GO THE USED! SO CREEPY BUT LOVE THEM. THANK YOU MICK ST. JOHN FOR SHOWING ME THEM. GO MOONLIGHT!

There is a bright light in my face.

"What is that?" I groan and I hear Jacob laugh.

"Hey Bella, how do you feel?" He asks.

I open my eyes and, of course, I'm in the hospital. My head feels heavy but other than that I feel ok.

"Annoyed. Why aren't we at home?" I ask him, blinking against the light.

"Do you remember what happened?" He asks.

"No, do I really care? No. Can we just go?" I beg him.

He grabs my hand with both of his huge warms ones.

"You kind of freaked out Bells. You were half awake, screaming about your bones. Then about Edward. You wouldn't let me help you. I pushed you down on the couch till you were just crying. I ran you here. Half way here you got a really bad nose bleed and Carlise met me as close as he could. You scared us Bella." He says, studying my face.

I remember. I remember my bones feeling like they were on fire. I am suddenly grateful he can't read my mind.

"I don't remember. Thank you Jake." I whisper, suddenly very tired.

"Goodnight Bells." He kisses my forehead and I fall into darkness.

We get to go home the next day.

"I think you should go see Charlie." Jacob says when I ask him what we should do today.

I just nod and drive home.

Charlie gives me a big hug when I get home,

"Hey Bells, Jacob called me and I was so worried." He says.

I nod and go to my room. The box Sisten found sits on my desk.

Don't go there Bella. The voice says.

I find a new strength, anger maybe. I grab the box and the messed up radio and get in my truck and let my self remember what I have been trying to forget.

A crash. A field. Edward. I stop at that one. Keep going.

"I will love you everyday of forever." (I THINK THATS WHAT IT IS. SORRY IF Isn't RIGHT!)

After I saved him. "I'm sorry Bella, I have to go. Thank you but this doesn't change anything." What he told me after I pushed him out of the light.

"You don't want me? O.k. Have it your way. Have a good forever." I remember I spit that at him and willed myself to walk away, away from the bell tower, away from the crowds of people, away from him.

I'm here. The same big white house. I smile and park. I grab the stuff, turn off my other radio. The Used stops screaming. (I LOVE THEM! THANK YOU MICK ST. JOHN!)

I walk up his front yard and throw the box and radio with a gratifying crash through their living room window. Smirking, I wait a minute till someone comes out to see what happened. He does, with a shocked look on his face.

"Bella?" He almost whispers but I can still hear it.

I stand there, shaking almost with anger, waiting for him to do something. Someone else comes out of the house. Tanya. I almost scream. I will not break again.

"What was that Edward?" She asks, pulling her arms around his waist.

Now I am shaking and no matter what I do it won't stop.

He crawls like a worm, crawls like a worm from a bird.

The lyrics shout in my head and suddenly I laugh.

Like a worm from a bird.

She watches me and knows, knows everything about me. Who I am, what I'm doing here and when I intend to get out of this visit.

CRAWLS LIKE A WORM FORM A BIRD. All he knows,he can't relive it, it grows.

What if that worm fell in love with that bird. Running away would have saved it's life. Too bad it didn't.

Tanya smiles at me and nods.

"Nice to see you." She says.

I nod and push up my sleeves, like I'm ready to fight her. Edward gasps, he sees the bruises and probably smells the cancer. I laugh again, softly.

"You too. I was just returning something. Sorry, I missed his head." I say, smirking.

He goes pale. He can tell. I laugh again and salute her.

"When I die in a couple months, I just wanted to make sure I gave it all back, not remembering someone is hard if they hide their stuff under your floor." I explain.

She stares at me then Edward and she moves, taking one perfect arm away from his hips. I see a big diamond ring, my stomach lurches and I fight to not be sick or faint or both.

She nods, she knows I saw. It was her objective.

"Are you ok?" She asks.

Am I? Differently not. To what she's asking...still no.

I nod. My legs have gone numb. Somehow I stumble a couple steps forward then mentally kick myself and step back. Edward. My chest is exploding. I winch and pray I stay this locked down till I can get to my my car. I don't think I am gonna make it. The world goes fuzzy and I start apologizing before it happens. I am fall and flying at the same time. I want to scream and shut up. I want to be in a crowd but all alone. Its black and I suck in air that never hits my lungs. Why can't I breath? I fall to the cold ground and it feels amazing. Solid and cold. Im so light and burning. Let me sleep. Please let me sleep.

I scream one last time and let the pain take me under.

