and then laughed. "It's the twenty first century. We met on the internet."
"Oh, I've used dating apps," Oscar said. He omitted the fact that it didn't result in anything more than a few awkward dates and - if he was lucky - a one-night stand. Looked like they hit the relationship jackpot.
"Not dating apps, I'm too awkward for that, we met on a forum. We both liked horror fiction and it just kind of grew from there," Adam squeezed her hand. "I lived in Georgia, worked for the Georgia Aquarium. But after one and a half years of long distance I decided I couldn't take it anymore. We lived in Binghampton. Prepared for a new life and then... yeah," he shrugged unsurely. "Messed up stuff like this happened. But we'll get through it. We're survivors."
"How did you survive?" Oscar asked.
Ellie seemed a little more uncomfortable with the topic. Oscar realised that most of the people in the group had probably lost relatives. Talking about the whole apocalypse deal was probably way more uncomfortable for them. Selene was definitely torn up whenever anything reminded her of her father - it must be worse for people like Maige, those who knew their relatives were definitely dead.
"We just drove as far as possible, ended up on the outskirts of Buffalo. Car broke down, but Maige and Joe were perfectly happy to help us. Now we're the camp's cooks, even though both of us aren't that experienced with cooking," Ellie smiled unsurely. "I miss Joe. I barely knew the guy, but he was always very sweet to me."
Adam frowned. "He told me I was punching above my own weight when he first saw me."
Oscar and Ellie both laughed, though Adam seemed much less pleased. Oscar's facial expression dropped when he craned his neck slightly and caught a glimpse of Maige making her way towards her tent. He didn't know why she got to him so much, but her mere presence was a bit of a raincloud. And it didn't help that he definitely felt responsible for her father's death.
Day 33
Melanie sat by the campfire, watching as everybody else socialised. The children were playing together as usual, giving the adults in charge a hard time. The guards would be out scavenging. Adam, Ellie and Han had just dished out lunch and were taking a break in their respective tents. She was all alone, as usual. Since telling everybody else she was a medic she'd become even more isolated from the group. No longer was she part of a group, messily cooking scraps for people. Now she just sat around all day until Jareck cut his leg or something.
There was her sister, but most of the time Elena was out scavenging. And then there was the worry that Elena would die while out scavenging too. Joe had died... Melanie wasn't stupid. She knew Elena was constantly in danger, and she didn't like it. She'd lost too many people in her short life. In fact, her sister was probably the only person she had left. She couldn't afford to lose Elena too.
Right on cue, Elena was out of her tent. She yawned and stretched, sitting on a log opposite Melanie.
"Hey," Melanie said in Filipino. "You took your time getting up."
"I had lunch, I got full, I took an afternoon map," her sister replied. "When I'm not out there watching the dead stumble around and fearing for my life I think I deserve a nap, no?"
"Yeah," Melanie replied, the wind carrying her dark hair. She plucked a daisy from the grass, watching it twirl around between her fingers. Her sister perked up, knowing that there was something wrong with Melanie. Elena had always been Melanie's guardian angel. She knew exactly when there was something wrong with Elena. Knowing that there was no point in trying to hide her feelings with her sister around, she voiced her concern: "You know how there are zombies walking and eating people?" She dropped the daisy she held, the wind forcing it to roll into the fire where it shrivelled into blackness. "Do you think he is walking and eating people?"
Elena gave that shocked reaction that Melanie rarely saw.
"He..." Elena rubbed her temples a little. "No. You only turn if you're bitten. And he's deep in a grave now, so even if he did there's no getting out."
"What about mother?" Melanie's stone shook.
Mari vaulted over the log and sat next to Melanie, immediately forcing a jump out of the young Filipino girl. Not that Melanie found Mari intimidating - despite being a tough cookie, Melanie found her the most welcoming member of the group, along with Han, Adam and Ellie. But that was sudden and unexpected. Elena was immediately quiet, just looking into the flames.
