Sephiroth the Cheese God
Rating:
PG
Genre: Comedy
Setting: Who
knows?
Main Characters: Sephiroth (Duh)
Note from the Authoress: erm…yeah, sorry about Sephiroth's song being so lame! My poetry stinks at the moment….I'm so happy though! My friend Light1 told me she loved that I made Cloud lactose intolerant! This parts a bit odd…and I just thought I better point out the Cid in the story is a different Cid, not the one from the game! Anyways, to the story!
Part 7
Sephiroth was starving. And, coincidentally, drunk. Well, maybe the drunkenness wasn't such a coincidence. All that there was to eat on the ship was fish. Sephiroth, not liking fish, had replaced food with rum, of which there was a large stock in the kitchens. The fact that he was drunk also made life aboard the ship easier, as there was little to do, and Cid was causing problems at every turn, or so it seemed to Sephiroth. Still, the skies were bluish in colour for the most part, and the sailing seemed smooth. Sephiroth barely arose from his drunken stupor, yet on this day, miraculously, he did.
Blinking in the harsh sunlight, he vaguely wondered how far it was home. He also wondered if he should have left some food for the cows. Still, that was only a fleeting thought. Right now, the only major thing on his mind, besides his thoughts of world domination, was wondering how on earth Reno got to be aboard a pirate ship. He could see no particular reason why one of his skills should be caught by a bunch of stupid pirates. Of course, he, Sephiroth, had been caught, but that was all a part of his spectacular plans. Honestly. Still, he couldn't find any plausible explanation, so he entertained himself by wandering around the deck singing a little shanty he made up as he went along.
Oh, I'm the captain of the sea
And the emperor of cheese
I am a God that's what I am
Roquefort, Swiss, Blue and Edam!
Cloud was pacing around the slums in Midgar. This was torture! Complete torture! Everyone he met had given him words of encouragement, expressing their belief that he could defeat Sephiroth easily. If only they knew his secret. They wouldn't be so confidant in his ability then. But if he couldn't stop Sephiroth, was there anyone who could? He dreaded the thought of his friends finding out that he would be no help in a battle this time.
Sephiroth glared at Cid. He was certain that the bastard was planning mutiny behind his back. If it were possible for slaves to mutiny. That Cid was too fond of his freedom. Sephiroth was angry that he couldn't do anything about that at the moment, but he couldn't afford for the other three to turn against him. Still, Cid could easily meet with an unfortunate, cow-related accident. Just not yet. Partly because Cid was the only one on the ship who knew anything about sailing, and partly because there weren't actually any cows on the ship. With a sigh, he slumped against the mast. A slight smile crossed his face. At least things were looking up. Not that long ago the mast would have probably broken when he slumped on it. Inspired by the lack of things going wrong, he stood again, a slight swagger returning to his step. He headed over to Boris. He was the only person Sephiroth felt he could talk to at this moment in time. He wasn't prepared to speak to Reno just yet, and Cid was an obnoxious git. So he approached the man at the helm. It was only at this point that he realised that Boris had never uttered a word to his knowledge. Sephiroth stood near the helm, wondering how best to engage Boris in conversation.
"Erm, so, ah, do you think I should get my hair cut?" Sephiroth blinked. He couldn't believe he just asked that. Boris stared at him, and Sephiroth bristled angrily. There was no need for him to look like that. Sephiroth flicked his hair back. Well, he didn't need to talk to people anyway. He turned to leave.
"It looks fine long, but maybe you should consider dying it!" Sephiroth stopped in his tracks. Had Boris just given him advice on how to style his hair? Well, at least the man was talking. He turned back.
"Really? You think so? But I always thought silver looked more powerful."
"Maybe, but if your moving onto new schemes then perhaps a new hair colour would stir up some interest." Sephiroth considered this. It did make some sort of sense. New levels of evil, new image. He pulled a few strands of his hair over his shoulder and examined them.
"So, er, what colour would you recommend?" Sephiroth asked, trying to be nonchalant. He couldn't really imagine his hair in any other colour. Boris stared at his hair for a while.
"Maybe red. Deep red."
"You think? But surely black is far more sinister"
"Yes, but not really that different. Very few super villains have deep red hair" Sephiroth nodded.
"Well, ok then. How long before we hit shore?" Boris turned his gaze from Sephiroth's hair to the sky.
"Maybe two or three hours" Sephiroth blinked again. Not to long then. He nodded.
"Well, keep on course. I'm gonna go make preparations for land." he turned and stalked off. That Boris was a nice guy. Nice in an evil sort of way. He wondered if he could pick up some hair dye at the town where they planned to land. Amazing, he thought, I never would of thought of changing my appearance.
He neared the cabin doors and was about to enter when they flew open. Reno was standing just behind the door. He gave Sephiroth an odd look before hurrying out onto the deck. Sephiroth could see Cid standing a little way away, a frown on his face. He briefly wondered what was wrong with Reno, but decided he didn't have time to debate on it. He went below deck to sort out some plans.
END OF PART 7
