Author's Note: What I originally wished to cover with this theme in this chapter ended up being too long, so I decided to separate the story into two. So, we begin with Part One below which focuses on Lucas, with a side of Naley. Part two will focus on Brooke. Enjoy!


"We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men; and among those fibers, as sympathetic threads, our actions run as causes, and they come back to us as effects."
~Herman Melville, 19
th century American author

It's a common mistake to bury our connections deep in the dark. Sometimes briefly. Sometimes for good. Instead, we hold on to the belief that detachment protects us from hurt. Prepares us to endure life's trials and challenges. We pretend that solitude brings a kind of hierarchy, a clear structure, a sequence to our lives. It doesn't. The simple truth is that we are all interconnected. Unified. Interlocked. The links that bind us all are inescapable. Infinite. Even quantum science suggests the existence of an omnipresent invisible field of electric and magnetic energy uniting us to one another. There is no happiness for oneself alone, no suffering that afflicts only others. Our thoughts and actions have their effects on more than just us. Even if we fail to see or feel it at the time. Yes, we are free to choose our actions. But, we cannot govern the reach of their consequences. The mechanics of cause and effect is more subtle, yet more complex, than we presume. There's a painful math to solitary. The more we are secluded, the weaker we get. If we wait too long, we may never get the chance to regain our strength. Yet, we keep struggling with what's in our nature. What's basic and primal. Being here and now. Finally deciding to stay instead of running. To say what we should have said a long time ago. To let someone in on whom we really are. To go after what we have always wanted. That elusive shift from separation to oneness. From a lonely I to a stronger We.

There was a time when Tree Hill was a perfect example of oneness overcoming separation. Families, friends, lovers...a thousand fibers connecting them with each other. Lucas remembers the stronger We. No matter how hard he has tried over the years to pretend solitude gives him much needed comfort. Haley remembers it, too. She knows very well the difference between the days and nights spent alone now and the power of togetherness she once took for granted. But, remembrance of what used to be brings nothing but anguish. So, they keep holding onto the solitude. Knowing full well that the mistake weakens them and binds them to the lonely I. Despite the persistent attempts of those trying to convince them otherwise. For Haley, Nathan is one such person. The morning after his promise to always come back, he knocks on Haley's door with two cups of caffé mocha, her favorite.

Nathan: "Haley? You there?"

Surprised by his arrival, she takes a break from cooking breakfast and opens the door.

Haley: "What are you doing here?"

N: "Good morning, Nathan. It's really great to see you. Oh my, how thoughtful of you to bring me that mocha."

Opening the door wider and standing aside so he can come in, Haley smiles and rolls her eyes at a terrible impersonation of her. She holds up one arm and asks for the coffee to be handed over before she lets him over the threshold.

H: "Very thoughtful, indeed. Thank you."

She takes a sip of her mocha and closes the door. When she turns around, she finds Nathan holding a single red rose.

N: "I heard it's best not to come empty handed. And, someone smart once told me roses and chocolates used to be enough."

All of a sudden, Haley can smell the chocolate in her coffee, and she knows she fell for one of the oldest tricks in the book. As she hesitantly takes the rose, she walks around him and towards the kitchen.

H: "The operative word begin used to. But, thank you."

Nathan knows winning her back is not as easy as showing up with some beverage and a flower. But, if doing so brings even a temporary smile to her face, it's enough for now. Every little step is progress for someone as desperate as he is to reconnect. Giving up is not an option.

N: "Is that blueberry pancakes I smell?"

H: "You got me. I was hoping to bribe Brooke with pancakes to make her stay. But, she hasn't come down yet."

N: "Does that mean I can have her share?"

A part of her wants to say no. The part that knows staying for breakfast is never as simple as it sounds when it comes to Nathan and her. She sees his rose by the pancake batter, and it reminds her that it doesn't take too much for them to fall back into old habits. Then, she thinks she's being silly for finding something like sharing food so threatening. So, as she hands over a plate of pancakes, she allows him to stay in exchange for information.

H: "Ok. But, you have to first tell me why you're here."

N: "Would you believe me if I said I missed your cooking?"

