The next morning she wakes up with Spencer basically on top of her. He's half on his side, half on his stomach with an arm on her belly and a leg thrown over hers. She blushes as realizes two things at once, one a certain hardness trapped between them, and two that Dave is standing in the doorway smirking.
She's careful as she pushes Spencer off of her but he basically sleeps like the dead so there really isn't a need. Dave gives her a weird look, almost laughing.
"What? I don't wanna hurt it I might want more kids someday," She whispers as she walks past him. He follows her down the hall.
"With Reid?" He snarks.
"Well, I don't know. Maybe. It isn't what it looked like." She keeps walking.
"Oh really? Because it looked like an expectant mother comforting the father of her children because he's been jittery and damn clingy since our fantastic Thanksgiving dinner of cereal and milk. But if there was something more… Well I won't judge," He shrugs as they enter the kitchen.
She glares at him while she makes her tea.
"Seriously Penelope I won't say anything. The kid needed it. You probably needed it. No judgment," He throws his hands up in the air.
"He did need it. So did I, I guess," She gives in sitting down at the table.
The look on Dave's face softens as she rubs a hand over her belly.
"We felt the babies kick last night," She offers.
"Well that explains how you got him to stay," He answers making coffee. She decides not to tell him that Spencer had already made the decision to stay before they felt the babies kicking.
"Do you," She starts, "Do you think he's okay?"
"Yeah I think so," Dave replies sitting down next to her, "Do you think otherwise?"
"I don't know. I didn't until JJ said something about his dad," She admits.
"His dad will always be a tough subject for him, and likely a motivating factor. He's always gonna want to prove that he isn't William Reid. I think that's why he has 3 doctorates. Now that he's going to be a father himself, well, it's all probably very close to the surface."
"I know. I just don't know what to do to help him."
"I think what you're doing is pretty good actually."
"Really?"
"Oh kitten, you don't think he could do this without you do you?" He looks over at her and makes eye contact.
They can hear movement upstairs so Dave gets up and starts making another cup of coffee and he grabs the newspaper to sit next to him.
"Do you only keep getting the paper for when he stays over?" She can't help but ask. She's never actually seen him read it.
"Well I sure as hell don't wanna hear him rant about technology ruining the way we receive news again."
She just snorts.
"I've got a few errands to run today. Do you have anything to drop off at the dry cleaners?"
CMCMCM
Given that both Spencer and Dave have said that Spencer has been clingy lately, and you know the fact that he slept in her bed last night, Penelope isn't all that surprised that the trend continues through their day off. It's kind of funny really. Mainly because it doesn't just extend to her but also to Dave as much as he tries to hide it.
Dave would normally be out and about, it is the first day he's been home in three weeks after all, and for that matter so would Penelope for much the same reason. They both have lists of things that need to be done, starting with the dry cleaning and ending with groceries, but Dave takes one look at Spencer and changes his plans. Penelope quickly follows suit.
Mostly it means that the three of them sit in the same room for a large portion of the day. Spencer reads while she knits and Dave writes. But it also means that Spencer's eyes track them when they get up to leave the room and he has to stop himself from asking where they're going.
Sometime after three he seems to have calmed down a bit. Enough that he stops looking up every time they move at least. So Dave announces that they need groceries, asks if they want anything and heads out; leaving her alone with Spencer for the first time since they went to sleep together the night before.
Spencer looks a little lost at first though he hides it well. Then he looks over to her and softly says, "Thank you for last night."
"You're welcome boo. You know I didn't mind right? I mean sometimes I need it too. It's been a long time since I've had a good cuddle and it helps. A lot."
He gives her a shy smile over the book in his hands, then swallows and says, "You know I've never slept in the same bed with a woman before?"
A couple of things race through her mind at once. Firstly she wonders how it was that she had never considered that, and then she thinks about the only relationship she's aware of him having, Maeve.
"Well I'm glad I was your first sweetcheeks," She says when she realizes that she needs to say something.
He smiles again, looks down at his book and says, "If you do ever, you know, need a cuddle...I'm available."
"I'll keep that in mind."
