Tatsumaki fidgeted in her king sized bed. It had been a long and eventful day. First the damn cyborg showed up and just had to piss her off, then came along the weaklings that called themselves the "House of Evolution", then a bloody meteor, and to top it all off, she couldn't even vent her frustration on the beetle because the stinking Baldy insisted on toying with him. She had to admit though, it was one of the least boring days she had, even with the grocery shopping. Ugh, she hated seeing a supermarket, much less going in one. All the noise, the people, the...waiting. She was so done with it, she flew off immediately after getting the Baldy a discount.
The ESPer checked her alarm clock once more. 6.30am. Only 10 minutes had passed since she woke up from a nightmare. Oh how she hated that word with every fiber of her body. She is the great "Tornado of Terror", powerful enough to move the damn earth out of orbit if she wanted to and yet, she had nightmares. Oh well, she would have to wake up in an hour anyway, no point in trying to go to sleep.
The heroine put on her fluffy slippers and headed to the bathroom to brush her teeth. As she did, she wondered what she should do for the day. Normally she'd go take on some monsters for fun but lately all the tough ones had seemingly disappeared, and all the demon level threats were far too weak to entertain her for more than a few seconds. Plus, they had the tendency to monologue for what seemed to be forever which only further worsened her mood. As she dipped herself into an already full bathtub, her mind drifted off. Woops, looks like she needed more sleep than she realised. Damn supermarkets and their tiring effect on her brain.
Tatsumaki awoke 10 minutes later. The water in the tub had started to get cold. Scolding herself for nodding off like that, she quickly dried herself off and put on her hero clothes and headed to the kitchen to grab some breakfast. Grabbing a carton of milk and a jar of cookies, she sat herself down on her sofa and switched on her tele with her powers.
The heroine munched on her cookies and sipped at her milk as she flipped through the available channels, hoping to kill time until the next call from the association, when a certain scene caught her attention.
"There, enjoy your groceries octopus, I'm going home."
"See ya Tats! Thanks for the discount!"
"Sensei, allow me to carry all of these back home."
"You don't have to carry all of them Genos, I've got two functioning arms after all."
"I understand Sensei, I should not have underestimated you."
"Th-thats not what I meant dude! I'm just saying that I don't wanna burden you when I can do it myself."
The dedicated cyborg disciple whipped out his notebook to jot down more of Saitama Sensei's wisdom.
"Sensei may look normal, but he has enough wisdom to fill up hundreds of notebooks. I am so glad I'm your disciple."
"Though, I could use some help. I wouldn't want to drop any of these by carrying them all."
"Of course Sensei!"
As the two of them headed out of the supermarket, each carrying 4 plastic bags, filled to the brim with udon noodles, seaweed, meat and, most important of all, cabbage. The amount of food was surprising, especially if it's all just for two people, but Saitama figured Tatsumaki might want to visit them, so he got extra. Plus, he didn't really know how much food Genos needs. And besides, with all the hero work he would be looking forward to, he might need more nutrients than before. Yeah, better safe than sorry he figured.
Before the two even moved 5 meters away from the supermarket, a kunai aimed at Saitama's chromedome was caught in the man's fingers.
"Who dares attack Saitama Sensei!"
A weirdly feminine guy with a ponytail, purple... war paint I guess, under his eyes, and a sheathed sword hanging from his belt dropped from the roof above in front of them.
"Oh, you're that guy! Eh... what was your name... 'Seed in the ground'? No, uh, 'Lost and found'? OH of course! Jack-o-lanter pani-"
"It's 'Speed of sound Sonic'. Saitama, I've finally found you."
"Sensei, who is this man with a redundant name, and why do you know each other?"
"Oh, he's just some guy I met while I was trying to find the Paralysers. He tried out some moves on me before I... accidentally hit his groi-"
"ENOUGH! Saitama, today is the day I defeat you, and regain my honour!"
"Sensei, as your disciple, I will deal with this fool so that your precious time is not wasted."
"Eh, no need Genos. He probably just wants to test some moves again, I don't want you roasting the guy, especially in this crowded area. Here, get our groceries back home safe and sound. Oh, and prepare some hotpot, I'm starving!"
