Peter Vs Happy
Happy
This is a bad idea. This is a terrible idea. Liz is going to be so pissed. I'm going to be so screwed. She's going to kill me.
I take extra care on the roads as we drive through traffic, not because Tony Stark looks like crap and like he might fall apart at any given moment, but also because of the fact that there IS A FREAKING KID IN MY CAR AND I, DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!
"His name is Peter Parker, he'll be helping us," Was Mr. Stark's elusive answer, and I don't think that he was ever more in danger of being strangled by me than right now.
The kid stares out the window in awe, and I try to evaluate his age; can't be more than 15, 16. I'm not an idiot (despite everyone thinking so) and I'm well informed of the feud between Captain America and Iron Man, and I know how dangerous the people fighting this war can be, and I know that if Tony is going to involve the kid, then Liz is going to give him some serious shit.
Sometimes, I feel that Tony has moments when he loses his ability to think and act rationally, and I wonder if that is a common symptom of being so smart. I also wonder why the hell I'm still here, and why I haven't quit this job yet. A normal person wouldn't be able to handle one Stark on their good day, and I've been handling two of them on terrible ones.
"Mr. Stark," Jarvis' voice blares through the owner's cell phone, and I remind myself that if Jarvis was ever a human being (he was once), he would have killed the Starks himself.
"Yes J?"
"You have a call from Ms. Romanoff, shall I put her through?"
He shrugs uncaringly, but I see the curiosity in his eyes, "Why not."
Tony is then occupied, quietly speaking into the phone to his teammate, and I'm left glaring at the Parker boy, the boy who, if he had the sense to consider the dangers of entering into a war created by the Avengers and declined Tony's offer, could have saved me from a certain death lashing from Elizabeth Stark.
Instead, he looks at me with unordinary excited eyes, asking me, "Where are we going?"
"Wherever I decide to take you," I grunt, vaguely allowing him a full display of my discontent.
He either doesn't get the message, or chooses to ignore my (well-reasoned) faulty mood and continues to babble off, "Is it true that Mr. Stark owns a share in almost half of these buildings?"
"I don't care," I scornfully tell him, my voice raised enough for Tony to press himself further back into the seat to hear Natasha.
We pull up into the five-star hotel the kid's been booked into and I turn the car expertly into the valet parking spots, under the large, flashy sign indicating that the designated area is meant for no one but a Stark.
Even though it is Tony who uses the valet spots and the five star hotels, everything that he has belongs to his sister as well, and it also includes minuscule things such as parking lots and spots even though there has never been a day in my fifteen years of working with them that I've seen her use it.
"Okay, out we go," Tony, at some point has finished his phone call to Natasha, and is now staring expectantly at the two of us.
He gets out of the car and when I do the same, he gestures towards the kid's door, and I'm not shy to roll my eyes and allow him full display on my discomfort as I open the door. The kid jumps out of the car as if he were a dog or something and runs towards the other side, causing me to ask Tony telepathically once again,
What that hell were you thinking?
Tony Stark is a regular customer at the hotel and so no one bats an eye as he strolls through the front desk and into the private elevator in leisure, and I (unwillingly) appoint myself the guardian of the kid trailing him, who looks so out of place in his jeans and bomber jacket and receives a series of unamused looks from the high-class celebrities causing me to walk closer to him, sending everyone a silent message that he is with us.
When the elevators finally close, and we are hidden from the world for a moment, Parker's words vomit out, "So...what are we doing here? I thought we were going to go to the Avengers Tower."
Tony shakes his head, right as the doors open and I lead the way since I was the one who booked the room, "Nope, you need a place to stay for the night. This is your place to stay for the night."
I produce a key from my pocket and click it in through the slit, opening the door to the suite, and I watch in amusement as the kid's mouth bobs up and down like a goldfish as he takes in the enormity of the room.
"This is...this is bigger than my apartment!" He looks around in shock and before either of us can answer, he runs off through the door to where the bathroom is and I hear a shout of impressiveness and awe before he runs into the kitchen and so on and so forth.
Tony pats my shoulder, "I'm going to call Lizzie, keep an eye on him for me will ya. Can't have the kid break something before the battle."
He's out the door before I can fall on my knees, grab onto his legs and keep him from calling Liz, because he obviously doesn't know how much shit she's going to give me and him, but mostly me.
"Mr. Happy?" Peter's curious face is in my view and I can't even muster up the energy to glare (I'm too busy mentally writing my will), "Are you all right?"
I decided to vent my frustrations to the kid, who is the reason why Elizabeth is going to rip my skin off with an icicle, "No! I'm not okay. Tony is calling his sister, and she's going to be so pissed you're here. She's probably going to electrocute her brother, stab me repeatedly with an icicle until I'm dead, and then blow up this entire hotel. She can do it in less than a minute."
