Heyo, here's the last chapter. Hope you've enjoyed the story, and thanks for sticking with it til the end. Again, doing this instead of studying cause I'm a dumbass, but oh well. My exam's tomorrow so that should be fun. I hope to see you guys again soon.
CW: Discussion of Shindou/sexual assault, mentions of self-harm
Every Monday through Thursday, Izuku would walk Shouto back to his student accommodation apartment before going home. It was only two minutes out of his way, and he liked spending more time with him. That day though, his stomach was churning.
Shoutou knew something was up. He had to. Izuku had been shaking for three days. But he hadn't pushed him to talk about it. They walked out of the canteen laughing, and he mentioned something about not wanting to go home the next day. He hated being near his father.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Izuku offered.
Shouto met his gaze with his one good eye. His expression was soft. "Do you?"
Izuku paused and looked down. "I…" His teeth furrowed into his lip.
"It's okay if you don't. I'm just worried about you. I don't want you bottling things up."
"I know," Izuku whispered. They walked through the automatic doors and out onto the campus. It was still bright out, but not many people were there. Most left at five. Izuku looked up at the sky and took a shaky breath. "I… You know the ex I told you about?"
Shouto nodded. Izuku had mentioned him once – just the creepy thing he'd said about the sex. "Yeah."
"So, um…" Izuku shook his head. "Nothing- nothing new's happened, but I guess I've just been thinking about it because this is my first relationship since then so it's bringing up memories, even though you're nothing like him and this is nothing even remotely similar to how I felt around him but-" He was rambling. He took another breath. "I was talking about it to process it to my roommates and… and I…" He closed his eyes. "I kind of just processed that he sexually assaulted me."
Shouto's head snapped towards him and Izuku kept his eyes on the ground.
"He… I technically said yes, but…"
Shouto shook his head. Izuku's hands were in his pockets, but Shouto slipped his hand into the pocket of Izuku's jacket to hold his hand. It was his right one – it was cold and exactly what Izuku needed to breathe. "No. No, don't do that to yourself."
"I'm not but-" Izuku squeezed Shouto's hand. "Basically… I met him at a summer camp, and my friends wanted me to shift someone at the disco because I hadn't really before, so I just kind of went with him because he looked nice enough and reminded me of an old crush. So we shifted and then- and then he kind of pulled me back in and he- he grabbed my ass." He swallowed. "And he just assumed we were dating. I was too scared to say no and I didn't really see the point. And then one night he just started touching my chest and I couldn't breathe. He stopped when I said I didn't like it, but I didn't- fuck, I didn't even know his first name."
He had to stop walking. They were under the building now – on the path by the road deliveries came up. No one was there.
"And then-" Izuku took a slow breath. "And then we went on a date when he came up to Tokyo, and later at his apartment, he asked if he could touch my chest and- and I said yes, but I was sitting there like a statue for ten minutes. His mom and sister were there. And I couldn't-" Izuku squeezed his eyes shut again and took a slow breath. In for five, out for seven. "I broke up with him two days later over the phone and he tried to convince me I didn't want to break up with him, but… yeah. And then he tried to talk to me the next year, and then the year after that, I came out and he avoided me. So I haven't seen him since and there's no way for him to do anything but… yeah."
Shouto shook his head and gently pulled Izuku into his arms. "I'm so sorry," he murmured, "that you had to go through that."
Izuku wrapped his arms around Shouto's waist, head resting on his shoulder. "It's not your fault," he whispered. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be. What he did was unacceptable. And even if you said yes, you were clearly uncomfortable. What age were you?"
"Fourteen." Izuku's eyes were burning. "Fifteen when the chest thing happened. He was turning seventeen."
"He should have known to check in with you." Shouto squeezed him. "And even without the chest the second time, he assaulted you."
Izuku squeezed his eyes shut and clutched Shouto's jacket. "It feels so dumb," he whispered. "So many people went through so much worse, and I-" He sniffed and shook his head.
"You went through something traumatic too." Shouto kissed the top of Izuku's head and pulled back just enough to meet his gaze. "And that's okay. And I'm going to help you through this as best as I can, okay?"
Izuku swallowed and nodded. "Okay," he whispered. "Thank you."
Izuku squeezed Shouto's hand as they sat on the couch of the tattoo and piercing parlor, a book open in front of them on the table. "You're sure about this?"
