'You sold me sold me
Sold me down the river now
Hope you're feeling happy now
Now you'll always have a sneer in your smile

But wake up baby
You're so totally deluded
You'll end up old and lonely
If you don't get a bullet in your head…'

Good Luck

--- Basement Jaxx

000

"Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg! Oh what fun it is to ride on a one horse open sleigh. HEY!"

Serena and Lita cringed from where they were, in Lita's kitchen, at Mina's horrendous rendition – slash – massacre of a Christmas carol.

"No wonder Malachite hasn't proposed to her," Lita said to her, giving Serena a nudge with her elbow, her hands buried deep in the ginger bread dough.

"Don't let Mina hear that," Serena giggled softly, positioning the man-shaped cutter over her flat dough.

"Don't let me hear what?" Mina bounced to a stop, looking suspiciously at the girls.

"We were just saying, we think it might be the night you've been waiting for," Lita lied smoothly.

Mina's eyes glistened with an instant sparkle, a squeal emitting from her mouth, "You really think so?"

"I'm getting the vibes for tonight," Lita replied adding an air of mystery to her voice.

"Oh my God!" With that final exclamation Mina zoomed off, no doubt to practice her accepting.

"That was mean," Serena chided, "God knows when that man's going to propose to her."

"Hey," Lita said, shrugging her shoulders innocently, "I didn't say he would propose, just implied tonight would be special. Which it is of course, so it's legit."

"Wicked woman," Serena chuckled.

They worked the rest of the morning, baking plenty of ginger bread men to feed the private Christmas party gathering that night. It was at Marinelli Mansion, which made Serena quiver, but she took comfort in knowing that if she stayed close with the girls all would be fine. It was a gathering always three days before Christmas, founded by the girls in high school so they, as a 'family-sister-kin', could be together before going home for their traditional family Christmases. The event just fixed itself for every year, and like every year the girls would return back to their families, leaving Serena alone.

Amy and Zack were going to Switzerland to see Zack's parents and extended family. Lita was returning home to New York, where she'd celebrate her Christmas with her fiancé and four brothers. As for Mina, she'd see that horrendous little niece of hers and the whole family would charter their jet to a 'surprise' location. Raye would probably return to Italy, along with Darien and Beryl – thank God!

Serena herself usually went to her parents; parents being a nice remote holiday by herself, out of London but never very far. She would stay in a secluded house that belonged to her foster mother, who Serena had remained good friends with. Serena had never told the girls about her mother and fathers scandal, she'd never mention parents by choice, she hadn't even told them about her mom's death in high school. She did it because she couldn't bear the thought of them pitying her. The judges in the courts pitied her; she could always hear the people's whispers on how unfortunate she was, weak looking child and from a broken family too. Father can't keep his pants on. Mother's a terrible alcoholic. She was always shunted around by people who didn't want her. After the initial lie, it became an annual thing, so the girls wouldn't feel an obligation to fit her in – it had worked remarkably well. She'd do art or photography all day, having hours of silence and no interruptions; it was a nice meditating event to cap off the year.

"Now watch those men," Lita warned, "They will cook incredibly fast."

"Will do," Serena said.

The ginger men was a must have every Christmas, Raye being particularly fond of the men shaped treat. After the men were cool, Lita proceeded to ice them while Serena pressed the chocolate buttons down their chest. Serena became incredibly apprehensive after they were done, for every time someone spoke she expected them to say 'let's go to Marinelli Mansion'. In fact her dread was so intense a headache began to thump in her temple until some one did say it.

"Let's roll!" Lita informed as Nathan packed the ginger bread men into the car.

Mina had left with Malachite earlier, conveniently when they had to wash the dishes, while Serena remained, needing to get a ride with Lita.

"Got everything?" Nathan asked Lita.

"Yep," Lita replied, sending Nathan a glittering smile.

Serena turned away at the intimacy of the couple, feeling a jerk of longing, which she tried to pass off as an uncomfortable invasion on the couple. Settling in Nathan's green jeep, Serena held the large tray securely on her lap, while Nathan brought the engine to life. The drive was uneventful for Serena, her headache pulsing at the absolute anxiety. She tried to keep calm, knowing that stress wasn't healthy for a baby; she didn't dare take a pain killer to sooth her head so she'd resorted to a good old fashioned glass of water.

