A few years had passed since I tried to bump up Hinata's confidence so that she could be friends with Naruto.
Well, it worked.
Naruto and Hinata were always seen together.
One a blushing, bumbling, and 'ow'ing girl.
The other a happy red faced boy.
But, one thing happened that I hadn't expected.
Hinata Hyuga herself latched herself onto me.
No, not like that ya god damn pervert.
But, more like she was always wanting to hang out with me.
It always seemed to go like, "Hey, Umeko? W-would, ow, would you like to hang out after school?"
"No."
"Okay.'
Next day comes around.
She sits with me at recess.
I walk away.
She begins to follow but see's Naruto's yelling and waving self, walking towards her.
"Hey, Umeko? Do you want to go to get ramen with me and Naruto?"
"No."
"Please? It'll b-be a lot of fun!"
"No."
"Okay..."
Yeah, the girl was sure as hell persistent, I'll give her that. And she would everyday ask if I wanted to hang out.
So frankly, her and Sakura are probably the closest I have to friends.
But I neglect both of them.
Not really any reason, but hey, its my life. I can do whatever the fuck I want, so shut the hell up and eat your cake! *cough* *cough* MOM!
Now, for the real part of the story of where I tell in detail another event that happened in the sweet hell I call the Academy.
"It's simple, Umeko! All you have to do is make sure all the other flowers match your main flower." Suzume-sensei said.
"I don't care. Why the hell do we even have to take this class?! Are we going to beat people up with flowers and vases?" I asked.
"No, Umeko, you can hide all kinds of poisons inside the flowers so if someone sniffs them they may paralyze you or-"
I tuned her out not really caring what all she had to say.
I looked over at Sakura who was crying, as usual.
Ami and the other girls were surrounding her.
"Oh, you mother fuckers!" I said, immediately getting up preparing to stomp over there to her rescue.
But I was grabbed by Suzume-sensei by the wrist.
"Umeko Haruno, what did you just say?!" she growled at me.
"I said you mother fuckers! And if you'd let me go, I'd go beat some kids up, since you don't know how to do your job. Zero bullying tolerance my pale white ass." I said.
"YOU ARE GOING TO THE HOKAGE!" she yelled.
I glanced back at Sakura who was being saved by Ino.
'Noo... Now that this event happened, Sakura will change because of Ino. She will turn into some annoying bitch. And if she turns into an annoying bitch, I'll lose my most faithful follower!'
"LET ME GO YOU DIRTY, FOUR EYED, BITCHY, FUCKIN', WHORE SACK!" I yelled trying to rip my arm out of her grasp.
She began to drag me.
"THIS IS FUCKIN' CHILD ABUSE! I CAN AND WILL CALL MY LAWYER! I AM GOD, AND I WILL MAKE SURE YOU SUCK BIG FUCKIN' ELEPHANT DICKS IN HELL!" I yelled ignoring the stares I got from kids and shinobi we passed as I was literally dragged to the Hokage.
"So, Suzume, what did Umeko do this time?" the Hokage asked already used to me "acting up" in Kunoichi classes.
"She randomly began to yell cuss words and insulted me beyond belief." she said glaring at me.
"I wouldn't have done that if you would just do your job instead of fuckin' pick on me all the time." I said.
"Umeko, I know your a nice girl at heart, and you just act out for attention. But you must stop. I've been able to let you go with just a warning for the past few times for your shenanigans, but this time, your going to be severely punished." he said.
'Nice girl at heart? Act out for attention? How dare he make these petty assumptions? This low class being shouldn't even be allowed to be in the same room as me, much less be allowed to lecture me!' I thought as I slightly glared at the elderly man.
"You will be suspended from the Academy for two weeks, and until you graduate, you will be the assistant of a Jonin who requested to have an assistant. You will meet her at the Torture and Interrogation Building at 6:00 in the morning. If your even a minute late, you will be expelled from the Academy." he said.
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME, OLD MAN?! THAT'S SO STUPID!" I yelled.
"SILENCE! *Ahem* Now, apologize to Suzume." he said.
I looked at the curly headed woman.
"I'd rather die." I said quickly looking away from her.
"DO IT!" the Hokage yelled at me.
"I apologize oh so much, for disrespecting you. I really should have respected your whore tendencies, and your mother is not a cow." I said sickly sweet.
"UMEKO!" the Hokage yelled.
"I'm SORRY! NOW, AM I DONE?!" I yelled.
He waved me out of the room before muttering, "I'm getting too old for this."
