DISCLAIMER: I don't own any episode, or character. Brianna Forman is mine.

THE BASEMENT.

Eric, Donna, Jackie, Hyde, Kelso and Fez are playing cards. Laurie is sitting on the washing machine, reading the paper.

ERIC: The game is Anaconda. (He starts dealing.) Big Ace, Eight Ball, Red Lady, Jackson, High Brow, Wild Man…

LAURIE: Oh my god, Michael! (She gets off the washing machine.) They opened up a disco!

KELSO: Where at?

LAURIE: In Kenosha. You could wear your David Bowie butt huggers.

Laurie starts dancing around like a nut.

HYDE: Michael, that would be super!

KELSO: Laugh if you want, man, but my butt looks pretty good in those.

ERIC: Fine. Are you guys crazy? I mean, a disco? No way.

DONNA: I don't know, might be kinda fun to go dancing.

ERIC: Oh, we could go! And take Brianna with us. She doesn't like to be left out of things.

JACKIE: Sounds good.

KELSO: I got nothing, I fold.

HYDE: Oh, man, if you're out, go make some popcorn. (Kelso gets up and goes to the stairs. Laurie is still dancing) Take her with you.

Laurie and Kelso grin at each other then run upstairs.

FEZ: What is disco?

HYDE: Disco is from hell, ok? And not the cool part of hell with all the murderers, but the lame ass part where the really bad accountants live.

Donna checks out Kelso's cards.

ERIC: Excuse me, what are you doing?

DONNA: Looking at Kelso's cards.

ERIC: That's cheating!

LAURIE: (O.S. as she and Kelso are making out) Eric! I can't find the popcorn!

Eric jumps up at his big sister's voice and starts going, then comes back.

ERIC: Hey, um, Donna, why don't you take a little look at my cards, then you won't have to wait for me to leave. (Eric tries to show her his cards.) No, come on, take a look. Take a look, tell me what I have, you cheater!

He puts his card right in front of her. She looks.

DONNA: You got nothing!

ERIC: Yeah, and I'm gonna bluff, so watch out!

Eric runs upstairs.

FEZ: Donna has stuff for Eric, yes?

HYDE: Not stuff, thing. Donna has a thing for Eric. Why do you have a thing for Eric?

DONNA: He makes me laugh, he doesn't ask me stupid questions. He's smart, and, you know…

HYDE: No, I don't know.

FEZ: I know! (Fez raises his arm and Hyde points at him.) It is because Eric is noble, and a woman wants her first love making to be in the arms of a man she can trust!

DONNA: Fez?

FEZ: Yes.

DONNA: Go make popcorn.

He gets up.

OPENING CREDITS.

FORMAN KITCHEN

Eric, Red, Kitty, and Brianna are eating.

ERIC: Dad, I want to talk to you about my curfew on Saturday. We're going to a disco in Kenosha. Don't worry, you can come Brianna. (Brianna smiled at her big brother)

KITTY: Ooh, Dancing in Kenosha. That's quite a drive!

ERIC: Can Brianna and I push our curfew to two?

KITTY: Mmm…

ERIC: Or one thirty?

KITTY: Mmm…

ERIC: Or one?

KITTY: Done.

BRIANNA: Yay. Thanks Mommy!

Their parents smile at their little girl.

RED: So! Who's going?

KITTY: Oh, Donna, I'm sure, they're practically dating.

ERIC: Can I have some gas money?

RED: Dating? Since when?

ERIC: Mom, we're not dating. Laurie and Kelso are but not us.

KITTY: Why not? She likes you.

ERIC: Thanks mom. About that gas money…

KITTY: Well, now, she is interested, I can tell! And dancing is the quickest way to a gal's heart! Remember, Red, when we used to go dancing at the Avalon on Macana Island?

ERIC: Oh, Macana! Now that's quite a drive! I bet the mileage is just…

Eric gestures with his hands.

Kitty starts singing.

KITTY: Oh, oh! Volare! Oh! Cantare! Oh, oh!

Kitty gets up and starts dancing. Red looks pissed and turns to Eric.

RED: You see what you did? You got your mother started!

FORMAN GARAGE.

HYDE: Man, I can't believe you and Laurie are dragging everybody to that disco. It's so sad.

KELSO: No, we're just going to have sex. I love her so much.

FEZ: Oh, tell me about it! Because I love learning the details!

ERIC: Ok, that's all the deposit bottles and the aluminum cans. We gotta have at least…a dollar fifteen worth of gas.

KELSO: Come on. My dad's got a ton of empties.

