A/N: Longest chapter so far, Hoorah! Apologies for taking so long with this one, major writers block. That and I have been busy reading the stories on my alert list :) Thanks again for all the reviews, I will try my best to get started writing the next chapter ASAP. As always I do not own Bioware nor do I own Kill Bill :'( (Sad Times) R&R if the mood takes you.
Shepard didn't usually hug anybody. Wearing armor the majority of her life made things awkward when she did. But being a part of the Normandy had changed that. She had formed bonds with people, her crew was the family she never had. Now, they had abandoned her just like her biological family did back on Earth.
Shepard remembered how it felt to be held. Kaiden, his gentle hold that screamed out a thousand blessings back on Horizon. Tali, her tight grasp that cemented her to Shepard when she saw her father dead. Kasumi, her light hugs that she loved to give to show appreciation. Garrus…the way he held her differently every time, the romantic cuddle, the friendly hug… Joker's grasp on her reminded Shepard of vivid memory, when everyone was celebrating their survival after blowing up the collector base.
Shepard slowly walked into Kasumi's room to be presented with the entire Normandy crew - Every single one of them. The image brought a massive smile to Shepard's face.
They were spread out across the room celebrating, Kasumi stood behind the bar pouring Jacob a drink as she looked up and noticed her commander enter.
"Shepard!" she shouted a lot louder than she needed to causing everybody to turn their attention to the doorway.
Jacob howled making the crew cheer and raise their glasses to her. Shepard couldn't help but blush. Looking to her right she was not surprised to see that Kasumi had somehow manage to swiftly appear next to her. She was the stealthiest of her crew after all.
Kasumi hushed the crowed down with a gentle wave of her arm while she forced a pink liquid into the palm of Shepard's hand. She looked back at their awaiting audience and smiled as she raised her glass.
"To Shepard, the only woman in this galaxy who could take us on a suicide mission and bring us back alive!" Kasumi yelled proudly.
More cheers escalated around the room, which were silenced by mouthfuls of alcohol.
"Speech!" shouted a drunken Jacob from behind the bar using the counter to support his weight.
"Oh…no, no i'm good thanks," Shepard stuttered embarrassed, a feeling she hadn't felt in a very long time.
"Don't be boshtet!" hiccuped Tali in playful tone as she sat by the window, the stars gleaming in the background peacefully behind her.
The crew gave a roar of laughter, as did Shepard. It was funny seeing Tali so secure and confident within herself now. It was like her pilgrimage held her back from ever properly becoming an adult, and here she was fine young drunken woman.
Shrugging in defeat Shepard murmured, "Well I wouldn't wanna be a boshtet now would I?"
Kasumi giggled next to her and shook her head as if to rid herself of any leftover laughter.
Shepard forced out an audible cough. "As you all know this was a suicide mission. The odds were against us, nobody believed in us and yet here we are."
She mentally scanned the room before her noticing that many of her crew-members were nodding in approval.
"Every single one of us is unique, some of us have strength in our biotics…"
Jack punched her fist into the air over the comment, with Miranda, Jacob, Thane and Samara reluctantly joining her in the process. They had all definitely had a bit too much too drink.
"Some have power in their strength…"
Zaeed and Grunt clapped eagerly. "And don't you forget it!" yelled Zaeed through cupped hands.
"Some of you are the greatest tech experts i've had the pleasure of knowing…"
Ken dragged both Tali and Gabby in his arms, they struggled playfully while he refused to yield his hold. "Ahh where would I be without my two favorite lass's in the galaxy?" he joked in his heavy scottish accent.
Legions head flared at the sight before him. Ken was quick to release the two breathless engineers and stumbled over to the Geth who was not drinking for obvious reasons.
If synthetics could show emotion Legion would have definitely looked confused at the moment, perhaps even scared. Ken raised his arms in a manly gesture and shouted "Come 'ere you!" before embracing Legion in a tight bear hug. Every bystander looked bemused, especially Tali and Gabby when Legion managed to say "Cannot…reach…consensus!"
Shepard continued her speech with an broad grin upon her face. "Then there are some of the greatest marksmen i've ever seen..." she chirped, warmly smiling towards Garrus at the far end of the room.
Joker as always, ruined the moment and interjected their unbreakable stare on each other.
"Commander your too kind. I don't know how it happened, i've never fired an assault rifle before. But when you guys were racing back to the Normandy and I had that baby in my hands, I don't know…my fingers just magically caressed that trigger," he commented with heavy sarcasm. Well Shepard hoped he was being sarcastic at least.
The crew rolled their eyes, especially Garrus and Thane, the most skilled snipers on the ship.
