"Why did you marry" the question off hand yet deliberate as they sat watching the fire dance strange shadows between the trees surrounding a half build house.

Yillana let out a small laugh shooting Ragan a puzzled smirk"are you suggesting I made a poor decision Gaidin."

Her warder provided no answer only stared back face hard, impassive, his bond a jumble of different emotions, all resembling jealousy

"I was joking" she assured after a moment, concerned. Yarrin would deliver a quip back before the sentence left her lips, but his cousin said little, save for these moments when some spirit moved him to question, even pry.

"Yes Aes Sedai" so quiet she could barely hear "I do have a sense of humor"

"Just one rarely used " Yillana whispered back leaning in to take his arm, ignoring the brief tense of muscles and the shift to not have her leg intertwined with his.

"There is little to laugh about some days."

"Ah yes" - she spoke to the fire, "but here we are, so a laugh is warranted, if only at the irony. Better men and women than us fought, but they are not content - if a little cold."

At that the warders cloak borrowed from Yarrin draped over her shoulders Ragan pulling her in to make use of his body heat, "and for that I am grateful" sound reverberating in his chest where she sat shielded from the fall night.

"But you're restless,"

He shifted, Yillana looked up watching the fire play across his face hiding what she now knew as jealousy "among other things."

His grip tightened, she felt him nod "among other things."

"That couldn't possibly have to do with my husband"?

The pain at Yarrin's mention, gone as quickly as it arrived more a confirmation of her growing suspicion then if he confessed aloud. Ragan kept his silence and held her closer, safe in the knowledge he did it for warmth, not his own pleasure.

"What do you propose we do then" question floating into the night air, she expected no answer his confession tonight a courtesy.

"Arad Doman is far away," five words simple enough, their implication a complex web she sat unwilling to tackle despite the visceral response they garnered. Halfway across the world, she could barely feel Yarrin, only his strongest emotions, often frustration stirred in the corner of her mind paling in comparison to the overwhelming sensations from Ragan.

So strong was his want, sweeping along to magnify her similar desires all the while tugging at the slow impression made on her heart. A terrifying prospect, Yillana desperately squashed, but not before he took notice. Tipping her back Ragan watched for an eternity before covering her mouth with his own the kiss gentle, hesitant.

"More of your seldom used humor"? she breathed after they broke apart, his smile in response brief, and so unexpected she couldn't help but return the look, warm, confused. The next kiss held no hesitation hand tracing from her jaw to collarbone trailing fire across skin as she kissed him back for a time lost to herself. Somehow ending to face her warder kneeling between his legs they broke apart breathless, Yillana flushed, Ragan bereft of his usual hard exterior hands wandering down to trace the swell of her hips then to the small of her back.

"You are tired Aes Sedai" he murmured leaning in, their foreheads pressed together her arms around his neck.

"How very astute of you" she whispered back pulling away ever so slightly "would you see to my things then, it's too beautiful a night to sleep in a half-built house, I wish to see the stars.


As if they were moments from being caught one hand covered her mouth muffling a startled gasp cool night crawling up bare legs. Warm and insistent his other hand led her to those poorly suppressed moans drawing circles, moving in time with her hips before entering her rubbing back and for then crooking forward. Arching into his touch Yillana groaned gently bitting fingers that attempted to silence her as his pace quick-end no sound escaping as she reach a shuddering climax.

"We are alone you know" great effort exerted to keep herself silent as she came down no longer used to conducting these activities in secret

Her warder dipped his head to kiss down her neck, "we are never alone" breath hot in her ear wet fingers running up her side, dress loosening almost of their own accord Yillana exposed to her waist.

She knew what he meant but that pinprick on her conciseness palled in comparison to the feel of deft hands trailing her body, a deep hum sending vibrations through her chest as he captured a breast between his teeth.

Yillana bit her lip tasting blood nails scraping along the back of his neck.

"Would you have me silent then" she hissed finding it difficult to form words a certain warm limpness settling in her bones despite which she managed to brush a foot against the straining laces of his trousers a low groan breaking free through his insistence on quiet.

Still fully dressed contesting with bunched skirts now hiked up past her waist Ragan moved up to her mouth fevered as if he would never again be offered the chance. Each gasped as the other explored so consumed by a shared desperation any need for silence lost, Regan moving into her touch pants hastily pulled over his hips. Palm flat to his chest Yillana pushed, her warder sitting up without a fight, bond growing hazy as she took him in hand. Each move, faster, slower, her grip tightening, then releasing him entirely surged between them. She felt each jolt, bringing him closer and closer until on the brink head bowed Ragan grabbed her wrist.

"Ginny"

Never had a name ignited such terror, where she not half blind with lust she would have screamed. Instead she avoided lifting her head, half heartedly resisting his grip until Ragan traced a rough hand over her jaw forcing them face to face.

"Yillana" he tried again feeling her sudden apprehension worsening his own "I can't- we cannot, you...