Serena found herself clenching the tray as they drove through the wrought gates, her lips dry and her body cold. She knew Darien would be there and, to add to the pressure, Seiya would be there too.

"Come on Sere," Lita prompted, opening the back seat and taking out the ginger bread.

"Merry Christmas!" Raye shrieked as she came barrelling down the stairs, enveloping them all in hugs and kisses.

Mina came following behind along with Amy, the girls sharing energetic pleasantries. In the midst of activity, Beryl slinked from the mammoth house, dressed in a super hot outfit of a plunging crimson gown that clung to her body like a glove. Her cat-green eyes sought Serena out, pinning her with a hostile glare, then trailing down with a sneer. Serena glared back, not feeling anywhere near shame for her large knitted jersey of Rudolf. All the girls were wearing them, even Mina, the vulgar green, red and gold jerseys going against all fashion codes.

When the girls all lined up, Serena at the start and Lita at the end, the pictures connected like a puzzle to form Father Christmas in his sleigh with the reindeer. Mina's grandmother had made them, a pattern from a magazine (hence the men's sizes), and every Christmas they wore them with pride, one of the many traditions the girls had.

"Come in guys, it's quite nippy out here," Raye instructed, leading the way.

Marinelli Mansion had been decorated in accordance to the occasion. There were wreathes and decorations littered all over, it looked radiant and festive. At the top of the regal stair case she saw Darien and felt her heart twinge, she quickly diverted her gaze, but in her mind she continued to see him. He was dressed rather casually in a grey cashmere jersey, the dark ash colour emphasising those large shoulders and hard chest. His lean legs were encased in a pair of blue jeans that looked outrageously good on him.

"You bought the ginger men!" Raye said happily, "Serena take them to the kitchen will you."

"Sure," Serena said, taking the tray.

The cook in the kitchen gladly received the biscuits, saying he would present them at coffee after dessert, clucking about how great they'd be since Lita made them. Serena pouted, she helped too! On her way back, she was suddenly confronted by Seiya, dressed in a striped blue shirt and black pants.

"Um, hi," Serena stuttered nervously.

"Hello, Serena," He greeted smoothly with a friendly smile, "Let's go somewhere quiet, shall we."

He led them off to the library of the house, seating her on the couch and settling beside her. This room was one of Serena's favourite, stacked with mountains of books, new and old, radiating an atmosphere of peace and tranquillity. Darien was an avid reader, and though Serena didn't really like books, apart from comics, she loved the colourful spines on the shelves and the scent of paper.

"So have you thought about my proposal?" Seiya asked.

"That's all I've been thinking about," Serena confessed, twisting her hands in her lap, "The thing is, Seiya, I don't think I can marry you."

"Why not?" Seiya asked patiently.

"Well, I stand by my opinion that it isn't fair to chain you down for duty," Serena explained.

"Serena," Seiya said, "I'm a thirty year old man, it's about time I settled down. This isn't so much to do with duty; I think you'll make a perfect wife for me."

"I still can't do it, I'm sorry," Serena said, starting to stand up.

"Well, I suppose I can't force you to marry me," he said with a good natured smile, "But how are you anyway? You must be right into your second trimester by now."

Serena settled down, "Yeah, I am, and the second trimester is kinder than the first. I feel much better."

"Can I?" He asked, indicating to her stomach.

Serena nodded, lifting her jersey to reveal her cotton clad stomach. Seiya's hand descended upon the bump, a smile on his face.

"Good thing you're wearing that large top," Seiya said absentmindedly, "Because once Darien finds out, he'll employ the best lawyers of this century to get this child."

"What…" Serena choked.

"You mean, you didn't think about that aspect? Darien will find out about the baby, and if I know him right, he'll do anything to claim what's rightfully his. He might be nice and give you some time to be with the child, but then maybe not."

Serena's head began to short circuit, "I can't hire big lawyers. I don't have that kind of money." Terror reflected in those large eyes of hers, suddenly making hear appear very child like. Her heart was thumping a million miles, she felt sick down to her stomach and her headache pounded.

"Calm down, Serena," Seiya soothed, wrapping her into his embrace, "Your distress isn't healthy for the baby."

Serena looked at him, through blurry tearful eyes, "What can I do? What can I do to protect my baby? I can't lose my child."