And sure, maybe I was over-reacting the slightest of bits. Maybe I had scared the kid too much, judging by his wide eyes and pale skin. But I've had a terrible day, and somehow, scaring little children just makes me feel a little eviler, and little better (it's funny how much I understand Justin Hammer at this point).
A chime interrupts the tense atmosphere in the room, and I read the text before turning towards the visibly shaken kid, "Stay here. Liz is here, I'm going to bring her up."
He doesn't say a word, just nods numbly, and I find myself missing the kid's energetic enthusiasm and lengthy responses.
I walk out and find the elevator, pressing the button that would take me towards the underground parking lot, where I know Liz prefers to park. She also prefers to drive herself, says something along the lines of freedom, control, and wind.
She smiles at me when the doors open, and even though she looks as beautiful as ever (It seems to be a family thing, the Starks never look anything but perfect), I see the redness in her eyes and sunken cheeks, indicating stress, worry and lack of sleep.
"Are you going to tell me what's going on?" She raises an arched eyebrow, and l look at Tony for guidance.
He shakes his head, "No he is not, because you'll figure out yourself in a matter of time,"
His sister completely ignores him, piercing her dark eyes on me, "Happy..." she warns threateningly.
I gulp.
The other Stark on the other side of me hisses in my ear, "Don't you dare Happs,"
I feel perspiration coat my forehead.
Then, I'm quite literally saved by the bell, when the elevator chimes open and Tony pulls his sister out of it, dragging her across the halls in front of room 658, where a probably scared out of his mind Peter Parkers stands.
She flings the door open and I can expect her look of shock and confusion as she freezes in her spot to stare at the awkward fifteen-year-old.
"Is that your son?" She whispers into her brother's ear, and I laugh because considering Tony, it is truly the most possible probability.
Tony shakes his head vigorously, but Peter answers her question, "H—hi Ms. Stark. I'm...my name is Peter Parker, and Mr. Stark, your brother, he came to my home in Queen and took me here." He shakes his head to clear his thoughts, but then comes off sounding worse, "He didn't kidnap me or anything! I came here voluntarily, to help. Help you and Mr. Stark fight Captain America and his team."
For the first time, I see Elizabeth Stark speechless, unable to say anything (good, let her get a taste of her own medicine. This is how we feel after she's had a particularly long ramble, just worse), just staring at the young boy who is now nervously shifting from one foot to another.
She takes a deep breath and Tony and I simultaneously stare at each other, as we watch Liz hold onto the last remnants of her patience to smile sweetly (from where he is standing, Peter probably can't see the fury on her face) at Peter,
"Will you excuse the three of us for a moment, Peter?"
He nods, and I see relief in his face at the prospect of the hotel not burning to flames and his idol very much alive and not electrocuted.
She fists both our jackets, and yanks us into the hallway, somehow finding a way to shut the door with both her hands occupied.
"What were you thinking?" She screams, her voice echoing through the long and complex halls.
I note, with incredible relief that her murderous glare in pinned on Tony, and I hastily look around at my surroundings through my peripheral vision to find the best escape route.
"Are you nuts Tony?" I see the exact moment when Tony realizes how much of a shit plan this was, because his eyes comically widen and he sheepishly shrugs at his sister.
"I panicked, and I saw the footage of Peter so I decided to..."
Liz can be an exceptional listener most of the time excluding the times when she is angry; then, she has no tolerance to listen to excuses and blubbers of words.
"...What, bring in a little kid to fight against two super soldiers, a man with mechanical wings, and two enhanced humans? You do realize that you are responsible for him right?"
Her complete attention is focused on trying to attempt reason with her brother and so I decide to make my escape, turning around and attempting to run the other way. A hand on my collar stops me, and I grudgingly find that Liz's stern expression has diverted to me.
"You know, you're supposed to be the rational one out of the two of you."
I raise both my hands up in protest, gaining much-needed confidence when I see that she isn't really as mad at me compared to Tony, "Hey, he's my boss. I'm supposed to do what he tells me to do,"
She rolls her eyes at me, "That wouldn't have been such a shitty excuse if you haven't been defying the two of us for the past ten years and telling us what to do. After Pepper, I can't think of anyone who hasn't parented me more."
She heaves in a great sigh, and I make a mental note to myself to drag her to the theatre room and watch any movie she wants along with eating any food she wants for a whole night. She deserves it.
"But since you seem to be in the whole boss slash employee mentality, why don't you go bring the car Happs, so that your boss can get himself to work on locating Barnes and Steve and coming up with ways as to how we can avoid a fight?"