Eric, Kelso and Fez get out.

HYDE: Man, I can't believe they're gonna waste all their money on a stupid disco when they could buy a really big bag… (He pauses before continuing.) Of caramels!

Hyde is about to leave.

RED: Not going to that disco, huh?

HYDE: No. Phony people listening to crappy music does not sound like my kinda time.

RED: You can't dance, can you?

HYDE: I can dance.

RED: Oh, I don't think so, pal.

HYDE: I can dance.

RED: Not one step.

HYDE: You're right, not one step.

RED: Well, then you got a problem, son. 'cause women wanna dance. They always wanna dance. Always.

HYDE: Why?

RED: 'Cause. They get close and wiggle their bodies around in front of a man in a safe atmosphere.

HYDE: See, I don't really wanna wiggle around in public.

RED: Well, of course not. You're a man. My point is, you're going to have to learn. Otherwise later on in life, you're gonna be wiggling all by yourself. Now if you want, I can help you out.

FORMAN LIVING ROOM.

Kitty and Hyde are dancing, as Brianna is on the couch playing with her dolls.

KITTY: OK, now, that was good, ok, let's try it again. OK? Now. (They dance.) Left, right, left, turn and step. Ok.

Hyde dances like a robot. He's really stiff.

HYDE: I can't keep up with music, Mrs. Forman.

KITTY: Now, lets not get discouraged! I am just gonna turn this music off! (She turns of the record player.) Now! You follow me. Ok. You can do this. Ok. Left, right, left, turn and step! (Hyde steps on her foot.) Ooh…oh crap! No! No! Look at me, not at your feet. Ok, you know what, now, now, put your arm around me. Yeah, a little bit lower, put your hand in the small of my back. You feel how you can guide me?

HYDE: Oh! Yeah…

Kitty: Ok, ok. Left, r…you're leading! Ok, now. Tell me where to move with your hand. Uh-huh. Left, right, left, turn, uh-huh, ok, eye contact in the turn, ok, ok, and dip! (Hyde doesn't support her and she falls down. Brianna giggles) Ok, well now let's just do it again.

Camera pans to Bob walking into the Forman kitchen with a thermos.

BOB: Hello! Anybody home? I'm bringing back Brianna's thermos!

Bob cracks the living room door open and finds Hyde and Kitty in each other's arms while Brianna is playing with her dolls and watching them.

KITTY: Ouh, put your hand there. Oh, that is perfect! You are better than Red!

Bob freaks out, running outside and hides behind the driveway door. HYDE and KITTY come in the kitchen.

KITTY: Oh, I am exhausted! That is sweaty work!

HYDE: Mrs. Forman, I'd really appreciate it if maybe we didn't tell anybody what we were doing here.

KITTY: Oh, mum is the word! Tomorrow after school, okay?

HYDE: Thanks.

KITTY: And Steven? You were good.

Bob is shocked.

THE BASEMENT aka THE CIRCLE.

HYDE: Ok, I thought about it. And I'm going to the disco! Just on the off chance that they might mix up a little rock 'n roll, man.

KELSO: Yeah? Well, I have something to say. I went to the mall today, and I bought a…pair of new shoes, and they're the coolest kicks in the cave! Laurie was so happy when she saw them that we did it five times then five more times after that. Boo-yah. (Grinning) I did it with your big sister ten times today, Eric!

ERIC: Shut up! So, no more for Kelso, he's toasted!

FEZ: I would like some toast if you are making some. Or food of any kind would be good. I am starving!

HYDE: Oh, I read somewhere there are these people in India who fast, man! Yeah! And their minds are so advanced, they could actually think themselves to death, man!

KELSO: Whoa. I hope I'm not doing that right now. My mind's always doing things that I don't even know about!

ERIC: Man, we always think of so many brilliant things down here, but then later I can't remember any of them! I mean, they're brilliant man!

FEZ: Someone go make toast right now.

HYDE: Hey, we should record our conversation, man! Yeah! Then we could play it back and write it down! I'll bet that's how the writers at National Lampoon do it!

KELSO: Yeah, well, I read somewhere that there's these people in France!

HYDE: What do they do?

KELSO: You see, they are incredibly…French!

ERIC: See, that's brilliant, man! I'm getting the tape recorder!

He moves to the stairs.

FEZ: Where's my toast, you dumbasses?

THE FORMAN KITCHEN.

Eric has the tape recorder and is getting the bread for the toasts.

RED: Eric?!

ERIC Yeah, dad?