"Well, all I had was that idea. If you married me then we could pretend the baby is mine."

"Oh my God," Serena breathed against his shoulder, "Let's do it then."

Seiya held her shoulders, pulling her back to gaze into her eyes, "You want to marry me?"

Serena nodded vigorously, "Yes."

"Good choice," Seiya agreed, giving her a supportive smile and rocking her until her tears had subsided.

"I suppose they'll be waiting for us," Serena said, wiping her face.

Seiya lead them back to the foyer and to the dining room, where everyone was patiently waiting, two seats unoccupied, obviously for them.

"Where on earth have you two been?" Raye scolded, "Pull up a seat, I'm starving!"

Serena settled in her seat, between Malachite and Lita, Seiya across the table next to Raye and Beryl. Darien was in her peripheral vision, sitting at the head of the table like a king. She quickly made a short-term goal not to look at him, she was feeling emotionally battered after Seiya and doubted she could handle anymore. Her appetite had gone completely, and she only managed a couple spoonfuls of the rich soup placed before her. Everyone chatted amicably, telling short-stories, jokes and memories, but Serena felt excluded. She laughed when appropriate, looked at the speakers and even managed a few words, but she felt empty inside. They had three courses, the Italian minestrone soup, English roast then dessert of chocolate bon bons. She pecked at each like a bird, flicking food onto Lita's and Malachite's plates when they weren't looking.

"We're so proud of Serena," Mina said to the table, "Some of her art has been selected for the February Van Gogh gallery show, isn't that right sweetie."

"Yes," Serena answered simply.

"What are we to expect?" Lita added.

"That's a secret," Serena laughed.

"We'd better clear a wall, right Darien?" Raye said.

"I think we can manage that," Darien answered in a low tone.

Serena swallowed hard and chewed her lower lip.

"Anyway, that dessert was great, why don't we move to the drawing room and conclude this night with coffee," Beryl purred.

Serena got the feeling that this 'get together' Christmas party was not what Beryl was used to. She'd been sort of left out as the group of close friends socialized, Serena felt sorry for her. Darien should have given her the opportunity to invite some of her own friends.

Seiya managed to be by her side, sitting close on the couch walling her against the end arm and his body. The butler brought in Italian cappuccinos and the ginger bread men, which Serena took one of, breaking off the biscuits limbs and nibbling them half-heartedly. There was chatter and laughter, but Serena gaze was fixed on the flickering fire, glowing hypnotically in the hearth. That was until Seiya drew attention to himself, standing up and addressing the group.

"Tonight is really special, in more then just because it's Christmas – for me anyway," He started, "Tonight, I'm going to change my life for the better."

"What on earth are you talking about, Seiya," Raye inquired with bafflement.

Seiya got onto his knee in front of Serena's seated form, "Serena, would you do the honour of becoming my wife?" From his pants he pulled out a royal blue velvet box and opened it, revealing a diamond ring on a bed of blue satin.

All the blood drained from Serena's face making her suddenly very faint. Her previous expression was replaced by utter shock, and her thoughts totally dropped from her head. She tried to speak but her tongue and mouth become incoherent as everyone riveted their gaze upon her. She could feel her heart thundering in her chest especially against the sudden silence engulfing her. Seiya was gazing up at her so earnestly, he was ripping her into shreds with sincerity, and the thumping in her head tipped the scale, becoming all consuming.

Serena realized she was hesitating too much, opening her mouth she began to form the single word that would seal her fate.

"Yes."

Seiya gave a hoot of happiness, cupping the back of her neck and pressing his lips against hers in a brief kiss. Serena felt very shaky as Seiya broke off, the engagement ring seeming like a red hot weight burning upon her finger. The girls fawned around her, exclaiming their congratulations and excitement, as they tightly packed in grabbing for her hand all at once.

While the girls inspected the ring, making little comments, her gaze unconsciously rose to Darien – and he was positively livid. His jaw was clenched, his fists balled by his sides and shoulders shaking with tension. When Serena looked into his eyes they blazed with betrayal, the hurt radiating from him. Serena wanted to be angry at the hypocrisy of the situation, but in all honesty she wanted to cry. When did her life take such a horrendous twist? It wounded her to see such agony in Darien.

