Kahlan swayed in her saddle, her head throbbing and her stomach turning. Despite Richard's urgent attitude, Kahlan had managed to convince him that she needed to bring a pack along. He finally relented, reluctantly. Although she knew it was a terrible and dangerous idea, she had strapped the Sword of Truth onto her back. Richard noticed, eyeing it warily but paying no mind. Kahlan had hoped that she would see Zedd along the halls as she frantically shoved belongings into her bag, but she didn't. Richard had acquired two horses, rationalizing that although Denna had said not to use one on the way to Aydindril, that the journey back was a different story. After all, Kahlan had already agreed to come, Richard was sure no harm would come of having a little comfort on their no doubt long and uncomfortable travel.
The two hadn't spoken since the time in Aydindril. Although it had only been two days, Kahlan yearned for the voice of Richard. She missed talking with him, hearing his bellowing laughter. However, she hadn't built up enough courage to talk with him, and he didn't seem to mind the lack of communication. It made her heart break all the more.
Richard wasn't lying about the D'Haran army. After a day's ride, Kahlan saw the large collection of soldiers and her heart had stopped. She saw Richard give who she assumed was the general a nod, and she prayed to the spirits that it was signaling for them to leave Aydindril be. She would glance over her shoulder periodically to see them packing up their belongings, hopefully going back to D'Hara - or wherever she was being led.
And now Kahlan was riding on a big white mare, following Richard through unmarked paths. She observed him as he rode, taking note of how he moved so naturally with the horse and how the sweat clung to his back, soaking through his shirt. The man was familiar yet foreign at the same time. She saw no glimpse of hope in his eyes as she had in the beginning, as she had seen in the woods. Richard was long gone. Kahlan had to stifle back a sob when she thought of all she had lost, what she never really had.
Richard lifted his hand to shield his eyes as he looked up at the sky. It would be dark soon, and a painfully awkward night would occur once again. The sight of Kahlan disgusted him, the thought of talking with her making him desperately want to impale himself on his sword - which was now strapped to her back. He had tried to come up with plans to retrieve his sword, but every time he made an attempt she would stir in her sleep or mumble some inaudible sounds, causing Richard to lose his nerve. It didn't matter, Denna would soon return to him what was so rightfully his.
Kahlan was slowing down Richard's pace, only irritating him more. He had traveled at break neck speed, on foot, in order to get to her quickly, and now he was forced to travel more slowly to accommodate her. What he had seen in Kahlan so long before, he had no idea. She was a burden, a hindrance. Richard huffed as he slowed his horse down more, adjusting to her pace. It didn't seem to matter, they would soon need to stop for the night anyways.
Richard scanned the area, searching for an area large enough that they could rest for the night. He had taken to occupying the side of camp furthest away from her, turning his back to Kahlan so he wouldn't have to look at her face. She was the reason he had displeased his mistress, what made Denna so furious at him.
They rode for another hour before Richard found a place suitable for camp. It was dusk, the sun hovering low in the sky. Kahlan sighed as she breathed in the fresh scent of the woods. When she had first met Richard, he had taught her the wonders of the forest, how it could be beautiful and majestic. She now viewed it as a prison of her own doing. She watched as he quickly set up camp, no doubt glad to turn away from her once again. Even though Kahlan knew it wasn't truly Richard, it pained her each time he moved to the other side of camp, finding more enjoyment in looking out into the trees than gazing upon her. There once was a time when he would stay awake and watch her sleep. Kahlan could feel his eyes on her, even while she was dreaming.
Richard tossed her a bedroll and adjusted himself on his own, glaring at her as he pulled dried meat out of his pack and throwing it in her direction. Kahlan flinched as the food was thrown at her, but she caught it before it hit the ground. She swallowed past her sadness before she began lightly chewing on the meat. She took solace in knowing that at least he had an interest in her being alive, even if it was to kill her later.
Kahlan watched as he began his ritual of turning away from her. Her heart started to hammer, dreading it as if it were death itself. In a way, it was.
"It doesn't have to be this way," she croaked, her voice sounding more pleading than she would have wished. Kahlan saw him freeze in his movements and her heart jumped into her throat. She worried her bottom lip between her teeth as she anticipated his next movement. Instead of turning to her and acknowledging her, he continued to lay down, never giving her a response.
