Chichen Itza, Yucatán
The quintet hopped out of the truck at the entrance to Chichen Itza. They gazed up at the pyramids.
"So, where do we go?" Shego asked Motor Ed.
Motor Ed shrugged. "Big pyramid? It worked for us last time."
"Oh, what, no big fancy name to remind us you majored in Pre-Colombian Civilizations?" Shego snarked.
"Seriously? It's called the Templo Mayor," Motor Ed said. "But that's just Spanish for 'Main Temple.' Seriously. It doesn't really have some incredibly special name, it's just like, the big pyramid. Seriously."
"Okay, great, so we're heading to the giant pyramid, yay," Ron said. "Could we hurry this up? I want to stumble onto our next clue or Wade or Drakken or whatever ASAP."
"We're not just going to stumble onto something, Ron," Kim said.
"KP, it's what we've been doing!" Ron said. "Shego opened a secret passageway in the mall by accident, then opened a secret passageway in the basement of that museum, and..." He stopped. "Hey, Shego, why don't you lead us?"
"Ron!" Kim said angrily.
"But KP!" Ron protested.
Kim sighed. "You're right. Unfortunately. Shego has been pretty helpful, even if only by accident."
"Watch and learn, princess," Shego said. Kim grit her teeth. "With me at the helm, we'll be out of here in no time."
"Yeah, seriously," Motor Ed said. "Watch and learn, Red."
Shego grinned evilly.
"Oh, so there you are!" a loud voice said, ripping through the air. "You must be our four missing tourists! Come along, please!"
The group turned and spotted a large tour group. At the head of the group was a skinny woman with a surprisingly loud voice.
"Uh, yeah, no, we're not part of your tour group," Shego said, faking sweetness. "We're just going to wander around here–"
"Oh, don't be silly!" the woman said. "You're not allowed to wander the grounds alone. It's too likely you'll disturb the site. Now come along."
"Yes! Of course!" Kim said quickly. "We'll be there in a second." She grabbed the others and drew them close. "Look, if we want to get in, we'll have to go on this tour. Now suck it up and let's pretend to be part of the tour, okay?"
"You got it, KP!" Ron said happily. Rufus poked out of his pocket, nodding and smiling, and gave a thumbs-up.
"Aw, can't we skip the tour?" Motor Ed wheedled. "Seriously. Mayans are like, the least interesting major Pre-Colombian civilization. Seriously."
"Yeah, I'm with musclehead on this one," Shego said. "This tour sounds totally lame, and more importantly, totally not going to help us find Drakken."
"Look, we have to take the tour if we want to explore this place," Kim said. "We'll just slip out once she's distracted, okay?"
"Hey, who's leading this group, me or you, princess?" Shego asked sharply. "I say we do what we want."
"Uh, I changed my mind, Kim should lead us," Ron said.
"WHAT?" Shego spat angrily, rounding on him with palms ablaze.
"Ahem!" the woman's voice called. "We're about to get started, so if you four could please join the group?"
The four stared at each other. Ron was the first one to break away, turning and walking calmly towards the rest of the tour group. Kim followed him a few seconds later, and Motor Ed shrugged and followed her away. Shego scowled, unlit her hands, and joined the tour.
"Listen," she hissed to Kim, "as soon as there's a way out of here, we are taking it, you understand me?"
Kim rolled her eyes and nodded.
Chichen Itza, Yucatán
"...and that's when the king decided not to say another word about the poaching, seeing as the baked potatoes were indeed quite delicious. At that point..."
The tour guide droned on as she led her tour group through Chichen Itza. Each member of the group was reacting to the tour differently. Ron, as usual, was incredibly bored. Rufus had bedded down to sleep in Ron's pocket. Kim's eyes were alert as she kept them fixed on the tour guide, occasionally glancing around to see if there was a viable escape route. Motor Ed was also fixated on the tour guide, but for a different reason: he was hearing all the falsehoods in her history and was keeping track mentally of whether any accurate history was actually being portrayed. Shego, meanwhile, looked just as bored as Ron and was constantly looking around for someplace to escape to. Unfortunately for them, the grounds were clear of clutter and there were no ruins to hide behind anywhere near the path they were on.
"...and she said 'Let's do it! The room's already paid for!' So the chef and the gardener proceeded to..."
"Okay, Kimmie, you got us into this mess," Shego muttered. "Now what are you going to do to get us out of it?"
"What mess?" Kim asked, annoyed. "We take the tour, we figure out where we're supposed to find everything. It's like Ron said, we've just stumbled into clues. Well let's get stumbling."
Shego sighed. "You're right."
A few seconds later, Shego stuck her leg out in front of Kim. Kim tripped over it and fell forward, landing on the ground awkwardly. Shego snorted but quickly rearranged her face into the picture of innocence. Kim quickly got up and moved back to Shego's side, and the few tourists who had noticed her fall put their attention back on the tour guide.
"...the priest said, 'Read the card, you fool!' Well, as you can guess, those were some disgusting flowers, but..."
"You did that on purpose," Kim said softly but angrily.
"What, me?" Shego said, feigning innocence. "I would never! Kimmie, seriously, why would I trip you? I mean, sure, we are enemies. And you were talking about how you just needed to stumble. And yes, your indignant look is hilarious. But no, princess, I didn't stick my leg out to trip you. Even if it would have been hysterical." She smirked. "You believe me, don't you?"
Kim scowled.
Chichen Itza, Yucatán
"Not a single fact right," Motor Ed grumbled to himself. "Seriously. Not a single correct fact."
"...well, the monkey couldn't write prescriptions, you see," the tour guide continued. "But, since the Mayans were resourceful, they grabbed the bride-to-be..."
Motor Ed grimaced. Not only was his cousin missing, but he was on an endless tour led by a woman that had no grasp of Mayan history or culture. Even though he'd never been interested in the Mayans the way he was interested in the Incans, Aztecs, or Navajo, he was rather annoyed by the fact that his comparatively weak grasp of the Mayan world was still strong enough that he could tell she was butchering every anecdote in Mayan history–when she stuck to the facts instead of making up her own stories, that is. He was fairly certain that the one about the roosters and the talking snake was a complete fabrication.
"...of course, they thought the showtune was a bit over the top, and the performers were summarily executed. Consequently, the arm-wrestling match between..."
Motor Ed grit his teeth. He didn't know how much more of this he could take. Annoyed, he decided that it was time to do something, and hung back as the group moved on, pretending to examine a relic. It seemed his gambit would be successful until he heard the annoying tones of the tour guide calling him.
"Sir!" she yelled. "Sir! You have to stay with the tour!"
Motor Ed glanced around. He could make a run for it, of course, but he wasn't the most fleet of foot. He usually relied on vehicles to get away; he was a great driver and mechanic. Still, making a run for it might be better than suffering through the rest of the tour.
"Sir, get over here! Now! Sir!" the woman yelled at him.
Annoyed, Motor Ed began walking back to the tour. Suddenly, Ron ran past him.
"Woop, look at me, running through a historical site!" Ron yelled. "Wow, sure hope I don't touch anything!"
The tour guide gave chase. "All of you, stay put!" she yelled at them. "Sir! Security! Sir!"
Motor Ed watched, impressed, as Ron deftly avoided the tour guide and the security personnel who were attracted by her calls. He wandered back to Kim and Shego.
"Big pyramid?" he asked.
"Big pyramid," Kim confirmed.