"Hey," Melanie smiled.
"How has your first week as the official medic been?" Mari asked with a smile. She knew she'd come in at an awkward time. "What were you guys talking about?"
Melanie was about to speak, but she quickly realised that Mari couldn't speak Filipino. In fact, no-one in their camp good, which was good for the privacy she so desired. "Just sister stuff."
"Oh. Alright," Mari pretended to not be skeptical. "Well, you wouldn't believe what we scavenged today?"
"What?" Elena asked, curious.
"A radio that works. And it works pretty fucking well," Mari smiled. The sisters turned to each other and smiled too. A radio felt almost like a symbol that somewhere out there civilisation was still living, breathing and - most importantly - talking.
The radio was the attraction of the century, like an ancient relic that had been discovered or a new technology that had been invented. Those who weren't busy working were surrounding it, which was most of the camp. Adam, Ellie, Han, Alyssa, Mari, the sisters, the Motts, Eli, Maige and all of the children were crowded around it, talking excitedly and bickering over how to work it. Eli had taken charge of the situation, and was desperately trying to find some kind of station that worked. He didn't get much luck until he grew frustrated and kicked it.
It burst into life.
"Hello? Calling to all survivors..."
"Don't kick it next time," Maige scolded.
Eli hushed her before they listened to the radio's announcement. "This is the U.S department of Health and Human Services issuing warnings to all live civilians: stock up on food and water, find weapons and stay away from cities. The military is taking control of the situation to the best of our abilities," static began to clog up the feed, the announcer's voice crackling in and out of obscurity. "It is advised that you stay away from all the infected civilians you encounter, but we repeat, do not kill them - do not kill them. We are working on a cure and-"
It shut off. It was like a dark cloud had ascended over them. Even the kids knew that what they heard wasn't exactly good, and Selene caught sight of Thomas and Jareck giving each other a very particular look.
"They're spouting bullshit," Mari said bluntly. "They're not working on a cure. They were. They're just lying that the project is still going because there's already anarchy, if the remaining population panics with no hope for a cure it'll be anarchy on steroids."
"What do you mean?" Ilene glared at her, hugging her daughter close to her chest.
"All the medical facilities are down," Mari told her.
"How do you know that?" Selene grew curious.
"I have little birds that whisper in my ear," Mari told her. Everyone looked at her skeptically. "And I happened to bump into a research doctor about a week ago. He told me he was working on a cure in New York. Apparently it was an international project, they were all talking to each other. Most of the places are overrun and those that aren't are now on lockdown. It's not good."
"Fuck," Oscar cursed. Selene nudged him disapprovingly..
"Why didn't you tell us this?" Ilene immediately challenged.
"Let me handle this, honey," Jaime squeezed her hand sweetly, though Ilene snapped her hand away as if she wanted to do anything but touch Jaime, leaving her husband looking somewhat deflated. His tone was more firm, but there was a forced sweetness to it: "You and Alyssa take the kids. They don't have to hear this kind of stuff, it's too depressing for them."
"I'm staying," Chelsea said firmly.
"Why?" Ilene said.
"Because I want to know what's going on."
Ilene looked like she was going to protest, but decided against it. Jareck and Thomas were more than willing to be taken away from the boring and somewhat scary adult talk, so they voluntarily went along with Alyssa while Ilene forced her daughter away. Everybody ignored Sierra as she screamed for her father. Once the kids were away, Mari immediately put her business face on.
"I didn't tell you guys stuff for the same reason the government isn't telling everyone else," Mari emphasised to everyone else, who mumbled worriedly amongst themselves. "Apparently most of the gas, electricity and water lines are down now. This is when things get serious. I'm willing to bet millions and millions are dead now." Selene felt sick. "Shit was already serious, but it gets even more serious and we need to step up our game. Okay?"