"Joker, it's not that we didn't appreciate the help but you only managed to wound one collector out of the eight chasing us," Shepard pointed out much to the crews amusement.
Joker shrugged, "Yeah…well I didn't want to steal the show from you guys…" he said with a sly smirk.
Shepard had no problem letting somebody take credit for something. In fact it turned out to be easier for her, less questions and comments about heroics.
After setting the bomb on the collector ship and telling the Illusive man where he could shove it, Shepard was running for her life. Never before had she ran so fast, pleased to see that Garrus and Jack were keeping up with her. While running she could hear every swear word known to man - And it wasn't all just coming from Jack. Garrus had been quite vocal the whole time.
When the Normandy was in their sites Shepard remembered feeling the floor literally begin to crumble beneath her. Adrenaline swept over her body forcing her to pick up the pace. The doors swished open presenting Joker with an assault rifle, he had a badass look on his face as he sprayed bullets into the horde of collectors on her six. Garrus and Jack charged into the Normandy barely escaping a tumbling platform. Shepard noticed that the platform had now disappeared, yet she didn't hesitate and continued sprinting forward.
Reaching the end of the crumbling floor Shepard leapt in the air for what seemed like forever, flinging her arms in the process to try and get a grip of the Normandy.
As she descended Shepard immediately slammed herself onto the cold metal of the ship. It all seemed like such good idea until she realised that she couldn't get a decent grip. She began to quickly slide closer to the edge. In a snap reaction she screamed Garrus' name.
The turian was getting multiple head shots as the Collectors lined up before him. When he saw Shepard plunge for the Normandy his heart nearly stopped. He continued to shoot the abominations only to be stopped in his tracks when his name was called. Garrus glanced in the direction of the voice bringing his eyes to face the edge of the Normandy. Shepard was struggling to hang on, he didn't even know that she was hanging there that whole time. Once she jumped he assumed that she was then standing with Joker, Jack and himself.
He brought he's tactical shots to an immediate halt. In a rushed movement Garrus snatched Shepard's hand mid air as she suddenly lost her entire grip. Next thing he knew he was thanking the spirits that he grabbed her in time, noticing how light she was as he easily pulled her back up.
Tentatively touching Garrus' chest Shepard mouthed a genuine "Thank you" before rushing into the cockpit with Joker and co. following.
Shepard shook herself from her memory remembering that she was still in Kasumi's room. Garrus kept his eyes locked on Shepard protectively the entire time, he couldn't help himself. He was always there when she needed him. She mentally smiled in amusement at the understatement.
"I never had a family when growing up on Earth. Many of you know that. And not to go all soft on you guys but I feel like you are all my family now."
'Awws,' sounded across the room, with the exception of a couple of playful chuckles of delight. Shepard fought hard to fight back the tears of joy, thankfully winning the battle of self control.
She looked down at her crystal pink drink and raised it for what would be the last and final time.
"To all the badasses in this room who made it through, you've made the galaxy proud, you've made me proud, made yourselves proud. But most of all….we've made the Reapers think twice before fucking with us!"
"Hell yeah!" screamed Jack as she glugged down her liquor, soon to be joined by the rest of the crew.
Next to the neon lighted chair by the bar Mordin fidgeted continuously. "Wire attached…no response…hmm…problematic…perhaps slight kick would ensure it's reliability."
The doctor waved Grunt over who looked happily drunk in his own little world. Mordin took a step back as Grunt let out a roar and hit the machine aggressively.
Without warning music flooded the room - it was Flux's old club music.
Kasumi slid into Mordin's direction and patted him lightly on the back. "I knew you would get it working again," she smiled.
"Never underestimate a salarian Ms Goto…success deemed unlikely….krogan intervention required …glad to help," Mordin chirped.
Shepard leaned against the wall watching the room buzz with energy now that music filled the air. She couldn't help but smile blissfully to herself as she remembered the last time she heard this tune.
As if he read her mind there he was, Garrus, her turian, walking over ignoring all the commotion as the party came underway.
Thane quickly whispered something to Garrus as he was walking past. The turian lightly thumped the drell on the back and chuckled. Since when were the two of them best of friends?
Garrus took his eyes off Shepard ignoring her as he aimed his sight for the door. Shepard instantly began to feel embarrassed over the fact that she thought he was actually coming over to -
Suddenly she felt him tightly grab her arm as he walked past her. He kept his eyes trained trained before him refusing to look at her while he hastily pulled her out of the room.
Obeying Garrus' movements Shepard let him guide her into…Thane's room?