"Bella?" Someone is standing above me in this comfortable room.

It's dark and warm and soft and my bones hurt so much. I whimper once and move my neck.

"I just need to check your pulse and stuff. It will take jut a minute, can you sit up?" Carlise whispers.

His voice is still to loud. I wince again and he gently pulls me up to his arms, where he can check my breathing and pulse and temp.

"There's a infection and it hit your lungs." He says, still listening to my lungs.

I cough once and winch, he does to so it must not sound good.

"I'm going to put you on some antibiotics. Drink tons of water and sleep. I can give you some meds for that if you can't fall asleep and more the pain." He says, when he's done he writes something down and hands me a plastic cup with 3 pills and a glass of cold water.

When I'm done I cough then take a deep breath and he frowns.

"Cough again, this this time don't take a breath." He instructs.

I can't do it. He puts me on oxygen and I lay back down and listen to the hum of the machine and the drip of the IV he added after he heard my lungs. As I drift off to a peaceful and comfortable sleep, someone walks in my door way, the light from the hall makes a focus point and I blink awake and watch them. I fight sleep and snuggle deeper into this big bed under it's soft comforter.

I wake up after I don't know how long and try to remember where I am. Oh yeah. I climb out of bed and pull the oxygen mask off and look around the room, its very dark, there are huge curtains in front of the windows, theres a closet and a table with a mirror above it. I'm wearing soft shorts and a tank top.

I grab my IV pole and slowly walk down the hall. I feel light and fragile and completely empty. No one is around. Good.

"Oh good, you are up. I called your dad, he said you should stay here for a little bit. He will visit tomorrow. Feel better?" He asks, smiling,

"Yeah, where is everyone?" I ask.

"Out. I told them I needed some time with you with out them interfering." He explains.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to end up like this. I should have just have left that box on the step. I was just mad. I can pay for the window." I say.

"Oh there's no need for that. All fixed and I don't blame you. I expected you to bomb our house no less through something through the window. I'm glade you came so I could find the infection in time." He says.

"Oh, right." I say, smiling and he laughs.

"Want something to eat?" he gestures to the table.

I sit at the bar, watching him work. While he makes me a sandwich I sip root beer.

"Am I better than?" I ask.

He gives me a look and I smile. "You know what I mean."

"The depression or the infection?" He asks.

How did he know? "Both." I say,

"Depression, I think you will be. Infection, I don't know. I think you should stay here till we know for sure. If you want everyone to stay away I can make sure they do." He says.

"No, I think I do want them here. Rose knows. I think it will help." I say slowly.

"Good. I'll call them after you are done." He sits next to me.

"Why didn't they do anything?" I ask, staring at the bubbles in my soda. (hate the word pop)

"I don't know. You should ask them," He says.

I nod. When I'm done I go back to my room and call Jacob.

"Bella! Are you ok?" He asks when I call.

I tell him what happened and he screams.

"Why didn't that bloodsucker help you? Im coming to get you." He says,

"No. It's fine. I have some infection. I'll be over soon." I say.

"OK, I love you Bella." He says and my hear takes off.

"Oh Jake! I love you to." I say slowly.

I hear him laugh and I want to cry.

"I'll see you soon Baby Girl." He promises.

"I know. I miss you." I whisper.

"I miss you to. I have to go but I'll pick you up whenever they let you go. I love you." He says

"Ok, by Jake." I whisper and hang up.

I am suddenly very tired and fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. I am surrounded by warmth and darkness and comfort and I couldn't be happier because Jake loves me, he isn't ever going to leave me.

OK SO I KNOW I HAVE A LOT TO EXPLAIN HERE I GO..this has happened to me. Someone left me and this is how I feel or felt. No one I know has cancer. I get panic attacks and the only thing that keeps me form running around my house like a crazy person is remembering (sorry if you don't believe in God OR anything so if you don't skip down vv. I'm christian so I'm REALLY sorry if you don't think this so just a warning incase..) that God loves me. "Daddy loves you, he isn't ever going to leave you. Because Daddy loves you." I just repeat it till I'm calm. I added that in kinda with the Jake thing at the end.

Do you get where I'm coming from with this Ch? If you don't PM me and I can help. The Used is a band I found in a video from a show called moonlight. Yes it's about Vampires but its not like twilight. Its legit. Check it out. I love mick st john and u might to. I love music and it help me write. Superchick, eminem, the used, linkin park. Let me know and if I can help with anything. Please review!

Lots of love, Sissybaylie.