H: "You're not that good of a liar."

N: "Luke didn't come home last night. I thought maybe he stayed here."

Haley looks around the kitchen and towards her living room to see if she can spot something of Luke's she may have missed when she got home the previous night. She notices that not only there's nothing of Luke's, but also that Brooke's purse she brought home from Tric is missing.

H: "No, I don't think so. He went back to Charlotte, didn't he? God, I can kill him."

N: "You think he left? No. He wouldn't do that. Not now."

H: "If he was still the Lucas we knew, our Lucas, I'd agree with you. But, this one...he runs, Nathan. Whenever something, someone, threatens to pull him out of this senseless isolation, he runs. The first chance he gets. We don't know this Lucas."

N: "I'm not sure, Haley. I saw something different in him yesterday. He stayed when he found out about Brandon. He took care of Brooke at the bar. I don't know where he is, but he's still in Tree Hill. I'll bet you $10, if we find Brooke, we'll find Lucas."

H: "You're on."

Haley quickly walks out of the kitchen and when she reaches the bottom of the staircase, she looks back for a second.

H: "Well, are you coming?"

Torn between following her and the delicious pancakes in front of him, Nathan frowns.

N: "Can I just eat first?"

Seeing that Haley's already out of sight, Nathan takes one last bite and gets up to follow her.

N: "Guess not. Damn it, Luke."

When her knocks on the door of the guest room go unanswered, Haley opens the door quietly but with curiosity. What she sees is a room in disarray: the spread and pillows thrown off the bed, a broken lamp by the window, shattered glass from a picture frame by the nightstand. She can see a pair of man's shoes and clothing scattered across the floor. She kneels down to pick up from among a bunch of green buttons, what she thinks is the black belt Brooke had been wearing the day before. As she takes a few steps closer to the bed, Nathan enters the room calling for her.

N: "Haley?"

H: "Shhh..."

Nathan comes closer only to see a naked Lucas fast asleep, alone, in what is supposedly Brooke's bed, and Haley with an open mouth and wide eyes. Turning around to face Nathan, Haley holds up a hand with her thumb pointed behind her.

H: "Well, we found yours."

Then she holds up the belt she found on the floor, and her face gets angrier.

H: "Now, where's mine?"

As she walks out the room, her disapproval is very clear.

H: "Can you please tell him to put some pants on before coming down? I really don't want him naked when I kill him."

Nathan looks after her wondering if he should follow and try to calm her down. But, deciding he needs answers himself, he walks over to the bed to wake Lucas up first. Pulling the sheet over his naked brother sleeping face down, he shakes him by the shoulder.

N: "Luke, wake up. Hey man, come on. Wake up!"

Lucas Scott hasn't slept for more than a few hours a night for sixteen years, six months and thirteen days. It's not because he hasn't found a comfortable bed or because his mind is too busy with ideas keeping him awake. He doesn't have an illness that can easily be cured by modern medicine. There's no prescription for his insomnia. He knows, because he's tried them all. For the past six thousand and thirty-six nights, the same nightmare wakes him up. He's back in his old room in his mother's house in Tree Hill. Sometimes he's seventeen years old, sometimes he's seventy. But, it's the same girl he loves he's fighting with. Her tears are the same, the disappointment in her face as real as if it happens all over again every night. Sometimes she walks out the door and when he runs after her, she's either too fast, his legs are chained to the door, or someone invisible holds him back. Sometimes she just vaporizes into thin air right before his eyes and when he reaches for her, all he feels is cold air. He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. The silence suffocates him. The walls start collapsing. One by one, every piece of furniture in his room start floating and encircling him at such speed that he becomes the center of a tornado of his own making. No escape. His heart pounds against his ribcage with such force that he can't contain it within his chest. That's how it always ends. The tornado passes taking his heart away with it, and he lies lifeless on the floor of a smashed room.

For the first time in one hundred and forty-four thousand, eight hundred and sixty-four hours, Lucas Scott did not wake up once for an entire night. Not one nightmare. Uninterrupted, peaceful sleep for twelve hours straight. As he wakes up to his brother's voice now, he's reminded that sometimes the impossible is possible. That all we need might just be the one connection, the single fiber among the thousands, the specific shift...at the right time...at the right place...with the right person.

