好きです。

I love you.

-Miyazono Kaori


Song~

Four years after the surgery

The night was quiet. The stars shone white in an endless see of black, their twinkle gentle, as if silent in respect. The world seemed peaceful tonight. It had been a boisterous affair, but now it seemed like even the insects in the air had left, leaving just the two of them in their small spot in the world. A deep-seated warmth had settled into his heart, and when she took his hand, he found that his heart grew more peaceful.

"So."

She broke the silence. Of course she did. Oh, how he loved her!

"…So," he said, somehow that one word carrying a powerful meaning tonight.

"We're married now," she said.

Despite the fact they'd never been apart for more than a couple hours at a time in four years, he felt a boyish giddiness overtake him, and his heart sped up, just that one bit.

"Yes," he said.

"I'm happy," his… his wife said, resting her head on his shoulder.

He felt his face heat up. Despite the fact that he'd known she loved him for four years, and that they'd promised to be together forever from the moment he read that letter, it had never felt so real as it did today. The fact that they really, really, were married, that they were tied together for all eternity under an ancient contract, that they officially belonged to each other now, that she was his, the gold band on her finger declaring to the world that she loved him, and that he was hers… It was powerful… Too powerful to fully wrap his head around, so instead he waited, slowly letting it sink in, and as it did it stole his breath away every second.

"I am too," he said softly, putting an arm around her and drawing her closer.

"I was so nervous…" she admitted with a soft laugh.

He smiled as well. "I was shaking. Watari had to practically push me out the door. I almost couldn't stand."

His wife – his wife, he kept reminding himself, feeling giddy as a boy with his first crush (which she had been for him, he reasoned) every time, his heart doing flips. His wife giggled. "Yes, I couldn't even talk these last few weeks."

"Couldn't look you in the eye," he agreed.

"I pissed Tsubaki off so much."

"Yep, I pissed Watari off as well. And Seto-san. And Nagi-chan. And father…"

"I have never been so scared about anything in my life before."

He laughed softly. "Same."

They spoke in hushed tones, the night – their first night has husband and wife – feeling somehow too sweet, too sacred, to defile.

"But it was fun."

He nodded. "It was. It totally was… Didn't expect Tsubaki to cry so much, though," he admitted after a pause.

Kaori laughed. "Sweet Tsubaki."

"She was crying more than your mom."

"Yep."

"Seto-san was crying too."

They sat just out of the doorway in the backyard, on a small step, in the silent, cool night, under the sky they would always share from now on.

"I did too," she admitted. "When I reached you, on the aisle. If the priest hadn't told you to kiss me, I'm sure everyone would have seen."

"I know. I saw you."

"Oh."

"Of course I saw you. You were all I could focus on tonight. It was like my heart was going to fall out. The urge to see you was… It was so strong, I… When I saw you finally walking down that aisle, I swear you looked like a golden goddess incarnate. I felt like crying too, to be honest… But Watari had already threatened me to hold my tears. Said I'd definitely get the urge to. Said I cry too much anyway."

She laughed softly.

"But it went perfectly. It was…" He smiled slightly, the memory sweet. "It was the best day of my life. Despite the fact there were so many people."

She nodded softly, looking down.

"You did so brilliantly," he said, drawing her closer, and kissed her temple. He knew how shy is wife was inside, despite the front she always put up. He could only imagine how nerve-wracking it must have been for her to appear before so many people with wedding nerves. "I'm so proud of you."

She blushed, and averted her gaze. "It was the best day of my life too," she said softly, nuzzling into him. "When I was walking down the aisle with dad and I saw you… It was the greatest moment of my life. We've faced the entire world together, and we will in the future as well, but in that moment… I – I had never been prouder of you in my life. I…" She turned to him, her voice slightly-higher pitched than usual, and her found her eyes wet with tears. "I love you, Kousei."

Suddenly, it became hard to draw breath, and he felt like there was a lump in his throat. He swallowed, and when he blinked he found his eyes burned. His vision blurred, and he found himself blinking away tears as well. "I love you too," he said, his voice hoarse.

"I was scared, Kousei," she said, and suddenly he knew she wasn't talking about the wedding anymore. "I was so scared… I'd done all I could, lived my life to the fullest, and I'd even told you I loved you, in that letter… But I… I didn't want to die. I didn't want to die… I'd done all I could, but I wanted – so much – to spend more time with you, to be with you all throughout your life…"

He clenched his jaw, and hot tears began to fall down his face, his breath becoming ragged. "Kaori…"

"I was scared… It scared me to think about what would happen… And sometimes I cried, when no one was looking… I didn't want to make anyone sad, so I hid it from everyone, but sometimes it would be too much… Sometimes I couldn't keep myself from crying…"

"I love you so much," he whispered. "Oh, I love you so much"

"That surgery was so scary… I was so scared…"

She looked up at him, her face wet with tears but somehow radiating with a beauty that was otherworldly, and in that moment he found himself thinking that if there was someone who could ever be called a goddess, it was this woman.

"But then you came…" she whispered. "You came, with your music, and somehow, almost beyond the threshold of death, I heard you… And I knew I couldn't stop… I knew I couldn't give up… I knew I had to keep fighting."

He cried, an ache cutting through his heart. Shutting his eyes tight against the tears, he embraced her, holding her so tight he was sure it was painful, but at this moment he could not bring himself to care. "I love you so much," he wept. "I have – I have no idea what I would do if I ever lost you… I can't live without you… If anything were to happen to you, I swear…" He took a breath through the tears. "I swear I'll follow you! There's nothing in this world if not you."

Her breath hitched, and her tears began anew. Closing her eyes she draw closer, and knowing what she wanted to do he dipped down, and slowly, among the salty taste of their tears, he kissed her, holding her close, secure. His first love, his confidante, his closest friend, his wife, his companion in everything he did.

The world was huge, but he did not care about unraveling its mysteries. Her sickness wasn't gone. It probably would not come back, but technically it could at any time. And maybe it would. Maybe one day it would come back and take her from him. Maybe one day, the world would lose its color again, and become a monochrome scene, one last time, never to have any warmth again. Maybe one day, she would die, and leave him alone and cold in the vast world. And if that ever happened, he would die with her. Maybe one day all of this would come to an end, but for now, in their own small place in the world, with just the two of them, he was content.


Whew. So that was that. The longest fic I've ever written. It was an incredible journey. Thanks to all the people who read, followed, favorited, and reviewed. It's your support that keeps me going, keeps making me want to create more of these recycled, wish-fulfillment packs of concentrated glucose. And of course, special thanks to my man Beethoven, whose music got me through the process of writing this story. It's always a blast writing for you guys, and I can't wait to see what the future has in store for us. Until then, yoroshiku~ And, as always:

読んでくれてありがとう!