"Of course Sensei, I will not fail this task you have assigned me!"
Genos took the groceries from Saitama, and rushed to his Sensei's apartment to prepare his meal. Leaving just Saitama and Sonic.
"How stupid of you to chase away your robot bodyguard Saitama. Your stupidity will be the dea-"
"So uh, look Tonic, I'm kinda hungry right now after all that grocery shopping, maybe we could meet some other day for you to try your moves, okay? See ya."
The bald hero turned around and started to walk back home, hoping by the time he opened his door, Genos would have dinner ready. Veins on Sonic's face started to bulge in anger as he unsheathed his sword.
"You think you can walk away from me?!"
The lunatic lunged at Saitama and swung his sword, intending on cleaving the baldy's head in two, when his sword suddenly shattered.
"What the- my sword is in pieces? I didn't even see what happened! He should be dead!"
Sonic landed on the ground and sheathed his sword as Saitama, who had just shattered a steel blade with... his... teeth... okay, started to speak in a menacing tone.
"I told you... I'm hungry. Plus, I'm still pissed at that disappointing beetle, so anyone who gets in my way..."
The hero's face turned grim, giving off an aura that once again put death in onlooker's minds, as he looked right into Sonic's soul.
"Gets punched."
Remembering what happened to him before, Sonic stepped a few steps back.
"Fine. We'll meet again Saitama, and when we do, my sword will be unbreakable, and I'll hack you into pieces!"
And so the weird guy jumped off, leaving Saitama on the streets. Just as he began to walk however, life decided "Fuck you." and gave him another test of his patience, which by now, was running low.
"Oi!"
"Hm?"
A fairly well built man with a disgusting hair style, and a even more atrocious tank top, both reminiscent of a tiger's stripes, in dark green long pants and your everyday black shoes, was standing just a few feet away from Saitama.
"You cheating bastard!"
"Eh, who are you?"
"You- YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHO I AM! I AM THE HERO, TANK TOP TIGER!"
Oh wow, some guy managed to come up with an even more obvious name that describes his appearance than the ones Doctor Genus gave his creations.
"BIG BROTHEEEEEEEEER!" yelled "Tank top tiger", like a little kid would do when he wants his brother to beat up some guy he hates.
"IT'S THAT GUY!"
"Seriously, who the hell is this guy?" thought Saitama, who had the blankest expression on his face.
"YOU CALLED ME LITTLE BRO?"
Some random leaped from behind T-T-T (Tank top tiger), and landed beside him.
"Brother!"
"THE HERO, TANK TOP BLACKHOLE IS HERE!"
"Eh? Since when did Tank tops become trendy?"
"SO, YOU'RE THE FRAUD THAT ABUSED MISS TORNADO OF TERROR'S KINDNESS TO GET INTO S CLASS, EH?"
"Say what now?"
"NO ONE COULD POSSIBLY HAVE ATTAINED S CLASS WITH A SCORE OF 71! FIRST YOU ABUSED THE S CLASS HERO'S KINDNESS TO GET YOURSELF INTO S CLASS, THEN YOU STOLE HER CREDIT FOR THE METEOR? UNACCEPTABLE!"
"So uh... what do you guys want?"
"HUH? ISN'T IT OBVIOUS? WE'LL BEAT YOU UP SO BAD YOU'LL NEVER-"
"Hold on little bro. Bastards like this won't learn with a simple beating. We'll teach him with the most brutal method there is!"
"Oh, am I going to get a good fight? Eh, surely as heroes they wouldn't do it near civilians."
T-T-B (Tank top blackhole) took a deep breath, before letting out a shout to damn loud and obnoxious, Saitama had to dig his ears.
"ARE YOU THE ONEEEE!? THE JERK THAT IS RESPONSIBLE FOR DESTROYING THIS CITYYYY!?
"Huh?"
"I get it, big bro is trying to get the attention of all the citizens that are angry with him!"
"UNBELIEVABLE! HOW DARE YOU SHOW YOUR FACE AROUND HERE!"
He's going to use their anger..."
"DO YOU NOT FEEL ANYTHING AT THE SIGHT OF THIS DEVASTATION?
"To break his spirit!"