Before he can pay attention to Nathan, he wants to make sure Brooke is ok. Turning to his right, he finds her side of the bed empty. She's gone. He's alone. A part of him thinks he should have expected this. He's all too familiar with the flight reflex. It's the best weapon those choosing to live in solitude have ever owned.

Lucas: "Nathan, where's Brooke?"

Nathan laughs at the fact that his brother seems as clueless as the rest of them.

N: "I was hoping you could tell me. What the hell happened last night?"

Slowly sitting up, Lucas realizes he's naked under the sheets.

L: "Can we just talk about this later? A little privacy, so I can get dressed?"

Nathan leaves the room and shuts the door behind him, but not before warning his brother against what awaits him downstairs.

N: "Better put on something bulletproof. Haley's probably loading the gun right about now."

Now alone in the room, Lucas's eyes turn to the empty right side of the bed and his fingers reach out tracing an invisible line where Brooke used to lie. He closes his eyes and flashes of the previous night flood in. Brooke yelling at him...I've never hated anyone more...pinning her against the wall to stop her from attacking him...close enough to smell the jasmine in her hair, to see the fire in her eyes, to feel her heart beating so fast that her chest rises and falls against his. He shakes the memories out of his head, opens his eyes, and gets out of bed. As he walks to the bathroom, his fingers go for his bottom lip where he feels a sharp pain. The bathroom mirror shows him that the pain is from a fresh cut covered by some dry blood. When he turns to reach for a towel, his reflection reveals a few fingernail marks on his back. Go to hell. His hands find the counter and he holds on tight letting his head drop. There's only one thing to do, take a shower. But, you can't wash away the memories. The taste of her lips kissing him back biting his bottom lip...the sound of her gasp while her head falls back giving him access to her neck...the sight of his fingers against her shoulders pushing her bra strap down...the feel of her burning skin against his cold hands pulling her down onto the bed. No, the memories don't care how hot the water is or how long you stand under it.

When he finally comes down the stairs, he can hear Nathan and Haley playfully arguing about a bet.

Nathan: "What? You're really not going to pay up?"

Haley: "Well, was she there? No. So I win."

N: "Oh, you've got to be kidding me. You're claiming victory due to some technicality?"

H: "The bet was, we find Brooke, we find Lucas. We didn't find Brooke. Pay up."

N: "Did we or did we not find him in her room? In her bed? Naked, might I add, but that's beside the point. Actually it is the point. It tells me that if we had checked in on them a few hours ago, we would have found Brooke in there with him. Therefore, I win. I accept cash."

H: "You're not getting a dime."

N: "Well, I'm open to other forms of payment."

Lucas: "I'm so glad my life is a source of entertainment for you both. A bet? Really?"

At first sight of Lucas, Haley picks up a wooden spoon off the kitchen counter and throws it at him.

H: "You stupid, stupid little boy. You couldn't control your hormones for one night?"

Lucas ducks out of reflex, but the spoon never makes it far enough to reach him anyway.

L: "Hales, I really don't want to talk to you about this."

Getting annoyed that Lucas is about to walk out like nothing ever happened, Haley can't contain her anger.

H: "Oh did you hear that Nathan? He doesn't want to talk to us about it. Yeah, that's too bad, Luke. Do you know the last time Brooke was in Tree Hill? Actually, you do. You were there. It's been almost seventeen years. She came home, Luke. I had my friend back. And you, you had Brooke back. Your son back. And you go and do...whatever you did last night, and now she's gone. Again. I hope it was worth it."

Unable to control his reaction, Lucas responds to the yelling with some of his own.

L: "I didn't make her leave any more than I made her stay last night. No one can make Brooke do something she doesn't want to do. You know that. Do you think I wanted her gone? Do you think I wanted to wake up alone? God, Haley, do you want to blame me for the sun coming up this morning too?"

