Bonds
by Impervious Marr
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Summary: Con artists working to their last nerves, Grimmjow and Ichigo face trials and tribulations in the form of sexy rivals and balding old men - all of that without being caught. This is the story of their improbable friendship. GrimmUlqui, AizenIchi. AU.
Warnings: Future MxM, mentions of MxM, violence, swearing, crack and stupid not-really-there humor.
A/N: Thank you for the encouraging reviews! :D I'm taking up review replying as my part time job now :3
Review Response:
tokyo majin: Ahahaaa, thank you! xD;
ceres: XD LOL. I know. ;3
foxfeather1337: Ahahaha, thanks! Enjoy this chapter, please! :3
Stoic-Genius: Probably the word agenda. Ulquiorra's a prim and proper, orderly kind of dude. xD; Thank you!
VietShinigami: I know, I feel guilty for not updating for too long xD;
Teslyn: Yes, for the win! Thank you, and you're welcome :3
Fierygirl0: Ahahaha, next chapter is here!
demon ragdoll: Hehe, thank you! I had that same dream, it was creepy. o.o
kisalamode: Well, here's the update! I hope you enjoy. ;x;
Germanbubbles: I love your penname ;x; I don't know. XD And thank you!
Enjoy! :D Read and review, please!
MAJOR FLUFF AND WTFNESS TO COME. D:
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7
The Meaning of Omg
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"Ichigooooooo," Grimmjow whined, and here it goes again. "My jaw hurrrrrrts."
"Then stop talking," Ichigo snapped irritably, jamming the cap on his head lower as he flipped the pancakes. Grimmjow has been going on and on and on about this green-eyed dude who's stalking him and all, and it's not really making Ichigo any happier.And in the end he gets majorly beaten up. Not his fault, now is it? "It's your fault for picking a fight in the first place."
"But he called me Jagarjaaaaaaak."
Ichigo gave him a 'You Are Stupid' look. Grimmjow sniffed again, before turning around, expression wiped of any misery.
"Man, you need to seriously chill. Wasn't it enough I actually lent you my fucking phone?"
"Exactly, Grimm. It's a fucking phone. You don't have to be such a baby about it," Ichigo deadpanned, taking out a plate from the shelf and busy arranging said pancakes to perfection. "Now just up and eat."
"Whatever. Not my fault that a certain somebody lost their phone while being molested."
"It's not molesting!" Ichigo snapped embarassedly, the word at the end going extremely high-pitched as he turned into thirty different shades of red. Grimmjow grinned. "Can you talk about something else!"
"Oh, right, you let him. I forgot -"
"Grimmjow Jeagerjacques!"
"Heh." Grimmjow grinned cheekily. "You're so wanting to get laid, man. By the way..." He looked up at the clock, and blinked. "You're late for class."
"SHIT!"
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Grimmjow wiggled his toes in the water. It wasn't often he went to the local pool, because he didn't really like being wet all the time, but sometimes he needed it just to think. Now he was on a float, idly wading around the pool in his dark blue swimming shorts, unwilling to submerge fully.
Because his jaw still seriously hurt. Luckily there was only him around at the hour - he didn't really want to see anyone at the moment who could make fun of him because of that.
Stupid Ulqui. He scowled just thinking about it. Seriously, shit like this just doesn't happen in the movies.
Welcome to reality, daydreamer.You hit on him, what was he supposed to think?
That was a joke, I wasn't flirting with him!
Or were you? His mind taunted mercilessly, and Grimmjow scowled some more.
I wasn't!
"You look like a sulking child."
"I am not -" Grimmjow started to snap, before he whipped his head around and growled. "What the hell are you doing here?! Go away!"
"That proves it. And this is a public area." Ulquiorra stepped into the pool side nonchalantly, placing his duffle bag down at a nearby table. He was wearing swimming shorts - dark green, he noticed, and Grimmjow snorted - and a baggy T-shirt, with flip-flops. He sorely resisted the urge to drool, because this was Ulquiorra, for god's sake, and -
Oh, shit, he was turning around. Oh shit, he was taking his shirt off. Grimm couldn't help but stare.
He has a cute ass...
"But seriously, what the hell are you doing here?"
"I always go here, I should be asking you that question," Ulquiorra said defiantly, giving him a funny look and raising an eyebrow. Well, given that Grimmjow doesn't usually visit the pool often, it was only logical. "Decided to drown yourself in your misery of losing?"
"Shut the fuck up," Grimmjow snarled, pushing his shades down as he rested on the float, head hitting rubber as he floated idly around the water. He heard a sudden splash and decided that Ulqui was already in the pool.
There was an odd sort of silence as Ulqui did his laps and Grimmjow merely floated around aimlessly.
