A/N: RETURN OF THE EMBARRASSING RINGTONE! And the return of our special guest stars, everybody's favorite disembodied split personalities, Whoregura and Boregura, with lots of dialogue strands! So, it looks REALLY long, but it's mostly a few LONG conversations I hope you find humorous. And, well, it's very long. SIX THOUSAND WORDS Y'ALL (most of them being this long auth. note XD). Finally, I know I said this would be the ball chapter, buuuuut….I LIED! *meme face* Don't worry, it will DEFINETLY and without a doubt be the next one. And last but CERTAINLY not least…School starts tomorrow! :( So, updates are probably going to be slower. Trust me, I'm not happy either, but, you know, school=college=job. (There should be equal signs there. I think they show up, but not all characters do, so that's a heads up.) And without further ado as I continue to add to the now 6,231 word chapter, enjoy!
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"Oh, Agura, I can't tell you how much fun this is going to be!" Sophia sang happily as a trio of guards walked them out to an expensive looking car Agura was sure Vert knew the name of.
"It sounds like a wonderful afternoon." Agura said sincerely.
"Oh, I'm sure it will be." Sophia smiled as a guard opened the car door. "I've selected the quaintest little café for our lunch, and we have reservations at the most distinguished salon in all of-"
"Sabrina?!" Agura's mouth dropped just as she was about to sit in the car, or rather saw who she was about to sit next to.
"Well, no, dear, that's a province, I was going to say-Oh! Sabrina?" The Queen asked in surprise as she peered in the car door.
"Hey Aunt Sophia!" Sabrina beamed.
"Sabrina, darling, hello!" The Queen said in some confusion. "What are you doing here? Agura and I were about to go out to lunch-"
"I heard; that's why I wanted to join you!" Sabrina exclaimed. "I've just been dying to meet darling Eggura here." She smiled sweetly, and Agura returned it with equal sickliness.
"Well, ah, I suppose it would be alright for you to join us-" Sophia agreed.
"Perfect! Thanks Auntie!" Sabrina beamed, patting the spot next to her. "Eggura, have a seat!" She smiled as if to say 'I will never pronounce your name correctly' and Agura smiled back to reply 'I'm only talking to you because I have to and if your mother wasn't here I would not hesitate to slap you right across your ugly British mug'.
"Now, as I was saying," Sophia settled into her seat; the car was spacious and designed so that the three ladies (in Agura's opinion, two ladies and Sabrina) could face each other, "We've got our lunch reservations at noon, and then the spa treatment from two to five, and finally back to the palace for a light dinner, to fit into those dresses," she winked, "And then at seven, the ball!"
"Sounds-"
"Sounds wonderful, Auntie!" Sabrina cut Agura off with a snide look.
"Yes-" Agura was about to add on, but her ringtone cut her off.
Starships-
She snatched it out of her bag and slammed the end button at light speed, as Sophia gave her a confused look.
"Sorry about that." Agura winced, and Sabrina rolled her eyes, when the phone went off again, seeming nearly twice as loud.
Starships-
She pressed her thumb into the button again, but the caller was nothing if not persistent.
Starships-
"Do you need to take that?" Sophia asked in concern as Agura hung up once again.
Starships-
"Oh, no, no one important." Agura shook her head.
Starships-
With an exasperated huff, Agura switched it on to vibrate.
BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BU-
"Good Lord, woman, what could possibly be so important?!" She snapped, whipping the phone to her ear.
"SHERMAN TEXTED MEEEEE!" Elsie's ecstatic voice squealed in her ear. Sophia and Sabrina, who had easily overheard, both raised an eyebrow, and Agura blushed shamefully.
"Okay, well, you were texting him yesterday, too, so what exactly is so important about this one that you had to call me seven times in the middle of my lunch with the queen?" Agura asked pointedly.
"Okay, don't exaggerate, I called you six times, and might I add that it's extremely rude to send people straight to voicemail, because I so totally knew you were ignoring me and wait did you say queen?!" Elsie exclaimed.
"Yes, Elsie, I did, and I'm a little busy with her right n-"
"HI YOUR MAJESTY! I KNOW YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHO I AM BUT IT'S A TOTAL HONOR!" Elsie hollered through the phone, and Agura yanked it away from her ear.
"Elsie!" She brought it back to her ear once she was sure the onslaught had stopped. "What would make you think saying that was a good idea?!" Agura covered the receiver with her hand.
"I am so sorry your Majesty." She said quickly.
