Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

Chapter 7: The Kumo Affair - Part 2


Raikage-sama had more than done his part. Fire Country was full of fools, and it was well known the fools cherished three things best: love, peace, and donuts.

Konoha didn't disappoint.

No sir.

Kumo's Head Jounin, Mizono Kenta, and his 'delegation' had sailed into the Hidden Village of Hand-Holding Fools on the Good Ship (Fake) Peace Treaty. Their idiot civilians had cheered and celebrated as the party of 'foreign dignitaries' entered the village gates to proceed directly to the Hokage Tower. Their wrinkled little Hokage and his equally antique-show advisers had hemmed and hawed and wrung their wrinkly little hands. But they still scribbled their scrawls on Raikage-sama's papery diplomatic joke and happily bobbed their wrinkly heads, patting each other's wrinkly little backs.

How droll.

The shinobi of Konoha proved a somewhat different matter. Wary eyes, abruptly ended conversations; a little parade with a few foreigners was enough to distract their blue butt genin, but their jounin and ANBU, and even some chuunin it seemed... a few years did nothing to dim their taste for Lightning Country blood.

But they were still fools. An army of finely honed weapons willingly tied to a worn out Hokage who leashed them all to their feelings and camraderie and kumbayaaah.

Prior to his promotion to Head Jounin, Kenta had proven himself ten times over in the Third War. He knew the score. Though one of the most talented Kumonin of his generation, he had been allowed to ride straight into Konoha.

Trot, really.

And here he was, strolling right out with a pure blood Byakugan brat.

Okay, maybe he was massaging the truth.

He was hurtling at top speed back to Lightning Country carrying the Hyuuga heir like a sack of Wave Country oranges.

By the time the tree-huggers raised the alarm, he'd have rounded back halfway to the Frost Country border. And by the time he was back in Kumo getting pat on the back from Raikage-sama, those Konoha fools would still be bumbling around in the forest.

Entering the Hyuuga clan compound and nabbing the brat had been a complete joke. A simple D-rank earth jutsu had bypassed all those funny eyed fruitcakes and their precious doujutsu. He laughed inwardly.

Speaking of which...

Mizono paused on a branch and peeled back a cloth edge on the black bundle tucked under his arm. The unconscious girl was still breathing steadily; still blindfolded, bound, and gagged. She looked barely old enough to strap her own sandals on, but one could never be too careful when it came to international kidnapping endeavors. He tossed the cloth back over her face.

Just as he launched himself once more into the trees, a tidal wave of killing intent rolled into him. Mizono's body spasmed ever so slightly, his feet and chakra control slipping just enough to dump him down towards the forest floor.

Moments blurred into hours, and he watched his feet swing ponderously before him, up and over, even as the rest of his body rotated towards the ground, his already-bandaged head colliding with the branch he'd just been standing on. He twisted hard, instinctively clutching his prize close and manage to land on his feet, sandals thudding dully in the soft forest loam.

Something was out in this damned forest. He whipped out a kunai with his free hand, scanning his surroundings.

"Show yourself or the girl won't stay unharmed!" he called out into the darkness. The hairs on his nape suddenly stood straight up, even as he broke out in a fine sheen of sweat. He'd never felt such powerful, increasingly focused killing intent before. Whatever was producing it would likely catch him regardless of how hard and fast he tried to flee.

A light, mocking laughter pealed out from everywhere and nowhere, shattering the silence. Mizono whirled, nervous and unable to see the source.

"Sending out a blind pup like you... Kumo has fallen far indeed. Tell me, what breed of shinobi simply stands in the open, shouting challenges to his foes?" the voice taunted from the darkness.

Mizono whirled again, eyes slowly growing wider as both his eyes, ears, and decades of field experience failed to locate the voice's owner.

"...The dead kind," the voice whispered straight into Mizono's ear.

Mizono immediately ducked down while spinning counterclockwise, right leg flying up in a kick. He grunted, foot passing through empty air, but recovered quickly enough to settle back into a defensive stance.

"...Too slow..." The wind whispered, "…You've taken something of mine, but I've already taken it back."

Mizono looked down, realizing the bundle beneath his arm had been replaced by a mossy wooden log.

"What!? When...?" He immediately tossed it away from him.