Eric turns around, faces Red and sees that the wallpaper is going up and down.

RED: Listen, I know you need gas money for Saturday night, so if you're willing to do a few extra chores, I'll uh, pay you ten dollars.

Eric blinks as if to make the effect go away, but the wallpaper is still crawling.

ERIC: Sure I can do that.

RED: Now, I need you to sweep the garage, clean the leaves out of the gutters, pick up the dry cleaning, and uh, fix that shelf in the pantry. Now, run that back to me.

ERIC: Oh,' kay, fix the shelf, sweep the garage, pick up the leaves…

RED: (interrupting) Dry cleaning.

ERIC: Yeah.

RED: The gutters.

ERIC: Fix the gutters.

RED: Clean, clean the gutters.

ERIC: Clean out the gutters, fix the shelf, sweep the leaves.

RED: The garage.

ERIC: Fix the garage.

RED: Sweep it.

ERIC: Sweep.

RED: (Annoyed) Listen, I'm not gonna pay you ten dollars for nothing!

ERIC: Sweep the garage, pick up the cleaning, clean up the gutters, fix the shelf.

RED: Do that, and you've got yourself gas money.

ERIC; Didn't you say something about leaves?

RED: They're in the gutters.

ERIC: Right. Pick 'em up. Clean 'em up! I…gotta make toast.

FORMAN LIVING ROOM.

Hyde and Kitty are dancing in the living room to various music, swing, mambo, rhumba. Brianna is coloring.

PINCIOTTI BACK DOOR.

Midge and Bob are spying on Kitty, Hyde, and Brianna.

BOB: "Aw, jeez, Midge. Kitty and that boy are at it again."

They close the blinds. Bob opens them again, stares for a while with a pondering look on his face, then closes them.

FORMAN DRIVEWAY.

Kitty and Midge are with the kids. Kitty is taking pictures.

ERIC: You smell great. What'd you do?

DONNA: I took a bath. I was thinking of you the whole time.

ERIC: Yeah, you know I do the same thing in the shower.

DONNA: What?

ERIC: Nothing.

Kelso goes up to his girifriend.

KELSO: Wow, you look amazing!

LAURIE: Thanks. You are rockin' those butt huggers.

He kisses her.

KITTY: Oh, let's take some pictures! I'm ready, Steven get in closer. Ok, let's all schmoosh together! Ok, big smiles! Nice (She takes the first picture and Kelso is trying to show off his butt huggers.) Ok, now, girls, look how pretty, smile, nice! (She takes another picture with just Donna, Brianna, and Jackie.)

KITTY: Now boys, oh, so handsome! (She takes another picture in which Kelso shows off his butt huggers again. Ok, now lets…)

She starts snapping lots of pictures of Brianna. The little girl becomes embarrassed at her mother.

BRIANNA: Mommy!

KITTY: Sorry. My sweet little baby girl is going to her first Disco. I'm so proud of you.

ERIC: Hey, mom, why don't I take a picture of you?

KITTY: No, no, no, no. Ok, you'll be late, bye now!

The gang starts getting in the car, with Midge talking to Donna. Hyde comes over and kisses Kitty on the cheek. Brianna does the same.

HYDE: You're the best

KITTY: Oh, you go get 'em, Tiger.

BRIANNA: Bye Mommy!

She gives her mother a big hug then gives Midge one too. They leave.

MIDGE; She's so adorable and sweet. You and Red are so lucky!

KITTY: I know!

They start walking into the house.

FORMAN KITCHEN.

MIDGE: Kitty, I need your advice.

KITTY: Well, sure, what is it?

MIDGE: I have this married friend. And she's about to throw everything away because she's attracted to a much younger man.

KITTY: It's Stella?!

MIDGE: No!

KITTY: Oh, I knew that Stella was open for business!

MIDGE: It's not Stella!

KITTY: Well, do I know her?

MIDGE: Yes, very well.

KITTY: Oh, Midge! Does Bob know?

MIDGE: Yeah, and he doesn't know what to do! Kitty, I don't know what to do!

KITTY: Midge, listen. I think your friend should think about all of the people she's gonna hurt. And tell this younger man whoever he is, I don't wanna know, that it has to stop.

MIDGE: Thank you. I just hope my friend takes your advice.

KITTY: I'm sure your friend will.

KITTY and MIDGE, thinking: Hmm. Younger man. Wonder what that's like.

THE DISCO.

Kelso is dancing around on "Dancing", making a fool of himself. Kelso looks around, realizes he's alone, and runs to the table where the rest of the gang is sitting.

