That night I slept in Draco's arms for the first time in a long time. It was easier for me to fall asleep, instead of trying to stay awake out of fear that he wouldn't be there when I woke up…However he wasn't there when I woke up, but I quickly relaxed when I saw his clothes still sitting on the chair in the corner of my room.
"Draco?" I called. My voice was barely awake. We'd stayed up rather late, talking and filling each other in on the past year we'd spent apart and I was still sleepy.
"Draco?" I said, wiping my eyes and stepping out of my bedroom door. The sun was shining in through the oculus window in the ceiling, illuminating the hardwood floors like some sort of magic. I glanced down the hall where the bathroom door was open, Draco standing there in his boxers, holding something in his hand with his back to me. I smiled and approached him. He became clearer the closer I got. Finally I stopped at the doorway and he turned his head to the side upon hearing me. I gasped and Draco turned back to the mirror, his hands moving in fierce swift motions. The floor was littered with platinum blonde hair, and I noticed that it was the pair of barber shears that were usually in the mirror cabinet in Draco's right hand.
"D-Draco," I said, clasping my mouth in shock.
"Why are you cutting your hair?" I stepped into the bathroom and Draco stopped, placing his hands on the sink. I got nervous and took the shears from him before he could inflict any more damage.
"I'm…I'm starting to look like my father," he said, closing his eyes tightly as if to wish it away. I thought of Lucius's long blonde locks, but to me Draco looked nothing like his father; he was only blonde like him. I took a look at Draco's hair, which he'd done a choppy job of cutting.
"I don't want to look like him," Draco said quietly before looking up at his face in the mirror with some strange horror of an expression.
"I'm nothing like him," he spat at his reflection angrily. "I can't be."
"You're not," I said calmly, sitting the shears slowly atop the toilet before placing a hand on Draco's shoulder, finding the scar I'd asked him about and never really gotten a straight answer. He turned to face me.
"You don't think I look like him?" he asked me honestly. I shook my head. Draco stared down a moment.
"It's going to be okay," I said, closing in towards him and wrapping my arms around his neck. Draco hugged me back.
"Although if you wanted to cut your hair, you should've let me do it," I said. I felt the vibrations of Draco's small laugh.
"I love you," he said. It didn't matter how many times he said it, my body still swooned and my head lightened as if I'd pass out. There were no real words to describe how he made me feel. I looked up at Draco's hair, passing my hand over it and a chunk went flying off. Draco frowned.
"I'm sorry. Do you hate it?" he asked, scrutinizing my expression, which I guess was still rather shocked.
"No. I still think you're gorgeous. Don't worry, I can—I can fix it up," I said, brushing off the strays. Draco's lips curled into a smile.
"Here, sit down," I said, kicking the lid of the toilet seat down. Draco sat and I grabbed the shears, carefully cutting places he'd missed and making it as even as I could with what was left. He looked a bit eccentric when I was finished, but he was still my Draco. I put the shears back inside the cabinet and stood in front of him, hands on my hips. He grinned at me as I took in the sight of him.
"I guess it'll have to do," I said, fighting a laugh.
"Unless you want me to bring some of it back magically."
Draco shook his head before passing his hands over the top.
"As long as I don't look like my father," he said, standing up and turning towards the mirror to take in his reflection. The smile on his face faded and was replaced by a hard and dark look.
"I'm sorry," I said. "You hate it."
Draco shook his head.
"No, you did fine," he said.
"It's me I don't like—that's what it is." I felt so sad suddenly as Draco glared at himself in the mirror. I could practically feel the hate emanating from him.
"What have I done?" he said to himself.
"I'm a horrible man."
"Draco?"
Before I had the chance to comfort him there was a loud shattering noise and Draco pulled his fist back from the now destroyed mirror. His expression remained unchanged as slowly, but surely, blood began to surge from his clenched fist. He let it fall slowly to his side, staring at it, not an ounce of pain on his face.
"Draco!" I stepped towards him on instinct to start at the wound but gasped and fell back when I stepped on shards of glass with my bare feet. I screamed.
"Angelina!" Draco cried, turning around with fear in his eyes when he saw me sitting there, nursing my feet which were now cut from the glass. Draco pointed his wand at the glass and the mirror quickly repaired itself, becoming intact as it had been seconds before. He rushed over to me and knelt there.