Nathan just sits at the kitchen counter watching the two best friends, maybe ex-best friends, like he's at a tennis match. He knows this won't last long. They get mad, raise their voices, throw things, say things they don't even mean...then, take a deep breath, sigh, calm down, and sit down to share a plate of pancakes. As if they weren't almost at each other's throats a minute ago.

L: "Not bad. Might need some more blueberries."

H: "Shut up and eat."

For the next few minutes, that's exactly what they do...sit at the kitchen table and eat breakfast, quietly.

H: "Have you called her?"

L: "I don't even have her number."

Nathan can't help but laugh at that revelation.

N: "Oh, did the big brother get played? Use him and leave him."

Haley hits Nathan's arm with the back of her hand and he pulls back in pain.

H: "Nathan! It's not funny."

N: "Ouch! It's a little funny. I mean they don't see each other for almost two decades and this is what happens?"

H: "Ignore him, Luke. I usually do. Seriously, call her. I'll give you her number."

L: "Haley, I don't think she wants to hear from me."

H: "Trust me. She does. And if she doesn't, she can always not pick up."

They return to the pancakes for a few more minutes of silence which is too much for Nathan whose curiosity gets the better of him.

N: "What are you going to do about Brandon?"

L: "I don't know. I think I need to follow Brooke's lead on this one."

H: "What about the emancipation?"

L: "You know about that?"

H: "Yes. He showed Karen the papers when he showed up."

N: "Brandon wants to be emancipated?"

L: "Yes. Brooke and I...we signed the papers yesterday."

Haley puts her fork down and just stares at him in disbelief.

H: "Why would you do that?"

L: "Haley, you weren't there. It didn't feel like we had any choice. There's so much hurt and anger in him. Signing those papers seemed to be the only thing to alleviate some of that pain."

H: "I think that was a mistake, Luke. What we read in that newspaper yesterday...this kid had a tough life. He needs you. Both of you. And, you need him, too. Letting him go is a big mistake. And, I know for a fact it's not what Brooke wants."

Haley regrets her last comment as soon as she realizes she said it.

L: "She told you that?"

H: "I shouldn't have said that. I don't want to get in the middle of you two. Just talk to her. That is if you can keep your hands to yourself for two seconds."

Nathan and Lucas look at each other, and before they all go back to eating, Nathan takes one last shot.

N: "Yeah, you're never living that one down."

H: "Are you going to the hearing?"

L: "What do you mean?"

H: "The emancipation hearing. Are you going?"

N: "The court must have sent you a summons. When I filed, Dan and mom both got served. The court notifies the parents in case they want to show up for the hearing. If Brandon got you to sign his petition, it means the court knows about you."

L: "Wait, are you saying that if I want to find him, all I have to do is go through my mail?"

N: "Yeah. He's turning 16 soon, right? If he's anything like I was, his court date must be very soon."

Leaning back in his chair, Lucas starts to think that maybe fate is offering him an opportunity to leave the lonely I behind. Maybe it's instinct that kicks in or the push of a second chance, but he gets up quickly and starts walking towards the door.

H: "Where are you going?"

L: "There's something I have to do."

H: "Wait."

Haley grabs a piece of paper, scribbles something, and hands it over to Lucas. When he looks down, he sees that it's Brooke's cell phone number.

L: "Thanks."

He turns to leave again, but halfway out the door he turns around.

L: "Be kind to each other, will you? What you have...it's rare. And, it's still there. I see it. You see it too. Life isn't half as much fun if you have to live it alone. I should know. For one thing, you couldn't bet on other people's sex lives all by yourself."

Nathan and Haley watch Lucas leave and look at each other for an awkward moment. It doesn't last very long. Haley smiles and walks over to the kitchen cabinet. She takes out a tall glass and fills it halfway with water. Putting the rose in the glass, she grabs her purse as she walks back to the table and sits next to Nathan. She places the glass with the rose on the table and takes out her wallet from her purse. Pulling out a ten dollar bill, she slides it over to Nathan.

H: "Double or nothing?"

N: "Really? Whose sex life are we betting on this time?"

Knowing full well the implication, Haley blushes and looks away.

H: "No sex, a little tamer this time."

N: "You're no fun."

H: "I bet you $20 that the next time we see Lucas, Brandon's with him."