Before the doors shut Shepard rapidly looked to see if anyone saw them leave together, luckily the crew seemed too busy dancing and drinking to notice her absence. Now alone with Garrus in Life Support she began feeling nervous, he hadn't said a word yet.
Garrus let go of Shepard and turned to face her finally. He had a predator vibe about him for some reason. His eyes began to bore into her as he took a step forward. Shepard unintentionally took a step back.
"Garrus," she whispered, nervous for reasons unknown. "Did you wanna talk t -"
Garrus cut off her words by roughly slamming her against the wall. Shepard gasped in reaction. He liked it when he was in control. While holding her tightly the turian plummeted his tongue down her neck, licking her up and down with force. Shepard allowed a weak moan to escape her mouth, letting her fingers trail up to his fringe and caress his soft skin. Garrus growled over the comfort of her touch playfully nipping at her collarbone in response. He held her waist the entire time rubbing her hips that he adored with his sharp talons. Garrus continuously kneaded into her soft flesh taking pleasure at Shepard's vast change in breathless sighs.
"Garrus…" she breathed seductively. His name sounding so perfect on her lips he stopped what he was doing and connected his forehead gently with hers.
Looking up into those crystal blue eyes Shepard could feel herself melt. "I - I wanted to thank you."
"For what?" he replied stroking away a strand of hair in her face in the process.
"For getting everyone out alive, for grabbing me before I…I couldn't have done this without you."
Shepard smiled and lifted her hand to Garrus' brutally scarred jaw.
"Shepard, you are the the reason we made it through this, as you can see from that display back in Kasumi's room everyone's grateful," he stated tickling her arm lightly with his talon.
Shepard giggled, something she was getting used to doing around Garrus. This was the guy who had seen her at her worst and at her best, and seemed to care for her no matter what. Hell she could probably tell him that she was a Reaper and he would find someway to justify the situation. He was so attentive and accepting. Garrus was everything you could need and more. Shepard realised that him being a turian would never bother her, not now she knew how much she cared for him.
Once, Shepard remembered talking to Kelly about if she had a thing for aliens. If Shepard recalled correctly she replied with "You'll find love in whatever arms will hold you." Shepard wasn't exactly a fan of Kelly, but those words just summed up all of her worries about asking Garrus to 'blow of steam' with her. She daren't tell Kelly that though.
"Are you grateful?" Shepard teased in a husky voice.
"Definitely," Garrus whispered pulling her into a tight embrace.
Time seemed to slow down, nothing else seemed to matter. It was just the two of them holding one another, no lust, no sex, just a hug. The action spoke louder than words, it showed Shepard that Garrus wanted to continue his pursuit with her, it showed that he wasn't just in this for the sex…it showed that he cared.
As he nuzzled into Shepard's neck he heard her sigh with gratitude. Garrus breathed in her scent, keeping his arms locked securely around her soft body. He couldn't care less how much his actions had made him seem like xenophile or a bad turian. The only opinion that mattered was Shepard's, and right now he desperately needed to know that they both felt the same way about one another. His body tensed ever so slightly not wanting to ruin the moment he was having with her. Garrus slowly closed his eyes.
"Shepard?"
A questioning hum rose from beneath him where Shepard had buried herself into his chest. She looked so peaceful.
"I love you," he declared, worried about how Shepard would respond.
The arms he expected to pull away from him trailed up his back. He looked down to see Shepard's eyes glistened over. Did what he had said disgust her that much it made her cry?
She pressed her alien lips to his scarred mandible, a smile quickly displaying itself on her face as a tear escaped her eye. Her whole commander exterior had vanished.
"I love you too" she soothed dipping her face back into his warm chest.
That was one of the most meaningful hugs Shepard had ever received. But this one? This one topped them all. Joker never showed any signs of emotion. His dignity wouldn't allow it. And yet here he was, clutching onto her as if he was afraid that she might fade away.
After a minute or so Shepard loosened her grip cautiously looking for signs that Joker was ready to pull away. Thankfully he understood her body language and released his fragile arms, tossing a few glances in her direction as he leaned back into the sofa.
He had grew his hair out a bit, got rid of the cap…kept his signature beard. At least a part of the Joker she once knew was still there.
His eyes matched hers: Puffy and red. This caused them to give a dry laugh at each others resemblance. The unspoken joke lightened the mood.
"What happened to you Joker?" Shepard asked, reasonably concerned for her friend.
Joker tried dismissing her with a wave of his hand, "It's a long story…"
"Try me," she shot back.
Joker hated how Shepard couldn't leave well enough alone. Always trying to get inside everyones' head. However her hard expression told him that she demanded an explanation for everything.
