Story Name: on the verge of Death
Protection: © Copyright 2014 EmmettMonkeyMan™. All rights reserved.
Summary: Jace is vulnerable. He is battling demons – not real ones, but emotional ones. Ones that are willing to tear open his heart and murder his soul. Battling illnesses no one knows anything about, will Jace survive, or will he be lost forever? Murdered by the one he thought he always knew – himself. Rated M for self-harm and Anorexia/Bulimia.
Families:
Maryse & Robert Lightwood –- Alec, Jace, Isabelle, Max and Noah.
Jocelyn Fairchild and Luke Garroway – Jonathon, Clary and Ava.
Dedication: My beautiful baby girl Mia for being so strong for mommy. She understands me so well, as we both aren't so "well." She's my rock –my savior. I love you princess. Thank you for being so strong and helping mommy with the other babies even when you're at hospital!, I love that you care enough about people to notice when they need a hand! God is proud, precious girl! And like you say, "I'm only 3!" whilst holding up 4 fingers ;)
* Reminder * - Noah is an added child to the lightwoods, and is the real brother of Isabelle, Alec and Max, and the adoptive brother of Jace. Ava is the half sister of Clary and Jonathon.
"Jace?" Jace opened his eyes at the sound and stared around the small room. Edward was bent in front of him, wearing only sweatpants and a vest top, his hair once again messy.
"What?" Jace noticed the off-sound to his voice and sat up quickly, grabbing at his throat to make sure there was nothing wrong. There seemed to be an obstruction to his throat – something thin and long, something he wouldn't be able to dislodge.
"It's the feeding tube." Edward answered for him; straightening once he realised Jace was okay. "Kate put it in, remember? Anyway. You've been out since 8pm, it's now 11am, and I thought you were like dead or something."
Jace ignored Edward and pulled at the feeding tube to find out where it was leading. A machine was next to his bed, numbers flashing every couple of seconds. It gave out a small beep when Jace pulled at it and he carefully let it go. A thick cream-like substance was trickling its way down the bag and disappeared when it entered the white tube he had shoved down his nose. It made him sick and he clenched his jaw so he wouldn't lash out in anger. "I hate this place."
"Don't worry," Edward said cheerfully. "I had a feeding tube in the start too. Nasty thing it was. I refused to eat a single thing. It was probably after at least 12 feeds that I decided to man up and negotiate with them. They took the tube out thinking I'd try some solid food and I ran out of the dining room and onto the street. Made it quite far as well if I should say so myself, but they have better security now so don't go trying that. Just tell them you'll try some food – eat something small, just a couple of bites – and they won't put a tube back in. Honestly, a huge plate of food is much better than the amount of calories in a feeding bag."
"I just want to be with my girlfriend." Jace said sulkily, rubbing the tube in frustration as it irritated his cheek.
"Refusing to comply with the staff will just mean you'll have to wait even longer to see your girlfriend." Edward shuffled onto Jace's small bed and rested his head against the wall. "Just listen to them."
After sitting in silence for a few moments, Matthew opened the door and came into the room with Kate behind him. He smiled at Jace before pressing a few buttons on the machine. "How are you doing?"
"Fine." Jace watched Kate carefully, following her movements with his eyes to make sure she wasn't going to do anything he didn't want her to.
"Good to hear." Matthew said, although Jace knew he didn't believe him. "We want to do an assessment with you today to see where you are. We can then make a suitable care plan and food diary. Edward is then going to take you to experimental group at 1pm – its music."
"Whatever." Jace murmured. How could he think about playing music if he was stuck in a place like this?
He sat on the bed in complete detachment as Matthew asked him questions about his eating, about what he thought of himself and how he managed with day to day life. He grudgingly complied as Kate weighed him and took measurements. He stood, unmoving, as she checked his nails, his throat and spine. The entire time he just thought about Clary, thought about how beautiful she was when she slept beside him, how she always smelt like striking fresh roses. He longed to be able to look into her striking eyes and find peace.
"Okay," Matthew brought Jace back to reality. "I'm just going to start you on a main meal in 2 days. If that goes well, we'll add a small pudding. Perhaps some fruit with a little bit of cream or ice cream. I'm concerned with your lack of calories, so we'll get some vitamins from the medical room later on. Kate will do a blood test tomorrow morning to make sure everything is fine. Now, go with Edward and have some fun, okay?"
Jace ignored Matthew's hopefully smile and secured his arms around his legs as they left the room. "I'm not going anywhere with this thing in me." He told Edward.
Edward moved towards the tube, squishing it between his thumb and index finger as he pulled it out from the bag. He pulled a green plastic cap from the side of the machine and slid it over the end of the tube. "Unfortunately, you have no choice. You'll have to keep the tube in your nose but you can disconnect the machine to go on walk abouts. The feed will continue when you get back. Here, clip this somewhere." He held out the tube and Jace clipped it to the end of his shirt so it didn't fall to the floor.
"Let's go play some music." Edward grinned, leading Jace from the room and up two flights of stairs to a large room at the end of a hallway. It was painted a deep red, musical instruments positioned everywhere on the patterned red and cream carpet. Jace had never seen so many instruments in one place before.
Violins, harps, pianos, drums and guitars were the largest instruments, each holding their own superior places against the walls. In a circle on the floor were shakers, tambourines and rain makers – perhaps for those less musical.
"Hello!" A woman from the front of the room called out to them. "I'm Jane. You must be Jace?" She added when she saw Jace standing awkwardly beside Edward.
Pink flooded his cheeks at the thought of everyone in the room looking at his feeding tube. "Um, yes." He looked up from where he was staring at the carpet and took her hand politely.
"Do you play?" She started to head off for the carpet, probably thinking he hadn't picked up an instrument before.
"Yes, piano." He surprised her so she turned around and led him over to grand piano in the corner of the room. It hadn't looked like it had been used before, Jace thought, and he sat down hesitantly on the seat before opening the case and staring at the keys.
A small smile enlightened his shadowed face at the memories of all the times he had played, as a child and for Clary at the institute. The piano was so new that the polished wood reflected his sunken appearance. He ran his calloused fingers over the keys, closing his eyes in relief as a tune flowed across the air.
It was in that moment that Jace found peace in a place so dark. If he could not have Clary, then he would have music. He would let his emotions run free and flow through his fingers as they hit each note with purpose. Through the darkness, he pulled the light and blocked out the world he so blissfully had grown to abhorrence.
Jace loves his music ;) aw.
Getting the house all ready for my sweet baby Sylas to come home Friday! I am so excited. I've been washing everything in his Nursery like mad and organizing it ready for him. Hence why the chapter isn't so long, but I know you'll all understand :')
Thanks for the reviews!