Ulquiorra then surfaced right in between Grimmjow's feet and propped his hands up on the float, raising an eyebrow. "Not gonna swim?"
"What the fuck!" Grimmjow instinctively kicked, eye twitching. Ulquiorra stopped it with a hand, expression unchanging and Grimmjow sighed. "Okay, no, I'm not in the mood for anything. Seriously, just say that you're a stalker and everything will make sense on why we keep on meeting each other like this."
"I am not a stalker."
"That's exactly my point! I don't believe in bullshit like coincidence," Grimmjow retorted, although lazily and without heat. Then he went back to his dozing.
The bruise was highly obvious against the skin of his face and Ulquiorra couldn't help but stare. Grimmjow, on the other hand, who expected something from the man, blinked at the sudden silence, and opened his eyes, finding creepy green eyes staring at him. He stared back warily.
"... What?"
"Does it hurt?"
Grimmjow snorted. "Of course it fucking hurts, you dumbass. That was a stupid question."
"Sorry," Ulquiorra said, but it was unbelievably insincere. "Well..."
"If you're picking another fight with me, forget it."
"I'm not in the mood for any fighting either." Ulquiorra looked at him solemnly. "But I find you interesting. Can we meet up once; normally?"
...
...
No effin' way.
Grimmjow stared. "Are you asking me out?"
"What's that?" he asked blankly. Grimmjow didn't know whether to smack his forehead or laugh like an idiot.
He settled for chuckling and shaking his head. "Dude. You're so fucking oblivious - seriously. What I meant was that you're like asking me out on a freaking date."
"But - that -" Ulquiorra sputtered, turning a light shade of pink. "Wasn't."
"Awww," Grimmjow said sarcastically, before grinning. "If you said it like that earlier, I wouldn't have minded."
"... Okay," Ulquiorra said uncertainly, taking it as the end of that discussion.
And somehow, somewhere in the depths of their minds, they somehow found good in each other and decided that it was awesome. Especially Ulquiorra's mind (also known as the Evil Spawn).
Awwww, you two are having a decent conversation with each otherrrrr.
... Silence, self.
You even asked him out on a daaaaate. That's so fucking cuutteeeeeeee.
Grimmjow gave him a funny look when Ulquiorra twitched his eyes as if in serious thought.
"Right. So, got any places you wanna go?"
Ulquiorra blinked. "I... Didn't really think that far," he admitted, looking to the side, up, and everywhere but Grimmjow. The blue-haired man scoffed.
"That's why I was asking. I'm sorry to say this, but you don't seem like the type to go around and enjoy life often," Grimmjow stated honestly, and Ulquiorra shrugged. "No offense."
"None taken. I do realize. Anywhere would be nice..."
"... Oh my god. Nevermind, let me decide. How 'bout something to eat?"
"When?"
"After swimming."
"Is that why you look constipated? Because you're hungry?" Ulquiorra asked curiously, shifting his weight.
Grimmjow gave him another funny look.
"Er, no. I'm still pissed off at the bruise you gave me."
"You're angry at me?"
"More like myself. It's been years since someone hit me on the face."
"Grimmjow has depth. I've never known," Ulquiorra deadpanned, and Grimmjow snorted.
"To be an aspiring psychologist," Grimmjow stated in a scholarly-like way, clearing his throat and chaning his accent completely, "You must have depth. This is to assure your patients that they will never be as fucked up as you are, thus giving them a false sense of security that they aren't really as insane as they think -"
Ulquiorra splashed him with water.
"- what the hell!" Grimmjow coughed noisily, then glared.
"You were talking too much. Wait, no - pfft!" Ulquiorra sputtered, wiping the water off his face. Grimmjow grinned.
It turned out into an all war. Water flew everywhere as they ducked and threw violently, splashing the whole place wet. Grimmjow tried to retreat to his float but failed miserably when Ulquiorra grabbed him.
"You're - not - getting - away -"
"Oh yes I'm fucking am!" Grimmjow shouted, pulling with all of his might. Ulquiorra was dragged along too, and they ended up in a strange, compromising position. Both of them blushed and tried to get off, but Grimmjow decided to be stupid.
He grinned down at Ulquiorra, who was in between his legs.
It turned suggestive. "You know, since you're that close to my dick anyway, maybe you could do me a favor and -"
"Don't. Even. Think about it."
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Aizen was busy looking at his hair (Aizen Sousuke was a narcissist. It was bound to be.) when the phone rang merrily.
It wasn't his.
He shrugged and answered it. He didn't even get a chance to say hello before a string of unintelligible words came out (he could only catch 'fuck this shit') and a male voice spoke up. He didn't sound very happy.
"What the fuck, Ichi!? Didn't I send you an e-mail that you were supposed to pick me up from the airport a fucking hour ago!?"