"Uh-uh, that would be telling..." A man finally emerged from the dark, wraith-like, mere feet from Mizono, with the unconscious Hyuuga child held in one arm. Unruly blond hair, standard Konoha hitai-ate, standard Konoha jounin attire plus flak jacket.

Plus one very non-standard high collared white sage cloak, hemmed in red flame. Mizono's eyes bugged.

Impossible.

"Kai!"

"..."

"Kai!"

"..."

"KAAAAI!" Mizono stabbed his hand clear through with his kunai in desperation. He looked back up, and the Yellow Flash was gone.

Mizono let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. I knew it. Just a damned genjutsu.

"... Is that all you're taught in Kumo? We've much better genjutsu-dispelling methods in Konoha."

Mizono twist to his left, flinching. The Yondaime Hokage was leaning against a pale birch, still holding the girl with one arm, lazily twirling a three-pronged kunai with the other hand.

"I guess this is the part where you shout 'You're dead! Inconceivable!'" The Yondaime's slight smile quirked.

"Im-impossible! You are dead!" Mizono shouted. He pulled out a second kunai. "Both your Sandaime Hokage and daimyo announced it! There was a funeral and..." Mizono trailed off in horror. The Yondaime looked on with pity.

"You lied, You tree-hugging scum lied about the Demon Fox attacking the village and your death..." Mizono whispered as realization dawned.

"Oh no. That part is quite true. The Kyuubi did attack Konoha, but I stopped it. Oh, yes. And I made it my very own," the Yondaime grinned wide.

"No... no..." Mizono shook his head in denial and whimpered, "That's not even..."

"And why is that so hard to believe? You Kumo nin are all the same, saying this isn't possible, that isn't possible. Live a little! Dream big!" The pupil of the Yondaime's baby blues elongated into a vertical slit even as they coalesced into an ugly molten red.

A cloak of dark orange chakra bubbled angrily from his body, coating him head to toe. It contracted slightly and without warning, exploded in a massive shock wave, tossing Mizono hard against a tree.

The Kumo nin gasped, choking on blood and pain as he slid to the ground.

Wreathed in raw chakra fire, the Yondaime blinked out of existence only to materialize less then a meter away from the frightened Kumo nin. Mizono shrieked as the demon fox prince leaned down to lift the man by the throat with a clawed, burning hand. Nine distinct tails of chakra unfurled behind the monstrosity and wavered gently. The shrieking died in Mizono's throat as he felt his body go cold, and a detached calm bled in.

"HEAR ME, AND HEAR ME WELL!" The demon prince roared, "THESE ARE MYLANDS, MYFORESTS, AND MYPRECIOUS PEOPLE! YOU WOULD DO WELL TO REMEMBER THE FATE OF IWA, YOU FILTHY KUMO GARBAGE."

Iwa had a total route in the Third Secret War.

Actually, no.

Konoha had massacred them like a five year old with a pudding cup. And it was this horrid thing dangling him like a slab of beef, before it had become this horrid thing, that had single-handedly demolished in one sitting, the pudding cup that had been Iwa's elite ninja corps.

The demon smiled now, with a face full of razor sharp fangs. In his deathly, cold-bodied calm, Mizono wondered if the demon sometimes swallowed loose teeth like a shark when it ate.

"… m-monster..." Mizono gasped as he struggled more frantically, trying to peel himself free. The demon-Yondaime abruptly released his grip, dumping the terrified man face down. He scrambled away, somehow righting himself, blindly scooting away until his back bumped into a tree.

"A monster you say? I'll show you a monster..."

From the gloom, two enormous smoldering orbs, looking remarkably like eyes, appeared some distance behind the demon-Yondaime. Two great orange paws with fire-blackened claws emerged as well, setting down one on each side of the man.

And as Mizono stared at the giant eyes, they came closer, set in the face of an immense fox. It began laughing at him, harsh and hollow, and Mizono found he could take no more.

"NO! NOOO! STAY AWAY FROM ME!" He screamed as he grabbed a fallen branch, swinging wildly at the approaching fox demon.

Dozens upon dozens of tiny flickering red eyes appeared in the shadows now.

The terrible fox roared as it pounced. The last thing Mizono saw was a yawning wet chasm of flesh and teeth closing around him. He screamed, and the last thing to go through his mind was his own teeth.


