Chapter 7

When they returned to the apartment, they unpacked Chakotay's clothing and put it away, and then he went to the extra bedroom to put some of his books and other things in the bookshelves. Kathryn sat down at her desk to contact her mother to let her know that Chakotay would be going with her. Chakotay heard Gretchen exclaim, "Oh, honey, that's wonderful! You can have the downstairs suite."

"Mom," Kathryn said, "I didn't even tell you if he was going as just a friend."

"You don't have to," Gretchen said. "I can see it your face. You are in love."

Chakotay smiled to himself and heard Kathryn ask, "Is it that obvious?"

"I am your mother. I know you and your moods better than you do."

"We will be there the day after tomorrow."

"Is he there with you now?" Gretchen asked.

Kathryn called to Chakotay and he walked into view of the screen and bent down by her chair, his arm around her shoulders. He could definitely see the family resemblance in the color of the eyes, and the strong cheekbones and chin. "Hello, Mrs. Janeway," he said.

"Ooh, you are a cutie, aren't you?" Gretchen said.

He laughed as Kathryn said, "Mom!"

Gretchen smiled. "Tell me what kind of food you like so I make sure I can feed you."

Chakotay said, "I will make you deal. I'll eat anything you have, so long as you let me help with the cooking."

She looked at Kathryn and asked, "Does he cook better than you?"

Chakotay grinned and Kathryn said, "Yes, he does, Mother. He prepared many meals for me on Voyager."

"In that case," Gretchen said to him, "I will let you help with a couple of meals. But I love to cook, and you are supposed to be on vacation."

"It will be a pleasure to help out, Mrs. Janeway," he said.

"Call me Gretchen. I'm old enough I don't have to stand on the social niceties anymore."

Kathryn said, "Mom, there is one more thing I should tell you. Chakotay has moved in with me."

Gretchen smiled and her eyes twinkled. "Honey, if you hadn't let him move in with you, he'd be living here."

Kathryn's cheeks turned pink. "We will see you a couple of days, Mom. I love you."

Gretchen blew her a kiss and ended the link. Chakotay chuckled and kissed Kathryn on the cheek. "I like her already," he said. "I was thinking of soup and salad for dinner. Are you hungry?"

"I am, thank you." She followed him to the kitchen and they quickly prepared the food. During the meal, she told him stories about her mother. Their families back home had been a subject they did not discuss very often when lost in the Delta Quadrant not knowing if they would ever see them again. Chakotay enjoyed learning more about Kathryn's history and recognized a lot of her mother in her. Although Kathryn had followed her father into Starfleet, he suspected it may have been Gretchen's influence that gave Kathryn the ability to command like she did.

They finished eating and cleared their dishes away. Chakotay moved to the sitting room while Kathryn poured wine for them both. When she entered the room, Chakotay had his arm bent above his head leaning against the picture window. She set the glasses down and hugged him from behind. He raised his other arm for her to snuggle under. "Are you okay?" she asked.

He gazed out the window and said, "I was just thinking. How much does your family know about me? About my history?"

"Not much, really. Most of what I have told them has been about you as my First Officer. Why?"

"They are going to want to know more about me, about my family. I need to decide how much to tell them. The word 'Maquis' is not exactly welcomed in most Starfleet homes."

She leaned her head on his chest. "I'm sorry, Chakotay. I can talk to Mom in private if you want."

"No, it's okay. I can't avoid it or pretend like it isn't an issue. I joined to defend my colony and continue the cause my father died for. Your family has a right to know who I am and where I come from."

She placed her hand on his cheek and pulled his gaze to her. "They do not need to know any more than you are willing to tell."

"I don't want them to think I am trying to hide something from them, Kathryn." He shook his head and said, "I don't know. I guess this is the first time I have really had to face this situation." His fingers lightly trailed over her jaw as he said, "I haven't cared enough about anyone else to worry what her family might think."

"My family will love you, Chakotay, because I do. This is our first trip. They don't have to know your life history in the next two weeks. Remember, my mother has been around Starfleet most of her life. Chances are she knows about what happened to the colony on Trebus. She will understand."

He leaned down and kissed her. "I think I'm going to go for a walk."

"Would you like me to come?" she asked.

He looked undecided for a moment, but then smiled softly at her. "Yes, I would like that."