Nobody answered, but the lack of answers were in themselves as symbol of unanimity. Chelsea was the one who seemed the least affected, strangely enough. Everybody else gave each other fearful glances. For the first time in a long time Oscar held onto Selene's arm and gave her a very concerned look. She didn't know what to say. All she knew was that she wished she were one of the children who played in the field, somewhat oblivious to the horrors of the world. Things were already bad enough. Now Mari had dropped the news that things were getting worse.
What could that mean? How could things get any worse?
Day 36
As usual, when the scavengers were out scavenging and everybody else was occupied by their daily chores, Ilene, Selene and Alyssa had decided to take the kids to the river after lunch. There, they would wash dishes and their clothes. Accompanying them was Maige, who just tagged along to offer some protection just in case something went horribly wrong. But it never did. The kids enjoyed playing around the river or jumping into it, and they got their chores done pretty quickly. It was one of the few times where Alyssa had seen somebody at ease.
Alyssa and Ilene sat together closely, scruggling to scrub the large pile of laundy that they had been given. Selene was helping the kids wash the dirty dishes, which brought out some kind of protest.
"Poor Selene," Alyssa sniggered when Jareck was being difficult. "Those kids are a handful."
"Tell me about it," Ilene smiled, picking up a shirt and beginning to scrub. "We have Jareck, who has ADDD or whatever they're calling it nowadays, Chelsea - who would make Wednesday Addams jealous - and then there's Thomas who is depressed." She paused. "With good reason, of course." She finished scrubbing the shirt and threw it into the pile of supposedly clean laundry. "And then there's Sierra, who has a breakdown whenever me or Jaime aren't around her," she made eye contact with her daughter who was with Selene, giving her a reassuring smile. "You know, I'd even trade places with the scavengers."
"Children are difficult," Alyssa paused. "But at least this job won't kill me."
"Really?" Ilene smiled. "The stress is getting to my heart," both her and Alyssa laughed.
"Hey? Are these Jaime's?" Alyssa said, holding some expensive jeans up. Ilene glanced at them, her face scrunching up.
"Throw them in the river or something," she said emptily, scavenging the laundry pile for something that would be easy to clean.
"That's a little mean," Alyssa eyed Ilene wearily, trying to not be too inquisitive. Alyssa realised that even though most of their little group had got on, there were lots of secrets. She was beginning to learn that firsthand, and she didn't know how she felt about it. "Why, is there something up with you and Jaime?" She asked, using the river water to scrub around the jeans with the rough sponge she held.
"I know everyone's been gossiping," Ilene said, bluntly. Alyssa opened her mouth, but decided she'd shoot herself in the foot if she confirmed or denied the true accusations. "Jaime and I have always had problems." Ilene lazily picked up some socks, scrubbing them half heartedly. "I know we acted like the golden couple, but that's because Jaime would die if anyone else knew otherwise. But I'm not so good about lying about my feelings. Things have never been good."
"Why would you marry someone if you always had problems?" Alyssa asked, feeling naive.
"Because I was stupid and shallow when I was in high school," Ilene said, forced to come to terms with her own flaws. She threw the socks into the pile and began on another pair of socks. "Jaime was the young and handsome kid, son of a multi millionaire. Me? I was just the daughter of a poor bookstore owner in New York who dreamed of writing and being published. But for some reason when we met in the bookstore there was just something there," she smiled at the memories. "I guess we were in love, once. I ditched everything for him and we married stupidly young. We had a kid stupidly young, too."
"Cute," Alyssa smiled.
"Briefly. Things went to shit after that," Ilene looked around to make sure no one was around the riverbank. Barely audible over the light sigh of the river, she whispered to Alyssa. "You won't tell anyone else this, right?"
Alyssa smiled. "You have my word."
"Well, the honeymoon period was over pretty quickly," Ilene picked up one of Mari's tank tops. "When Jaime inherited his father's business he became more reckless. He was always charming and loving with me... He still is... But I don't know. There were rumours."
"Rumours?"
