Dean's POV
"Sunshine?" I begged as I answered my phone after I saw that Lou was calling.
"Try again," Crowley crowed. "Though I have been told I bring a curtain warmth."
"If you hurt her I swear to god I will end you!" I was holding the phone so hard I was almost concerned it would break in my hand.
"Don't get your knickers in a twist. She's fine. We've just been talking. Turns out she had a little bump on the head and doesn't remember anything." I was bursting with anger and at this point very glad I wasn't behind the wheel of baby.
"What do you want Crowley?" Those were always dangerous words but I'd do anything to get Lou back.
"You know I can fix this little memory block of hers. I'm sure it will make life easier for you to pop that cherry," he continued.
"Damn it Crowley!"
"The prophet for the girl. Tomorrow at midnight. I will send you the directions." The line went dead.
I dialed Sam next. "Is she okay?" Sam was concerned with her before anything else.
"Crowley wants to make a trade. Kevin for Lou." I was pacing in the bunker. I ran a hand through my hair. "That son of a bitch took her when she was out drinking."
"It's going to be okay Dean," Sam tried to sooth.
"How Sammy? We're not giving Kevin that that bastard and we can't let him do anything to her."
"I know. I finished the job, Oliver is good. I am on my way back to the bunker now so we will figure this out." I could tell that Sam was driving by the pauses his voice made every once and awhile.
"Just get here fast." I hang up the phone and stormed into the kitchen, grabbed a beer and went to work, looking through the archives for anything that would help. I sat down and sighed, doing the only thing I could think of. "Cas, you got your ears on? Listen, you know I am not one for praying, 'cause in my book it's... it's the same as begging. But this is about Lou, so I need you to hear me. Crowley's got her. I said some things I shouldn't have. On top of that these trials are messing Sam up pretty good. We need you. Where the hell are you, man?"
Lou's POV
He had given me a room. The King of Hell gave me a room. It had a bed and a closet full of clothes and there was a bathroom that connected to the room. It was dark filled with reds and blacks and very much not me. There was no light or clutter or anything that made me comfortable.
The sheets were black and satin and the blanket was red and velvet and the floors didn't have a shirt on them and the walls were painted black and bare. The clothes were all formal gowns and even the bathroom was spotless.
I had tried to open the doors when I woke up but they were locked and I could hear footsteps outside. No escape. No weapons that I could find. No memory.
Sure I had read some of the books about our lives. I didn't even show up until the second book. I seemed okay enough in the books. Not much was different from who I was then to who I was now. That was the part the hurt the most, the fact that I seemed like basically the same person and Dean looked at me like I was a complete stranger.
And I was thinking about Dean again. Before the Douche of Hell nabbed me, all I could think about was trying not to think about Dean. The way he smelled like soap and leather and gunpowder. The way his voice sounded like gravel. The way his eyes bore deep into my soul when he forgot that I couldn't remember.
I found out from the books a lot of things that made sense but didn't resonate as real. Like when you read a story about a hurricane that hit somewhere and you think, "oh that's sad," but you don't feel the full weight of it. Dean liked women, a lot. Women liked Dean. Whatever so don't care. Sam's girlfriend, poor Jessica. Then there was Bobby. I had worked out that he took over as father for me, but I still didn't work out the why or how or anything. He was dead and gone and I couldn't feel it.
Suddenly the only exit swung open and Crowley walked in. "Hello Darling," he purred at me making my skin crawl. "How are you liking your room?" I couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not, he just had one of those faces.
"It's um," I tried to find the words that wouldn't get me killed or laughed at, "dark… and clean…" I trailed off unsure of what else to say.
Crowley stuffed his hands in the pockets of his black dress pants. "I'm going to cut to the chase because Squirrel and Moose are trying to undermine my deal as we speak." I was trying to figure out why he was talking about a squirrel and a moose but he just kept going. "I need some information. You need some help. I can get you your memories back. In return you will tell me where Kevin Tran is."
I waited a beat, thinking about what all this would mean. Sure, there was the chance of me going full cuckoo's nest, but at least I would be able to say that I really belonged with the Winchesters. Then again, what good is memory when you're bat shit? "I don't know, it kinda feels like making a deal with the Devil." I chewed on my lip and moved to sit on the plush bed.