They started for the door, and as he passed the table where she left the wine he picked up a glass and downed it all at once. She winced and laced her fingers in his. She had no idea how to help him except to be there for him. The loss of her father had been very painful for her. He had lost not only his father, but many of the people he grew up with and loved.

They walked through the streets together in no particular direction. He was quiet as they went, but she would feel his hand grip hers tighter several times. The summer sun was disappearing over the horizon as they reached a more secluded, peaceful neighborhood. The houses had large yards with trees and flowering bushes growing in abundance. They soon spotted a small park and Chakotay steered her toward it. There was a large tree with low hanging branches on a small rise, and he sat on the ground with his back resting against the trunk. He gently tugged her down to sit between his legs, and she leaned back against his chest, his arms around her waist and his chin on her shoulder.

"I've never been in this area before," she said. "This seems like a nice, quiet neighborhood."

"Yes, it does," he said softly. "Sometimes this city is so busy and full of lights and people that I can hardly think."

"I know what you mean," she said. "It never bothered me before. Since we got back, though, I find myself wishing for some place a little more isolated."

"My home colony was pretty isolated," he said, his voice barely a whisper. She didn't respond, hoping he would continue, and after a minute he did. "My family lived in a small house near a lake." He talked about his father trying to teach him the history and traditions of his people. He spoke of his sister and how beautiful and kind she is. He told her about spending all of his spare time as a kid outside, playing games and sports and swimming with the other children.

For two hours they sat under the tree in the night, and he held her and talked. She listened to every word, and heard a lot in what he did not say, also. He did not talk about his father's death in the Maquis, or the attacks by the Cardassians against his world, or his decision to leave Starfleet and take up his father's fight. He spoke of the loved ones he once had, not the ones he lost.

When finally he grew silent, she turned in his arms and gazed up at him. She traced her fingertips over the tribal mark above his brow, the one he had taken to honor his father's memory. He kissed her forehead, the tip of her nose, and finally her lips as he slipped his arm under her knees between his and lifted her onto his lap. His hand caressed her cheek and under her ear to the nape of her neck. When the pressure eased and he broke the kiss, she smiled softly.

"I love you, Chakotay," she said.

He kissed her again and looked out over the park. "We should head back. It is late."

She nodded her head and said, "Just promise me one thing, Chakotay."

"What's that?"

"Promise me you won't hide from me."

He looked at her silently for a moment before saying quietly, "I promise." He ran his fingers through her hair and smoothed it back from her face. He helped her stand up, then she helped to pull him up, both of them groaning. He chuckled and said, "So maybe the ground wasn't the best place to sit. I'm not as young as I like to think I am."

"Oh, I don't know," she said with a grin. "You have seemed pretty spry to me the last couple of days."

He laughed and wrapped her in his arms again before taking her hand to walk home. With Kathryn at his side, the ghosts of his home world were beginning to fade.

When they entered the apartment, he collected the glasses off the table and went to the kitchen to pour fresh wine for them. He left it to breathe while he went upstairs to change into something more comfortable. As he entered the bedroom, Kathryn came out of the bathroom in her bra and panties and startled, her fist clenching before it halted in mid-air. She started laughing and said, "I'm sorry! I guess I have to get used to living with you."

His eyes went wide before he started laughing with her. "Remind me to disable the phasers until you do."

She giggled harder and reached for her peach nightgown, pulling it over her head before unhooking her bra and pulling the straps down her arms and out from under the gown. He said, "You don't have to do that. I am capable of controlling myself." She quirked her eyebrow at him and he said, "Well, usually." She picked up her book off the nightstand and walked to the door, stopping to smile seductively over her shoulder at him. "Okay, sometimes," he sighed. She laughed again and headed downstairs, leaving him staring after her.

Chakotay changed into a pair of soft pajama bottoms and T-shirt. He retrieved their wine from the kitchen and handed her glass to her with a kiss before settling at the other end of the sofa with his book. They sipped their drinks and read, the silence comfortable and relaxing. After about an hour, he was starting to nod off. He closed his book and leaned across the cushions to kiss her goodnight. "I'm going to bed," he yawned. "I love you."

She cupped his cheek and said, "I will be up soon. I love you, too."

It was another hour before Kathryn headed upstairs. Chakotay was sleeping soundly and her heart filled at the sight of him. She slid under the covers and lay on her side with her hand resting on his chest, his strong heartbeat lulling her to sleep.