KELSO: Laurie, where'd you go?

LAURIE: I had to get something for you to bite on, cause I told everyone you were having a seizure!

KELSO: I love you.

LAURIE: I love you too.

They grin at each other and look for an empty room to do it. Camera switches to everyone else.

FEZ: When do they play the disco music?

DONNA: This is disco music.

FEZ: No, no. This is samba.

HYDE: Fez, it's disco, man. It's crap!

FEZ: Whoa, I think I like this crap! (He stands up.) Come, Jackie! Let's get down!

JACKIE: No, I think I'm a little tired.

She looks away, but Fez turns her head back toward him with his hand.

FEZ: Don't resist me mama. It's boogie time!

He pulls Jackie out of her chair and onto the dance floor.

DONNA: I think you just lost your date!

HYDE: Yeah, well it's cool 'cause Jackie and I will never be together!

Fez and Jackie dance.

ERIC: She must not weigh that much.

They continue dancing, and Jackie puts her leg around Fez in a final step, Fez pulls her back to the table.

DONNA: Is she touching his ass?

The song changes to "Fernando".

FEZ: Listen, Merengue!

JACKIE: Whoo! Fez, you're crazy!

ERIC: Wow, they are really good!

BRIANNA: Yeah, if you wanna dance that way!

Eric smiles at his baby sister. She's so adorable and funny.

DONNA: I would love to dance that way!

HYDE: You wanna dance?

DONNA: Sure!

They get up and start dancing.

DONNA: You dance. This is a side of you I've never seen.

HYDE: Yeah. Actually, you're my first dance.

DONNA: I'm your first? I'm honored.

HYDE: This is nice.

DONNA: Mmm-hmm.

Donna dips. They look at each other in the eyes.

HYDE: Donna, man, I feel like I wanna kiss you. (They come back to a normal position) You don't have to kiss me back if you don't want. (Donna laughs.) I'm not kidding.

DONNA: Shut up and dance.

Screen blacks.

TIME LAPSE.

Brianna suddenly gets in the middle of the dance floor and starts dancing. It's cute and funny. She's trying to imitate the older kids. The older kids stop to watch. They cheer her on as this little girl kicks ass on the dance floor.

RANDOM GIRL: YOU GO, GIRL!

RANDOM GIRL 2: She's so cute!

Eric's group watches in surprise. They cannot believe how good she is. Even worse is that she's better than Kelso who Laurie said looked like he was having a seizure. Everyone are completely jealous.

JACKIE: She's stealing the show.

DONNA: She's so awesome.

Brianna completes the dance and everyone cheers. Older kids huddle around her like a rock star.

RANDOM GUY: (to Eric) FORMAN, YOUR LITTLE SISTER IS AWESOME!

Laurie is super surprised that her baby sister can dance like that.

LAURIE: (to Kelso) Why can't we dance like that? My little sister can dance but I can't!

JACKIE: She's stealing my spotlight!

Jackie, who likes to be the center of attention, has just been outdone by a little girl. Brianna finishes dancing and Eric hugs his baby sister.

ERIC: You did awesome. I'm so proud of you!

BRIANNA: Thanks big bro. Can you get me a pretzel and a Pepsi, please?

ERIC: Anything for my baby sister. Dancer.

They hug and smile, walking to the snack bar together.

DONNA: She's so amazing.

JACKIE: She stole my spotlight!

HYDE; Jackie, she's just a little girl! (Smirks) A dancing little girl.

Screen fades.

FORMAN KITCHEN.

Eric and Brianna enter to find Red at the table in his robe. He's reading the newspaper and drinking hot milk.

RED: Hey, kids. How was the Disco?

BRIANNA: It was amazing!

ERIC: She can dance. She was making people jealous on the dance floor. Because she can dance so awesome.

Red's in awe. His six year-old daughter is such a dancer and it was her first time.

RED: That's my girl!

He holds his arms out for the both of them. The three hug. He gives a 20$ bill to his two youngest.

ERIC: Ooh gas money. Thanks dad!

BRIANNA: Thank you daddy!

She gives her father a kiss and goes upstairs. Eric sits across from his dad.

RED: I don't say it enough, but I'm proud of you and your sisters. We raised you three so well. I love you.

ERIC: Woah...thanks Dad!

They hug.

ERIC: I'm going to sleep. Good night dad.

RED: Good night Son.

He watches as his son goes up the stairs. Screen fades.

FORMAN DRIVEWAY.

It's the next day. The kids are at school. Red is working on the car. Bob walks up tensely.