CMCMCM
Which explains how Dave finds them cuddled on his couch napping two hours later.
He just shakes his head, lets them sleep, and sends a picture to the rest of the team.
CMCMCM
Hotch is the first one to respond and does so with a simple :)
CMCMCM
Spencer really wasn't planning on going to Rossi's house that night nor was he planning on making himself comfortable in Penelope's bed. And he certainly wasn't planning on napping with her on the couch. But it does seem to help her. She seems calmer and more at ease when they wake up.
And if he's honest it helps him too. There's a big part of him that didn't think he would ever get to wake up next to the mother of his children and just feel them moving around, testing their ability to move. But he's glad to have the experience even if he doesn't expect it to ever happen again.
He really should have known that Rossi was going to take a picture and send it to the team. This is the problem with having a baby with a woman who lives with Rossi.
JJ sends him a copy of the picture with a winky face that he immediately sends to his little used email address so that he can print it later and Derek asks if they used protection. It takes everything in Spencer not to remind Derek that Penelope's already pregnant.
He does get a pat on the back from Dave when he wakes up and heads to the kitchen. They don't actually say anything but Spencer can see the, 'good job' in Rossi's eyes.
CMCMCM
Things continue to go well for another couple of weeks and Penelope has no reason to think that it will change. Right up until it does.
The first indication she has that she should just go back to bed is when she tries to put her shoes on only to discover that none of them fit. She has to spend 20 minutes trying on different ones before she finds a pair that doesn't entirely hurt her feet.
She sends off a text to JJ asking if it's normal and much to her general upset JJ says yes and then even goes as far as to say that hers never went back to their original size after Henry.
Penelope thinks that the day might be getting better when the team takes a case in Baltimore, meaning that they'll get to sleep in their own beds, only to be proven wrong when she gets the case file and sees crime scene photos of two dead kids.
From there, well there's looking for the bright side and then there's ignoring what's right in front of you.
She really should have seen it coming.
It's the first case involving kids that they've had since she got pregnant and it's utterly horrifying.
In fact she isn't sure what's more horrifying, the pictures of dead children on her screen or watching on a surveillance camera as her baby daddy runs at a madman with a knife to save a kid.
(The picture's of dead kids by a smidge.)
When she gets to the hospital, pissed as all hell, and in shoes that are at least a size too small she finds the team standing in the hall outside Spencer's room. Hotch and Derek both look annoyed, JJ looks pissed, and Dave just looks like it's a Tuesday, which is a clever disguise for worried as all hell but holding it in for the team. No wonder Spencer thinks it's the Dad's job to be strong.
Hotch and Derek jump in front of her as she stomps in but she just stops, takes her shoes off, and hands each of them one and walks into his room barefoot while they stand there confused.
"What the hell was that?" She all but yells as she closes the door.
"Hello Penelope, how are you?" Spencer asks calmly with a hint of a smile.
"What the hell was that? You tackled an idiot with a knife? You don't tackle people Spencer!" She's starting to get more worked up, "Seriously, you can't do things like this anymore! I'm expecting you to take care of this!" She points to her stomach.
"You think I'm not going to take care of them?" The smile is gone, replaced by something she can't identify.
She gears up to respond when the team comes filing in. Derek grabs her hand and starts guiding her out while Hotch goes to Spencer.
The next thing she knows she's on one side of the door with Derek and Dave and Spencer's on the other side with Hotch and JJ.
"Baby girl calm down," Derek orders, pulling her into a hug, "He's okay. He's okay. He just has a sprained shoulder. He has to wear a sling for two weeks. That's it, believe me he isn't going anywhere."
"Are you sure?" She has to ask.
"Savannah looked him over herself."
She's holding onto him like her life depends on it as he backs her into a chair in the waiting room. Then she's sitting there, with Derek on one side and Dave on the other. Derek's arm is around her.
"I was so scared." She admits, "Watching on that screen."
"I know baby, I know. But he's okay. And he did the right thing. He saved that kid and he did it without firing a shot."
"Really?" She sits up, "You call that the right thing? He tackled a guy with a knife. How can you say that?"