N: "I wouldn't take that bet if my life depended on it."

H: "Keep your money then. Invest it well, because next time, I'm coming for all you're worth."

Nathan smiles at her next time comment. Any sign of Haley coming out of her shell and warming up to him is pleasant news. Even if he has to lose all his worth to make it happen. While Nathan and Haley finish their breakfast together, Lucas picks up a bouquet of flowers and ends up at the cemetery. Placing the white lilies on top of the tombstone, he sits down on the grass next to the grave.

Lucas: "Hi, Keith. You didn't think I'd leave without seeing you, did you? I owe you an apology. More than one, really. I'm sorry it's been too long since I came to see you. I keep disappointing you. I don't mean to. I know I should be there more for Lily, help her, tell her all about you. And, I try. But, it's not enough. It's never enough. I saw mom yesterday. We fought again, but that's not news. It's all we've done since...you know when. She misses you so much. I miss you, too. Sometimes I think how different everything would be if only you were here. It's not fair, you know? The loss...there's too much of it, all around us. Deep inside me. It never really goes away. But sometimes, there's hope. Keith, I came to tell you something. Remember what I told you all those years ago about what I did? What I couldn't stop? Or take back? Remember the nightmares? I was wrong, Keith. All this time. It seems some losses are not really as they seem. I have a son. But, you probably already knew that, right? I just met him. I have a 16 year-old son named Brandon and I only just met him yesterday. He's angry. Sad. So much attitude that it's infuriating. Smokes like a chimney. But, he's smart, sure of himself. He reads. The truth is that I have a son and I don't really know him at all. All I know is that he's in trouble, Keith. And, I'm not sure how I can help him. If you were here, you'd know exactly what to do, and everything would be ok. So, tell me. What should I do, Keith?"

Lucas is startled by a hand on his shoulder and when he looks up he sees his mother.

Karen: "Do you mind if I join you?"

Lucas shakes his head and motions with his hand for Karen to sit by him.

L: "How long have you been standing there?"

K: "Long enough. It's not just you, you know? I come here to talk to him, to ask him for advice. My brain knows he's not going to talk back or tell me what to do, but somehow when I leave, I feel lighter. Like he just told me the answer to all my questions. Every single time. But, Lucas...your question...you don't need Keith to tell you what you should do. You already know the answer to that one."

L: "It'll be the hardest thing I've ever had to do. What if he won't let me? What if I can't do it?"

K: "I know you can. Lily and I...we'll help you. Besides, you think you were easy? Lily? God, no. Nothing worth anything has ever come easy. Bring him home, Lucas. It's time."

Karen puts her arm around her son's shoulders and Lucas places his head on her mom's shoulder. They sit there both staring at Keith's tombstone in silence for a few minutes. The simple truth is that they are family. Regardless of the years apart or the bitter fights. Interconnected. There's no happiness for one without the other, no suffering that afflicts only one of them. The consequences of one's actions reach the other. And, being here and now, together, they both find comfort in the stronger We. When Lucas finally parts from her and gets up, he smiles at the fact that his mother had been right. He feels lighter...like he knows the answer to all his questions. Telling her he'll be in touch, he gives Karen a goodbye hug and walks over to his car. Reaching into his pocket, he takes out the piece of paper Haley gave him and dials Brooke's number. After a couple of rings, the line goes to voicemail.

L: "Brooke, it's me. Please call me. We have to talk."

Getting hurriedly in his car, Lucas drives non-stop for the next four hours to his destination: his apartment over the garage in Charlotte. More specifically, to the box on his kitchen counter where his girlfriend Lindsay keeps the mail addressed to him. The mail that he never really opens. But, now, that's all he can think about. Because somewhere in that pile of old envelopes is the inescapable link that binds him to his son. A man on a mission. Determined. Maybe for the first time in longer than he can remember, he wants tomorrow to be different than yesterday. He wants the solitude to end. To let what's in his nature to take hold. Deciding to stay instead of running. To say what he should have said a long time ago. To let someone in on who he really is. To go after what he has always wanted. And, finally achieve that elusive shift from separation to oneness.