Crowley put his hand over his heart in mock pain. "You wound me dear Louise. I would never do deals like Lucifer. Unlike that feathered dick, I keep my bargains."
My mind was reeling with the knowledge of Lucifer, but I couldn't think about that right now. "Why am I here Alistar?" I looked at him, the gears in my head suddenly turning.
"You are the perfect bargaining chip for those flannel wearing apes." He took a step closer and I did my best not to let my fear show. I don't think I did a very good job as he moved all the way to the foot of the bed.
I forced a laugh. "Me? The perfect bargaining chip?" I had to sell it. "Without my memory I am useless to the boys. Dean kicked me out the night you found me. With my memory… Well Cas says if you crack my melon and release them all, I go crazy. They don't need crazy. They would drop me at the nearest hospital safe haven style. I'm worthless to them." Strangely enough, I sold it. Crowley believed it. He believed it because I told the truth.
I watched as he gritted his teeth, trying to think out his next move as if we were playing a game of chess. Then I saw the idea flash in his eyes. "Maybe, but you are still of use to me. If I can access your memories I can get all the juicy torid details of the Winchesters and all their associates, including my prophet." He turned to leave. As he exited the large doors, he stopped at one of the guard demons. "Make sure she is ready for dinner in an hour. Formal wear only. If she refuses…" he shot a glance back at me, "get creative."
I swallowed hard as the doors shut behind him. He was going to break me open and try to scoop out the memories. My mind was racing, spinning in circles, thoughts crashing into one another until I couldn't move and I didn't know if my eyes were open or closed. My mind finally settled on one thought; I really didn't want any demons getting "creative" with me.
I moved to the closet and looked at all the gowns. None of them were even close to my style. They were all floor length and skin tight. I settled on one that didn't look too bad and looked like I might actually be able to move in it. It was black with sparkles that made it look like the night sky. The material was almost slippery like water under my fingertips making me wonder what exactly this dress was made out of. It hung tight around my hips and low on my back. It was the kind of elegant that made pretty girls beautiful and beautiful girls stunning. It just made me uncomfortable.
I strapped on the only shoes that looked like I wasn't going to fall flat on my face in and finally I decided I was done. Thought before any of the grumpy grumps that worked for Crowley could walk in I took one of the high heels in my hand and snapped off the stiletto heel. Finally, a weapon. I stuffed the heel away in the folds of the dress just in time for goon one and goon two to swing open the wooden doors.
I spun to look at them, my dress twirling with me making me feel ridiculous. The way the demons were eyeing me made me want to rip this dress off and burn it… no it made me want to keep the dress on, definitely on, and throw over it a parka the size of a circus tent. I swallowed my fear but I was sure they could hear the jackhammer rhythm of my heartbeat. They just glared at me. "The King will see you know." Was all the shorter, more muscled demon said. I followed them out of the room I was being kept in and noted every inch of the dark hallway. It was narrow with doors every 50 or so feet. There were torches on the walls between the doors and that was it. There was nothing special, just a long super creepy hallway in hell. Nothing special at all. I had to calm my breath as I realized my intake of air was getting shorter, faster, and sharper.
We finally emerged in the place I woke up in when I was in the cage. It looked exactly the same with it's dark somewhat damp deco. The throne and the no escape routes where still there. Though, now there was an absurdly long table with a bunch of food on it in the middle. There were two chairs on either end of the table and I forced myself to not roll my eyes at the ridiculousness of this.
"Please, Louise dear, sit," Crowley gestured to the table after he appeared out of nowhere. How did he do that? How can I figure out how to do that? I looked at him for a beat, then took the seat closest to me. He smiled that slimy little smile that made me want to punch him in the face.
"Why are we eating dinner? Why am I in this ridiculous dress?" I looked down at myself and frowned. "Stop playing with me Crowley, I'm not some wind up toy."
He smirked at me. His cocky face made me think that maybe he was just born that smug. Then I had the overwhelming thought about how demons where made, how they were born. "Well Darling, I do not think of you as a windup toy. More as an amusing companion."
