James found Kaidan sitting at the top of a small hill watching something, a cold beer in his hand.
"Whatcha up to, boss?" He asked as he walked up joining him.
"Watching Rel and Rache in the middle of a chick fight while I drink the last beer on the planet." Kaidan answered in easy tones gesturing with the dark bottle toward the bottom of the hill where two figures could be seen rolling around on the grass.
"Damn." James said after studying the scene for a moment. He turned his head toward Kaidan then. "I wanted the last beer."
Kaidan laughed and gestured next to him. "I invoke the brozone, James. Enter and share the last beer with your bro." He held the bottle up in invitation.
James didn't have to be asked twice, quickly settling near Kaidan and taking a long sip from the bottle. "Shit, Alenko, sharing the last beer on the planet? Feeling a serious amount of brolove right now."
Kaidan chuckled, his eyes not leaving the two women.
James passed the beer back. "So how serious is that and how long has it been going on?"
"Just a couple of minutes and if it were serious they wouldn't be fighting like girls, they'd be trying to kill each other." Kaidan answered taking a swallow from the beer. "And don't get me wrong, James, I brolove you, too, but whatever that's about, I really hope it's you and not me."
"Damn, I was just thinking the same thing." James muttered wincing as Rel jerked on Rache's long hair.
They were silent a long moment, both of them content to just watch.
"That's your shirt Rache's wearing, isn't it?" Kaidan asked after a moment.
"Yeah, the one you dressed her in when we first got here." James agreed taking the beer bottle offered to him.
"That's the third time Rel's gone after it." Kaidan continued as the woman in question began tugging at the shirt again.
James gave a confused shrug. "It's one of my favorites. I'd kind of like it back, but it didn't seem right asking the Commander for it. It's a real comfortable shirt."
Kaidan began to laugh, low and pleased. "Oh, that's not a shirt anymore, James." He said as tension left his shoulders. "That's a symbol of ownership now. Whatever that's about, it's you and not me." There was definite relief in his tone.
James watched Rel go after the shirt yet again. "Well, damn." He said and took another drink and passed the beer back.
The two men were quiet again, the bottle going back and forth.
"Hunh." James grunted after awhile. "How sick is it that watching them go at it is starting to turn me on?"
Kaidan gave a loud laugh. "It's okay, James. What gets said in the brozone, stays in the brozone. And I can't wait to tell Rache there's a brozone and she isn't invited."
James slanted a glance at the older man, laughing. "You, too, hunh?"
Kaidan chose to drink instead of answering.
They were mostly through the bottle when Rel finally managed to get the t-shirt off before shoving Rache's face into a pile of leaves. She stood up in triumph and immediately looked up the hill to where the men sat. With a contemptuous flick of her leaf strewn hair, she began marching toward them, trophy in hand.
"Better finish it." Kaidan muttered shoving the bottle at him. "Doesn't matter who won down there, we're both going to pay for it."
James swallowed the last mouthful just as Rel stopped in front of him.
"You have her name tattooed on your back?" The words were sharp and pissed.
"What? No!" James gaped at her. "I mean, yes, but…"
"Fine." Rel spat. With deliberate precision she took the collar of the t-shirt she had won and ripped it in half, dumping both pieces on James' lap before stalking past him.
James groaned picking up the two pieces. "I loved this shirt." He muttered.
Rache reached them, her torso clad only in a tight undershirt as she glared at Kaidan. "Rel tells me that your scar on your hip is very sensitive." Her voice was filled with ice.
"You have green eyes again, Rache!" Kaidan scrambled to his feet, stunned.
"Your powers of observation are legendary." Her tone actually grew colder. "And you drank the last beer."
James quickly shoved the empty bottle into Kaidan's hands as if getting rid of the evidence. "It was his idea!"
"Rache, your eyes…"
"Are green." She snapped. "Get over it." She stalked past him toward the colony once more.
Kaidan took a half step after her and then paused. Considering the retreating woman, he finally sank back down to the ground.
"I told you we'd both pay for it." He muttered and shook the bottle over his mouth trying for the last drops.
"I hope Joker gets his still working right soon." James agreed rubbing his fingers over his hair.
"Yeah, I'm starting to really miss beer."
Epilogue:
"So that was when I decided I had to kill all the males in the colony." James Vega grunted the words as he did chin lifts on a bar. He was in his happy place, feeling the welcome strain as he worked his muscles in front of two females who were hanging on him, one from the front, one from the back, cooing as he moved up and down with steady grace. "I mean, Joker's oldest is only three right now and he's already acting like his old man. Can't keep his pants on as he goes running through the colony."