"Kitten, he's right. Reid followed the profile perfectly. Any one of us would have done the same thing," Dave says sensibly.
"Then why did you all look so worried?" She points out reasonably.
"Because he was still hurt," Derek says like it's obvious.
Then she's crying again, "Oh God, what did I say to him? He's going to hate me now," She gets up to go apologize.
"Wait," Derek grabs her wrist, "Give them a minute. I promise he won't hate you but give Hotch and JJ some time with him first."
CMCMCM
As soon as the door closes with Penelope on the other side Spencer looks over to JJ and says, "You should be with her. She needs you."
But JJ shakes her head, "Derek and Dave are with her. She'll be fine. Are you okay?"
He immediately nods his head, "I'm fine but Penelope needs you JJ."
"Spence, I promise Penelope will be fine. You know Derek can take care of her."
Which is either the perfect thing to say or the worst possible thing to say because his face crumples. JJ looks over to Hotch but he isn't paying any attention to her. She wants to know if this is it, if they're going to press the issue but she's getting nothing from him.
"Spence she's scared. She was watching the camera feed. She saw you tackle him," JJ tries.
"I know but does she really think I would do something that would keep me from meeting them? From taking care of them?" He's quiet.
"No, she doesn't," Hotch speaks up, "But she did just see the father of her children do something dangerous. Something that she wouldn't do and that she thought you would never do. She's scared and you know that people strike out when scared."
"She's also pregnant. Her emotions are close to the surface and it makes them harder to control," JJ adds.
Spence nods at them and says, "I know. And she has every right to be scared."
"Yes she does," Hotch agrees. The older man takes a deep breath and JJ would swear that he's fighting with himself when he continues, "Reid, Spencer, a lot of being a father is being whatever the mother needs you to be. Especially before the babies are born. Your job is to get Penelope through this as smoothly as possible."
Spence is staring at Hotch and nodding.
It takes everything JJ has not to put her face into her hands because that is the last this Spence needs to hear.
"However, that doesn't mean that you aren't allowed emotions. It doesn't mean that you aren't allowed to be scared. Or upset when Penelope takes her emotions out on you."
Better, JJ thinks, even if it wasn't what she would have said.
"Were you?" Spence asks softly.
"Scared?" Hotch clarifies, "Like hell."
Okay, now they're making headway.
CMCMCM
Over the next half hour there's some shuffling. Dave gets up and goes into the room with Spencer, JJ comes out and sits with Penelope and Derek.
"I know it's hard to watch the father of your children do something like that," JJ says sympathetically, "But he did do the right thing Garcia." She says kindly and completely without judgment.
"Do you feel that way when you watch Will do things like that?" She has to ask.
"You have no idea," Is there only response she gets.
A few minutes later Derek asks if she'll be okay and joins the guys in Spencer's room leaving her and JJ alone in waiting room.
"I was scared JJ. I've watched you all do things like that before, but…" She isn't quite sure how to end that sentence.
"But this time you've got two of his genius babies inside of you. So you couldn't see straight, and all you could think was that they may never get to know how wonderful their father is and that he may never be able to hold them?" JJ finishes for her.
"Yeah, something like that."
"Penelope, it's okay. I promise. He's fine and he never would have done anything to scare you like that on purpose. The last thing he wants is his children growing up without a father."
"I know that, I really do," She argues.
"Well, I think you need to make sure that he knows that," JJ, always the mother, points out.
"JJ am I an awful person for saying what I said?"
"Of course not. You're a worried mother facing your greatest fear. We all do crazy things when we're worried about our kids. Spence will see that."
Hotch finds them a few minutes later and takes Derek's seat. JJ gets up to leave with a small sympathetic smile.
As soon as JJ's gone Penelope looks up at Hotch and asks, "Are you here to yell at me?"
Hotch, ever the father, gives her one of his most expressive looks despite the fact that his face doesn't move and asks, "What would I yell at you about?"
"You mean besides the fact that I let my feelings get in the way of doing my job? The fact that I said something hurtful to another team member and that I would have said worse if you all hadn't come in when you did?"