"That's…fine. It's, ah, nice to meet you." Sophia said confusedly.
"Nice to meet you too!" Elsie chirped. "Oh my God, Agura, the Queen just said hi to me!"
"Okay, hon, why exactly did you call again?" Agura desperately tried to steer the girl back on track.
"OMG!" Elsie exclaimed. "That's right! Sherman texted me!"
"Yes, and…?"
"What part of 'Sherman texted me' is so hard to understand?" Elsie asked.
"Okay, what's the problem with him texting you? You've been doing it all weekend." Agura pointed out.
"Yes, but Sebastian was here!" Elsie whined. "He left for his mission trip this morning and I totally am going to sound like an idiot without him helping me!"
"I'm sure-"
"Agura, I don't need a 'have confidence in yourself' pep talk, I need you to tell me what to say to Sherman, now." Elsie huffed.
"Okay, what did he say to you?" Agura rolled her eyes.
"'What's upppp!'" Elsie wailed. "Can you believe?! How am I supposed to respond to that?!"
Agura facepalmed. "Okay, um, what are you doing right now?"
"Well, I'm eating lunch, duh." Elsie rolled her eyes. "You know, you're not being very helpful. Maybe I should just call up Sebastian-"
"Why can't you just tell him you're eating lunch?" Agura asked in exasperation.
"Are you joking?!" Elsie screeched. "I can't tell him I'm eating! Why not just respond with a bunch of those little cake emoticons or tell him I'm trying to squeeze into size eighty-three pants?!"
"Okay, Elsie, I think you're blowing this out of proportion-"
"Is that supposed to be a FAT JOKE?!"
"No, Elsie, just-"
"Don't you start this with me, Agura Ibaden, you have no idea how traumatized I am right now!" Elsie snapped.
"Oh my God." Agura rolled her eyes up to the ceiling. "Look, Els, I really don't have time for the long and tragic backstory right now-"
"It was the summer between sixth and seventh grade!" Elsie began dramatically, and Agura sighed.
"I think we're breaking up." She said boredly. "Wait, what's that? I…can't…hello?"
"Oh my God, you are so totally faking-"
"Bye!" Agura chirped, ending the call.
Sophia and Sabrina were staring at her, open-mouthed.
"I am so, so sorry, Sophia." Agura winced.
"Oh, that's fine." Sophia smiled cautiously. "Is she, ah, a friend of yours?"
"Yes." Agura nodded. "She's, um, a little excitable."
"I see." Sophia nodded. "Well, she certainly seems fun-oh, look, we're here!" The car stopped, and Agura exited the car with the other two women, thankful for the distraction.
Dang that Elsie girl and her loveableness.
They were quickly seated at a table and given menus.
"You know, Aunt S, you look so totally super cute today." Sabrina commented as she paged through her menu. Agura snuck a side glance at the queen; she had traded her traditional gaudy ball gown for a sleek pantsuit. Agura mentally nodded in approval. Maybe this family wasn't so bad after all.
"Why thank you, Sabrina!" Sophia exclaimed. "It's so nice to be able to get out of those massive gowns every once in a while, you know?"
"I totes know what you mean." Sabrina nodded, and Sophia winced.
"Sabrina, dear, you know I don't care for all of that teenage slang. Please try to speak like a lady. You know, like dear Agura here." Sophia smiled at Agura.
"Right." Sabrina smiled sweetly, then glared daggers at Agura once Sophia had turned her head. Soon, a waiter appeared and took their orders, they made small talk while Agura and Sabrina pretended to like each other until the food arrived. Agura noticed that Sabrina had ordered coffee.
Hmm…I wonder if lactose-intolerance runs in the family… She thought curiously, and as Sabrina turned to suck up to Sophia, Agura quickly grabbed the pitcher of cream and poured the entire thing in to her coffee mug. Sabrina turned back just as she was setting the creamer down, and Agura gave her a smile. Sabrina rolled her eyes, slightly unnerved, and picked up her mug, taking a long sip.
Agura smiled.
Sabrina had almost finished the coffee by the time their food arrived, and she was looking a little green. She looked down to the plate in front of her and grimaced, clutching her stomach.
"I think I'm going to run off to the loo. Back in a…bit." She managed, quickly hurrying off.
"Hmm. I hope she's feeling alright." Agura murmured in false concern.