Nearby civilians started making their way towards the scene.
"ARE YOU GLOATING? IS THAT WHAT THIS IS? WHY ELSE WOULD YOU WALK AROUND SO SHAMELESSLY, DID YOU ACTUALLY THINK YOU SAVED THESE PEOPLE?! THANKS TO YOU INTERFERING WITH THE S CLASSES DESTROYING THE METEOR, THESE PEOPLE HAVE NO WHERE ELSE TO GO!"
"Hey, isn't that C Class rank 13 T-T-T and his brother B class rank 81 T-T-B?"
"Who's that bald guy down there?"
"Hey that's the guy that was with those S classes when the meteor came down!"
"Eh? What's he doing here?!"
"IF YOU WERE GONNA SCREW UP SO BAD, WHY DID YOU BUTT YOUR BALD HEAD IN? THE OTHER S CLASS HEROES WOULD HAVE DONE A WAY BETTER JOB THAN YOU! NOW THANKS TO YOU PLAYING HERO, A HUGE DISASTER HAPPENED! LOOK AT THIS PLACE! ALL THIS DESTRUCTION IS YOUR DOING YOU CHEAT!"
"That's.. that's right! This is all your fault!"
"They took the bait!" The asshole that is Tank top blackhole grinned.
"YOU HEAR THAT? THAT IS THE HEART WRENCHING CRY OF SOMEONE WHO LOST THEIR HOME! LOOK AT THEM, ALL OF THEM ARE VICTIMS OF YOUR SELFISH ACTIONS!
"Yea!"
"Yea! You tell him!"
"HAVEN'T YOU EVEN THOUGHT TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY?"
"Yea!"
"You're inhuman!"
"GIVE UP BEING A HERO YOU FRAUD!"
The two brothers started chanting, "Give it up", enticing the crowd to join in. Like a bunch of sheeps, the crowd joined in. Tens of voices yelled at Saitama who, by now, was getting really sick and tired of the day. He just wanted to get his shopping done and enjoy a home cooked meal after a disappointing victory. Why did god have to do this to him?
The shitty tiger guy smiled. Honestly, if the crowd even had half the intelligence of a pig, they would have figured out by now the two tank top wearing idiots were doing something wrong but of course, in this universe, saying the civilians are as dumb as pigs is insulting to pigs, so they continued.
"We got him. His pride should be shattered by now." T-T-T looked around him, watching as the crowd did their work.
"Is this what they call mob mentality? They're all chanting in unison."
Unbeknownst to the idiots below, a silver haired old man was watching from the rooftops above with disgust.
"Saitama-kun... You have without a doubt saved this city and yet, look at how they treat you. All because they saw a green glow surround the meteor before you smashed it. You're strong, the strongest I've ever met in my time, so forgive me for not saying anything. I'd hate for you to rot in this industry. Perhaps resigning will give you a better future." The old man closed his eyes. What a thought, having the world lose its strongest hero simply because he deserves better.
"TIME TO FINISH HIM OFF!"
T-T-B pointed at Saitama and declared with bullshit brimming from his mouth.
"OI! HE'S GETTING READY TO FIGHT!"
"Huh? I'm just standing he-"
"No way! You're gonna take your frustration out on the people, just like how you destroyed their city? DO YOU JUST KILL EVERYONE YOU DON'T LIKE?!"
"Eh, this is my city too asshole."
"I WILL NOT LET YOU HURT THEM! WE, THE TANK TOP BROTHERS WILL NOT STAND BY WHILE YOU ATTACK INNOCENT CIVILIANS!"
The tank top dumb and dumber had jumped down from their ego straight down to their IQ and prepared to attack Saitama. T-T-T had his arm raised in pride, while T-T-B pointed at Saitama with as much disrespect as a human could muster.
"IF YOU'RE A HERO, THEN FIGHT US FAIR AND SQUARE!"
"So, they plan on performing a publicity stunt while crushing a S class leagues above them? Haigh, I'd say they've gotten a little bit too greedy. No wonder they can't rise above their respective classes. My apologies, Saitama-kun." Bang took one last look at the bullshit below, and walked away, hoping Saitama takes this opportunity to seek a path more worthy of his strength, perhaps one leading to a specific dojo.