I didn't know how to reply to that but I did know that I needed to suppress my urge to speak. If I spoke something bad would happen. So I took a sip of the wine that was in a silver cup in front of me. This table was awful. I drank. I drank. I drank. And then the wine was gone. So I started to eat the food. There was chicken and apples and asparagus and potatoes and oh my god so much butter it was heavenly. I can't believe I thought that. I was in hell thinking that food was heavenly. Weird. My life was weird. "Darling, are you hearing anything I am saying or are you too busy moaning into your food?" I looked up at him. I swear that his cockyness destored ever so slightly to what almost seemed to be confusion.
I stopped eating. I put my silverware down on the plate in front of me. I wiped my mouth with a black satin napkin. God this was a weird meal. "I… um… I'm sorry." Did I just apologize to the King of Hell? Yes, apparently I did.
"I said, that you need your strength. Getting your memories back will be hell love." I swallowed nothing, my mouth dried up completely.
I shook my head violently. "No." I sputtered out my thoughts as if they were hale falling from the sky. "You can't do this to me. You can't. I just need time or whatever. I need time." I pleaded with him. I pleaded and begged and I knew that I looked pathetic. "I need so badly not to be crazy." My voice came out small.
The King of Hell sighed as if I were some whiny toddler. "I don't care whether you go crazy or not. I care if you are useful to me." He twirled his fork in his hand. I shook my head.
"No!" My voice raised to an octave I didn't know anyone was capable of. Then suddenly I wasn't in my seat anymore, I was pinned against the back wall, my airway being cut off. I couldn't move. I couldn't breath. Black spots were forming around the edges of my vision. I was vaguely aware of the fact that the horrible long table disappeared with all the food. I hardly noticed when Crowley walked towards me.
I only realized that he moved when I heard his voice in my ear. "The flannel monkeys aren't coming for you. I can do whatever I want with you and I will relish in your screams." That was the last thing I heard before the whole world went black.
Dean's POV
Son of a BITCH! That son of a bitch snatched her. He snatched Lou up at her safe place. That was the place she went when she wanted to feel wanted because I was the dumbass who didn't make her feel wanted. Hell I told her that if might be better if she left. She should have never left at all. If she had never come on the hell hound hunt none of this would have happened.
I was pacing around my room running through every scenario in my head. I had already gone through all the alcohol in the bunker. I didn't trust myself to drive anywhere so I didn't go out to get more.
Sam was supposed to be home an hour ago. A freakin' hour ago! What the hell was he doing that was so damn important that he was not here figuring out how to get Lou back. It was freakin' Lou. She was the only person in this damn world who could like with us and not go psycho or turn darkside or just die. She couldn't die from this. Not my dumbass mistake. Not when I should have taken her on the hunt. She needed her memory back and Cas said she need to hunt. I just couldn't deal with her not being as broken and damaged and dark as me.
I walked out of my room, to the war room. That was the last place I had seen her. She was pissed. She was wearing my shirt. Her hair was messy and crazy and piled on top of her head. Her bangs were getting too long and hanging into her eyes just a little bit. She was eating… god what was she eating? I ignored her and yelled at her and told her that she would be better off somewhere else.
I was starting to get pissed. So pissed. Then there was a chair flying through the air. It crashed into the floor. It splintered as a leg broke off it. I throw another chair when Sam finally walked in. He just managed to dodge the chair as he looked at me with that concerned puppy dog face.
"Dude," it was such a simple word. He sounded so concerned.
I looked at him and then I felt it. There was a burning behind my eyes and a slight wetness on my cheek. "I told her to go." It was just a whisper.
He looked at me with that "what the hell dude" look I've gotten to know pretty well. "No you didn't Dean. This is not your fault. You couldn't know."
"Damn it Sam. You told me that I had to stop pushing her away and I didn't listen. She locked herself in her room and then she went out and I don't know if she was even planning on coming back!" Yelling was the only thing that felt right. She was our responsibility. She was Sam's friend. She was my… I don't even know. If I were being honest with myself I might have thought that I haven't been just her friend for a long while now. Since she turned 18. She turned 18 and Bobby nearly killed me for that glance I stole of her ass. She turned 18 and I was 30. God that was gross. I was gross. Bobby should have killed me for that.