"Oh god—I'm sorry," he said. My feet were bleeding. In one swift motion, Draco scooped me up from the floor and rushed down the hall back to my room to tend to my feet. He healed them and the cuts disappeared. It stopped hurting, but I looked down at Draco where he continued to point his wand at my feet, conjuring gauze which slowly wrapped around them. His hand was still bleeding; he didn't even seem to notice. It was obvious to me how troubled he was, even after Voldemort had been destroyed.
"Your hand," I said, grabbing my wand off the nightstand. Draco sighed as I took his forearm and started to try and mend the hand. I had never really tried to heal wounds before with magic, and as badly as I wanted to, all I managed to do was stop the cuts from bleeding. I scoffed with aggravation, flourishing my wand. Finally Draco took it from me and put it back on the nightstand.
"It's fine," he said, becoming aware that I couldn't heal him.
"It's not—there's glass in it, Draco."
He sighed.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have broken the mirror. I said I'd never hurt you again and look, I've just gone and done it again," he said, chastising himself.
"No," I said sweetly, lifting his chin to take his gaze away from my bandaged feet.
"Draco, what's wrong? You're not a bad person. You need to stop thinking like that. It's driving you mad."
"It doesn't matter what I do. I keep hurting people. I'm so sorry."
"It was an accident, honey," I said.
Draco's eyes filled up and tears poured out. He fell towards me and sobbed. I wrapped my arms around him, slipping off onto the floor where we were at the same level. He totally broke down; I'd never heard him cry audibly the way he was then and there. He had to be feeling lost, ashamed, awful. But he was no longer the boy who'd been forced to do such evil things. No one could control him without Voldemort. He was free. It would take time for him to realize that. All I could do was be there and comfort him. He held onto me so tightly that it was nearly uncomfortable, but I just sat there and shushed him, rubbing his head and back. Though we were no longer connected by the souls, I could feel his pain. It was sharp like a knife to the heart. My own eyes filled up with tears, but I wiped them away quickly, swaying from side to side gently.
"I'm evil," Draco said, sniffling.
"No you're not! Don't say that," I said, lifting his face to look at mine.
"Don't say that," I said firmly. I wiped the tears from under his eyes and he calmed down. He was quiet for a moment, casually gripping my waist and brushing his thumb over my hip bone with his uninjured hand.
"I'm sorry," he said.
"Stop apologizing. It's not necessary."
Draco sighed.
"Merlin, I think I would die without your love, Angelina. Not even my own family makes me feel good…good about myself. I've always just done what I was told, whether they were good things or not. I didn't want to disappoint my parents. I've always had to deal with this terrible image of being evil…It makes me believe that I am."
"You're not," I said again.
"How do you know?" Draco asked, looking deeply in my eyes.
"How do you know I'm not just a monster? At times…it felt good to hurt people—people who've made me angry…" Draco's hand tightened on my waist for a moment and I thought of the time when he had strangled Cormac McLaggen, the countless times he must have bullied Harry.
"You're not a monster, Draco."
"How do you know? I've done things that I lie down at night and wonder how I was able to do them, and not to care how much it hurt somebody."
"I've seen who you really are. You're not a monster because monsters aren't capable of love," I said, "All those times we snuck away together…You tried to protect me, kept me a secret. You wouldn't have done if you didn't love me," I said. Draco wiped his eyes dry and smiled the smallest bit.
"I've never cared about anyone the way I care about you…perhaps my mother, but even then…" Draco shook his head and leant in to kiss my forehead. I reached for his hands, forgetting about the one that was still cut up, and Draco winced.
"Oh, I'm sorry," I said, letting it go. Draco looked down at it, finally giving it attention.
"Try and fix it, like you did my feet," I said, picking up Draco's wand from the floor and handing it to him. He put it right back down, closing his eyes.
"I don't…I don't know. I feel like I deserve this."
He didn't see me look at him like he was crazy.
"Draco—"
"I'm not going to heal it," he said adamantly, opening his eyes again.
"Then I'm taking you to the hospital. Get dressed," I said, standing up. Draco merely looked up from where he sat on the floor.
"You can't be like this. If you want to make amends, you have to start with yourself," I said, grabbing his arms and causing him to stand up.
"Come on," I said, "Get dressed while I go wash my face, and then we'll go."