BOB: Ah-hem.

RED: Ok, Bob. What is it?

BOB: Oh, just uh, curious. What's the word on that Hyde kid?

RED: Steven? Oh, he's a little rebellious. Just needs some direction.

BOB: Apparently, he's getting it, Red. I uh, I kinda walked into your living room and, he and Kitty were in, some sort of, provocative embrace. I think he's puttin' the moves on your wife.

RED: Oh, my god. Now I've gotta kill him. Get your deer rifle, Bob.

BOB: Hold on, Red, I, I, I, I could've been mistaken!

RED: You know what you saw! Get the damn gun.

BOB: Maybe she was, uh, choking, on, you know, on some food or something.

RED: I can't take that chance. What choice do I have as a man?

BOB: Come on, Red. Uh, they could've been dancing! Jeez, I'm sure she was teaching him dancing, 'cause they're all going to that disco! Oh.

Bob pats Red on the chest.

RED: Dancing, huh?

BOB: Yeah.

RED: Jeez, Bob. That would be downright logical. Good thing I didn't shoot him.

Red looks at Bob who realizes that Red knows all about it.

FORMAN DRIVEWAY.

Hyde and Fez are sitting on the hood of the parked Vista Cruiser.

FEZ: Hyde, you were right about disco music. It is evil. It's pulsing rythm made me do a bad thing.

HYDE: Yeah, well, me too.

FEZ: You are my friend, I cannot take your crush.

HYDE: You're a good guy, Fez.

FEZ Actually, I could take your crush, but I won't.

Hyde laughs.

HYDE: Come on, I'll walk you home.

Eric and Donna come out.

HYDE: See you guys.

DONNA: See you.

ERIC: Goodnight. (Hyde and Fez leave) Hey, uh, Hyde dancing, what a surprise!

DONNA: Yeah! Who knew?

ERIC: Yeah. You looked like you were having a pretty good time.

DONNA: Yeah, well, you know, disco fever. You catch it. But I'm better now.

ERIC: Wow. What a, what a weird night. Hey, did you see Kelso's shoes?

DONNA: Yeah. Remember when he saw that girl wearing the same shoes?

ERIC: Oh, yes! That was, actually, it was pretty sad.

DONNA: Yeah, it was.

ERIC: Hey, um…do you recall that night we crossed the Rio Grande?

DONNA: What?

ERIC: I can see it in your eyes.

DONNA: What are you talking about?

ERIC: How proud you would've fought for freedom in this land…

Eric starts singing.

DONNA: Shut up, don't! Don't! Don't, shhh!

ERIC: There was something in the air that night! The stars were bright. (Donna covers his mouth with her hand.) Fernando! They were… (Eric stops singing and Donna takes her hand off his mouth) I'm sorry. I hate dance music.

DONNA: Then, why'd you go?

ERIC: I like you.

DONNA: So…you're in like with me?

ERIC: Donna, I'm… I'm in…

(He leans over and kisses her. They look at each other) I can't dance.

DONNA: You'll learn. (Donna starts singing) There was something in the air that night! The stars were bright…

ERIC: Donna, I really wanna kiss you again.

DONNA: Fernando! Shut up and dance! They were shining there for you and me and liberty…

Eric joins her and they start dancing and singing.

DONNA AND ERIC: Fernando! Though I never thought that we could lose, There's no regret, If I had to do the same again…

Eric and Donna's singing fades and is replaced by Abba.

ABBA: "I would, my friend, Fernando!

Screen blacks.

LAURIE'S BEDROOM.

The screen opens back up.

KELSO: You are so amazing. I love you so much. You make me so happy.

LAURIE: I love you too.

They start to make out and undress each other. Screen blacks.

TAG. THE BASEMENT.

Screen opens back up to the guys in the basement. Brianna is eating a bowl of popcorn.

HYDE: I wanna know why you look so proud.

KELSO: (Grinning) Me and Laurie just did it again!

ERIC: (Grossed out) That's my big sister!

Fez holds the tape recorder and we hear the tape.

HYDE: We're all on a farm…a farm put here by aliens man! And we're the cattle!

KELSO: We're cattle! Moo!

HYDE: The government knows it, it's out there, man!

KELSO: What is?

HYDE: The truth.

KELSO: What are you saying?

HYDE: Out there is the truth! The truth is out there, man!

ERIC: That's seriously freaky!

Fez pushed stop, stopping the tape.

FEZ: See, you are all stupid!

Screen fades.

THE END.

Authors Note: Review please. Pretty pretty please.