Author's Note: Sorry for the delay in posting this chapter. It needed some changes, and getting it right took me longer than I thought it would. I hope the chapter was worth waiting for.
As always, thank you to reviewers yoffi, The Imaginatrix, Gummybear Studios, and Jimli. Welcome to new follower TheAmaryllisBlossom and thanks for the review and for favoriting.
CHAPTER 7 – Jackie and Joe
I was impressed. Jackie had guts. The way my business was dealt with was exemplary. My job was not too difficult. Finding the mice in the warehouse could have been done by a kitten. I gave them the choice: to leave the shoemaker's place forever or have me, Thomas, previously cat to the miller of Black Mill, to deal with. Apparently they knew my reputation. A flood of mice ran away from the shoemaker's place. I heard his wife scream as they ran through her kitchen, out to safety.
Jackie had more difficulties. It was a big load of wood that needed chopping but it got done in less than a week and my fineries were made ready.
I looked quite the gentleman in my boots, cape and hat. While I was admiring myself from all sides Jackie didn't look too happy.
"What now? You've got the things you wanted. I haven't got any money anymore. Winter is coming and I have nowhere to go."
That was true. Mr Gashford would have taken Jackie in immediately. He would also have given Benjamin and Jeremy a severe telling off, but Mr Gashford had died two years before Jack, just days after his eighty-fourth birthday. Mary's brother – Jackie's uncle David – who now ran the Gashford mill had a large family. He might let Jackie stay for a short time, but he didn't really need an extra pair of hands in the mill.
It was time to get Jackie to the best place for making a fortune. I hadn't any fixed plans yet, but I was absolutely certain that an opportunity would arise in due time.
"Go to the capital," I told Jackie. "Find a job at the palace. They always need people for the kitchen. Put on a dress, cover your hair with a scarf or so and I'm sure they'll take you on. You'll look quite sweet in a dress."
"Put on a dress? I can count the times I've worn a dress on one hand, and still have fingers left. Why would I start wearing one now?"
"Jacqueline, miller's daughter, your mother was the finest looking woman I've ever seen. You could look a lot like her if you tried. You no longer have to compete with your brothers; you don't have to show that you're strong and can work hard. You've proven that more than once. It's time to start being yourself."
ooOOoo
Perhaps Thomas was right. Perhaps that's why I hadn't cut my hair in months. Perhaps at twenty I didn't want to be 'one of the boys' anymore. But I wasn't sure I wanted to be 'one of the girls' instead. I wasn't sure I wanted to disappear in another group; I wanted to be me, an individual. Fact was that I had no choice. I had no money and I needed a place that would keep me warm this winter. So again I took orders from a cat.
We were lucky to find a ride in the back of a merchant's cart. Thomas and I slept on some sacks among the goods, acting as guards, while the owner stayed in a comfortable inn, sleeping in an equally comfortable bed. In exchange for looking after his goods, he took us all the way to the capital city.
There I put on the only dress I had. It dated from a cousin's wedding five years earlier and luckily I hadn't grown since, upward or sideways. I covered my hair with a scarf – it was still too short not to cause disapproval – and presented myself at the palace kitchen. Thomas didn't want to come with me. He said that it didn't suit his plans to be seen at the palace. I still had no idea what his plans were and seriously doubted he had any.
It wasn't as easy to get a job as either Thomas or I had thought. I saw doubt in the housekeeper's eyes when she looked at me.
"Give me any task you want doing, however hard. If I can do it, you take me on. If not, I'll go," I suggested.
I was surprised at how tough and self-assured I had become since my brothers had thrown me out.
"Let's see how you deal with the dishes. We're a bit shorthanded and they haven't been done for two days. Go ahead, tackle those. When they're done, I'll give you something else to do. At the end of the day I'll know if you come up to our standards. If you do, you'll have a job."
I thanked the woman and started immediately. With all the work in the mill, doing dishes had been a Sunday job for me. Of course, two days at a palace produced more dishes than a week in a mill, but two days doesn't ingrain the muck as much as a week. Furthermore, warm water came out of a tap here. I didn't have to warm up fresh water all the time. Another advantage was the amount of dry towels. No need to dry any in between.
Once the dishes were washed and dried, I put everything in its place with the help of the other girls. To my relief they were very friendly and glad to help. Then I went to see the housekeeper and told her I'd done the job she'd given me. She examined everything carefully to see how well I had done my work. I couldn't say whether she was satisfied or not. Her stern expression never changed.
Next I had to fill in for the little scullery maid who had the day off to go to her sister's wedding. This time it was cook who checked on my progress and standard of work. Until late in the evening I was sent from chore to chore, but I didn't mind. It meant I could show them what I was capable of. The more I did the more certain I became that I would have work and a place to stay for the winter.
At the end of the day the housekeeper welcomed me to the ranks of the kitchen staff and showed me the room I would share with two of the other girls. They were nice girls but real chatterboxes. They talked endlessly about their young men and the clothes they would wear next time they were going out. I doubt they ever noticed how quiet I was. This was all new to me. I'd never had anyone to talk to about girly things. I rather enjoyed listening to them, even if I never contributed to the conversation.