"Yes, me too." Sophia nodded, and privately, Agura smirked. She did not see herself as a mean person, but she certainly thought of Sabrina as one, and decided that it was her duty to speed karma's job up a little bit. Sabrina returned almost twenty minutes later, still looking a little nauseated.
"Why, Sabrina, are you alright?" Agura asked worriedly.
"I'm fine." Sabrina shot. "Just a bit of a stomachache." Her plate remained untouched for the rest of the meal.
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"Sabrina, I think it would be best if we dropped you off…" Sophia apologized as they got into the car again. Sabrina, grimacing, simply nodded, and it was the best silence Agura had ever experienced. They drove her back to the palace as she got out of the car without a word, clutching her stomach all the way.
"I do hope she can still attend the ball." Sophia said halfheartedly, and Agura nodded, curious to see that even her own family could get sick of Sabrina's antics. They drove off again, traveling for about ten minutes before pulling up in front of a building with a sign that read 'Luxury Spa: Come in and Relax'.
Agura rolled her eyes.
Not in a million years.
In no time at all she was seated in a large massaging chair, her hands and feet held still with restraints that physically and mentally reminded Agura of handcuffs.
"Now," Sophia was seated next to her, "We've ordered the full treatment; pedicures, manicures, facials and massages, so just sit back and relax! I've been here countless times; they do such a fabulous job."
"Sounds great." Agura forced a smile, clenching her teeth as a woman grabbed her feet, and another her hands. Agura hated spas with a passion, not to mention the fact that her 'massage chair' felt more like an electric one with the hand restraints.
This place smells like a potpourri factory.
Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were invited back.
Okay, A, go facial yourself,
Excuse me?!
And B, I'm here to express the utter disgust and hatred our dear Agura feels for this place.
Well, carry on, but you'll be here for a while.
Alright, first off, what up with the handcuffs? This is a spa, not a torture chamber-
Um, hello? Synonyms?
Right. Thank you, Boregura. Second, have I mentioned that I hate being touched? Like, seriously, I don't want these wrinkly old lady hands all up in my grill! Old is probably contagious! For another thing, they didn't even ask what color I wanted! What if they give me orange? It'll totally clash with my dress, I mean, hello, you're supposed to be stylists! These things are kind of important!
Okay, I'm sure-
AND FOR ANOTHER THING, do they really expect me to just sit here while-OH MY GOD WHAT IS SHE PUTTING ON MY FACE. SHE'S PUTTING GOO ON MY FACE. REPEAT. THERE IS GOO. ON MY FACE! RED ALERT! RED ALERT! SLAP THIS BRITISH MOTHA-
WHOREGURA DON'T YOU DARE!
IT'S ALL OVER MY EYEBROWS! THAT'S DISGUSTING!
Oh no….
And now she's slapping paper all over it?! What am I, a sushi ro-OWWWWWWWWW!
*sigh*
THAT HUUUUUUURRRRRRRT! I'M DYYYYIIIINNNGGGGG!
Will you chill?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CHILL?! MY EYEBROWS WERE JUST TORN OUT!
Not entirely torn out!
Oh, like that's comforting right now!
It's just a wax, God! Haven't you ever had one before?
Okay, you're seriously asking me that? When we share THE SAME BODY?!
Never mind!
Oh, great, now she's putting MORE goo on-Hey! THOSE ARE MY CHEEKS, MORON! WAX THEM AND I'LL WAX EVERY INCH OF YOUR GRAY HEAD!
Oh, for the love of- IT'S A FACIAL, OKAY?! Not a gas mask!
WHAT IS HAPPENING!? I'M BLIIIIIIINNNNNNDDDDDD!
Those are cucumbers, moron!
AHH! VEGETABLES! IT BURNSSSSSS!
Drama queen.
That's drama PRINCESS to you, missy.
Look, it's JUST a spa treatment-
Are there avocados in this? I'm HIGHLY allergic to avocados!
No you're not.
Okay, I'm not, but I don't want them all over my face! They're FULL of fat!
Oh my goodness, was that an actual scientific fact?! Whoregura, I'm impressed!
Well, shucks, and hey, I know my facial ingredients!
Come on, I'm sure these spa ladies know what they're doing.
You're kidding, right? We're essentially wearing first-world handcuffs and blindfolds! There could be a serial rapist in the sauna for all we know!
You need to take a chill pill.
A serial rapist with DRUGS, BOREGURA! Oh, man, this is bad, this is really, really bad!
Will you calm down? You're going to sweat off this mask!