"Well, you didn't let your feelings get in the way of doing your job. You did your job perfectly. You let your emotions get the better of you afterward but that's allowed. Number two you didn't say something hurtful to another team member, you said said hurtful to the father of your children, but only after he did something that scared you. That's a perfectly natural response. And finally, the team will always have your back. Now, more to the point, would it help anything for me to yell at you?"
"It might help me feel better."
Hotch puts a hand on her shoulder and squeezes, "I think we both know there's only one thing that will make you feel better."
"How is he sir?"
Hotch shakes his head, "He's fine. He's worried about you."
"Did he, you know, open up?" She looks up at him hopefully. Maybe there could be something good in this after all.
"No, unfortunately he's still in denial," For his part Hotch does look sorry about that.
"Sir, should I push the issue? Cause I've been trying really hard not to," She has to ask.
"Not yet," He squeezes her shoulder again, "But Garcia you might have to as we get closer. You need to make sure it's something you can handle. If it isn't we'll figure something out."
She takes a minute to breathe, grabs Hotch's hand from her shoulder and moves it to her belly where the twins are being extremely active, "Do you feel that sir?"
Hotch gives her a small private smile, "They're really playing soccer aren't they?"
"Yeah, they are," She answers, "Sir, I could do anything for them. I would do anything for them."
"Of course you would Penelope. It's an overwhelming feeling isn't it?" He asks with his hand still planted on belly. He starts to rub small circles and she can feel the twins following his hand.
"One of the reasons I've waited this long to become a mother is that I never wanted this," She waves a hand around, "I'm terrified of leaving them the way mom and dad left me. But more than that I can't be left behind again. It was bad enough when I thought Emily was dead. I don't think you get 2 miracles like that in a single lifetime."
Hotch moves his hand his side and makes eye contact before answering, "I know. Being left behind is pretty much the worst thing that can happen to a family. However, you can't let that fear control you or make you enjoy your life any less. Garcia you've done an amazing job creating a life for yourself that you could enjoy to the fullest. You can't let that change just because you have more to lose now."
All she can do is nod in return.
CMCMCM
Hotch opens the door for her when they get back to the exam room. The rest of the team, plus Savannah are there but at a nod from Hotch they all start to file out. They all give her sympathetic looks. Derek and Dave throw in a shoulder squeeze. But before long it's just the two of them.
"So," she starts.
"How are you?" He asks a few seconds later.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to insinuate, you know what I insinuated," She shuffles closer to the bed he's sitting on.
"Penelope, I know that," He's staring at her, "You were scared. You were stuck watching and didn't have the full story. Anyone would have been scared in that situation. Are you okay?"
"Why? Why are you being so understanding?"
He doesn't even grace her question with a response, instead asking, "Are you okay?"
"No, I'm not. I woke up this morning and all of a sudden none of my shoes fit. I spent all day staring at dead kids. The wonder twins have been kicking like crazy. Even while I had the pictures up. And then I watched my baby daddy get hurt and knew that there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. So no you know what, I am not okay," By the end of her rant she's yelling and breathing harder than she should be.
Then he's in front of her, putting his good arm around her, "Okay so we buy you some new shoes, I have a talk with the kids about being nice to mommy, and I promise not to do anything dangerous while you're watching for a while."
She huffs and hits him in the arm. She wants to say that he can't do anything like that ever again but logic is starting to intervene and she knows, realistically, that with their jobs he can't make that promise and it's not fair of her to ask it.
"What else can I do Penelope?"
"I don't know. Stop getting hurt? I have enough to worry out without you tackling people."
"I'll try. I'll certainly try to leave the tackling to Derek if that makes you feel better."
She just glares at him. Not funny.
"Alright can we get out of here now? I would really like some cookies but Savannah keeps saying that I don't need them."
"Oh you poor baby," She knows exactly what he's doing but she lets him do it anyways, "Of course I'll make cookies. It's time I started my Christmas baking anyway."
"Just for me right? I won't have to share them?"
CMCMCM
That night Spencer sleeps in her bed again. He takes the sling off and sleeps with his head on her chest, just above the babies, the hand of his bad arm on them, the other at an unnatural angle off to the side that Penelope knows he's going to regret tomorrow, and a leg thrown over hers.
