Chapter 6

Hermione's POV

Stop blubbering, he's gone. I told myself this several times, but could not staunch the flow of tears.

He doesn't have this control over you, don't give him the satisfaction…A second later I realized that was pointless; he had already seen my terror. Nonetheless…It was several minutes before I regained control over myself. Once I did, I crawled back into bed, pulling the covers up around my shoulders.

Curling into a ball on my side, I thought about what had just happened.

Was it true? Or was it just a game he wanted to play? Some sick twisted game, where he makes me believe this plot, and then hurts me again? Could it be true?

I took a deep breath, and forced my mind back to the end of last term. To that night…

His voice, his touch, the way he moved…Maybe it wasn't him. Think about what you're saying, Hermione. How his eyes had gleamed with satisfaction, watching me lay broken at his feet…He wasn't that - that - cruel. He's your enemy! The strength with which he had thrown me around…That wasn't him. He was too strong, almost unnatural. He's an arrogant bastard! What he was…While he was…That wasn't a boy. Only a man, well practiced in the ways of cruelty and torture could take that much delight from such an act. He's evil, he's twisted, a jerk, worthless, and he deserves to rot in hell!

The way he had treated me just now…He had felt pity for me. While I had sat, defenseless in the corner, he had stayed on the other side of the room. He had not tried to intimidate me. What if…?

I struggled furiously with myself, trying to think logically.

If you didn't hate him, a small voice in my head said, if you didn't already think he was a git, what would you believe? Would you believe him, based on this solitary act?

Yes, I answered grudgingly, but that's mental! You don't throw away everything you already know about somebody, just because you want to give them an excuse!

The realization hit like a wrecking ball. Just to give them an excuse…I wanted him to have an excuse. I wanted it to be somebody else's fault, anyone else's. Why? Why not him? It wasn't like this would be the first time he treated me like scum. It would just be another bulletin point on the long list of reasons why I hated Draco Malfoy. So why? Why? Why…?

"Because I do believe him. He doesn't need an excuse, because it wasn't him. His father used him…" A surge of pity for Draco swelled. That was a new feeling. I uncurled from my ball and got up. I needed to see the headmaster.

XxXxXx

I sneaked a glance at Draco for what seemed like the hundredth time. He looked…Scared. Well, he had good reason to be. He was siding with me, a Mudblood, against his own father. His very powerful, well-connected father. If he wasn't scared, he would be an idiot.

All the pompous, arrogant, selfish attitude seemed to be stripped from him. What was left was a scared little boy. I thought about this for a second and then sneaked another look at him. He caught my eyes and gave me a nervous smile.

I cleared my throat.

He coughed.

I looked at my watch. Professor Dumbledore had been gone an awfully long time.

"This must be terrible for you."

I looked over, startled.

"Oh…Well I guess…You too you know…I mean…" the words I wanted to say were getting stuck in my throat. I cleared it and tried again. "It must be hard for you too, it being your father and all. I mean, at least what happened to me wasn't someone I liked…Your father, not you…Not that I like you…" I was blushing, and knew I must sound like an idiot. I took a deep breath. "It must be hard for you too."

He just nodded, and silence took over.

I studied my fingernails, wishing Dumbledore would come back.

Then I heard him shift in his chair and looked up.

He was facing me more directly now, and looked as if trying to decide whether or not to say something. I waited.

"Listen, how are you, you know, with the…The baby and all that?"

"Oh."

I said, surprised. Then, not knowing exactly why, I said, "I'm okay, I guess. All the pregnancy stuff—morning sickness, dizziness, soreness—well, that's not fun. My mum had to keep buying me ginger nuts over the holidays. They help with the nausea."

"Oh…"

Draco looked uncomfortable, and I wondered if I had volunteered more information than he wanted. Then I wondered why this mattered to me.

As I looked at him I was reminded of that night. It was him…But not him. I could tell he was very unsure of himself. In a strange way I didn't want to think too hard about, it was kind of sweet.

Dumbledore's door opened and we both looked around.

"Sorry to keep you both waiting so long," Dumbledore said while settling himself at his desk. "It took longer than it should have."

Dumbledore exhaled and surveyed us. "I'm afraid Cornelius is being most stubborn about the whole matter."

"So there's not going to be a hearing?" Draco interrupted loudly.

"Please let me finish, Mr. Malfoy. As I said, Mr. Fudge is being stubborn, but after a few reminders about laws, has agreed to a preliminary hearing. I must tell you both—I do not expect it to go well. Fudge is scared of what might happen to him if he accuses Lucius of such a thing."

It was funny how nobody could say the word rape. Such an ugly word.

"Accusing Lucius will be dangerous. I will stand behind you both, but you need to understand-Lucius has powerful friends. Very powerful."

I looked at Draco. His face was set.

"I want to do this," he said. "If Hermione still wants to, of course."

Trying not to show the jolt I had received when he said my first name, I nodded.

"Very well then. The hearing is scheduled for the day after tomorrow. We will all go together."

I stood up. I needed to think some more. "Thank you, Professor." As I left, I caught Draco looking at me. It took me a long time to figure out that look, and when I did, I wasn't sure how I felt about it. From that look, I knew Draco Malfoy admired me. The question was, how did I feel about him?