That's kind of the point! SWEAT, WOMAN! SWEAT LIKE THE WIND!
Please….
Okay, they're wiping it off now, thank God.
See? I told you, everything would be fi-
OH MY GOD IT'S ANOTHER ONE! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIIEEEEEEEE!
IT. IS. A. FACIAL.
Facial of death, if you ask me. Two in a ROW?! That screams shady.
You're being ridiculous.
YOU'RE being ridiculous.
Really? We're gonna argue like six year olds?
Would you rather argue like two year olds? Because I have a whole stash of swear words disguised as nonsense!
No, no, six year olds will do.
Well, in that case, yo momma so fat she's on BOTH sides of the family!
Oh my God, I am not doing this.
Does that mean I win?
UGH.
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After her nails were done, Agura's 'handcuffs' were opened, and she was released from her prison of pampering.
PRAISE. THE. LORD.
"Now, just follow me." One of the spa attendants took her wrist.
There's more?! Let go of me, you old crone!
The lady guided her into a dark room with a single cot-like mattress in it.
OHMYGODIT'STHERAPISTWE'REALGONNADIE-
It's just-
I knew it all along, but YOU WOULDN'T LISTEN TO ME!
A MASSAGE TABLE. Good Lord, woman! Spas are supposed to calm you down!
Not me! I, and by that I mean WE, and by we I mean Agura and I, because you clearly are just 'Fearless Francesca' today, HATE spas! And you should too!
Yes, but I'm the LOGICAL personality. So, while I'm disgusted, I'm actually capable of containing my emotions.
…Whatever. Let's just get this massage over with.
Oh, come on, it's our first one! It could be fu-…Did that lady just tell us to take our CLOTHES off?!
IT'S THE RAPISTTTTTTT! RUUUUUUUUNNNNNNN!
GET OUT WHILE WE STILL CAN!
"Would you two shut up?!" Agura hissed as she stepped behind a partition to change. "And Boregura, I'm disappointed in you. You're supposed to be the logical one!"
OHH MY GOD, WHAT IF WE GET ONE OF THOSE 'HAPPY ENDING' THINGS?! FROM THE RAPIST?!
I don't really think that's how it works…
WHATEVER. I'm still terrified at the idea of being naked in a room full of old ladies!
I think it's just the one-
THAT'S EVEN WORSE! NO WITNESSES!
"Oh, chill, they gave us a towel!" Agura rolled her eyes, wrapping it around herself and going to lie down on the table. The spa attendant wheeled out a cart, filled to the brim with lotions, gels and other treatments, and Agura winced, tensing up. She was sure the two 'oreguras' were wrong, but just in case…
Okay, okay, this isn't so bad….
Yeah, it's-OH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MORE GOO?! I thought we were done with this crap!
Alright, I'm seriously about to sedate y-
It's probably just lotion, right? Please tell me it's lotion!
Of COURSE it's lotion, it's all over our legs!
Okay. Okay, okay, okay. I feel better now.
Exactly. See, now she's pressing paper on it so that it…absorbs, or something.
Right. Okay. Juuuust a massage. It's all oka-
RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP!
…
…
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
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Okay, okay, aside from the whole leg-waxing thing…That…was…AMAZING.
And to think, you were terrified!
HEY! YOU were scared too!
I was not!
Okay, whatever. But seriously, we should get those more often! EXCEPT for the leg-waxing thing!
"I told you it would be fine." Agura rolled her eyes; she was changing back into her clothes again after an ah-mazing massage.
Yeah, yeah, MAYBE I overreacted a little. Except for the leg-waxing thing. That was legitimate and acceptable response.
Yeah, OKAY. And hey, I'm hungry!
Ooh, me too! Can we take five?
"Oh, feel free to take more than five."
Hey! In my defense-
Oh, please, you aren't even supposed to BE HERE!
Okay, she hurt my feelings!
Alright, that's it, I'm out. W, what do you want for lunch?
Pancakes sound good! And hey, I'm still mad at you!
*sigh*
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"So, Agura, what did you think?" Sophia asked earnestly. They were back in the car, and with all of the oils stuck on her, Agura felt like she was going to be permanently glued to her clothing. "Don't they just do a lovely job?"
"Yes, they do." She replied.
"Oh, you're absolutely glowing, dear! Those facial really do the trick, don't they?" Sophia clapped.
"Absolutely." Agura forced a smile and nodded.
"I mean, you hardly even need makeup with skin like yours." Sophia continued, and Agura winced at all the praise.