Shouto nodded. "Definitely." He took a breath and looked at the design he'd drawn in pen on his wrist. Izuku followed his gaze. It was a semi-colon, with half a butterfly sprouting out from it. Shouto had confided that whenever he wanted to self harm, he'd started drawing butterflies on his wrists instead. He wanted it permanent. Izuku looked back at the eyebrow piercing he had selected, along with the tattoo of a small green rabbit curled up around a heart with the trans pride colours in it. Shinsou had drawn it for him after he came out.
"I'm..."
Shouto squeezed Izuku's hand as he trailed off and ran his thumb over the back of Izuku's wrist. "If you don't want to do it today, it's okay," he said gently.
"I do." Izuku shook his head. "I really do. I'm just... nervous." It was laughable, really. He was training to be a pro-hero. He was training to defeat All For One, who had been hurting the world for generations. He was training to be the number one hero. And he was scared of some needles.
"It's okay." Shouto smiled at him. "I'm nervous too." He looked over the piercings. "Think my father would kill me if I got a lip ring?"
"You don't need to get a piercing just because I am."
"I want one."
Izuku snorted and shook his head. "If he tried, I'd kill him."
Shouto smiled and kissed Izuku's shoulder. "No killing him. I have those rights." He let out a slow breath. "Okay..."
Izuku looked down at his wrist. "I might get a semi-colon too," he mumbled. "The butterfly is your thing, but-" He shrugged. "-I don't want there to be more kids like me who thought you couldn't be a pro-hero if you had mental illness."
Shouto's smile grew and he squeezed Izuku's hand again. "Go for it."
Two hours later, they both emerged from the parlor. A silver ring pierced Shouto's lip, and his wrist was wrapped. Izuku's was too, like a matching bracelet, and two silver balls sat on either side of his eyebrow. His tattoo on his shoulder blade was also covered. They took care of their tattoos as instructed over the long weekend, and on Monday, they went into college with their tattoos bare. Izuku was still too self-conscious to wear a tank-top, but he took a photo of his rabbit tattoo, and even pulled his shirt and binder to the side for people to see it.
"Happy?" Shouto asked when they had a minute to breathe after everyone had seen their tattoos and piercings.
Izuku grinned and kissed Shouto's cheek. "Happier than I've been in years."
Things were still tense with Uraraka. Izuku didn't blame her for that, but he was trying not to blame himself more than he should. He hadn't drunk heavily since that night, and he didn't plan on doing it again. She'd also met a girl in their course called Tsu and they had just gone on their first date. She seemed a lot happier now that she and Izuku were actually talking about what happened, and Izuku was happier about it too.
Izuku had been dating Shouto for two months, and they went to a café on their fourth date, just to talk. He'd explained it briefly, and Shouto had hugged him again and told him not to be so hard on himself. It still felt like he wasn't being hard enough on himself.
After the café, Izuku walked Shouto to the train station. It was one of the days he had to go back to his father.
"Are you going to be okay tonight?"
"I'll be fine," Shouto assured him. His eyes flickered to the train approaching the platform. "I'd better go."
"Yeah."
Izuku hesitated, then kissed Shouto's cheek as Shouto kissed his.
"Alright, I'll see you Monday."
"Uh, wait…" Izuku kept a hold of Shouto's hand. "Can I, um… Can I kiss you?"
Shouto's eyes widened the same way they had when Izuku first asked if he could kiss his cheek, but he also smiled the same smile. "Yeah."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
Izuku smiled and leaned up, and Shouto tilted his head. Shouto's piercing brushed his lip first, and then Izuku kissed him properly. The kiss lasted a second or two at most, but it left Izuku breathless and dazed, and he pulled back slowly, still smiling. A squeak that Izuku had never heard the like of coming from Shouto escaped his mouth, and his eyes were bright.
"I- I'd better go," Shouto said. "I had a great time today." He was grinning his goofy grin again – the one he only really used around Izuku.
"Me too." Izuku squeezed his hand, his cheeks hurting from smiling. "Text me when you get home."
Shouto nodded and climbed onto the train, and Izuku glanced back three times as he left the station, still smiling, his face red.
That felt right.
He took a slow breath as he reached his bus stop. His smile softened, and he looked up at the sky. Maybe what happened with Shindou didn't have to define him, even if it always stuck with him. Maybe Bakugou was right and there was a mid-ground between the two versions that happened at the bar. Maybe his counsellor was right that he should trust his own memory. Maybe Shouto wouldn't hate him. Maybe he'd actually stay with Izuku for a long time, and they'd be happy together. Maybe Uraraka didn't secretly hate him. Maybe all of this would turn out to be… permanent marker instead of scarring – something that would come off, even though it took time.
Maybe things were really going to be okay.
I really hope you guys enjoyed the chapter. Please leave a review and I hope to see you soon.