"Of him getting into stupid amounts of debt. Of him taking drugs. Of him cheating on me. It was rumour after rumour after rumour. And I didn't want to face them, so I just listened and refused to act. But with every new story I heard whispered by people who saw me as some joke, my heart cracked a little more. If it wasn't for Sierra I would have left. And then there was the fact in Jaime's world I had a nice house... and prospects... which I would be leaving..." She paused. "So I devoted all my time to Sierra. I would spend every hour with the day with her, just painting, or playing piano, or reading her stories. Jaime was never home anyway. We bought a nice house by the sea, away from New York City. We'd spend time there."
"I can tell you care about Sierra a lot," Alyssa put some underwear into the pile, looking at the little girl, who was sitting on Selene's lap and watching everyone do their chores. "She's beautiful."
"She is," Ilene smiled. "I was still lonely, though. My sister helped. She would come over a lot, just to give me company. And then there was her best friend, Andreia. She... she basically saved my life and kept me sane. We'd walk along Manhattan with Sierra, or we'd feed the ducks in Central Park. Soon I was spending every second with her, and Sierra loved her too." She paused. "Sometimes she asks where Andreia is." Ilene shook her head, sighing tearfully. "And I don't know where Andreia is. I wish I knew where Andreia was because I miss her like hell."
It all clicked for Alyssa, whose face dropped slightly.
"Wait," she paused. "You and Andreia were in love... Weren't you?"
Ilene smiled tearfully. "Yeah. And Jaime caught us in bed. He was furious, the hypocrite," Ilene forcefully forced the tank top she was cleaning into a laundry pile. She rested her head in her hands, too frustrated to continue with her chores. "I should have left him that. I planned to, but by then it was too late. New York was quickly overrun by the dead and Jaime and I just grabbed Sierra and drove away. And now I don't know where my sister or Andreia are. Every day I lie awake at night just praying that they got away and lived. But I don't know."
Ilene started crying more vehemently. Hoping that Selene or the kids didn't notice, Alyssa temporarily ditched cleaning and rubbed Ilene's back consolingly. Ilene relaxed, burying her face into Alyssa's shoulder and crying into it for a few more seconds. Then, without a word, she stood up and walked back into the forest. Alyssa considered stopping her, but realised that she was having a hard time. She was in a loveless marriage and the people she cared for were gone too. Alyssa knew what it was like to have people you cared about once.
The sound of the children's laughter filled the air, somehow contrasting from the grim emotions Alyssa felt inside. She decided to tackle the pile of laundry on her own and picked up the next item of clothing, thinking contemplatively and listening to the kids' laughter and the rush of the river. Unlike everyone else, she had never felt so at home in her life.
"That was an awful joke," Wendy told Jermaine as they both walked along the perimeter of the camp. Night had descended and everybody was either asleep or in their tents. Since the panic alarm had been raised almost a week ago, the guards were expected to be extra alert and attentive just in case somebody dangerous arrived. Many people in the camp, notably Mari and Maige, now slept with guns in preparation for an upcoming attack. Wendy didn't like the way it put her on edge, but Jermaine and his bad jokes could put her at ease temporarily before she had to worry about fighting for her life. "Surely you have some good ones?"
"I know cancer jokes."
"Don't be grim, Jermaine."
"What? Do you want me to tell racist jokes?" Wendy glared at him. "I'm black, I can do it."
"It would help if racist jokes were funny," Wendy said, looking into the clearing of the forest to see if someone was there with Jermaine over her shoulder. As usual, nobody was. There hadn't been any walker activity since she had killed one almost two weeks ago. "Which they're not. At least your bad jokes have some so-bad-its-funny merit to them."
She turned, making her way away from the forest and towards the highway on the other side of camp. Jermaine followed behind her.
"That's the point, it's ironically racist."
"You sound white now."
"Wendy, Wendy," he smiled. "You hurt my heart."