"Tank top tiger, who fights like a true tiger-"
"And Tank top blackhole, who crushes all with a grip of 2,800 psi!"
"We brothers will punish all who stray from the path of a hero!"
"Haigh, today just isn't my day."
T-T-T let out a pathetic battle cry, before a single nonchalant, not even a-billionth-of-a-fraction-of-a-percentage-of-his-power punch from Saitama launched him flying past his older brother, crying in pain the whole way.
"Huh? DAMN YOU! I'LL RIP YOU APART!"
T-T-B lunged at Saitama with his hands outstretched which gave the bald hero a very large opening to kill the guy, but he simply gripped his hands, causing the other to shriek in pain.
"Yaaaaaaaagh! I give up! I GIVE UP!"
"You're kidding, right?"
"I GIVE UP FOR REAL! I'M SORRY! I"M SORRY FOR LYING!"
"No. You weren't lying."
The weakling that is T-T-B, now kneeling on the floor due to the excruciating pain, opened his eyes in shock.
"I'M THE ONE WHO SMASHED THE METEOR! IF YOU HAVE A COMPLAINT, LET'S HEAR IT!"
The crowd, and a very familiar blonde, stared at Saitama, completely unable to speak, until one brave, let's be honest, it's just a nice way of saying stupid, soul opened his mouth.
"Because of you, my brand new car was-"
"YOU CAN SHUT UP!"
The crowd had their mouths open in shock. The once calm expressionless baldy was now seething with rage, or if you were smart enough to tell, impatience.
"WHY WOULD I GIVE A CRAP ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS? TELL THAT TO THE METEOR ABOUT TO KILL YOU, JACKASS!"
Saitama let go of T-T-B's hand, causing the latter to drop to the floor, and pointed at the crowd.
"LISTEN UP! I BECAME A HERO, NOT FOR THE ADMIRATION, BUT BECAUSE I WANTED TO! SO IF YOU WANNA BLAME ME, GO RIGHT AHEAD, BALDIES!"
"But you're the baldy."
"WHAT'D YOU SAYYYYY!?"
By now, Saitama's patience started to run out. Not only that, some guy just called him bald! How dare he! He looked like he was about to do something rash when a familiar voice stops him from completely losing it.
"Sensei."
"Oh, Genos. Give me a sec, these guys-"
"Let's go home and have hotpot, Sensei."
"Oh. Yea, I'm starving."
As the two walked back home, the crowd slowly dissipated.
"Damn it. That guy's face is burned into my brain. I'm going to remember this."
"Sensei."
"Eh?"
"I have never met anyone as amazing as you, Sensei."
"What brought that on Genos?"
"To do so much as a hero simply because you want to, no matter the public's opinion on you. Your wisdom knows no bounds, just like your powers, Saitama Sensei. I want you to know that even if the public doesn't appreciate you, I will still follow you."
"Dude, you don't have to butter me up, really. I'm fine. Besides, if us heroes don't help, who else will?"
"Sensei... these people do not deserve a hero like you. The next time I see those two, I will incinerate them."
"Now come on, that hotpot can't wait any longer!"
"I'm glad I could meet and be a disciple to someone like you, Sensei." As Genos followed his Sensei, he took out a notebook to write down his Sensei's words of wisdom. Truly, he has never felt so blessed to meet someone, not even Doctor Kuseno.
"... WHAT."
Tatsumaki always hated the lower classes. She thought of them as nothing but attention hungry weaklings that only signed up to get their otherwise useless asses recognised and boy, she has never seen more definitive proof than that shown on her tele. During the entire publicity stunt, one member of the public, a reporter, was filming the whole thing on their camera. This video was being played on one of the news channels and, how unfortunately for the Tank top brothers, was being viewed by the Tornado of Terror herself.
"How dare they. HOW DARE THEY TARNISH MY NAME!"