Kaidan Alenko laughed softly not missing a jump as he skipped rope nearby. "I'm guessing Rel had a different resolution for when your girls hit puberty and start thinking about dating."
"Ya think?" James snorted as the infant on his back gave a loud burp. "Give that woman an option and she'll give you three other ones you didn't think of."
"And her first option? Since you do understand I have more than a passing interest in making sure all the males in the colony survive." Kaidan paused long enough to start twirling the rope the opposite direction and begin skipping again.
"She says she'll start teaching the girls early not only martial arts, but how to use that sword of hers. Start them throwing knives, too." James answered. "I'll work with them on boxing and some other nasty tricks I know. By the time they hit puberty they'll be the deadliest women on the planet."
Kaidan laughed again. "Good plan. Maybe you can let it be known that the only ones worthy of dating your girls will be those who can beat them in hand to hand."
"No way in hell." James shook his head. "I can already see Joker Junior trying harder to just put his hands on them than to win. I told Rel I reserve the right to kill any guy who touches my girls in a way I don't want them to."
"And what if they want to be touched?" The woman herself asked sauntering into the room, a large bag in hand.
"No, no. We already discussed you being logical about this." James set down lightly on the floor. "There is no logic. There is only me beating the crap out of anyone who looks at my babes the wrong way. And yes, I do get to determine what the wrong way is." He bent down and pressed a kiss to her lips.
"James, you're getting the girls all sweaty. Again." Rel sighed as he swung the infant on his back around to join her twin on his chest.
"Yep, and tonight I'm going to get you all sweaty again, too." He promised with a low growly voice leaning in for another kiss.
Rel laughed and curled into the kiss. "Ow! Ow! Baby, mommy's hair is not for pulling on." She pulled back gently trying to disentangle the clutched fist about her dark hair.
Kaidan set his jump rope to the side wiping his face with a nearby towel. "Hey, Rel. You and Rache finish the mediations?"
"Most of them." Rel agreed with a nod as she finished freeing her hair and pressed a kiss to the dark thicket on her baby's head. "We disagreed about whether to allocate more scouts and geth for exploration across the planet or expand the colony's resources."
"So we're going to settle this the old fashioned way." Rache added entering the room. She paused near Kaidan long enough to pass over the limp body she held against her chest before smacking him in the arm and then moving to the section of the exercise room cleared for hand to hand combat. "I'm going to kick her ass."
"You wish." Rel sneered back joining her.
James snagged a water bottle and made his way to where Kaidan was now sitting on a long bench settling the waking child on his lap. "What was the hit about?" The former asked as both of the girls on his chest began batting at the bottle and laughing.
"She says I knocked her up again." Kaidan's grin was anything but abashed. "I pointed out that there was a greater than fifty percent chance that she had instigated the knocking up herself but she's decided it's my fault anyway."
James made a hooting noise that startled the twins and then set them giggling again. "Congratulations, man! Now you'll be tied with Rel and me." Across the room Rel and Rache began to twist and block, dancing about one another.
Kaidan laughed, nodding. For a long moment they just watched the spar match, children on their laps. "Did you ever imagine, James, that you'd end up like this?" He finally asked, his tone full of wonder.
"This? No." James shook his head and cradled his girls closer. "This is beyond anything I ever dreamed of. I thought I'd end up dead in battle if I was lucky. Or worse. A broken drunk remembering the glory days holding up a bar in some seedy space station somewhere."
Reflexively they both looked up as if seeing past the wooden ceiling to the galaxy they no longer had the means to travel through.
"You?" James finally returned the question.
"No. I figured I end up like Hackett or Anderson." A shadow of grief passed Kaidan's face as he looked down at the brown eyed boy now awake and watching his mother. "Married more to my career in the Alliance than anyone else. Never thought I'd have a son, either."
"Wouldn't change a damn thing." James said pressing a kiss first to one dark covered head then another on the children he held.
"Nope…well, I might change that." Kaidan said with a sigh motioning to the fight.
"Hey! Hey! No blows below the belt!" James called out to the sparring women. "Both of you!"
"And that, Dack, is why you should really think hard about dating any of the Vega women." Kaidan murmured to his son.
James turned a wary eye to the toddler.
"Don't even think it, James." Kaidan warned him.
"Hunh." James grunted before lowering his mouth near his girls. "Daddy's going to teach you both how to fight and where to hurt guys, don't you worry."
