HEALING

I'll buy a cheap house somewhere peaceful, work on my novel, and live with cats for the rest of my life.


o7. Breaking


He doesn't receive immediate answers from her, which worries him more. Something tells him that she is not fine, that she is stressing over things, and he is not being helpful. He can tell that much because Lucy is such an expressive girl. He can feel the shift in her aura, something that instantly changed when he reaches the topic of the novels she makes or things related to that.

And just now, it was about her being a novelist. Does she that sensitive about her job? Does her anonymous state do apply to her real life as well? Natsu doesn't know, but he… he wants to know.

Reason. There must be some reasons behind her sensitivity.

He knocks at the door again, louder this time. "Lucy, please say something," he asks, resting his forehead to the door, hoping he can hear something by doing so.

"Natsu-kun, I'm not feeling well right now. If you want to leave, please just leave the tea cups there. I'll clean it later," is what he hears. She sounds weary, almost as if she is really down with fever or something, but he notices the tremble in them. Something inside him stirs – she lied?

"Lies!" The shout comes out even before he realizes it. Natsu hears a faint gasp – is Lucy right behind this door? – yet he continues. "Why are you acting like this? I'm trying to help you."

There is a pause. "You don't understand," she replies with a weak, trembling voice, "and you can't help me, Natsu-kun."

"I will if you tell me!"

The door is suddenly pulled open, revealing Lucy with red, puffy eyes. Natsu takes a step back upon noticing how the tears streaming down her cheek to the chin, like a river that continues to flow, and wariness behind those watery eyes. She bites down her frowning lips, as if to refrain herself from uttering all that he needs to know.

He doesn't like it – how can he help her if she keeps it all to herself?

"Lucy, please, I just– I just want to help you," Natsu says again after he manages to come down from his sudden outburst. She looks shaken (and scared, it's obvious from her expressive eyes) as she stands rigidly in front of him. "Maybe I can help you. I'm not as brainy as the other back in the institute but I promise I will help you."

"Natsu-kun," she smiles sweetly despite all those falling tears and bravely meeting his eyes, "I appreciate your thought of helping me, but this is just some minor problem and I'm just being childish."

He is skeptical about that smile – so fake. Even the emotionless children from the institute can fake a smile better than hers. He recognizes immediately, right after she draws that smile, that this is her weapon to drive him away. That smile and those carefully chosen words.

"And this is a private matter, Natsu-kun," she continues, wiping her eyes and cheek, "so I will appreciate it more if you stop pursuing it. I don't want to involve anyone with my problem – this is mine to solve."

Don't stick your nose where it doesn't belong, he can hear those words loud and clear even with the sugar coating. Sure, he is carefree and that he can be naïve at times, but he is no fool. His instinct, after all, is never wrong.

By rational mind, he should be backing off after she draws the sword and points the blade at him, but his rational mind seems to be stopping to function normally. Something just stirs his gut when those eyes start to water again and cheek reddens altogether. The wall she built suddenly crumble and she is nothing more than a child trapped between those fallen bricks. He can see the helplessness, fatigue from stress, confusion and fear swirling altogether in those unfocused eyes. It is just then he realizes that her problem is bigger than he originally thought, and all this time, she had been doing nothing but enduring.

She has been reduced from an adult to a younger girl in his eyes. Even with her back facing him, he can picture how her tears falling endlessly as she fights the hiccup and tries (and falling) to collect herself together. Her cry is silent, the only sound she makes are whimpers and rough gasp for air. Natsu fights the urge to envelope her in a hug, to tell her that he will be there for her and will help her and that she should let it all out while she can.

Or at least he can hold her hand, to remind her that she is not alone, that she can depend on him.

"Why do you bother yourself with someone like me?" He hears her trembling voice asking between the sharp inhale and wobbly exhale. "We haven't known each other that long yet. What if I was some wanted person in pursue? Would you help me then?"

"Lucy… I–" Natsu reaches her hand, softly tugging so she faces him. "I want and will help you, and I know that's not the real problem."

Lucy pulls away, covering her face with her hands and walks away from him. "No, you don't understand! If you help me, you'll be dragged into the mess and I don't want that!" She is close to screaming but then faltering abruptly. "It's the truth and I'm not as innocent as you think I am, Natsu-kun."

Natsu stops right in front of her, gently removing her hands from her face and cups it. He stares into her eyes before saying, "You are not at fault, whatever the case might be. Lucy is a kind person; I can see that much from your eyes."

Seconds pass as they stand still with Natsu diving into her eyes and she is left with minimum oxygen in her lungs. Her arms dangle limply at her sides before she finally finds the energy to lift them and tugs the hem of his shirt.