"Actually, I'm not wearing any." She admitted, and Sophia gasped.
"No! Really?" She looked closer, and Agura blushed in discomfort. "Well, look at that! And all this time…well, I certainly wish you would teach dear Sabrina a lesson in natural beauty. She does tend to….overdose." She said carefully, and Agura held back a laugh. "I don't mean to offend the dear girl, but it's true!" Sophia blushed, and Agura lost it, laughing and instinctively holding her hand up for a high five. Sophia looked to her curiously, uncertainly taking Agura's hand and shaking it.
"Oh, no, your Majesty, it's a high five." Agura explained, taking the queen's hand and bringing it to meet her own. "Like that."
"What is the point of this gesture?" Sophia asked in confusion.
"Well, it's kind of like 'Hey, nice one!' or when someone does something really cool. Then, you high-five them." Agura explained, and Sophia nodded unsurely.
"I…see. I think." She said slowly. "Oh, look, it's already almost five! We ought to hurry if we want to be ready for the ball!"
"Oh, yeah. Can't wait." Agura lied.
"Now, just let me know if you need anything at all, dear. Hair, makeup, I'll send someone up with a light dinner, but there will be more than enough to eat in the ballroom." Sophia babbled, and Agura simply nodded as they drove towards the palace.
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"Miss Agura! You look pampered!" Elaina exclaimed the second Agura entered her room.
"Is it that obvious?" Agura sighed, leaning against her door and then thinking better of it, flopping onto the massive bed. She wasn't too fond of the room; it felt awfully stiff compared to her room back home, or at the Hub. Victorian era design, large, grand furniture and heavy drapes. Not nearly as comfortable or homey as her room back in Arizona, or the spacious, child-friendly loft at home, but it was a big bed all the same and even though spas were supposed to be relaxing, she was tired.
"Ooh! You got your eyebrows done, didn't you?" Elaina winked. "You lucky girl! Let me guess, legs too? Oh, and a facial?" She leaned closer. "Two?! AND a massage and nails?!" She shook her head in wonder. "Must be nice to be a princess."
Agura simply gaped at her. "How…on Earth…did you know all of that?"
"It's not so tricky." Elaina shrugged. "Ooh, look, they did your nails to look like miniature flags!" Agura looked down in disbelief to find that all ten of her digits had indeed been transformed into tiny Union Jacks.
Everyone in this country is insane.
"That's just a little over-the-top." She muttered.
"Are you joking? That's NOTHING compared to some of the royal weddings!" Elaina laughed. "So, anyway, it's five o'clock, and we have a LOT to do before this ball!"
"Really?" Agura flopped back onto the soft bed again. "I'm tired! Can't I just like, slap on the dress and go?"
Elaina laughed. "Oh, Miss Agura, your sense of humor certainly is refreshing." She tittered, then paused at seeing Agura's face. "Oh…you weren't kidding."
Agura huffed in exasperation.
"Come on; I'll help you." Elaina tugged at her hand, pulling her into a sitting position. "I've got a few tricks up my sleeve, along with your hair AND makeup duties, of course-"
"Whoa whoa whoa. Hold up, sweetheart. I am not wearing makeup." Agura shook her head firmly.
"But Miss Agura, you must!" Elaina exclaimed. "Everyone in the kingdom will have their eyes on your tonight!
"And good for them, but I won't be wearing makeup." Agura repeated, and Elaina sighed in frustration.
"Fine. At least let me do your hair."
Agura sighed, shrugged, and stood up.
"Dress first." Elaina wagged her finger, and Agura huffed, sulking into the closet. She emerged a few minutes later, stuffed into the gown.
"Look, I found this fashionable little red bow I can't tie on the back." She said, dripping sarcasm as she spun and displayed the massive red bow on the small of her back for Elaina, who laughed and moved to tie it.
"You know, at least it matches your nails." She tried not to laugh, and Agura growled.
"Can I just express how much this SUCKS?" She narrowed her eyes at her reflection in the mirror.
"You can." Elaina replied, pulling her by the elbow into the bathroom and plugging in a few irons. "Now, pull your hair out."
"Of my ponytail?" Agura asked dubiously. She wasn't even sure Vert had seen her hair down.
"No, out of your bank account." Elaina rolled her eyes, then winced at realizing the sarcasm that, around a more pompous royal, could and would get her fired. "Er, sorry, Ponytail will do."