When we arrived at St. Mungo's, Draco followed me to the emergency room. I showed the nurse his hand and she stared at Draco, wondering why he didn't seem to be in pain; it looked rather mangled. She told us to wait in the waiting room and that a healer would be with him shortly, but I knew how emergency rooms worked and I wasn't going to sit there for four hours and wait, so I demanded that we see a healer right away.
"It was gushing blood," I said, showing her Draco's hand.
"Lina, it's fine," Draco said, attempting to calm me down.
"No—he needs to see a healer right now," I demanded, pointing to the shards of glass in Draco's knuckles. The nurse gave up trying to tell us to wait and motioned for us to follow her to a small hospital room. She said to wait there for the healer and Draco sat down on the bed.
"Are you alright?" I asked worriedly. Draco smiled.
"You really take charge when you have to. I can't tell you anything," he said admiring me.
"It looks bad," I said, picking up his forearm to examine the hand again.
"I can't believe you did that," I said, shaking my head. I felt Draco pull his other hand through my hair. In about a minute, the healer came to the room, a nurse beside him. I recognized the nurse immediately and she froze on the spot and stared at me and Draco.
"Ginny," I said, surprised to see her. Draco's eyes widened a bit and he looked like he wanted to leave. The most disgusted expression washed over Ginny's face as she gawked at Draco holding my hand. The healer called her over, trying to get her attention as she was carrying something he needed to use. She just stared at us and I had no idea what to say.
"Hello, Ginny," said Draco calmly.
"You know my name?" she asked, eying him angrily.
"Of course I do. You're a Weasley, aren't you?" Draco asked casually.
"Ms. Weasley, I'll need the mender," said the healer, as I backed away from Draco so he could tend to his hand. Ginny snapped out of glaring at Draco and brought the healer what he needed.
"Essence of Dittany," said the healer after picking the glass out of and cleaning Draco's hand with some sort of solution.
"Might sting a bit, lad," he said. Draco did not wince once as he watched the healer take care of his hand.
"What are you doing here?" Ginny asked me, still surprised to see me, let alone with Draco Malfoy.
"Why are you with him?" she asked, shooting a mean glance over at Draco once more. He only watched calmly. I was sure he couldn't have expected her reaction towards him to be any different than it was.
"I didn't know you were a nurse," I said, noting her uniform.
"Yeah, I've been helping out down here the past week. There are still a lot of people who got hurt in Hogwarts…why are you here with him? Am I seeing things?" Ginny asked. The healer handed Draco the bottle of Dittany.
"Two drops in the morning, two drops at night. Use it until the scaring is gone, and you'll be fixed right up," the healer instructed before starting out of the room. Draco stepped down off the bed and Ginny backed up, nearly tripping as Draco approached me. He maintained a calm demeanor, but Ginny was looking at him like he was a monster.
"Ginny, please," I said, "You didn't see anything here, okay?"
"…You're…you're mental, Angie. Don't you know who he is?" she asked me, talking about Draco as though he wasn't even there and pointing accusatorily.
"Yes, I do," I said.
"When did this happen?" she asked me, and the way she said it made me feel like I'd committed some huge betrayal.
"It's exactly what you think," Draco said, answering Ginny's unspoken question.
"But I'm not who you think I am. You don't have to despise me," he said.
"Ginny don't say anything to anyone," I said, not wanting terrible rumors to be spread. It would've impeded Draco's chances of redemption.
"Does George know?" Ginny asked.
"What? What do you mean?" I asked, wondering why she would bring up George.
"He doesn't even know," she said, answering the question herself.
"Were you planning on telling everyone you were dating the enemy?" she asked. I felt as if she'd slapped me in the face.
"He's not the enemy. You don't know him—"
"I know who he is!" Ginny yelled.
"How could anyone forgive me, Lina? I don't blame her," Draco said.
Ginny stared at him in absolute disbelief again before hurrying out of the room.
"Ginny—!"
"Let her go," Draco said, placing a hand on my shoulder.
"But—"
"She knows now. There's nothing we can do about it. In time I'll prove that I'm good and this won't even matter," Draco said, wanting to calm me down. I thought about it and assumed he was right. But it also caused me to fear that word would get out and sooner or later, the people from Draco's past would turn up. I wouldn't have been prepared for what was going to happen when they did.