When she awoke the next morning, Chakotay was raised up on his elbow gazing down at her, his arm draped over her. He saw her eyes open and said with a smile, "Good morning, love." She blinked and smiled back at him. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"Watching you sleep."

"Why?"

"Because you melt my heart," he said as he kissed her on the cheek.

She laid her arm over his and snuggled closer to him. "You are too good to me, Chakotay."

"No," he said. "I'm just taking advantage of the fact that I can tell you everything I have wanted to say for the last few years."

She squeezed his arm and said, "I wanted to tell you, too, Chakotay. I knew I loved you even though I tried to deny it. We did what we had to do for Voyager. I plan to spend the rest of my life making it up to you."

He hugged her to him and they held each other, their silence speaking volumes between them. Finally, she gently pulled away and sat up. "I'll be out in a minute," she said as she walked to the bathroom. He got up and made the bed and went downstairs to make coffee. He heard the communication alert from the computer and was surprised to see it was for him. He activated the screen and saw Tal Celes. She looked upset.

"Commander," she said. "Am I disturbing you?"

"No, Tal. How are you?" he asked.

She worried at her bottom lip with her teeth before saying, "I am leaving in an hour to go home. Do you remember the talks we had about my family?"

Kathryn was coming down the stairs and paused at the bottom when she heard the conversation. Chakotay waved her into the room. "I remember, Tal. The Captain is here with me. Did you want this conversation to be private?"

She looked uncertain for a moment but said, "No, it's okay."

"You don't look like you are very happy about going home," he said.

"I am not. I know I am going to have to face my parents' questions about what I am going to do when my leave is over. I've told you Starfleet is the only thing they ever wanted for me. I only joined because of them, and you know as well as I do I don't belong. You told me before to think about what I would like to do if I weren't on Voyager. I have thought about it, and it is not Starfleet. How do I tell them that, though?"

"Tal," Chakotay said, "you gave everything you were capable of for over seven years. You were part of the greatest Starfleet mission in history. You can resign your commission with honor, knowing you gave it your all and more. You are not the young girl you were when you last left your parents. You are a woman with your own hopes and dreams. What do you really want to do for you, not for what is expected of you?"

She smiled shyly and said, "I want to marry Billy and just be a mother, and maybe teach children."

Chakotay smiled back at her. "Tal, there is no such thing as being just a mother, or a teacher. Those are two of the hardest jobs in the universe and will demand more of you than Voyager ever did. Billy is a good man, and I know the two of you would be wonderful parents. You would be a great teacher.

"It is time for you take control of your own life and follow your heart, Tal. I think your parents will understand. They thought they had lost you, and the joy of having you back will outweigh everything else. Tell them about the Delta Quadrant, share your stories of your struggles and achievements with them. But, don't let them take away the self-confidence you gained from all of that. You have proven yourself to your Captain and Commander, and to Starfleet."

Her face relaxed and she said, "Thank you, Commander. I think it is time I became my own woman. It wasn't easy, but I did survive Voyager, didn't I?"

"Yes, you did. You survived the last seven years. Now, it is time for you to live."

She thanked him for his advice and told him to tell the Captain hello.

"I will. Oh, and Tal," he said. "We will be waiting for news of the wedding, and the baby."

She nodded her head and grinned, then ended the communication.

Kathryn came up behind him up and laid her hands over his shoulders. "I never knew you talked to Tal about her family."

He turned the chair to face her and she sat on his lap. "I talked to a lot of the crew. We didn't have a ship counselor, so many of them came to me, especially the younger ones. I guess I was a sort of father figure or big brother. Sometimes, they just needed someone to listen. Other times, they needed advice about things. Tal struggled a lot with her feelings of inadequacy and the pressure her parents put on her."

"I am glad they had you," she said. "The senior staff would talk to me sometimes, but I think I was too intimidating for many of the general crew."

He chuckled and said, "Yes, you were. I got more than one appalled look if I recommended they approach you about something. You intimidated the hell out of the ones like Tal."

She grinned and kissed him. She stood up and said, "I'm going to get my coffee, then we have to pack and make the last minute arrangements for tomorrow."

He playfully grabbed her and pulled her back into his lap and a deep, passionate kiss. When he at last let her go, she laughed and said, "Well, I can see that I don't intimidate you at all."

"Oh, no, Captain," he said. "You do many other things to me."