The chakra flames dispersed as Kurama turned inward, relinquishing control back to his container.

I might be going out on a limb here, but I'd say you went a tad overkill.

Naruto stared at the insensate shinobi at his feet. The man had foamed slightly at the mouth, and his one visible eye had rolled back in its socket.

It worked. I fail to see the flaw in my performance. Kurama sulked.

It's a wonder the guy didn't pee himself. I guess the Yondaime was a real badass, huh?

Sometimes, kit, its not how much strength you have that matters, but how much strength your enemies BELIEVE you have.

Naruto scratched his head. Like... that puffy fish? It gets all spiky and twice as big?

Exactly kit. Exactly. Now let's return this young miss back to her den before she wakes and sees your face.

Naruto held onto the Hyuuga heiress as he released his Yondaime henge, his body rapidly deflating back to its true size in a puff of smoke.

He looked down at the girl in the pink kimono that he was holding bridal style. Instead of seeing a sleeping face with closed eyes, a pair of wide-open lavender eyes stared back at him in wonder.

Well... shit, demon and host thought together.


Hinata Hyuuga stared in silent wonder at the blond boy who was setting her gently on the forest floor to remove the kidnapper's bindings.

"Um... this is kind of awkward. My name is Uzumaki Naruto," the boy rubbed the back of his neck, nervously facing her in a low crouch. "And, uh, it would be really, really, super duper awesome if you didn't tell anyone what you just saw."

"... I d-didn't see what I j-just s-s-saw..." Hinata nodded, finding herself strangely enamored with the boy's cerulean eyes and the six strange whisker markings on his cheeks.

Awkward silence filled the air, until Hinata shivered slightly at the cold.

"Oh! You must be cold. Hold on a sec," the wonderful boy named Naruto pulled his shoulder pack off, lifting out a pink thermos. He unscrewed the cup cap to pour a slightly lumpy, steaming liquid. "Here you go. Be careful, it's still pretty hot!"

Hinata nodded dumbly as she took the proffered cup. She blew lightly at it, and the sweet vapors wafted to her nose. Red bean soup? She took a careful slurping sip, never taking her eyes from the boy before her.

The sweet red bean soup tasted exactly the way her mother had made it. Tiny tears rolled down her cheeks as her mother's memory flooded her.

Naruto panicked.

"I'm sorry! Does it... does it taste bad? Did you burn your tongue?" He apologized with an openly guilty look and a hand moved up to take the cup back.

"N-no... th-this is very d-delicious." She shook her head shyly, clutching the cup tighter as she tried to compose herself.

Naruto had dug a small kerchief from a pocket and held it out to her. She took it gladly and gently dabbed her face dry.

The uncomfortable silence settled again.

"N-n-naruto-sama?" She blushed as the boy stared straight back at her.

"Uh, call me Naruto okay? Just Naruto." The blond smiled cheerfully, checking their surroundings.

"O-Okay. Naruto." Hinata blushed.

First name basis! How awfully forward of me! Her little four year old heart hammered.

"N-naruto, w-what did you m-mean by be-belonging to y-you? And wuh-what did you me-mean by pre-precious p-people?" She asked, her voice ringing clear with innocent hope.

Startled by the question, Naruto didn't answer and instead stared into the shadowy forest behind her.

"N-naruto?"

The boy shot to his feet and dusted invisible snow off his pants.

"OhlookatthetimehelphasarrivedIbettergetgoingow," he blurted, preparing to rocket off into the forest.

"W-wait! Y-your s-soup thermos!" She called out frantically after him, hoping against hope that the wonderful boy with the wonderful smile might stay even a moment longer. She hastily screwed the cap back on, and thrust it out to him.

Naruto turned back, his eyes momentarily glazed over as if in introspection. Rather than taking the offered thermos she held, he wrapped his hands over hers. She gasped a little at the warmth he radiated, shivering slightly.

"No, it's yours now." Hinata's eyes went wide. "It's your birthday, isn't it? It's not much, but please accept this, Hinata-chan. It can be our little secret, okay?"

He winked and directed that incredible smile at her. It was all she could do just to move her head up and down in a dumb nod, what with her heart pounding so hard she thought it might burst from her chest. A literal bursting would be gruesome, but in her mind's eye, it was all sparkles and a world-spanning rainbow, at the end of which was a giant pink thermos and mind-melting blue eyes.