I didn't really have a particular task in the kitchen, but just had to jump in where help was needed. This meant that apart from doing dishes, I cleaned the kitchen, I gutted the fish, I plucked the fowl, and I helped with cleaning and peeling vegetables. Eventually I was also asked to help with the preparation of the food.
When the great midwinter feast was planned the kitchen loaned me to the general household staff for a week to help them with the guest rooms. These needed a thorough cleaning and airing. While that was going on all the bedding was washed, dried and ironed.
Then it was time to start preparations in the kitchen. So much needed doing, not just for the feast but for the days leading up to it when the guests arrived. The amount of food needed increased day by day. Getting everything ready for the feast and keeping the guests happy until then was hard work, but nowhere near as hard as trying to keep up with my brothers at the mill had been.
The midwinter feast was a triumph for cook and for the housekeeper. The two women were invited to the dining room where they were toasted by the whole assembly who had nothing but praise for the food and the efficiency of the staff. When they returned to our dining room, cook's eyes were teary and the housekeeper was a little less stern. They thanked us, their staff, for a job well done.
The day after the feast from just after breakfast, as soon as the guests had all gone, most of the staff had the day off. As I didn't have any family I could go to, I had volunteered to do the dishes, sort out a lunch of cold meats and salads for the royal family and the courtiers, as well as warm up the leftovers for the evening meal.
I started on the dishes – a rather larger amount than usual – immediately after I'd had my breakfast. I was singing while drying the first batch when I heard somebody come into the kitchen. All the kitchen staff had gone home by then. That's why I wondered who the unexpected visitor could be.
"Hello? I can hear singing so I know there's someone here. Is it at all possible to get a coffee?" a male voice called out.
I came from behind the screen that divided the washing up area from the rest of the kitchen. In the middle of the kitchen stood a man I'd never seen before. The fact that he didn't wear a uniform gave me an idea what his function at the palace might be.
"I see administration didn't get the day off. Busy sending thank-you-notes to yesterday's guests?" I asked.
He looked me up and down.
"Something like that. Is it possible to get a coffee?"
I threw the kitchen towel at him.
"Straight away. Just dry some dishes meanwhile. But don't break any."
While I made the coffee I heard a lot of rattling but thankfully no sound of breakage. I poured two cups of coffee – I was ready for one too – and called him.
"Hey, what's-your-name, coffee is ready. Milk? Sugar? How many?"
He was there in a flash.
"No milk no sugar I didn't break anything my name is Joe just Joe."
"Don't forget to breathe." I laughed.
"I just wanted to give you all the necessary information." He laughed as well. "What shall I call you?"
"I'm Jackie."
I didn't give him my full name. Why should I? Nobody had ever used it except Thomas, once.
When we'd finished the coffee, he got up to go.
"Thanks for the coffee."
At the kitchen door he turned around.
"By the way, have you got any time off, like the rest of the staff."
"Today after lunch, every fourth Sunday and every Monday morning."
"Can I pick you up here, after lunch then?"
"Why?"
"To go for a walk in the garden, chat a bit, no more than that."
"Come straight after lunch and you can help me with the dishes. You're a good dryer of dishes."
He laughed again, a lovely deep, rumbling laugh.
"I'll bear that in mind if I need a new job. Till after lunch then," he promised and then he left.
For the first time in my life I felt like a girl. No, a woman.
'Calm down, calm down, Jackie. You don't know him' I kept thinking. I would keep my feelings in check. Be a friend and nothing more. I knew I could do it. I only had to think of my brothers to know men could be treacherous. Then again, not all men were like that. I had to find the balance between being too naive and too distrusting.
I hadn't even finished washing the glasses from lunchtime when he arrived. Without a word he picked up a towel and started drying. I began to sing and he joined in. It's amazing how quickly dishes get done when you're not alone.
Afterwards we went for a walk in the royal park. It was cold and crisp but sunny, a lovely winter's day for a walk. The park was quite large. It had lakes joined by a little stream with bridges across it. There was an avenue of linden trees for cool walks in summer. Now the leafless trees looked black against the blue sky. The rock garden up on a slope at the back of the palace had a natural source that fed a small waterfall.
Joe pointed all this out to me. For someone who worked in administration, he knew a lot about the garden. I mentioned this to him.
"Gardening is my hobby," he said. "And I have permission to help in the park. It's all a bit bare now. I'll have to show you the place when the flowers are blooming."
"I'd love that."
What I loved even more was that Joe clearly planned to see me again. Unfortunately, this walk had come to an end. I had to go back to take care of dinner.
When I told him he asked, "Alone?"
"Warming up a few dishes is not that bad," I answered.
He came into the kitchen with me and even helped me set up the warm buffet in the dining room.
After that he said, "I have to go now," and away he went.