Wendy made her way towards the highway's large, winding roads, saying very little. Since having to work with him, her relationship with Jermaine had changed. And she didn't know how she felt about that. She saw a side to Jermaine that was funny and even - somehow - gentle and caring. And it made her like Jermaine. She felt like they'd bonded. No longer were they avoiding each other and glaring each other at every opportunity possible. They'd joke and even talk about topics that they cared about.
But no matter how hard she tried, or no matter how Jermaine acted, there was still a part inside that was inherently opposed to him. To tell the truth, she still had a big disdain for him. He was the guy who had killed Damien, after all. And though after the apocalypse she'd grown to understand why that was necessary, a part deep inside of her couldn't ever forgive him for what he did. And there was also the fact that generally he was a rude asshole. She made her way towards the highway, barely saying anything to Jermaine as he walked after her.
"Have I said something to annoy you?" Jermaine asked, scratching the back of his hand and holding a large gun with one hand. "You know, I really understand how racism sucks. I didn't mean to offend you."
"I'm not offended, please," Wendy rolled her eyes. "My grandma votes republican and has some pretty nasty views. I'm used to people saying offensive stuff. It doesn't really bother me."
"This isn't still about Damien, is it?" Jermaine said, somewhat quieter.
Wendy paused.
"Lets not talk about this," she murmured. "We have a job to be doing. We can talk about these things when we don't have to protect everyone else's life."
"That's a yes, then," Jermaine mumbled.
Wendy, once again, decided that it wasn't worth replying. If she lied Jermaine would know. If she told the truth Jermaine would either be upset to the point where she'd feel like an asshole or he himself would revert into asshole mode. She walked along the perimeter of the empty road, looking at the stretching highway that peered into the distance. She could see some tall buildings and conjectured that was Buffalo - she could even see faint orange lights around them. She knew they were flames. So this is what the military were doing in Buffalo? Didn't look like they were helping.
She brushed some hair out of her eyes, ignoring Jermaine's looming presence as she walked across the road briefly. No cars would come down it. The highway streetlights were now dead and had been for a little over a week. It was like civilisation died that little bit more with every passing day. Despite nothing too disastrous happening, she knew it was getting to her group. It was getting to her.
"I'm sorry," Jermaine said gently behind her.
Wendy turned around and looked at him, raising an eyebrow with disbelief.
"I'm sorry for what happened with Damien," he said again, avoiding her gaze but speaking with a bit more force. "I wish I didn't have to do that," Wendy was about to speak again but he spoke forcefully, halting her: "And I know that seems like a piss poor justification, but it's true. He was infected. And even if he wasn't, he was bleeding to death. I didn't want him to rise again and I know he probably wouldn't want to, either," Jermaine turned and headed back towards the field, but paused to give an afterthought. "I know how much it hurts, watching people you know and even care about die. And I'm so sorry you have to know that, too. I'll give you my condolences. But I won't apologise for saving your life."
Great. Now Wendy felt bad. She stood around the road, watching Jermaine walk away. He probably wanted her to do this, which made her not want to do it, but she decided to screw it. He walked past the dead campfire and she hurried after him, struggling under the weight of her large gun.
"Jermaine!" She called.
He paused and she caught up to him. When she saw that they were standing close to the cornfield she realised that she'd taken a journey just to talk to him. She glanced up at him briefly, trying to grasp words that didn't come.
"Look," she didn't know what to say. She wasn't ready to forgive him, but she was sick of holding him to account for something anybody sensible would've done in his position. She didn't want to cling onto this hatred she felt. "Jermaine. I'm sorry."
He wasn't crying, but he was emotional. But Wendy immediately knew his mind was on something else.
"You shouldn't be," he said, his voice breaking slightly. "Wendy, I'm a bad person."
"No..." Wendy paused.
"Yes," he stressed more firmly. "I-I've been to prison."
Wendy didn't know how to process that information. A lot of people had been to prison or been in trouble with the law at one point in their lives. Wendy had received so many fines for speeding or parking she couldn't count them on both hands.