She doesn't need to tell me twice and, ignoring Tony's pleas, then threat to stay, I dash out of there immediately, the elevator opening in time for me to hear Liz screaming at Tony once more.
I drown out the lecture on guardianship, responsibility, and children until I don't need to, and then I'm in the comfort of my limo, unable to do much apart from sitting in the driver's seat and waiting for the oldest Stark to make an appearance.
I can't help but feel worried for the kid.
Peter
The room is huge. It's basically an entire apartment and there have been very few moments where I have imagined myself privy to such luxury. But on the rare occasion where I have dreamed of getting into such places of high pristine, the first thing I always did was jump around the room, on the bed, turn on the TV, order as much junk food as I can and have the time of my life.
Instead, I sit in the comfy armchair looking out the window, unable to appreciate the view due to the pounding fear in my heart.
Mr. Hogan really scared me when he told me about . While she appeared on the news occasionally, it was never as often as her brother was, and I'm not entirely sure how she really is as a person. Mr. Hogan told me that she was going to be so pissed at Mr. Stark for bringing me here, and even though she was polite to me during our initial meeting, I'm afraid she's going to send me back to Queens. Considering all the yelling that I hear from the other side of the door, it seems to be the most probable case.
A moment of silence (no yelling, no banter, just silence) later, I'm startled by the tapping on the door.
Presuming it to be Mr. Stark I fling it open, and unsuccessfully hide my shock when it turns out to be Ms. Stark, leaning against the doorframe, smiling at me nervously.
"Hi, Peter, right?" She asks me, looking much calmer and relaxed than she was when I first saw her.
I nod mutely, unable to say a word and she continues,
"So...um...Tony, Mr. Stark...whatever you call him, he went to the Tower to find Captain America's location and so I offered to help you settle in and at the time I thought it was an excellent idea, but now that I think about it, I'm not really sure whether you want me to help you settle in. So if you want, I can call Happy, and he'll be here in ten minutes and he'll help you unpack and you know..." She trails off awkwardly, and the fact that I know how nervous she is about this as well, allows me to grow more comfortable.
"No, No. Mr. Hogan doesn't have to come back." Hastily I add, "You don't have to either, I can figure things out on my own."
She smiles warmly at me, "I'm sure you can, but it'd be much easier if I helped, and I don't have anything else to do and I fear I'm going crazy so..."
I smile at her, but then the smile turns into a sheepish flush when my stomach grumbles too loudly for my preference, and judging by the sound of the growl, I'm surprised all of New York didn't hear it.
"Why don't we get something to eat first? I haven't eaten since lunch yesterday and I'm can bet you I can make a hungry growl far louder than yours." As she speaks, she makes her way towards the door and I'm left with no choice but to follow her out (not that there was any choice; I would do anything for something to eat right now).
We walk through the busy streets until we reach a small, cozy looking cafe, and I'm secretly grateful that she didn't take me to some fancy restaurant that these rich people waste their time on.
We seat ourselves in a booth at the far back and the owners of the cafe spot her immediately despite her blending in, effectively in the crowd with her jean jacket, leggings, and ponytail.
"M.s Stark, how are you doing this morning?" The owner approaches us with kind eyes, stooping down to our level, and maintaining a quiet whisper.
"I'm good, you know...considering everything. Thank you."
He then focuses his attention on me, and produces a notepad, and I immediately decide that I like this guy. When traveling with Mr. Stark, most people either brushed off my presence as something unimportant, or just pretended I wasn't there.
"What are your orders for today?"
I look at Ms. Stark and she nods towards me, indicating to order whatever I want. I look at the menu and unconsciously grab the bills in my pocket, mentally weighing how much I can afford to buy for my meal.
"Can I get the pancakes with ice cream please," I ask the owner, ordering the one thing that caught my eye.
He writes it down with a dramatic flourish and looks towards Ms. Stark who looks as excited as I do as she scrolls through the list of foods.
"I will have the waffles with maple syrup, ice cream, and blueberries. Oh, and hot cocoa for the two of us!" She exclaims just as the owner makes his way to leave, and he nods his head in understanding, before scurrying off into the kitchen.
"So, Peter, how much has Tony actually told you about the Accords?" Ms. Stark asks me, not bothering to make small talk and beat around the bush. I suppose it's because they're all on limited time.
I clear my throat, "Um...he told me that Captain America is helping The Winter Solider escape, and that we need to find him before someone else does. He told me that the Winter Soldier is probably innocent in most of this, and that the Scarlet Witch, Falcon, and Hawkeye are a part of his team."
She blinks her eyes, looking quite shocked.
