Chapter 7:

I wake up and stretch my limbs. "So. How did everyone sleep?" Artie groans and looks at me. "Terribly. I never realized how comfy the school beds were until now."

I laugh quietly and smile. He mimics me and everyone else wakes up. But then I hear something. Like the sound of trees bending or breaking. "Guys do you hear that?"

Then all Hell breaks loose. The evil trees rush us from the sides and pirates come at us. Hook is at his piano. "Kill them all, except the fat one...and the girl. King Charming has special plans for you two."

"King Charming?" Shrek asks. He glares at me. "Like I said, I cannot reveal important information." The pirates and trees surround us, preparing to put me and Shrek into nets and to slit the other's throats.

"Fellas, I would advise you not to take me on." I tell them. One of the pirates laughs. "Why should we listen to you, girl?" I smile evilly at them, causing some of them to step back a little. "Because, I know how this ends."

I kick the ones nearest to me and punch the others. The one who laughed tries to run away, but then I sneak up behind him and hold my knife to his throat. "You are going to run away and never return. If you do, you will be removed from the story. Permanently. Do you understand?"

He nods his head and I release him. The pirate takes off running into the woods. I turn around to see Puss, Donkey, and Artie all in a net. A cannon is aimed at them and Shrek is fighting off several pirates.

I rush over and knock out some of the pirates. Shrek throws the rest off of him and goes over to the cannon, flipping it over to face the other side. The cannon goes off, hitting Hook's piano.

The rest of the pirates and trees run off and Hook begins to shout at them. "Cowards!" Shrek grabs him and pins him to the bench. "What has Charming done to Fiona?"

"Oh, he's got plans for her. Plans to do it in the show."

"What show?" Shrek asks, frustrated. Hook is about to answer when the last tree comes by. Hook digs his hook into the branch and is carried off by the tree. "So long, ogre!"

We all stand there, wondering what to do next. "We need to get back to Far Far Away." Shrek says. "Yeah, but we're here and it's so far, far away." Donkey says. I pinch the bridge of my nose. "Wait. I think I know a way for us to get back." Artie says.

Artie walks over to the meditating Merlin. "Buzz, buzz. I am a buzzing bee. Buzz, buzz." I roll my eyes. 'How did I ever date that guy?' "Mr. Merlin, we need your help."

"Oh! Do you need some advice on who to give your heart to? Because when I saw your romantic feelings, I became concerned when I saw they were for the she-devil that ripped out my heart." Merlin says cheerfully. Artie's face becomes a bright red that could rival my cloak. I become as pale as a ghost. 'Artie liking me? Well, I think he's cute...wait a minute, I can't think that! Ugh! What is wrong with me?'

"What! No! I-I..." Artie stutters, tripping over his own words. "Look, Merlin. We have to get back to Far Far Away. And so help me, the Fates, if you don't do what I tell you to do, you will be removed from the story!" I scream at him. He blinks, then sighs. "Fine. Stand right over there."

He gestures to underneath the oak tree where Puss, Donkey, and Artie were all suspended from. We wearily walk over there and stand in the position. Merlin pulls out a large spell book. Donkey and Puss hold hands. "I wouldn't do that if I were you. Merlin ended up trying for weeks to get us back into the right bodies.

Horrified at the notion of being in each other's bodies, they let go."Zim Flavian, Zim Zalazoom, help our friends get back...soon!" The rush of falling overcomes me and I grin. Honestly, this was my favorite way to travel.

We land on the ground, me remaining on my feet, the others...not so much.

"Okay, Celeste. What do we do now?"