I thought this strangely sudden and didn't expect to see him again, but the following Monday when I left the kitchen after breakfast he was waiting for me. I was walking down the drive to the front gate when he came from behind a tree in the park.
"I believe we have a date," he said.
I smiled. "I believe we do," I answered.
As soon as we were out of the gate, Joe turned right into an overgrown path that skirted the castle gardens. After a while, when we were out of sight of the road, the path suddenly changed. It was well-maintained and ideal for a walk. Still further we came to a door in the wall of the castle park where the path split in two. To the right it kept following the wall, the left fork went into the wood, and that's the way we went.
It was quite gloomy among the trees that early in the morning with a cloudy sky.
"I think we'll get snow today," Joe said. "The first this winter. Do you like snow, Jackie?"
"I do. I like to hear it crunch under my feet as I walk. And it seems to muffle sounds, makes me feel as if I'm out of the world, away from trouble."
"That sounds very romantic."
"I suppose it does, but I'm well aware of its downside, you know. I may be a romantic but that doesn't mean I walk around with my eyes closed."
The words had barely left my mouth when I tripped over a tree root and fell, luckily without hurting myself. Joe helped me to get up.
"Are you all right?" he asked.
When he was convinced I had no injury whatever, not even a minor bruise, he gave me a big smile and said, "Good thing you weren't walking around with your eyes closed."
We both laughed like idiots.
That first walk through the wood with Joe was just wonderful, especially because there was no awkwardness between us. What we had was a comfortable companionship.
We'd been walking a fairly long time when I asked Joe, "Don't we have to turn back? I'm expected at midday."
"We'll be back in time. The path makes a loop through the forest. We're not too far from the palace wall."
Not long after I saw the wall through the trees. It was still a fair while to go before we joined the path next to the wall. Shortly after we arrived at the door in the palace wall.
"You'll find your way to the main gate from here, won't you?" Joe asked.
I nodded, somewhat confused.
"I'm going through this door, across the park," he explained.
"You don't want to be seen with me. Are you ashamed because I'm a kitchen maid?"
"Of course not, Jackie. I just want to take this slowly, and surely you know we would be teased continually if anybody knew we were going out together, even if we're just friends."
He was right of course. Even in the few months I'd been working at the palace I had noticed this. And even if it wasn't done in malice, it could become a bit much. A young colleague and the footman who was her boyfriend had been the butt of so many jokes that they had nearly stopped seeing each other. Surprisingly it had been the stern housekeeper who had put a stop to the pestering.
"I don't mind a bit of banter," she had said. "But I won't have bullying. This stops now! Is that understood?"
After that the teasing had ended, and the young couple would no doubt get married before long.
So, when Joe then asked me, "Will you meet me here next Monday?" I of course agreed.
After that we spent every Monday morning together and on my Sundays off we went for long walks even if the weather wasn't always fantastic. We met in a different place every time, and went to out-of-the-way spots where we wouldn't meet people who knew us.
Joe and I became good friends. When spring arrived and flowers started to appear again, he pointed them out to me and called them by name. I didn't know any.
"Strange," he said the first time this happened. "Normally girls know a lot about flowers. More than men, generally."
"I don't. I didn't really have a … conventional upbringing for a girl."
He looked at me quizzically, but I didn't offer any explanation. I didn't want to talk about my brothers' treatment of me, their only sister.
Family was the only thing Joe and I never talked about. No subject was taboo, except that. It was like an unspoken agreement between us. After all, our families had nothing to do with our friendship.
As summer approached friendship wasn't enough anymore. I started to wish for a closer relationship. My feelings for Joe had changed. I couldn't imagine anyone I'd rather be with. Whether Joe felt the same or not, I couldn't say. When he smiled at me, my heart would soar sky-high, sure that he loved me too. There were times when I thought he would take me in his arms; times that it seemed as if he wanted to tell me something. He'd look at me with sadness and longing in his eyes, then he'd turn away and it would be as if that moment had never happened. I didn't know what to think, what to do.
Then, on my first free Sunday of summer, he took me to all our favourite places. In the evening we were back in the wood behind the palace near the door in the wall. When he said goodbye to me I heard something in his voice that wasn't right.
"What's the matter, Joe? What's wrong? Don't deny it, I know something is wrong."
"I … the prince has to go abroad … to meet a prospective bride. I … I have to go too."
"I'll still be here when you come back. You're not gone forever."
"No."
It was no more than a whisper. Then he took my hands in his, pulled me closer, and gently kissed me on the lips.
"Goodbye, my love," he said. Then he opened the door to the palace garden and was gone.
I stood there, frozen to the spot, a million feelings churning inside of me. All of a sudden I knew. The thought pierced me like a knife. This is not 'goodbye see you next time'; this is 'farewell for ever'.
I ran after him into the garden and cried out his name, "Joe!"
He was gone and I was alone. More alone than ever because I didn't even have my cat anymore. I hadn't seen Thomas since I'd arrived at the palace.
ooOOoo
I promised there would be twists in this story.