Agura frowned doubtfully, beginning to remove the multiple hair clips, bobby pins, and just about everything else keeping her unruly hair in place. She didn't have the traditional ethnic tight curls, but instead wavier tendrils, but her hair was still very thick and extremely difficult to deal with, at least in her opinion.
"Miss Agura, why on Earth do you contain your hair like this?!" Elaina exclaimed. "It's so pretty down!"
"I contain it because it's frizzier than a Pomeranian and harder to tame than a lion." Agura replied. "And that's coming from someone who has tamed lions!"
"Okay, I'll ask about that later…" Elaina muttered, running her fingers along the counter as if considering which iron to use. "Alright. I think we're going to go for soft curls. You know, cute and innocent with your dress, not the sexy kind. Besides, straight hair simply won't work on your face shape."
"I'm going to act like I know what that means."
"And I'm going to get out a few kegs of hairspray."
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"Can I open my eyes now?"
"No! And quit asking; I'm almost done!"
"It's been over an hour!"
"Oh, please, it's only been forty-five minutes. On an unrelated note, you have a lot of hair."
"Gee, thanks."
"Okay….almost done…." Elaina bit her lip, releasing the last curl.
"So can I open-"
"NOT YET!"
"Why? You said you were done!" Agura protested. "I've memorized the inside of my eyelids!"
"I'm sure that's scientifically impossible, but keep them closed. I have to hairspray you." Elaina instructed, manning a can of hairspray like a machine gun and spraying every inch of her curls with the entire container. "Done!" She announced, and Agura opened her eyes. Her previously-unmanageable hair, now parted from the side, framed her face in soft, wavy tendrils. It was a new experience for Agura, as she literally never did anything with her locks, but she just didn't have it in her heart to be excited.
"Okay. Thanks." She said after a minute, and then stood up to leave the bathroom, which was filled with aerosol fumes. Elaina's jaw dropped.
"That's it?!" She gaped. "I spend an hour on your hair, it looks like you walked out of Vogue, and all you have to say is 'OKAY'?! Excuse me if I'm out of line but that. Does. Not. Happen."
Agura sighed. "Look, Elaina, it looks great, and I'm super thankful, but the truth is I don't want to go to this ball at all, much less look attractive for it."
Elaina bit her lip. "Miss Agura…I get the feeling there's another reason you don't want to marry Stanford. Besides the fact that he's, well, Stanford."
Agura chuckled bitterly. "There are quite a few, sweetheart, but I don't want to drag you into that mess." She sighed. "It's not important. Come on, let's get you ready to go to this thing. Go put your dress on."
Elaina couldn't help it; her face practically glowed with excitement as she dashed into the closet to change. It was past six o'clock, and the girls had forty minutes or so before they had to get in the carriages, or in Elaina's case, sneak into the ballroom. She emerged from the closet in her own version of Agura's dress, and Agura tried not to look to jealous of her petite figure, perfectly straight hair and not to mention much better dress.
"Okay, so we have forty-three minutes to do my hair, your makeup, my makeup-"
"Nice try, girl, I already told you I'm not wearing makeup." Agura cut her off, and Elaina frowned. "Thought you could sneak it in, didn't you?" Agura laughed, and she nodded.
"Oh well, I'll just do mine then." Elaina sighed, knowing the situation was hopeless and going in to the bathroom. Sophia had provided every color, type, and form of makeup for Agura, and since she wasn't going to use it, it only seemed fair that someone did.
"So, what exactly do you have against makeup, anyway?" Elaina asked as she began applying foundation.
"Ugh, what don't I have against it?" Agura frowned. "It's a massive waste of time, and there's just so much of the crap; eyeliner, eye shadow, eyelash curlers, blush, mascara, lipstick, foundation, powder…I can hardly keep it all straight, much less apply it! Besides, makeup is such a self-conscious statement. It's like going out and telling the world, 'hey, I'm not comfortable with how I really look' and most girls only wear it to impress guys, which is again, a massive waste of time."
"Gee, don't hold back." Elaina muttered, and Agura laughed.
"I dunno, I just don't like wearing it. And now it just bugs me, because everyone always wanted to give me a makeover."
"Oh, that's a total girl thing. Everyone wants to put makeup on the girl who never wears it." Elaina explained, tugging at her eyelid and drawing a thin line of eyeliner. "I mean, yes, I want to put it on you as well, but not so much from a cosmetic standpoint."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Agura cocked her head in confusion, and Elaina sighed.