"Why?" She whispers. "Why did you do this?"

"Because I care," he replies, whispering too, "Because I love you."

"No, Natsu-kun, you don't," she pushes him away, turning her face to the side, "You love Leah."

"It's the same."

"It's different! Leah is dead! Leah has been dead years ago and I'm–!"

He doesn't know what gives him the courage, but he knows several things that happen in twenty seconds. His lips meet hers and she gasps, surprised, before pushing him away with those slender arms to no avail. The next thing he knows, right three seconds after their kiss, he is slumped on the floor with a sharp, stinging pain on his cheek and tangy taste in his mouth.

…HEALING…

Lucy doesn't remember clearly what happened in the past ten seconds before she is back to her senses. All she remembers is that she started to ramble things and the next thing was she found herself face to face with the boy whose lips touching hers. Sharp pain shot from the back of her head almost immediately and she struggled to break free.

When she starts to come back to her senses, Natsu is already on the floor with red cheek that started to swell and someone blocks her sight after that. All she can see now is black and she can't even make out the words that come from the person shielding her as they come out as shouts and hisses. The person's and Natsu's voice sounds like a sharp ringing to her ears, which adds the pain she already has from the headache.

Her legs choose that moment to give up, making her tumble to the floor like a thread-less marionette. The person with dark clothes shouts her name and clicks his tongue as she breaks in cold sweats. Her eyes are blurry and when she no longer sees the distinct hair color of Natsu's, blood seems to be drained from her as she slumps into the person who lifts her easily and put her to her bed.

"Shit, to think that forgetting your medicine actually helps you…" she hears the person curses and mutters to himself. "Oi, princess! Can you hear me? You gotta drink this medicine or else you'll be in a critical condition!"

"S-Sti..ng?"

"I should be honored that you actually called my name but right now, I don't care – just drink your medicine already!" He says, shoving a pill and a glass of water to her, which she takes rigidly.

As the medicine slides into the back of her throat, she started to feel clearer already. The ringing stopped and the sharp pain is nothing more than a dull ache. She then tries to reassemble her jumbled thoughts, harder than it sounds, but after several minutes, she can get the rough idea of things that happened before she is brought here.

"If I knew you would be harassed, I wouldn't have left. Give me a call if something like that happen, you hear me?" He scolds her as he hands her a towel, but receives a snort from her instead. "The heck! You have a problem, huh, blondie?"

"Oh, shut up, Sting," Lucy sighs, burying her face into the towel. "And thanks. I don't know what would I do if you didn't interfere. Not that I expect you to, of course."

When the male doesn't respond to her attempt of joking, she looks up to him and notices how his lips have turned into a thin, grim line. Something is going on and whatever it is, she knows it has anything to do with her. "What's wrong?"

"The letter I gave you earlier," he says, "have you read it?"

To that question, it's her turn to be silent. She remembers shoving it between books in a pile somewhere in her room earlier, but she knows she will open it and read it someday. So, she shakes her head, "No, not yet. I'm planning to read it… later…"

At her reply, Sting sighs wearily, slumping in the chair at her bedside. "It's pointless," he mutters. "I guess I'll tell you directly, then. The letter is not from your father; it's from me."

"From you? What for?"

"It contains an information about your father that you might find important," he says, closing his eyes and crossing his arm, "He has been sentenced by his private doctor that he has a lung cancer."

Suddenly, Lucy feels her heart beats sound louder in her ear; thumping slower and slower before it dies out. She feels dizzy from the rush of blood to her head. Her mouth is gaping, "He is…"

"He has not much time left, so if you want to settle things out," he looks at her sharply, "you better hurry."

Suddenly, Sting's words from earlier rings in his ears, repeating itself over and over. Suddenly, she feels a wave of nausea hitting her. Suddenly, she feels victorious and tired at the same time. Suddenly, she feels both whole and empty.

One thing that is certain is that something is shattering.

Don't you think it's about time to come back?


(-) Soooo Lucy is finally breaking and leaking! Geez, I'm sorry for the hiatus! The last update was on March so it has been two months already. So sorry and THANK YOU for waiting :) I'm so happy to know that there are people who still read this despite my hiatus :"D

(-) I just finished my semester exam so I finally touch and use ms word to write and continue my story instead of making power points and another college-related thing. The next update will be at the beginning of June or the second week of June (hopefully sooner) because I haven't write the eighth chapter yet (this one took me almost all night to write)

(-) Any thought about this chapter? Suggestion or bad grammar? You can always let me know from review or be a lovely and brighten my day by sending me DM!