He let go of her hands and the thermos, leaving the spot in a powerful leap and a flip onto the branch above her.

"Ja ne!" He threw her a jaunty little wave, and as she waved back, he leapt again, and vanished into the night.

He called me Hinata-chan! Hinata-CHAN!

She sat down, huddled up in the kidnapper's black cloth, fingering the thermos and the little plush fox she found attached to it, as her blush slowly turned a dark and darker crimson.

Five seconds later, the heiress of the esteemed Hyuuga clan fainted.


Just a head's up kit; telling someone your name and then asking them to forget about it is a pretty piss poor method of keeping a secret.

SHUT UP! I just... lost my bearings for a second!

Loud laughter echoed in Naruto's mind-scape before falling silent.

Mn... a shining knight saving a princess in distress... how nostalgic. Kurama sighed, recalling Minato's long-ago mission to recover Kushina.

You did all the saving, not me. And shinobi aren't supposed to 'shine'. Naruto grumbled as he took a circuitous route back to the apartment.

Don't worry. In the future it will all be your own strength. You're just a kit, after all.

Naruto grinned.

Oh, and good going ladykiller.

What.

She is a good match. I can tell that shy little kit is going to mature into a fine vixen.

WHAT?

Good hips are important. Once you two kits are old enough to dig a deg, I bet she will be more than willing to bear you a litter or two healthy kits, if you just ask nicely.

Ugh. Doesn't marriage usually come before kids?

Contemplating marriage so soon? Could it be love? HOW PRECIOUSSS! My widdle Nawu-chan is in lu~u~urve!

Naruto groaned. Damned merciless fox demon.

Deep in the shared mindscape, Kurama's great paw brushed away a mock tear. Ah... kits mature so fast these day. One moment they're unweaned and you've just eaten the umbilicus, and the next they're heading their own pack, sniffing after females.

Sh-shut up! You... YOU ERO-KITSUNE!

Kurama roared with laughter.


Shisui leaped down from the trees to carefully approach the unconscious lump that was the Kumo 'ambassador'.

He toed him. Satisfied that the man wasn't dead or playing possum, Shisui promptly gave him a swift, ungentle kick in the ass before disarming and binding him hand and foot.

He then hurried over to the tiny Hyuuga heiress crumpled nearby in a quiet heap. He unwrapped the black cloth around her to begin a rudimentary first aid check.

Even breathing, pulse normal, no apparently wounds. Looks like she's completely unharmed, outside being unconscious.

He suddenly ducked down over the girl. A kunai screamed through the air Shisui's head had occupied a fraction of a second prior. The Uchiha rolled forward into a crouch, sword hand lightly gripping the hilt of the tanto sheathed on his back.

"How dare you harm Hinata-sama?! Remove yourself at once!" a long haired Hyuuga demanded from a nearby tree.

Shisui ignored the man's demand. He recognized dawned after a moment's study of the Hyuuga's face, and he promptly re-sheathed the partially drawn tanto with a slight click, before slowly holding his hands up.

"Hyuuga Hizashi, right?" Shisui asked. A tense second passed in silence.

"... Ah. I apologize for attacking you, Uchiha Shisui-san." Hizashi gave a quick bow.

The Uchiha wasn't particularly surprised the other man recognized him. All Konoha's shinobi clans kept privately compiled profiles on prominent members of the other clans. The Hyuuga were no exception.

"Hey, no harm, no foul. But to answer your question, I was just checking for injuries, after I finished up over there," Shisui jerked his chin at the unconscious Kumo nin. "She's out like a light, but she seems fine otherwise."

Hizashi nodded in relief, landing softly beside Hinata. Her tiny hands were clenched around a pink thermos he'd never seen before, but closer inspection revealed only some warm red bean soup. He scooped her up gently, and looked to Shisui.

"If you take her yourself to get checked out at the hospital, it'd save me a trip. I'll let Command know after I deposit buddy-boy here with Hokage-sama."

"I will. Thank you, Uchiha-san. I will bid you good night then," Hizashi dipped his head in acknowledgment to Shisui as he walked sedately over to the Kumo nin. Shisui tensed. The Hyuuga briefly studied the captive, before his eyes hardened and his foot snapped out in a low kick. Right into the nin's man bits.