She would have only been disgusted if they had kept her out of this, but no, they had to imply she was easily manipulated because she was kind, making her look like a goddamn softie! Making her seem like the kind of person to not mind helping some idiot boost their ego!. She was outraged. They will pay. Oh they will pay so dearly. But first, she had to make sure a certain Baldy was not thinking of quitting, not when she had done so goddamn much just to get him in, including arguing with those pea-for-a-brain idiots in charge of the rankings. Tatsumaki blew open her apartment door, and shut it with as much force as possible without breaking it, and headed for City Z. She had to take her frustration out on something after all, lest she ends up killing those two weaklings. No, they did not deserve such mercy from the Tornado of Terror.
"Sensei."
Saitama was sprawled on his futon, snoring away. After a long and tiring day and a great meal, he was so damn ready to sleep. And so he did. Even his alarm clock couldn't wake him up. Genos was in the seiza position next to him, trying to wake the baldy to ask him something.
"Sensei!"
"Huh, what? Oh, Genos, what is it?"
"Sensei, I apologise for intruding on your precious sleep, but I have failed as a disciple, for I do not know what you take for breakfast." The cyborg hung his head in shame. Could cyborgs feel shame? Eh, I guess this one can.
"Dude, you don't have to be so dramatic, I don't mind."
"Thank you Sensei. Your-"
"Please Genos, no long talks for today."
"Yes Sensei. So what would you like for breakfast?"
"Eh, I guess Udon noodles are fine."
"Very well Sensei, I will get right on-"
Before Genos could stand up, the door to their apartment flew off its hinges into the cyborg's face at incredible speeds, crashing right into his face.
"ADVOCADO!"
"Eh? Tats? What are you doing here? And why did you send my door to Genos? What did he do?"
"I DON'T CARE! JUST TELL ME, ARE YOU PLANNING ON RESIGNING FROM BEING A HERO!?"
"Whoa, Tats, calm down. What made you think that? I don't plan on quitting a hobby."
"BUT THE NEWS! THOSE DAMN WEAKLINGS! THOSE-"
"Tats."
Saitama now had a serious face. Not the one that gave off an aura of death, more like the type a parent would use on a child.
"Calm down, please. I just woke up so my ears are not ready for anything louder than your normal volume."
...
"Sorry, I just... I'm so goddamn mad."
Genos had moved the door back to its original spot and reminded himself to fix it before going out today, and sat back down next to his Sensei and Tatsumaki.
"But you're always mad Tatsumaki."
"SHUT UP CY-"
"Tats."
"Haigh, shut it cyborg. I won't hesitate breaking the floor with your face."
"Tats, what's wrong? Why did you come here in a rage and asked if I was going to quit being a hero?"
"One of the news channels broadcasted a video of you being involved in two weakling's publicity stunt and those assholes tarnished my name in it!"
"Eh, what stunt?"
"Sensei, I hate to remind you of it, but she is referring to yesterday's incident with the brothers."
"...Oh, them."
"Listen egghead, I'm only here to check on you. Whatever you do, don't you dare quit being a hero, especially not after I used so much of my time getting you here! Now if you excuse me, I have to teach those two a lesso-"
As the ESPer turned around, a firm grip caught her wrist before she could fly off in search of the Tank top bastards. Normally she'd fling anyone who dare lay a finger on her crashing into a wall, but she knew damn well who was holding onto her, and she knows the reason he stopped her.
"Tats, they're not worth your time."
"Like hell they aren't! They insulted me, made me out to be a weakling that lets kindness manipulate them! They will pay for it!"
"Tats, you're a heroine right?"
"OF COURSE I AM YOU STUPID BAL-"
"A heroine should not hurt innocent people."
"THEY ARE NOT INNOCENT BALDY!"
"I thought we already agreed on not calling Saitama Sensei Baldy, Tatsumaki?"
"Cyborg, shut your mouth, or I will do it for you."
"Tats, look at me."
Tatsumaki turned her head from the annoying cyborg, and faced Saitama, who now had the kind of face you'd see on someone pleading.
"Don't throw away your reputation over a simple insult. Besides, if you were to act on it, wouldn't the public get more suspicious and believe in those words more?"
"I..."
Unbelievable. The baldy, him of all people, calmed her down. One minute she was damn ready to break every bone in those two idiots whilst keeping them alive, the next, her powers slowly deactivated, and she floated down to the ground.
"Hey, have you had breakfast yet?"