"Well, Agura, you're obviously comfortable with your natural beauty, and I can't tell you how much I hate ruining that for someone," she began, a mascara wand in her hands, "But I think that this ball is all about presentation. And if you don't even care enough to wear makeup to the biggest ball of the century…" She frowned, continuing to stroke as her eyelashes grew longer and darker, "I'm just not sure if you want to make that sort of impression. I mean, those cameras will be trained on you the entire night." She added, setting the mascara down.
"Wait, cameras?!" Agura demanded, trying not to stare at Elaina's eyelashes, which had practically quadrupled in number.
"Oh, yes. News stations from all over Britain will be here." Elaina continued, brushing blue glitter onto her eyelids. "You knew that, didn't you?" She asked curiously, tilting her head at Agura as she set the shadow down.
"No!" Agura exclaimed. "Well, maybe, but it didn't sink in!"
"I bet some makeup would make you feel more confident…" Elaina sang, waving an applicator, and Agura sighed.
"Alright, set me up, but just the absolute basic-"
"Yay!" Elaina squealed and clapped, plunking Agura into a chair. "I'll start with Beauty Base Zero, and we'll go from there."
"Beauty Base what?" Agura asked, but her phone rang, cutting her off. She picked it up and checked the caller ID. "Elsie?"
"Hello." Elsie said shortly. "Thanks for hanging up on me earlier IN THE MIDDLE OF MY LIFE CRISIS."
"Okay, Els, I'm really sorry, but I was with the queen-"
"Agura, I'm kidding! Geez, someone's stressed!" Elsie laughed. "So, what's happening? I responded to Sherman, btw. We totes conversed! I was amazing!" She sang happily, and Agura laughed.
"Who's that?" Elaina asked curiously, and Agura held up a finger.
"Elsie, that's great, but I'm actually getting ready to go to the ball-"
"OMG, no way! I have to see your dress! Do you have Facetime?! I'll switch you over!" Elsie exclaimed, hanging up before Agura could respond.
"She's a friend." She said quickly to Elaina, who nodded as the phone rang again. Agura answered it, admittedly a little surprised to see a close-up of Elsie's face looming on the screen.
"Ooh, too close. Hold on." The screen tilted, and Elsie moved back. "There! Perf-OMG! You look so twee! Who did you hair?"
"That would be my 'personal attendant', Elaina." Agura tilted her phone so that Elsie could see.
"Um, hello." Elaina waved sheepishly.
"OMG, British!" Elsie exclaimed. "Agura, she's so gorgeous! Do they all look like that?" Elaina blushed furiously, ducking away from the screen, and Agura laughed.
"No. No they do not," she said, thinking of Sabrina. "But she's about to do my makeup, so I'm gonna set you on the counter, kay?"
"No way! She actually got you to put makeup on?" Elsie shrieked, looking back and forth between the two (and propped up against a Kleenex box). "Talk about a miracle worker!" Elaina blushed more furiously, sorting through her makeup. "Ooh, can you show me the dress real quick?" Agura stood up, handing Elaina the phone so that she could give Elsie the full view.
"Geez, did they snatch it right off of the flagpole?" She muttered.
"I know, it's bad." Agura sighed, sitting back down. "But look what freaking Elaina the design star did with it!" She exclaimed, taking her phone back and displaying Elaina's knee length gown.
"Oh my God, I totally would not have guessed that was the same dress!" Elsie exclaimed. "It's so…"
"Cute?" Agura laughed, setting her phone back on the counter and laughing.
"Yeah." Elsie admitted. "So can I watch the makeup sesh?"
"Sure." Agura shrugged, sitting back in the chair as Elaina picked up an eye pencil.
"Ow."
"It's just eyeliner; I'm not even pressing that hard." Elaina soothed boredly.
"Owww! Don't rip my eyelashes out!"
"It's just mascara, to have to use a little force."
"Ow!"
"Okay, eyeshadow is not that traumatizing!"
"Well, no, but I thought it was gonna hurt."
"That reminds me, say 'going to' when you're at the ball."
"Ooh, look who's an expert."
"I advise you not to insult the girl with the power to turn you into a circus clown."
"…Well played."
"Aw, you guys could be sisters!" Elsie cut in. "Agura, next time you fly over there, is there room in your suitcase for me? I need to meet some of these Brit kids!"
"Elaina, I can feel you blushing," Agura, eyes still closed, began as Elaina ducked her head, "And Els, trust me, I would give anything to be back home. No offense." She said quickly to Elaina, who shrugged.