"Jermaine, I didn't mean to reduce you to this," she smiled, holding his hand and squeezing it. "Don't be such a manchild."
He shook it away.
"You don't get it," Jermaine turned away from her. "You're right, okay? I'm an asshole." Wendy gave him a confused glare. "I went to prison because I was a bad person. I had a wife and kids and I... I beat my wife." He turned towards her, his eyes slightly damp. "Five years ago I beat the shit out of my wife. That's why I went to prison." The words were still sinking into Wendy's consciousness. In a weird kind of way, it made sense, but it still shocked her. "And I thought I've moved on from that. But I haven't."
Wendy looked like she was going to say something. Similarly, she saw Jermaine start and cease a planned sentence in a split second. She couldn't condone what Jermaine did, not ever, and she knew she should've walked away and held contempt for him like she had always done. But, stupidly or rightly, a part of her deep inside felt kind of bad for him.
Jermaine, not looking like he could take the judgement, wiped his eyes and walked away. This time Wendy didn't even look after him. When the words sank in she found herself more disgusted. From what she knew about Jermaine, about him having a family, about his temper, it really did make sense. But how could anybody ever do that? The thought of even an ass like Jermaine doing something so reprehensible - beating his wife so badly that it warrants arrest - was sickening. Despite it being a cool summer's night, she felt deeply cold inside.
The rustling of corn snapped her out of her train of thought. Or she swore she at least saw some corn rustle. She moved closer to the cornfield, peering into it but keeping a safe distance. She was so heavily distracted and would usually let it be, but with a Walker almost getting into camp and with Maige bumping into some hooded assailing she couldn't take any chances. After a good minute there was no more noise, and tentatively deciding she was safe, Wendy walked away.
She found herself crying slightly. She had no idea why.
Alyssa exhaled, relieved. That was a close call. Once she heard Wendy walk away she stood up, peering out of the cornfield and moving closer to the edge of it. She didn't hear Wendy and Jermaine's conversation, but it seemed pretty intense. It was the third incident of people in the camp all hiding secrets from each other she'd seen, and she was currently hiding with exhibit number three.
"Selene," she turned around, hissing. "Hurry up. We almost got fucking caught."
"I'm sorry," she heard Selene say loudly closer into the cornfield. "I-I barely know how to work this thing. How the hell did you convince Mari to give you one of these?"
Alyssa cleared her throat, awkwardly. "I told her that I might need one in the future just in case there's a slip up with Han."
"You and Han are...?"
"No, I'm not a slut," Alyssa said, offense in her tone. "And, for your information, Han and I aren't even official yet. I just needed an excuse to keep your secret safe."
There was another silent pause. Alyssa tapped her feet impatiently, staring into the summer's night. They needed to find a way to get to camp without Jermaine or Wendy seeing them. Mind you, they could just say they were going out to pee. In Selene's case, it was kind of true. She turned around, her tolerance faltering. At that moment Selene shoved some corn aside and put herself into view, her expression neutral.
"Is everything okay?" Alyssa said to Selene, tentatively. "Look, you can tell me..."
Selene waved the pregnancy stick in front of Alyssa, looking completely neutral. Alyssa took it from her, her heart rising into her throat. She knew that this could end up badly for Selene for a multitude of reasons. Selene looked down at her sadly whilst she shakily read the results from the pregnancy.
Oh shit.
"My mum is going to kill me," Selene burst into tears, turning away from Alyssa and covering her eyes with her hands in an attempt to slow down the waterworks. Alyssa gawped at the test for five minutes, not even to think of consoling Selene while she cried. Selene was probably too short sighted to acknowledge it right now, but she had a lot more to worry about than her parents' disapproval.
DUN DUN DUN.
Yeah, things are not going well at all. I called this chapter 'Secrets' for a reason. And how the hell does Alyssa end up kind of knowing every one (to different degrees)?
Anyhow, hope you enjoyed the chapter :)
~Toxic