"...Just some cookies and milk."
"That's not breakfast! That's a snack! Yo Genos, do you know how to make pancakes?"
"Yes Sensei, I have downloaded several recipes when I asked to live with you, therefore I-"
"Dude, what did I say?"
"Sorry Sensei, yes I know how to make pancakes, Sensei."
"Cool, go make some for the three of us, okay?"
"Yes Sensei!"
Genos rushed himself to the kitchen to prepare Saitama's meal. And though he was a bit reluctant to make a batch for the ESPer, his Sensei had requested for him to do so, and he was not going to disappoint him.
"Hey Tats, you got any plans for today?"
"Why do you ask octopus?"
"...Will it kill you just to refer to me as Saitama?"
"It might."
"Eh, anyway, I wanted to ask you to spend the day with Genos and I. I'm kind of bored since there hasn't been a single call and I wanted to get to know you better."
"Wh-what?"
"Yea, I realised that even though we're friends, we don't really know too much of each other. So uh, do you have the time?"
"Well... I suppose since the association has yet to call me... Fine, but only because I don't want you accidentally pissing me off just because you don't know much about me."
"Cool. Make yourself at home, I have to go brush my teeth and shower."
The baldy walked off to do his morning routine, leaving Tatsumaki by herself.
"Friend? He considers me a friend? What the hell did I do to make him think of me as a friend? Damn it, how am I supposed to be a role model to Fubuki when I myself have a freaking friend? I mean, he may not be as useless as hers but..."
"Tatsumaki, do you want syrup or butter on your pancakes?"
"Syrup will do cyborg."
"Sensei, what about you?"
A muffled "Syrup!" could be heard from the bathroom before the apartment was silent again, with the exception of cooking noises coming from the kitchen and the sound of a shower in the bathroom. Tatsumaki sat herself down at the baldy's table. Such a tight living quarters and yet, it was surprisingly quaint. It had been a long time since she had such a feeling...
First of all, I want to thank "The Lone Lobster", author of "The Strongest Hero" on this website, for letting me use the names they came up with the the monsters of the HoE.
I would also like to apologise for the previous chapter. Instead of a "tad" different, it was more like "barely" different. I'm so sorry for this but I didn't know how else to write it where it would not disrupt the flow. I mean, if I had Tatsumaki go against Kabuto, she'd wipe the floor with his ugly face. Hopefully this issue won't happen again.
Also, sorry for the large amounts of "adult words" in this chapter. I didn't know how else to convey my anger towards the two bas-brothers. Damn them to hell. Also, in the future, I will be using "haigh" to represent someone sighing, whether it be out loud or in their minds. Not all the time of course, just depends on whether I go the "they sighed" or "sound effect" route. Also, "Lines like these" will represent the general public aka the people I don't give name to so as to not make everything confusing.
So anyway, thank you all for your time. Yea... I'm getting a lot less creative with the "thanks" part of the note. Now, I should probably get around to those fillers.
Lightningblade49- She technically didn't survive, she just got revived with knowledge of the man's power. Hopefully I can resolve her fear in a natural fashion in the future. And yea, 65% off everything, not just sales. Too bad it will be a week before he receives that discount pass.
Ander Arias- Yea, sorry about that. If I tried to incorporate her, the whole chapter would be... I'd say a few hundred words long. I'm glad I was able to use your advice properly, thanks for that. As for the HoE guys... let's just say I got inspired heavily by "The Strongest Hero".
Elfetrange- Oh thank the lord, hopefully most of my readers like that ship too, I wouldn't want to disappoint a truck ton of them. (o_o')
Hektols- One more week before he enters heaven.
Boggie445-I appreciate the name suggestion, but I have managed to obtain permission from "The Lone Lobster" to use their names. Thanks though!
HyperionATLAS- Hey, if you find anything else that reminds you of a certain OPM story, let me know. I've forgotten where a lot of my inspiration comes from and I am sorely disappointed in myself. (o~o)
My inspirations:
The Bald and The Esper: s/11725053/1/The-Bald-and-The-Esper
The Strongest Hero: s/12494528/1/The-Strongest-Hero
There is definitely more to the list, please let me know if you read anything similar!