Kahlan didn't try to hide her sob.
xx
Kahlan began resenting herself. She was slowly starting to hate Richard, her mind corrupting all the pleasant memories she had of him. His uncaring demeanor and curt attitude towards her made her want to scream, to plunge her dagger into his chest. It wouldn't matter much anyways, he wasn't the Richard she knew and loved. He'd be subject to Denna for as long as he lived, which, for his sake, she hoped wasn't long. Perhaps if she wasn't so cowardly she'd end his life herself. For these thoughts, she began hating herself.
It had been three days since her attempt at talking with him, the mood between the two more uncomfortable than it had ever been. Instead of becoming upset like she usually had done, Kahlan became bitter and malicious. Richard seemed to respond more to her negative behavior, which only made her heart sink more. Granted, the reactions weren't large. He would scoff at her insults or cast her a glance. The most she ever received from him was 'whatever you say, Mother Confessor.' The simple line made her blood boil, and only caused her to spew more insults.
Kahlan hated that she was insulting him, but her tongue wouldn't hold still. She hated him, what he became. Richard obviously hated her, attempting to be civil with him was a lost cause. If the only communication she could get from him was from being horrid to him, then so be it. She knew they were only a few days away from reaching their destination.
She glared as she watched Richard setting up camp once again. Kahlan now refused the meat he'd throw her way, letting the food fall to the ground. As far as she was concerned, she was heading to her death anyways - might as well speed up the process. She would see Richard fume when she wouldn't eat, which made her heart lift slightly. Regardless if it was for different reasons, he still cared. Maybe that's why she had become fond of wasting the food that was given to her.
Richard was slightly shocked by her new behavior, yet intrigued at the same time. He had never seen Kahlan act so viciously, never heard such vile language come out of her mouth. It excited him. He now watched her more carefully. He kept an eye on her while he lowered himself onto his bedroll, offering food another time before she pursed her lips and shook her head at him.
The woman was infuriating.
"Mother Confessor, this is ridiculous. You need to eat." Richard snapped, unaware of how angry he was becoming at the matter. Kahlan's face didn't waver, instead, she turned on her back and faced away from him for the first time since they began traveling. The motion made Richard want to kill her.
Kahlan smirked to herself as she heard him breathing heavily behind her. This was the most interaction she had gotten the past five days. If she had to, she would drive him into killing her himself. She would find much more comfort dying in his hands than whoever he was delivering her to.
However, Kahlan didn't expect the next action.
She bit her tongue as she felt his hands grab her shoulders, dragging her upright to look him in the eye. His fingers bit into her flesh as she put on her Confessor's face.
"Eat."
"No."
Richard felt as though his head was going to explode. He knew her refusing a few meals wouldn't necessarily matter, but it still made him unbelievably mad. He felt insane. Richard knew that Denna would not be pleased if she found out that the Mother Confessor hadn't eaten. Lord Rahl wanted Kahlan at complete health so that he could experiment on her. Richard had to get Kahlan to eat.
He dropped his hands from her shoulders, resting them on the ground beside her as he moved his face closer to hers.
"What is it going to take to get you to eat?" Richard hissed through gritted teeth. He felt he was going to lose his mind when she smiled at him and rose an eyebrow in his direction.
"Bartering with the victims now, Richard? Quite low, don't you think?" Kahlan knew if she taunted him enough, he would relent and kill her. She just had to bait him into it. From the looks of the situation, it wouldn't take much for Kahlan to push him right over the edge.
"Mother Confessor, eat." Richard didn't wish to play games with her.
"Seeker, no."
Kahlan didn't even blink when Richard snatched his sword off the ground and unsheathed it, holding it to her neck. The rage flowing through him was tremendous, and he felt as though it would only take her breathing incorrectly to cause him to break and slice open her flesh. She didn't waver, looking at him intently with blue eyes.
"Eat."
"What are you going to do, Seeker?" She taunted, arching her neck to allow him greater access. "Kill me?" She moved her head closer to his, the blade slightly grazing her flesh and bringing red droplets to the surface. "I welcome it."
Richard gritted his teeth as his nostrils flared. He wanted nothing more than to decapitate her. He glanced from her eyes to her neck, watching as the small amount of red liquid began running down her neck. Richard cursed as he stood up, throwing the sword to the ground and returning to his side of camp.
He wanted to kill her with every fiber of his being. Richard had just tried, unsuccessfully. He wanted to believe it was because of his orders from Denna and Lord Rahl, but he wasn't stupid.
Deep down, in the depths of his soul, untouched by Denna, was the love he had always felt for Kahlan.