'I'll get you for this, Suzume-sensei. Now, Sakura is going to turn into a bitch and I'll lose my main minion. Now who's gonna do all the paper work once I take over the world?! Wait, unless I make sure they don't get any closer than they are now. Yes, meddling and interfering, sounds fun. I can not afford to have a weak, fan girl as a sister. Yes, this will benefit me, and I will get some entertainment... Now, how am I going to get revenge on Suzume-sensei? I can use Naruto's love of pranks, and want of me as a friend for that. Oh, it feels good to have sources, and being superior to everyone sure helps out in the long run...'
Next chapter will be Umeko's first day as an assistant. So yeah...
minhthu12-Present: I understand. I like most of the characters. Most of them have likable personalities in my opinion. But hey, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, or however that quote went... XD
Umeko: God damn it, Hinata...
SugoiAuthorToBe: I LOVE IRYO-NIN KASA! *Ahem* Anyway. *covers Umeko's ears* The reason she thinks she's god is because in her mentality, since she's alive again. She must have defeated God himself to come back to life. So since she "defeated god", she believes she's the new god, and that gives her quite the inflated ego as you can most definitely see! XD And I don't know how I write mean things either. I just let all the pent up mean things inside me out in the form of Umeko Haruno. It seriously hurts to write some of the things she says when ever I read over what I wrote, because I literally lose myself while writing this story. And the moment you are waiting for should happen in the next few chapters, if things go the way I plan. Who knows...
Umeko: I don't know what Author Woman said, but I THINK I'M GOD, CAUSE I AM GOD! GOD IS NOT KIRA. GOD IS NOT HARUHI! GOD IS NOT ZERO! AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GOD IS NOT EDWARD FUCKIN' CULLEN! THERE IS NO NEED TO WONDER WHERE THE TRUE GOD IS! SHE'S RIGHT HERE! andshe'sfreshoutofmercy...
(Please don't be offended by Umeko *bows*)
easilyaddictedgirl: I totally love the idea of Umeko using a whip. She can be a more bad ass version of Lucy from Fairy Tail! Oh my god, I laughed like a psycho when I read your review at school. I'm like, "PssssssssssssssssssssssssshHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA"
"Reyna? Would you like to answer number five?"
"Uh, um... 24?"
"Gary, answer number five..."
"56r + 12!"
'Nobody likes you Gary...'
ANYWAY! I GOT SIDETRACKED!
Umeko: A whip... Isn't using one of those a hoes job? Like Suzume-sensei? But it sounds painful... Me likey! *cackles like a maniac*
ImDifferentYuki-Chan: Why thank you very much, Yuki-Chan! I really hope you don't mind me calling you that!
Umeko: Well, I don't have much of a comment. Whoa, that never happens! Holy shit, did I get a concussion again? MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
Himeno Kazehito: HELL YEAH I'VE READ IRYO-NIN KASA! THAT FIC IS AAAAAAAAAAAAWESOME! *cough* *cough* Kasa x Itachi FTW!
Umeko: Bitch please, Kasa x Shisui. Damn, you don't know WHAT your talkin' about.
I'm not done, Umeko! Anyway, Babymetal? Good taste in music my friend. And Mizuki Nana? As in Utau Hoshina! Yes! All the YES'S IN THE WORLD! HOLY CRAP, I LOVE HER! Sorry, I fangirl over Shugo Chara. *cough* *cough* Amu x Ikuto!
Umeko: *cough* *cough* Bitch please, Amu x Tadase.
That's it! We're havin' a long discussion, Umeko!
MOVING ON!
Gueststar: Momiji is the cutest. Though, Kyo is my all time favorite Fruits Basket Character. Actually, I went and got a hoodie made that has a cat on it and it says "Year of the Cat" XD That was my first anime, so it is very special to me. And screen high five for NaruHina!
Umeko: I accept you as one of my faithful followers. Tell me, will you risk your life and soul for an important person to me? His name is Doug. He is the sign of my religion! Because a plum blossom is for a sissy religion! But, anyway, YOU, GUESTSTAR, IS NOW RECRUITED INTO UMEKO-CAHN-CHAMA-SAMA-HIME-SAMA-SENPAI-SAN-CHAN-SAMA-SENPAI-SAMA'S RELIGION. Congratulations. You now win virtual money that can only be used to buy Boku no Pico merchandise. And you have your own portable, UMEKO PRIDE! It's like Saiyan Pride, but 20 times more awesomer and heavenly.
Umeko: Who is your favorite character in anime?
Boom.
The impossible question has been asked.
BONUS QUESTION: What do you think of the new cover?