Darien gave her a final look, this time his pain covered by a dark façade as he glared, then he spun around and left, leaving Serena feeling like a criminal.

Get over it, Serena, she snarled at herself, what are you expecting? Youand Darien will never be together, so make a life for yourself. Stop moping around! All the others managed, you will to.

Her inner thoughts were right. Now that her heart was hardening, she had come to the painful conclusion that Darien and her were over, full-stop. However, she just knew, deep in her soul, that no one could replace Darien, he was her one true love for life. Too bad he never saw it.

But here was Seiya, willing to give her a go even though she was pregnant with another man's child. He wasn't letting go for greener pastures and though he didn't make her heart pound, he was solid.

Stability was good, and he meant what he said. Serena was sure she'd come to love him, after all, life doesn't end because of one bad egg. Seiya was sensitive, thoughtful and quiet; he'd make a good father to her child – their child.

Some where in her mind she knew she wasn't being fair to Darien. She was depriving him of vital knowledge, but it was all for the better she reasoned. Beryl had remained on the opposite couch, her face holding a mixed expression that Serena couldn't decipher.

"When's the set date!" Mina threw in.

"They only just got engaged, fluff head!" Raye snapped.

"Serena, you're looking a little peaky," Amy noticed, "Are you going to faint? Would you like to go to the bathroom?"

Like lightening Lita's hand shot out to rest on Serena's forehead.

"She does feel a bit warm," Lita added with a note of concern.

"I'd like to talk to my fiancée if you don't mind," Seiya interrupted, pushing past the girls and taking Serena's arm. As they left the room they heard Mina release a long whine about how Malachite still hadn't proposed.

Seiya wrapped a supporting hand around her back, leading them out towards the hibernating garden frosted in ice.

"How are you feeling?" Seiya asked softly.

"Like Athena's trying to bust out of my head," Serena answered tonelessly.

"How's the baby?" He asked even softer.

Serena's hands rubbed over her stomach soothingly and she closed her eyes as she savoured the quiet moment. Seiya took both her hands from her belly, and held them securely within his lean fingers. He raised them up to his chest so that the diamond, set in her engagement ring, twinkled under the shimmering moon.

"We're doing the right thing," he said to ease Serena's discomfort.

"I hope you're right," Serena muttered softly, "I still feel so guilty."

"About what?" He inquired.

"About you marrying me," She lied, for the true reason ached within her chest, never to be even whispered from her lips.

A gentle smile broke upon his aristocratic face, "Like I said before, this is what I want. Don't stress yourself out over it, you've already had quite an exciting hour, don't you agree."

More like heart-breaking in my opinion, Serena thought to herself. She couldn't wait to get home because she felt mentally exhausted, needing a few hours alone to make sense of the life-changing events occurring left right and centre. Seiya saw the emotions flitting over her little face and encircled her in a bear hug, rocking her with sweet words of support.

Serena thought back to easy days and laughed at her naïve ideas. All through school and university she used to scoff at the girls that moped around when their boyfriends dumped them. She'd always told herself, 'that won't be me I'd never cry for days getting over a guy', and with the few people she dated, she believed that was the case. She knew better now. She missed Darien's embrace, how he'd tuck her neatly beneath his chin and nuzzle her hair. Serena shook her head to dispel the forbidden thoughts and fell into Seiya's hug, making herself bury her face into his shoulder and return the friendly gesture.

"I think you'll be the perfect bride," Seiya said into her hair.

"I hope you're right," Serena answered, her optimistic light beginning to re-kindle, "I really do."

000

Darien sat at the gaudy bar, his hand around a shot glass of alcohol, which he proceeded to drink in one blow. There was a thrum of blurred music in the background, but he was too tired to be bothered with it, ordering another glass on top of the other few. He wasn't even sure how many he'd consumed anymore.

In his mind he kept seeing the scene, it rolled brutally over and over in his mind like a broken record, driving him insane. No matter what, he saw Seiya go down on his knee, his pathetic washed-out cousin, and propose to his woman. The more painful issue was Serena accepting, it was like he was punched in the gut, a vicious rage welling deep from his soul. The hate and anger spread over him like a black poison.

Was she trying to make him jealous and resentful? Because if she was, it was working; he hated his younger cousin more then ever, wanting to sink his fist into Seiya's face, especially when he saw him kiss Serena's rosebud lips.