"Have made our bed" she straddle his lap feeling his length against her stomach and rocked her hips forward imagining Ragan inside of her "so intend to lie in it".


Filtering through a canopy open to the night sky stars illuminated their campsite. Though not asleep Ragan lay quiet leaving Yillana to her thoughts, tumultuous and confused as they were, soothed somewhat by his slow rhythmic breathing.

Clad in a portion of her dress the rest piled by her head, when discarded in haste Yillana rolled ever so slightly making contact with the wall to her right. That wall grunted stiff from lying exposed to the damp without sufficient covering; her requested night under the stars giving little thought to the season and its climate changes. Warm as they were then, now apart Ragan gave up his blankets to keep her from shivering, but froze himself; every old wound not properly healed or stiff muscle known to cause some discomfort out in force.

Eight years ago in the ashes of a burnt village, practically a lifetime. To think she'd fought Yarrin tooth and nail when he suggested making the displaced solider, who just happened to be his cousin, her second warder. Far beyond him to lie in an attempt to sway her, calming a very capable stranger his relation smelled of such a scheme. Sufficiently cowed was she when Ragan corroborated the story under oath then preceded to save both their lives standing back to back with Yarrin against a squad of White Cloaks.

So smug that she'd wished to spit in his eye Yillana endured her husband's quiet triumph until she grew to like their unwanted traveling companion, try as she might to find some quality on which to dismiss him. In hindsight Ragan should have left while he had the chance, a spectator to their madness he coined himself in the early days the man sat through some of her and Yarrin's worst arguments, never taking a side, a mediator, or just a wall if matters became too heated. More than once he regretted excepting her offer, she felt it, and it saddened her, for he was a wonderful man, a faithful warder. For that reason she realized removing one of the blankets to cover Ragan, her affection may have gone beyond behaviour expectable between Aes Sedai and Gaidin.

Did it pose a problem?

Yillana lay still heart heavy, she did not know, neither of them did. For while quiet and stoic, the bond sat alive in the back of her mind radiating apprehension, the restlessness constant since they'd settled.

On the move since he could remember Ragan balked at the idea of staying in Andor though he followed as would any good warder, putting her needs first, each time Yarrin left for Tar Valon or this time to Arad Doman working for Olywn, he longed to go.

To leave his jealousy behind she wondered, but Ragan was not a petty man, nor one lacking in self-control, this restlessness was just his nature. Now more than ever she concluded, such desires could be of use in remedying others, more specifically the ones so foolishly given into this night. While far from unheard of or even unexpected, Yarrin was her husband, their relationship deserved a certain amount of exclusivity.

So away he would go she thought, the solution uncomfortably close to running the longer she mulled it over, but Ragan would understand, even agree, similar considerations troubled his mind.


Her nose was wet, an odd sensation to wake up too but sitting wrapped in three blankets that somehow found their way back to her Yillana understood. Sun just peeking over the top of their clearing dew covered the grass and whatever happened to lay in it, drops of water sliding down her nose as she stood to turn in a slow circle. This province in Andor was beautiful, their particular portion secluded void of anything save woodland life, and the occasional hunter. Yillana revelled in the freedom, her shawl and ring now nothing more than a bargaining tool, currency put to use by Olywn in her ongoing struggle against the Seanchan. A man carrying Olywns messages guaranteed at the very least passage through roadblocks serving forkroot tea. Hesitant as she was to send Yarrin, and now Ragan, money did not grow on trees, else she would be a wealthy woman owing to the thousand that populated north wood.

Up before the dawn, if he'd slept, Ragan stood among their half-built house walking a slow circle, surveying each wall in turn.

"Will it survive the winter" she called bare feet rustling in the grass to join her warder in the inspection of piled wood and stone.

"Hum" he shook his head - light if I'd know that said and Yillana couldn't help but agree. Mr. Berry, their closest neighbour offered his assistance in raising the frame both a kind yet intrusive gesture. Though he promised to return, Hammond and his oldest son seldom came to call after the bulk of the outer work saw completion, fields needed tending and with twins on the way the Berry household bacame a hive of activity.

"We could always winter in Arad Doman" Ragan shot her a sharp look "if the roof caves in - and speaking of Arad Doman."

She cut to the chase presented her solution blunt and straightforward "I would send you next time" Yillana ventured "and every time after, not just to the East but Tar Valon, the borderlands, where ever she needs you."

"Honour to serve"

Stopping his trek halfway around the perimeter Yillana dug nails into Ragan's arm placing herself in his path "it is a choice Gaidin, not an order."

"Yes, Yillana Sedai" a bow as he pulled away continuing his inspection purposefully sidestepping any intended conversation to make her feel the petulant child pressing a matter previously resolved.

Miming a kick as his backside Yillana let him go turning away to rekindle the fire and don what remained of her dress. Wrinkled though no worse for wear the garment became increasingly difficult to fasten as she stewed, frustrated with more than tiny buttons.