A/N: I probably should have said this at the beginning. I've been writing these as if Dean's been writing letters to Sam or something like that for Sam to read one day, not that he's actually saying this to Sam right now. That's why it's just Dean talking. Because we all know that Dean doesn't like chick flick moments, and only takes part in them under extreme stress.
I Was There…The First Time…
May 2nd 1984.
Your first birthday.
I don't really remember why, but we spent it up in the mountains.
Dad had to meet with some guy or something.
About some stuff.
Which now I assume was something to do with hunting.
We stayed in this small cabin.
It was really pretty outside.
Well I thought so any way.
Everything was green.
The trees, the grass.
Green.
Birthdays were hard for dad, all special occasions were.
Reminded him of all that mum was missing, all that they should have been able to share together.
But he tried.
He got you presents.
A new ball, blocks, toy cars, a new teddy bear.
He got you a cake.
We put a candle on it and sat around the small table to sing happy birthday to you.
You were so excited.
You clapped your hands and laughed.
And tried to sing along with us.
Then we all ate some cake.
You had it all over your face.
And your hands.
And the table.
You were having a great time.
You got cake.
And toys.
And lots of attention.
It was easy to keep you a happy back then.
To keep the smile on your face.
The laughter in your eyes.
I wish it were that simple now…
I drew you a picture.
Dad helped me write Happy Birthday, Love Your Big Brother Dean.
I drew our family, you, me, dad and mum.
I didn't want you to forget what she looked like.
I didn't want you to forget her.
My artistic abilities didn't do her justice.
You know I found that picture tucked away in Dad's journal.
With my crooked two inch writing at the top.
He kept it for you, for me, for him.
After you finished your cake, you fell asleep in your high chair.
Dad wiped your face and hands and put you into bed.
I crawled in beside you.
Cake makes you sleepy.
I wrapped my arms around you.
It was easier to sleep when you were close.
You were so small back then.
So easy to keep safe.
To protect.
I wish it was that simple now…
Please review.