The thing is, the last time it felt like they were doing it for him. This time feels like it's for her.
She doesn't wake to Dave in her doorway this time.
Oh no, this time it's Derek.
She's not sure how long he's been watching when she finally wakes up, only that he has a weird look on his face.
Spencer is still draped over her like a blanket and she doesn't particularly want to wake him or, really, deal with this at all so she just stays put.
"Good morning Derek."
"Good morning princess. Should I assume that this is a very good morning?" He's smiling mischievously.
"No. Nothing happened. We just needed a cuddle," She rolls her eyes.
"Oh is that what we're calling it now?"
"Derek did you at least bring coffee if you're going to make fun of us?" Spencer asks speaking directly into her stomach without even opening his eyes.
"Of course I did," He holds up a carrier with two cups in it, "I thought you might need it after the night you had. Just didn't realize it was even busier than I thought."
"Could you just leave the coffee, and give us ten minutes?" He still hasn't moved. Although a shift of her hips explains why that might be.
Derek seems to get it, so he walks in, sets the cups down, ruffles Spencer's hair and leaves with a laugh and, "We need to get over to the house soon sleeping beauties."
"Hey, how are you feeling this morning?" She goes for normal.
"My arm is a little sore but I'll make it," He jokes.
She runs a hand over his back and says, "Alright well I'm going to go get breakfast. Meet me downstairs? I'll try to save you some pancakes."
CMCMCM
The thing about Derek is that everyone else seems to think that he can be insensitive. And maybe that's true when it comes to other people, but with her and Spencer? Insensitive is the last adjective she would use.
Tease is much more appropriate.
On the way to the house Derek does make a few comments, mostly innocent jokes that make Spencer blush. But they're all covering a very real seriousness that Penelope knows he's going to address the second he has the chance.
If there's one thing Derek Morgan will never tolerate it's someone hurting Penelope or Spencer. Even if the person hurting them is well, them.
Which is why she is not at all surprised when, after helping her out of the car Derek grabs Spencer to go check something in the back of the house.
And really, they're both profilers so if they don't know that she's eavesdropping then shame on them.
Derek starts out by showing Spencer a real issue to catch him off guard, they talk about it and then he asks, "So you and Penelope huh?"
She can hear Spencer rolling his eyes, "Oh yeah, Penelope and I had hot monkey sex last night couldn't you see all the evidence when you walked in on us fully clothed this morning?" He says lightly and Derek laughs.
"That's not what I mean kid."
Things go quiet for a moment and Penelope can only guess so to what's happening but then Derek sighs and says, "Look I'm not making fun but have you ever, you know, slept with a woman before?"
Penelope can see Derek's intense look, can picture Spencer's light scoff as he says, "Yes actually I have."
"Okay then, you know that it can be intense," Derek seems to be trying very hard to be serious.
"Yes Derek, I know the emotional complications that can arise from sharing a bed with another person," Spencer doesn't sound upset so much as amused.
"Look kid, you're both adults and you two have to make your own decisions. I get that. You've already made a huge one together and I think it's turned out pretty well so far. I just don't want either of you being hurt."
"Derek," He starts, sounding much more serious, "Penelope is going to be the mother of my children. And sometimes I need to feel, connected I guess. To them mostly but also to her. She and I are a very different team now. And sleeping in same bed helps with that. It helps me feel grounded. Reminds me why we do the things we do. Helps me feel close to them. So I'm going to keep doing so as long as she'll let me."
"Alright pretty boy, just promise me that if you feel like you're getting in too far you'll talk to someone?"
Spencer must nod because the next thing she knows Derek's yelling, "Baby girl you got anything to add?"
She walks into the room in boots that she borrowed from Dave. The horror.
"Derek I love you and I love that you care about us, really I do."
"But?"
"But nothing. I think my baby daddy already put you in your place."
Derek just laughs and throws up his hands, "Is that how it is?"
She smiles and gives him a hug, "Unless you want to join us sometime. I'll talk to Savannah but I'm sure she'll be fine with it."