The mere thought of Seiya's sordid hands on Serena made him seethe. Darien wasn't going to deny he was a possessive man, it came with the territory. In business you fight to keep what's yours and Serena's heart was his.

"Hey there," A woman's voice interrupted.

From his peripheral vision, he saw a brunette woman slide next to him. After that he didn't spare a second glance.

"What's a good-looker like you doing all by yourself, hm?" She purred.

Darien tossed a generous bill to the bartender and stood up, ignoring the woman, and making his way towards the exit. His shoulder knocked another mans, but Darien didn't take notice, coldly continuing until the other guy snarled at him to apologise. Darien didn't feel like apologizing and he swivelled his icy bitter gaze upon the man, his acid look challenging him. With that Darien continued until, out of nowhere, a big beefy fist flew and hit his face. Darien didn't feel the pain, in fact he welcomed the fight, wanting to vent out the violent emotions locked and constrained within his muscles.

Quick as a cheetah, and just as lethal, Darien swung his own punch, landing it neatly across the man's jaw, sending him spinning to the floor. The dirty blond struggled to his elbows, blood seeping from his nose and down his white t-shirt. Darien didn't give him much time to comprehend the situation, before marching purposefully towards him and taking hold of his cotton shirt. Pulling him half from the floor, Darien laid another powerful hit over the bastards face.

The blond struggled to his feet, positioning himself with his fists raised sloppily. The man should have given up, Darien thought, because he wasn't going to back down until the fool did. With a war cry, the blond attacked, ramming into Darien's body causing Darien to grunt at the impact. Recovering quickly, Darien drove his fist repeatedly into his opponent's gut.

"Hey! Cut it out you two," The bar man yelled, trying to part the fighting men.

"Get lost," the blond hissed, wiping the back of his hand across his bloody mouth.

The fight continued until the police rushed in, taking each drunken man and handcuffing them. The bar was a mess, glasses broken, tables over turned and the patrons acting like animals egging the two fighters on. The police shoved them into separate patrol cars, where they were taken to the station and placed into cells. Darien felt better after releasing all the negative energy, having sustained minimum injuries, unlike his adversary he thought with great satisfaction.

He'd been there barely an hour before a cop came and opened his cell, leading him out of the detainment area into the main station.

"You've been bailed out," The man stated "There will be a trial, until then keep out of trouble. It's disappointing to see such a prestigious man like yourself getting into a measly squabble at a bar."

Darien didn't answer, just boring his blue eyes at the cop, who shivered and left quickly. Beryl had been seated in the station lobby, her long legs crossed as she perched at the end of her mangy seat. When she saw him she rose heading towards him and seizing his arm.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Beryl hissed angrily, "Getting arrested for a godforsaken bloody bar brawl. Look at you. I don't think I've ever been more embarrassed." She dug her claws into his arm to reinforce her words, taking them to her fire red Lexus.

Darien looked at her and held his hand out, "Keys."

Beryl laughed hollowly, "No way, you've done enough damage for one night. I don't fancy being wrapped around a pole, thank you."

"That's a bit of a paradox," Darien laughed callously, "That's how you seduced me, remember."

"You're one to talk, in the dictionary the definition of seduction says Darien," She shot back bitterly, steering them back towards Marinelli Mansion. The rest of the ride was in silence.

At Marinelli Mansion, Darien retired to his office, where he roughly cleaned the cut on his cheek and started drinking again. His office was completely dark, apart from the glowing fire in the hearth, Darien's mind becoming fuzzy under the large alcohol consumption. His eyes tiredly strayed down, savouring a dream of Serena, his heart beat increasing as he remembered her explosive reactions when he touched her. Remembered after they made love she'd rest his head against her chest, running her fingers into his hair tenderly. How she pointed out the tiniest little details that he always took for granted. How she did those odd little things, like rearranging objects against common logic and taking insignificant notes about nothing. All of which were endearing and why he'd fallen in love with her.

How could he keep Seiya away from her?

000

'I'm in love with you

And it's crushing my heart

All I want is you

To take me into your arms

When love and death embrace

I love you

And you're crushing my heart

I need you

Please take me into your arms…'

When love and death embrace

--- HIM

000

Thank you

oni