"Well I would give anything to be you! A friggin' princess, going to a friggin' ball in friggin' Britain!" Elsie huffed. "I mean, I'm a total Directioner! You can nawt imagine how jeal I am right now."
"I'm gonna act like I understood what you just said."
"A Directioner? Obsessed with One Direction? The uber-cute British boy band?" Elsie implied, and Agura shook her head. "Okay, I worry about you. I really do."
"I'll keep that in mind." Agura laughed. "Hey, Elaina, what time is it?"
"Six forty." Elaina replied crisply. "I'm almost done…there!" She exclaimed proudly, holding a mirror up to Agura's face. Despite being seventeen, Agura had actually never worn makeup, and she was intrigued but still a little apprehensive to see the final result. She examined her reflection closely. Her skin glowed, dark eyelashes framed brown orbs like lush feathers, and golden sparkles-
…
Hold up.
"Elaina, what did I say about basics?" Agura asked suddenly, turning away from the mirror. "Is the gold eyeshadow really necessary?!"
"It was begging to be used on your complexion!" Elaina protested.
"She's got a point, Agura. You look hot." Elsie admitted, and Agura facepalmed (or forehead-palmed in an effort not to smear the makeup).
"Take it off." She finally decided, and Elaina sighed. "Now."
"It really was attractive, you know…" She muttered under her breath, wiping the gold glitter from Agura's eyelids. She managed to remove most of it, but a few stubborn specks still remained, leaving her with what Elsie called 'just the right amount of sparkle. Well, for you. I would totes need ten times that'.
"Okay, I think we're ready." Elaina announced.
"Hey, we should take a picture and send it to Vert!" Elsie exclaimed. "But uh, shoulders and up." She added, reminded of the dress.
"Who's Vert?" Elaina asked curiously. Agura shot Elsie a glare, and she slapped a palm over her mouth upon realizing her mistake.
"He's a…friend. Back home." Agura covered quickly, and Elaina nodded suspiciously.
"I see." She said doubtfully, but fortunately Agura's phone went off again, saving her from having to lie more.
"Oh, crap, Elsie, it's my sister, I'm gonna have to hang up." Agura apologized.
"Fine, fine, twice in one day, I understand." Elsie sighed dramatically. "Kidding! Have fun at the ball, cutie, and you had better call me tomorrow! TTYL!" She laughed and hung up so that Agura could answer Halla's call.
"Hey Hal-"
"Where have you been?! You've been there for over twenty-four hours, Googs, I could kind of use an update!" Her sister cut her off. "Mom hasn't told me a thing; we're an information black hole back here!"
"Sorry, Hall." Agura apologized quickly. "Well, I met the prince, it turns out I know the prince, I met his family, his brother's annoying, his cousin is way worse-"
"Hold up, hold up, you KNOW the PRINCE?" Halla demanded. "Explain, now."
"Okay, well, he's kind of my coworker." Agura winced, waiting for a screech.
"No. WAY."
"And we kind of hate each other. Well, love/hate. You know how it is." Agura added.
"Gura! Like, oh my God, were you ever going to mention this?!" Halla screeched.
"I haven't had time! I'm going to a royal ball in fifteen freaking minutes!" Agura defended, and Halla sighed.
"Oh, Lord. Lordy Lordy Lordy." She murmured. "Okay, well, I guess I don't get the full update, good luck, and you better call me when you get back!"
"I will, I will, I promise, now Halls, I really have to go!" Agura pleaded, and her sister huffed.
"Fine, but I am your sister. You can't ignore me like you do to mom. Remember that now!" Halla teased. "Oh, and also, have fun at the ball, but save the grinding for the afterparty, okay? There'll be cameras there, you don't want to be the wild girl-"
"Halla!" Agura hissed. "It's a ball, not a bar! And I don't do that crap!"
"Okay, just checking!" Halla defended. "I mean, you had a boyfriend for like, five months, who knows what else you haven't told me?!"
"Goodbye, Halla." Agura said firmly, trying not to laugh.
"Oh my God, wait, are you still a virg-"
Agura quickly hung up. "Sorry about that." She said to Elaina, who giggled.
"You keep interesting company."
Agura shook her head in exasperation and amusement.
"Honey, you have no idea."
A/N: So, to recap: Long, hope it was funny, hope you liked it, and school tomorrow yuck. Well, TTFN!