A low, broken groan rang out into the clearing. Hizashi shifted Hinata in his arms, before leaping into the woods back to Konoha.

Shisui winced.

"Itachi-kun. You can come out now," he called out to the trees.

The boy slipped out on a high branch overlooking the clearing.

"How long have you been there?" Shisui barked out.

"... Long enough to see you required no aid."

"Well, get your scrawny butt down here and help me carry this bastard."

Shisui grabbed the man's legs as Itachi hopped down and hefted up the man's torso by the armpits.

"Kami, this S.O.B. is heavy," he huffed.

Itachi looked over his shoulder at his cousin. "... We are five klicks from the village."

"Itachi."

"Yes, Shisui-nii?"

"I really, really hate you sometimes."

"I know, Shisui-nii. I know."


Hizashi stood in the hospital waiting room. One foot tapped in an impatient rhythm as he fought the urge to ram down the examination room door. He settled for trying to burn a hole through the door with his eyes, and felt he was on the verge of success.

A scuffle down the hall at the nurses station drew his attention. A young nurse darted out from behind the counter.

Suddenly, a tense Hiashi turned the corner, about to storm down the corridor. The frantic nurse followed hot on his heels.

"Sir, please, wait a mome-" she called out.

Hiashi pivoted, and the woman cowered in the full face of his fury.

Hizashi slid hurriedly between his brother and the unfortunate nurse, just as Hiashi opened his mouth to berate her.

"Where is my daughter? I DEMAND TO SEE HER!" He turned and grabbed Hizashi, screaming as he shook him.

"She's fine, brother," Hizashi gently peeled his brother's hands from his shoulders. "The attending doctor said she preliminarily appears to be in perfect health, but went ahead with a comprehensive evaluation after she regained consciousness. It's just a precaution. They will be finished shortly."

Hiashi stared for a long moment, then hugged him tightly.

"I'm sorry, Hiashi. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Hiashi," Hizashi repeated over and over, tears running wild down his cheeks.

Slightly shocked at the sudden, raw outpouring, Hizashi awkwardly patted his brother's back.

"...Uh... there, there. it's fine aniue. It's fine. We're family, after all."

Crushing his brother in a back-breaking hug, the Hyuga clan head cried even harder.


"Y'know, this was supposed to be my weekend off, but noooo. You got me out here draggin' your heavy ass through the snow in the forest with your bandages stickin' out back. You gotta sneak around, actin' all stealthy... " Shisui grunted.

He lifted head and sniffed the air and his face seized with rage.

"AND WHAT IS THAT SMELL?"

Shisui dropped the Kumo-nin before turning around and delivering two hard kicks to the man's torso. The unconscious man groaned, but did not respond otherwise.

"I COULD HAVE BEEN AT A BARBEQUE! WITH MIKU!" Shisui screamed at the unconscious man.

He picked the man's legs again, suddenly calm again.

"But I ain't mad."

"Shisui-nii."

"What?!"

"Why are we carrying him when we could have sealed him inside a scroll?"

Silence.

"FUCK!"

Animals scattered and startled flocks of birds took to the sky in a six kilometer radius.


Four days later, the Sandaime Hokage Sarutobi Hiruzen gazed out over the village from his office windows. At his back were six men; three stood at attention, one knelt bound and chained, and the last two were ANBU with an iron grip on the kneeling man's bindings.

Sarutobi took a long pull on his pipe, puffing slowly as the sun rose over the eastern wall of the village.

"Jounin Mizono Kenta of Kumogakure. After extensive investigation, you are hereby found guilty of the following charges: one count of abduction of a civilian minor, one count of attempted unlawful transportation of a civilian minor, one count of breaking and entering, five counts of trespassing, and twenty-three counts of assault on registered shinobi while resisting confinement. Multiple felony charges necessitate consecutive sentencing of no less than twenty years of imprisonment and hard labor. How do you plead?"

Mizono's lips pressed tight in a grim line as he stared at the floor in silence.

"However." Sarutobi turned to peer at the former Head Jounin. "You might be please to hear we have informed Raikage-dono of the situation. He has acquiesced to altering certain terms of the proffered treaty in Konoha's favor, in exchange for your safe return to Lightning Country."

Mizono blinked slowly and looked up.