Joker dwindled into his pocket pulling out a cigarette frantically looking for a lighter. The sight should have amused Shepard, instead she chucked her lighter over to him in quick movement so that he could make haste on explaining what had happened over the past four years. Four years... The thought of it still made her flinch. That was six years in total now. Six years of her life gone that she could never have back.
Joker took a long drag making no attempt to blow the smoke away from her. "Things went to shit Shepard."
The commander remained mute, yearning for him to continue.
"When you went missing, Garrus was made the commanding officer seeing as it was your choice to make him XO after we got back from destroying the collector base. Miranda of course wasn't too happy about that but hey that's life." Joker grinned at the thought of a pouting Miranda, then sighed as he went to continue.
"From that point Garrus had made it quite clear that we wasn't going after the Reapers until he had a body to prove you were dead…none of us disagreed. We were your team, we wasn't about to give up on you."
Shepard could feel the tears welling up again but fought them off so that Joker wouldn't feel even more awkward. She did her best to endure the pang of guilt forming inside her chest.
Joker eagerly took another puff of smoke then hung his head as it seeped out of his lungs. "I…I found it…ah fuck it, I found it hard to deal with you being gone again Shepard. While I still had the Normandy in my hands I developed…a minor drinking problem, one that Garrus tried to overlook." Joker gave a sarcastic chuckle. "Kind of hard to overlook your pilot crashing the Normandy into the Citadel dock because of drunk and disorderly behaviour huh?"
Shepard bit down on her tongue hard but it was not enough to keep her quiet. "You crashed the Normandy into the Citadel dock?"
"Yeah," he answered flatly. "Not on purpose of course. I had a mere misunderstanding of the speed I was travelling at."
"What happened?"
Joker's head jerked up at the sound of the question. "What happened? What happened? They took away my fucking license to fly that's what happened. Garrus didn't stick up for me when the Council made their decision. His lack of intervention was understandable, but it doesn't stop me from thinking he's a dick."
"I'm sorry," Shepard murmured. Genuinely sympathetic for Joker, however knowing him an apology wouldn't make him feel any better.
"Save it!" he voiced stumbling from the couch and clearly limping towards his window across the room.
"I fucked up Shepard, i've paid the price for that. I had the Normandy taken away from me, you taken away from me. I had nothing left!" Joker glanced back at Shepard who was sitting uncomfortably on the couch. "I made leave for Earth with Kasumi. She had enough of everything too and decided to come with me. I think she did it out of pity, but i'm not one to complain when i've got some cute Japanese girl following me around."
A light bulb came to life inside Shepard's brain. "So that explains why you're in Japan, I never thought you and Kasumi were -"
"We're not," Joker pointed out with a hint of disappointment. "We're just friends. She's too busy with Jacob…I probably should have mentioned he upped and left the Normandy with us too huh?" He sarcastically smiled as he looked back at her.
"Uh huh," Shepard agreed crossing her arms.
"Kasumi did a bit of thievery here and there which earned us enough creds to by this place. I thought she was yanking my chain when she suggested that I run the bar. As you can see she was serious…and here I am." Joker flung his cigarette out the window, shrugging his shoulders as he plodded back over to the couch.
"Where is Kasumi?" Shepard questioned patiently.
"She's…around. Pops in every now and again to make sure I haven't drank the place to oblivion. She'll be happy to see you, same goes for Jacob…that's if your sticking around."
Joker sounded really uncertain. He seriously thought that Shepard would walk out on him now? How cold did he think she was?
Shepard stood up and placed her hands gently on Joker's shoulders. "I'm not going anywhere." She smiled. "The Normandy…does Garrus still have it?"
"Yes," Joker groaned.
It was time to take action. Shepard wasn't going to sit around while people's lives were in tatters because of her and while people who wrecked her life were still breathing.
"Would you mind calling Kasumi and Jacob, i'm going to need their help with this one…" Shepard trailed off emerging into a deep thought as she paced up and down the room.
"Help?" Joker asked confused. "Help with what?"
Shepard twisted her body around to reveal a big grin on her face, "Stealing your baby back."
A/N: Just wanted to explain my reasons behind Garrus telling Shepard that he loved her, for I do feel that seemed a bit cheesy and out of character for him. My reasons are that they had both just survived a suicide mission, it probably made him realise how much he couldn't bare to lose Shepard and therefore had to be completely honest. Then you have the issue that he had a bit to drink, he wasn't drunk but he was tipsy to the point where he was talkative and no barrier stopped him from speaking his mind. Sorry if you did find that part cheesy but I had to go with my instincts. (Y)