Of course I thought of her that way sometimes. She was a chick and not horrible looking and funny and smart and she was… Lou. She would have been nice to have sex with. But I had a rule about virgins. I don't take that responsibility. Being a chick's first is too much. I wasn't going to hold that place in anyone's head.
Sam stepped forward. He moved so slowly as if I were some injured animal or some crap like that. "Dean, I found out where Crowley is holding her." I looked at him, like if he said the wrong thing I might actually tear his head from his shoulders. "I was late because I trapped a demon. I found out where she is being held but we have to go now Dean."
"What has that son of a bitch done to our girl?" Our girl. She has never belonged to anyone. She was Bobby's daughter and Sam's friend and my childhood annoyance. She was the one person in this world that Bobby asked us to look out for.
"Crowley wants to get her memories back so that he can find out where Kevin is." I sucked in a breath. Cas said that would drive her crazy. She's already been through enough. That much pain and loss and heartbreak, that would drive anyone to the break, but feeling it all at once. She didn't deserve that.
I didn't wait. I grabbed my jacket and headed towards Baby. I knew Sam would follow.
Lou's POV
I was naked and strapped to a table. Crowley wasn't there anymore and I wasn't quite sure where I was. There were windows that I couldn't see out of somewhere very high up. At this point, I couldn't even hear my own screams rip from my throat.
I was being carved into over and over again. There were screws in my head that were tightened. I was going to die. This was what death felt like. I passed out again.
I woke up to ice cold water hitting me. I was still strapped to the table. I was still being cut into. I was still naked. I still had screws sticking out of my head. "Do you remember anything?" The man in the doctor's coat asked. He was older, maybe late 40s. He had a kind face and wrinkled hands. But I knew there was nothing kind about him. He was a demon. His job was to jog the memories I kept buried deep because of a hellhound. He was cutting into me for fun. This was fun for him.
"Fuck you!" I spat at him. He laughed. "I don't remember anything." All the bite left me when I saw him pick up a wrench to move the screws further into my skull. "No please!" I wailed. "You can't do this! Please!"
Then he stopped. There was a crackling sound like electricity booming through the space. His mouth fell open and his head fell back and his eyes, his old tired eyes, lit up with orange sparks. There was a sound that was a mix between a crunch and a squish and I felt like vomiting right there. He slumped to the floor. He slumped to the floor dead. And Dean, he was standing in the place that the demon use to occupy, holding a knife with blood on it.
"I'm here," Dean breathed as though he hadn't just killed someone. As if there weren't a dead body at his feet.
"Is he dead?" I whispered, knowing the answer, needing to be wrong.
"Yes. I got him Sunshine. You don't have to worry about it anymore." I cried. I cried. Not from the pain from the slices maring my skin or the rods in my head. I cried from the pain in my chest.
"He was a person." If I had had the strength to yell I would have. "There was a person in there and you just killed him."
He looked at me like I was crazy and that's when I saw blood splatter on his face. "He was hurting you."
"I know." I sighed. I didn't know if this pain would ever go away. I wanted to say so much more but he wouldn't understand and it would just hurt him more. There was this look in his eyes that I had seen before. I didn't want him feeling that way again. "Just take me home," I whispered.
He just nodded. It was horrible. He draped his jacket over me while he slowly pulled the screws out of my head. I howled in pain. There was no stopping it. I wished I would pass out. I needed to pass out. I was aware that Sam had walked in saying something about more coming or more dead or more something more something more more it was hard to concentrate.
"I got you Lulu," a chipper voice from a forgotten past said into my ear. Then nothing. Just warm darkness covering me, drowning me, lifting me. I was gone.
Hi guys. So I had fun with this chapter but I think that this is the start of the story going in a direction that I wasn't aware it was going to be going in. Anyway I blame watching Doctor Who while writing for that. Reviews always make me happy to read so I would like to thank everyone who has written one. You never have to and I can not even begin to tell you how much it means to me that you do.
To all the people who have stuck with the story long enough to even get to this point... since I was little I wanted to be a writer and I manly only write for myself because it is embarrassing sharing it, but someone convinced me to put my work online so I did and the fact that anyone wants to read it still is amazing to me so from the bottom of my heart thank you.
Okay, I'm gonna go before I start crying or something equally no cool. Thanks to everyone.