CMCMCM
Later that night, after spending a good chunk of the day at the house putting together the finishing touches so that they could start painting the next time they're off, and then making a stop at her favorite shoe store whereupon Derek tried to give Spencer a lesson in the art of women's shoes, they end up in her room at Dave's again.
"You know with us so close to moving in the house you might want to talk to Dave about just staying here for the next few weeks. Save on rent."
He's going through her yarn and pulling out a few different colors he likes but he looks up to say, "That may not be a bad idea."
They go about their business for a while, Spencer knitting what looks to be a fire orange hat and Penelope playing a game on her laptop when Spencer asks, "Do you think it's weird?"
"What?" She asks still half paying attention to her game.
"Us. You know. Sleeping in the same bed."
She presses pause to look at him, staring down at the hat he's knitting, and says, "I don't know. Maybe. But I like weird and I certainly don't think anyone other than us gets to decide what we do and do not do in our own beds."
"It's just that I told Morgan that I had slept in the same bed with a woman before, but you know I meant you. You're the only one. Maybe even the only one I could imagine doing this, any of this, with. And he's right, there are emotional complications that can arise from situations like this."
"Situations like what? Two people who love each other dearly deciding to have a beautiful intelligent baby together, or those same two people lucking out and getting two for the price of one, or maybe those two people deciding that hey our lives are forever tangled and we need some comfort let's find it in each other? One of those situations?" She asks softly.
"Yeah, one of those."
"Well, you're right there are emotional complications in situations like this and the fact that we're sharing a bed on occasion and maybe even the fact that you never have before ups the ante. But you're a gambling man right sweetcheeks?"
He blushes and looks back down at his hat, "Not really, not in situations where I can't count the cards."
She sighs as a thought forming unwittingly in her head, "Is this about you know, her?" She asks hesitantly.
"Maybe a little. Not that I don't want to be doing this with you because you're great and you're going to be a wonderful mother. The best I could ever hope for, but I sort of had this picture in my head you know? I wanted kids, with her, and for a while after she died I thought that I would never get them. For a while I thought I didn't want them if I couldn't have them with her. It hurts sometimes. When I realize she isn't here."
"Oh sugar snap, it's okay to feel like that. You're always going to miss her. Did you ever grieve for yourself? For the life you thought you'd have?" He's still sitting across the room in her chair but she moves a little closer, to the edge of her bed.
"I thought I did. I grieved for her and myself. But it's all coming back to me now. Did you know I visited her Dad? Before I asked you, I went to him. I don't know why. Her mom passed away a few months ago from the cancer. He's still angry. He wouldn't even see me."
"Oh Einstein," She holds her hands out for him, hoping but not expecting that he'll come to her but he does. She moves over to make room and he fits himself under her arm.
"It's just I started having this dream a little while after she died. We're in bed together. Just laying together you know? Like you and I did this morning. Her arms are around me and I can hear her heartbeat. And I just feel so at peace. Then I wake up and I realize that I'll never get to feel that in real life."
She's at a loss for how to respond to that so Penelope grabs his hand and puts it on her belly where the twins are moving around.
"But I did this morning. At least a piece of it. And I think I could again if you'll let me."
"Oh genius of course I'll let you. It's not like this bed isn't big enough for both of us. Besides the babies like having you here."
"Really?" He sounds so hopeful that she wants to cry.
"Oh yeah, they're more active when they hear your voice. When you call to talk to them I can feel them going crazy in there. They like having you around. So do I."
"So you don't think it's weird?" He asks again.
"No. But even if I did we sure as hell aren't going to stop."
CMCMCM
The next morning at breakfast Spencer broaches the subject of staying at Dave's in that few week gap between his lease ending and the house being ready. Dave, predictably, says yes but then follows it with, "You might as well if you two are gonna sleep in the same bed anyhow. But if you do get up to anything, close the damn door."
There's not anything else said about the subject.
CMCMCM
Dave hires a moving service so he won't have to help pack around Spencer's books.
Derek looks disappointed at the news but everyone else seems relieved.