"That actually almost sums it all up. I'm surprised he actually told you everything. He usually has a hard time doing that." She tells me, looking pretty proud of her brother.
She scans the sparsely populated cafe to check if anyone is trying to overhear our conversation (as any sane person would do suppose someone as famous as Elizabeth Stark started to gossip in close vicinity) before lowering her voice; not too much that it's a whisper, but just enough so that it doesn't echo, "Look, I know you think you know what your signing up for. And you are old enough to make your own judgments. I just want you to know that this is not going to be easy. I know Steve Rogers more than Tony does and I know that he is not going to surrender without a fight. And I really don't want you getting caught in the crossfire."
She tells me things that I have already suspected. They're unnecessary, because I've weighed the pros and cons of this particular trip in the plane, and I made the choice to come out here and make an actual difference as Spiderman rather than stop petty thefts and car crashes. I want to be able to do something worthwhile with these powers, and I truly think that the world will benefit if Captain America is not a fugitive.
The words Mr. Stark said previously come back to me, and I question Ms. Stark, "Mr. Stark said that Captain America was dangerous because he is wrong and he thinks he is right."
I give her a moment to think. Because while Mr. Stark was talking about the man in the costume, referring to him in terms of variables and science, Ms. Stark has a completely different relationship with him (the kind that was plastered all over the news for three months and never really left) and a statement like that takes some time to consider.
She replies sooner than I expected, "No. Tony's talking about the Accords. There's no right or wrong there. It's a matter of opinion and values." She pauses, truly debating over whether she should say the next thing that crosses her mind, "No, Steve Rogers is dangerous because he's giving up everything he has to salvage his past and he's ruining his future in the process."
Next thing I know, is that there are two plates stacked high with pancakes and waffles being set on the table and the conversation takes a much lighter turn. We talk about everything; school, Mr. Stark, Aunt Mae, the Hulk, The Avengers, New York's invasion, Ultron, Stark Med, my powers, Ned, high school.
It turns out that I was worried about meeting Ms. Stark for no reason after all.
Rhodey
Oh, Crap!
This isn't good. This wasn't supposed to happen. We had a plan. Anybody remember the plan? The one where we calmly (emphasis on the calm), peacefully (emphasis on the peace), and civilly (emphasis on the civil) convince team Cap to come back to the headquarters with us so that we will figure a way out of this without anyone getting hurt.
Instead, we're standing across from each other, as if we were America and Germany in the Second World War, neither side willing to come to an agreement and fix this.
"Your judgment is askew," Tony has malice dripping out of his voice.
Oh, Crap.
Many people think that being Tony Stark's best friend comes with a whole world of opportunities and advantageous. It's true. I've worked my ass off and poured everything I have to get into the position I am right now, but it always helped that I had contacts, resources, and a private jet at my disposal as an aid to achieve my goals.
But being Tony Stark's best friend requires many learning curves, especially after you are sucked into all things Stark.
The Number One Rule; call Liz when things get out of hand. Never, ever try to handle it on your own; you're just going to fail.
Tony and Captain are still arguing about something as I tell the AI programmed into the suit, "Anna, mute my intercom."
The faint click indicates the completion of the task, and I raise my voice so that Anna hears my next task, "Call Elizabeth Stark. Make sure she picks up."
It's not as if she won't. The poor girl's been on an edge ever since this whole fiasco started, she picks up every damn phone call she receives before it even starts to ring. When this is all over someone better book her a trip to the Bahamas. I'm going to book her a trip to the Bahamas.
"Rhodes?" She answers in one ring (as expected), and I force myself to keep calm as Natasha surrounds Steve.
"I'm sending you the address; get your ass over here now."
"What's going on?" she asks, and I hear the rustling in the background, telling me that she is out of her seat, and leaving the Tower as we speak.
"Tony found Steve. Steve is being stubborn. Tony is also being stubborn. They don't want to talk it out. Tony's spider friend is ready to pounce. This is a disaster." I summarize the events taking place as best as I can, leaving out the minuscule details for when she arrives.
Such as the spider – thing making his entry by stealing Captain's shield.
Oh, Crap.
"Hey Rhodes, do you think Tony will get mad if I borrowed his suits?" She asks suddenly, and I have to appreciate her quick thinking (the suit will get her here faster than anything else will) and scoff at her ignorance.
Tony has all the suits programmed to her first, even before him.
So I answer truthfully, stating one fact that no one in this world will ever disagree on (we can make world peace with this truth) "Honey, I don't think he'll be mad if you wanted to borrow his heart. Now get your ass over here."
She replies with an "on my way" and the line goes dead just as something rises out of thin air and knocks spider boy down and returns the shield to Captain.
OH, CRAP