Aizen blinked at the wall opposite him, holding the phone far, far away from his ear as the man continued shouting in the phone.
"And now I'm stuck here and everybody's staring and you know how much I hate -"
"Ichigo's not here at the moment," Aizen drawled lazily, picking up the comb and styling his hair.
"... Wait. Then who the fuck are you!?"
Amused, he decided to be an asshole about it. "Just some guy."
"'Just some guy'!? Fuck that bullshit! If you've done somethin' to Ichi I swear I'mma hunt you down, you fucking sicko! Now what'd you do to -"
Aizen immediately flipped it off, sighing. He shook his head slightly and whistled as he touched up his hair to perfection.
"Kids these days..."
He looked up to his clock, and smirked.
"My time to shine."
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"Yo, Ichi," Renji hollered, slinging an arm across Ichigo's shoulders. "Guess what I heard?"
"Don't wanna hear it."
"Come onnnn!"
"Don't wanna hear it."
"It's gonna be goooood."
"Don't wanna hear it."
"Mayuri secretly takes photos of you in the men's room."
"Like for the last time, I don't wanna - what the fuck!?"
"HAH! Gotcha!" Renji snorted, shaking his head. Ichigo resisted the urge to smack the man. "Anyway, word from the street was that you've got yourself a new boyfriend. So. Is he hot?"
"You've already got one, Pineapple," Ichigo said warily, looking for a nearby distraction. He is not hearing this.
"You aren't denying it, then?"
"We're not boyfriends, you dumbass."
Renji whistled. "So there is someone! Didn't think you were the type to do one-night stands, Ichi, I mean seriously -"
"I have a metal pipe in my bag, you know," Ichigo said airily, grinning disarmingly. "In the time it takes for you to scream for someone to save that puny ass of yours, I can already gut half of your insides and stretch them everywhere. Stuffing them into that big fat mouth of yours would be a good start. Don't you think so, Abarai Renji?"
Renji wisely took the threat to heart, backing away with two hands on his front. "Ok, ok. It's just, you know, surprising. You've never really, you know. Got interested or anything."
"Whatever," Ichigo mumbled, blinking at the scene ahead of him. A group of people were crowded around the center court. Last time he checked, there really wasn't anything going on at the moment, so they shouldn't have random meetings like that, unless they were in a cult.
Which was, sadly to say, highly likely. His college was just weird like that.
The crowd then squealed and freaking massed together, parting to make way for the source of it all - a guy, and not just any guy.
Ichigo stared.
No fucking way.
"What the hell!?" he squawked, eye twitching. Aizen grinned at him charmingly and he stared and it was all Ichigo could do to avoid melting on the spot. "What - what - wuh -"
"Ichigo," Aizen greeted brightly, smiling a smile that was eligible to make even Renji, who was beside him, flush. Everybody else just squealed like fanatics at the fanservice. Ichigo wasn't any better.
He sputtered and looked around for any help, but there was none. He quickly tugged Aizen to walk away, the the crowd actually... Followed.
"What are you doing here!?" Ichigo whispered harshly, looking back at the gathering fans (mostly made up of women, who had hearts in their eyes) and shuddering. He scowled up at Aizen. "You're not supposed to be here!"
"Why ever not?" Aizen asked smoothly, still smiling charmingly, while he was chuckling evilly inside. It was just too fun to mess around with Ichigo's head and making him look confused.
"Because - because - Just because! Everybody will jump at you!"
"Thank you for the compliment, but you didn't to make it so indirect."
Ichigo blinked, before blushing. "Oh." He shook his head. "That's not the point!" he complained, hissing.
"Thanks for your concern as well, but I'll be fine on my own. And I wanted to see you anyway."
Ichigo couldn't say anything to that. He simply made a faint sound at the back of his throat, staring, uncomprehending, before Aizen dangled something in front of his face. He blinked at the lump wrapped in an unassuming brown paper.
"What's that?"
"A present."
"What is it?" Ichigo asked, grasping the parcel. Aizen sighed, rolling his eyes.
"That's the point of a present, Ichigo. It's supposed to be a surprise. And, you're gonna have to open that later, not here."
"Um. Right." Ichigo shook it around, and after hearing no sounds, he wanted to whine. "Hiroshiii."
"Ichigooo." Aizen winked, and looked surprised as he suddenly remembered something. Ichigo was too busy trying to prevent from drooling. "By the way, this person... What was he nicknamed? Shiro? Called earlier." His grin was lopsided as he dangled the red phone in front of Ichigo. The orange-haired male greedily snatched it up.
Then blinked.
And screeched loudly.
"SHIRO!? Shit why didn't you tell me earlier oh my god! What the hell did he say! No, better question - what the hell did you say to him!?" Ichigo shouted, eyes going wide as he panicked and hit the Call button. "Pick up Shiro pick up pick up!"