"... And I have agreed to these concessions. Once we have come to an agreement on and then signed the treaty, you will be released with the original dignitary party to return to your village. Considering the events that have transpired, you will understand if we place you and your party under twenty-four hour guard, yes?"

The Kumo nin nodded vigorously. Sarutobi waved to the ANBU and they gripped the man by the biceps to hoist him up. Mizono bowed as much as he could in gratitude while being frogmarched out of the Hokage's office.

The doors closed quietly behind them. Sarutobi turned to face the three remaining men.

"Well?"

Uchiha Shisui and Hyuuga Hizashi glanced warily at one another in confusion, before looking to the Hokage. Itachi simply stood at attention, silent.

"Sir?"

The old man angrily set his pipe down with a hard clack.

"Don't give me that! You three were the first on the scene. What happened out there that night?!" Sarutobi glared hard at the two wilting men and one stolid boy.

"We submitted our mission reports immediately upon return, Hokage-sama." Itachi's head tilted slightly in acknowledgment.

"I'VE READ YOUR KAMI-DAMNED REPORTS!" Sarutobi snapped, and the three flinched like puppies caught piddling on the office's carpet. Sarutobi sighed, "But... if your reports are truly accurate, and none of you had opportunity to stop him, by all rights that man should be long gone to Lightning Country. Instead, the miscreant is locked up in his hotel room with two squads of ANBU watching in case he so much as farts the wrong way!" A wrinkled finger jabbed at them accusingly.

"Uh, well..." Shisui began intelligently.

"Well what, boy? Spit it out!"

"I, uh, recall detecting a faint chakra signature heading away from the location at which we located the Hyuuga girl," Shisui nervously admitted. "I made no effort to investigate it at the time as our primary and secondary objectives were already secured and awaiting transport back to the village."

"Leaving Hinata-sama alone with the kidnapper would have been folly," Hizashi stated.

"Yes, yes it would have been," Sarutobi rubbed a temple. Shisui breathed a sign of relief and made a mental note to thank the Hyugua later.

"I am not angry with you three. In fact, I am very pleased you recovered Hyuuga Hinata and the ambassador without issue. What perturbs me is the undetected appearance, and subsequent disappearance, of what is most likely an unregistered shinobi of substantial prowess right in the heart of Fire Country, and possibly Konoha itself. This person seems to have effortlessly subdued one of Kumo's foremost nin without leaving behind so much a single shred of evidence."

The men digested the information silently as Sarutobi furiously puffed on his pipe.

"Knowledge of this mysterious benefactor does not leave this office, for now. You are all dismissed."

"Hai, Hokage-sama."

Sarutobi watched as they meekly bowed and filed out of his office.

I'm getting too old for this shit.


OMAKE

In the following week, patrols caught one Uchiha Shisui rifling through ANBU archives no less than thirteen times. When brought before both his superior office and the Director of ANBU, he eagerly imparted that he was searching for the contact information of a teenage girl, perhaps 15-16 years of age, with notably long turquoise green hair and eyes, and taicho, Director-san, I promised her a lunch date but I don't even know her number, help a guy out!

Considering Shisui's on-duty dedication and relatively flawless service record, the Director was tending towards mercy for the Uchiha's love-life. But snooping was snooping, so he had to get creative to arrive at a punishment that was harmless yet horrific.

Shisui was sentenced to one month of enforced training with fellow jounin Maito Gai. When he attempted to decline Gai's training 'gift' of a green spandex bodysuit, two ANBU guards emerged from the treeline, shaking their heads. He reluctantly clutched the green monstrosity and turned towards a high hedge to change clothes.

Three days later, Shisui appeared before the Director wearing the now-ruined green bodysuit. Twitching and stuttering, he swore repeatedly to never set an unauthorized foot in archives again, if they'd just let him go.

At the end of the week, the Hokage himself intervened, citing the punishment as 'cruel, unusual, yet effective.'

Shisui never uttered 'youth' again, in any circumstance or context, to his dying day.


A/N: Please review. :) Next chapter slightly delayed as I will be on a business trip out of country.

Editor/Beta/Ghostwriter/Waffler Extraordinaire Note:

I hope you have enjoyed this chapter.

It inflated six pages from the original raw draft I was presented with, and ended up surpassing the due date :

- char custom