Aizen simply looked amused.
"Hello? Oh shit -"
He almost laughed at the way Ichigo held the phone at an arm's length, and he could very obviously pick out some of the swear words coming out from this 'Shiro' as he ranted, well, probably about Aizen himself. It was only after the volume was decreased significantly that he even bothered to place the phone close to him.
"Well, I'm sorry!" Ichigo whined, and Aizen's eyebrows shot up at the way his tone went all like that. Interesting. "But... He... Um. Stole the phone from me."
He winced as another barrage of insults made their way to his ears, and this time Aizen really did chuckle out loud. Ichigo shot him a wounded look, and turned back to the conversation when Aizen didn't let up - scowling. "Well, he gave it back to me, of course!" His eyes widened and he shuffled his feet, scratching his cheek sheepishly as if this mysterious Shiro was right in the same room. Aizen grinned slightly at the quirk. "Um... Yeah, I know him, he's a. Friend."
Aizen snorted. Well, more like scoffed, because Aizen didn't really snort.
"Sort of!" Ichigo added hastily, then his eyes widened again as he checked his watch, blinking. "I know I was supposed to pick you up. But you told me it was on the 12th - today's the 11th."
...
...
There was a long bout of silence. Aizen muffled his laughter.
Ichigo snorted incredulously into the phone, rolling his eyes. "Dude, you just suck majorly at reading timezones, man. Just stay in the chocolate store or something, and I'll meet you there in about fifteen minutes. Okay?" he asked amiably, with a little frustrated affection in it, then smiled softly.
Aizen stared at that.
And he badly wished he had a camera at that moment; but instead he had to settle with burning it into his memory.
"Right. Mhmm. Okay. I love you too. Yeah, yeah, I already said I love you, you dork, bye," Ichigo said, then ended the call, stretching his limbs. "Now, once that's done and over with..." He blinked at Aizen's staring.
The silence made him gradually turn redder.
"... What?" he asked in the end, voice small.
"You're cute when you smile like that," Aizen said bluntly, and Ichigo sputtered, not knowing where to put his hands as they flailed around. He settled with putting his hands in front of himself mimicking 'oh the agonyyy'.
"Don't say things like that! In public! It's embarassing!"
"So we just need to be alone together and you'll accept compliments?" Aizen echoed, translating it in his own words, before grinning. "Alright. Sounds logical enough."
"That's not what I meant!"
"But you said yourself, don't do that in public."
"I just - don't want anybody else to hear them that'sall," Ichigo mumbled, pushing his hands together. Aizen couldn't help but smile, then guide Ichigo away by putting a hand on one arm and pushing him towards his car.
"Sorry to say, but I don't really do assurances, I tell it as it is. So when I say you're cute, I mean it."
"How can you say that with a straight face!? And where are we going?"
"It takes years of practice. And we're going to the airport to pick up this 'Shiro' of yours."
"Wait wait waitwaitwait NO," Ichigo said immediately, in a rare show of refusal, turning around and narrowing his eyes. "He'll get jealous."
Aizen raised an eyebrow in question. "And I should be afraid because...?"
"No, I mean it. You can't come. Thanks for the offer, but I really don't think that Shiro would take it well. I mean, we've always been, um. Well I can't really tell you now, but Shiro's. Er. Special. He's -"
Aizen swiftly kissed Ichigo's lips, which immediately slacked at the contact, thus stopping his rant. He immediately melted, brain going to an overdrive; his cheeks burned, his eyes wanted to roll to the back of his head, and he felt as if he could die. In a good way. Like he was going to heaven or some metaphorical shit like that.
OH MY GOD.
OH MY GODOMGOMGOMGOMG.
...
That's so not fair. He cheated.
...
...
Guh.
"You talk too much," he murmured, then pulled the dazed Ichigo away, who blinked, then smiled goofily.
"Um."
"I'm going to meet this Shiro of yours and you're not going to do anything about it."
"'Kay."
"So just shut up and strap yourself into the car."
"... Guh."
As Aizen led him away, the crowd that was keeping silent since the beginning of the whole drama suddenly squealed loudly. It was like the sound of angry bees swarming, only that these were fangirls (and the few fanboys, of course).
So it was more like happy bees.
...
...
You get the meaning.
"OH MY GOD!"
"That was sooooooooo CUTE!"
"OMG, omg omg omg."
"AHHH! I love them already!"
"MY NEW OTP, HANDS DOWN!"
Renji was jolted from his silent staring from the squeals, before he chuckled. "You're one of a kind, Ichigo... Shit." He blinked.
"Midget and Princess are not gonna like this."
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Chapter Seven End.
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A/N: XD Ahahahahaa, I think I'm on crack.
Well, have a nice day! :D
