A/N: As if you couldn't tell... things have been SUPER busy for me. I just want to quickly reasure everyone that I will never completely disapear and leave an incomplete story just hanging. I hate that just as much as I'm sure you do... investing your time into a story only to have an author desert you... I will NEVER do that. Pinky swear. That being said I also want you to know that for the next month things are still going to be a bit chaotic in my 3-D life... kids are starting school and we're in the middle of a move.. but I'll always pop in when I can and add a chapter. As soon as things settle down we'll get back to the daily updates. Thanks again for reading.
This chapter is just a quickie wrapping up their first summer together. The next chapter which I'm adding immedietely following will be what comes next... but still part of the original flashback. (I sure hope that made sense.)
They drove home from the restaurant in silence. Derek had gone out of his way in an attempt to make the night special. But it didn't seem anything he did had been right. First Meredith had said she didn't care for the restaurant he had taken her to; even though he remembered her specifically mentioning towards the beginning of summer that it was one she was dying to try but couldn't afford on her measly lifeguard salary. Derek had brushed it off and moved forward, hoping to surprise her with the private table he had reserved. It was positioned on the balcony overlooking the beautiful lights of the lit up city, but she had complained the air was too chilly and could swear she smelt the exhaust from the freeway nearly ten miles to their North. It had bothered her when he had ordered her salad without tomatoes, stating that half the fun was picking them out. She was angry when her steak had arrived medium rare, claiming Derek had ordered her a raw cow on purpose. The strawberry sauce from the cheesecake that dropped on the lap of her new skirt was because he was rushing her, even though he hadn't spoken a word, she insisted his look had said enough.
Nothing he did had been right and Meredith was desperately trying to pick a fight with him at every little turn of the evening. If he held the door open for her, she groaned that she was an independent woman and didn't need doting over. If he let her get her own door, an eye roll accompanied as she muttered under her breath about chivalry being a thing of the past. Derek had grown frustrated, almost to a point that he nearly called her on it, confronted her about her bad attitude, but then it had hit him. He knew what she was doing.
The anger that was building inside his chest immediately diminished, sadness and understanding taking its place. This was their final night. Tomorrow morning, Meredith would board a plane and be carried hundreds of miles away to start a new life. She'd be heading to college, leaving behind her home, leaving behind her friends, but most importantly, leaving behind Derek. And so it all made sense to him now. She was doing it all on purpose. Her sour demeanor, her standoffishness, everything. She wanted to make him mad. She wanted to fight. She wanted him to storm off screaming how he never wanted to see her again. In a sad and pathetic way, it would make things easier for her. She thought that if they fought, if they ended their summer fling on a bad note. It wouldn't hurt so much. Her heart wouldn't ache when they said their goodbyes and she wouldn't shed tears of fear of what the distance would do to this amazing new thing they had found together. In her own way, she thought that what she was doing was best for both of them.
Derek watched her out of the corner of his eye as he maneuvered his jeep through the dark streets. She sat with her arms crossed over her chest, her mouth set in a frown as she stared distractedly out the window. He couldn't take it any more. This was not how he planned on spending his last night with Meredith.
Their summer had been incredible. Six amazing weeks of feeling like he was on top of the world. He had gone to his father's office, helping there during the day while Meredith attended to her lifeguard duties. But at night, after she finished her shift, they were always together. Inseparable. They had become expert sneakers, neither his parents nor her mother having a clue about what was going on. They took turns sneaking into each others rooms at nights. They had silly codes and signs for when they needed a certain itch to be scratched that only the other one could scratch so well. They went to movies together, little league baseball games, midnight skinny dipping, ice cream truck chasing like they were young again. They had done it all, and Derek's heart sunk realizing it was coming to an end. Their summer affair was over.
He turned his jeep off the main highway unto a dirt road, following it as it weaved through trees, the forest becoming thicker and the stars becoming brighter the further he went. Finally reaching his intended destination, he slowed the jeep and put it in park, satisfied they'd be uninterrupted in this spot.
With a slight turn of the key, the engine was killed, the silence of nature echoing around them, the immense darkness shattered only by two straight beams of his headlights. He stared ahead a moment, gathering his thoughts as Meredith continued on with her determination to not utter a word.
Taking a breath, Derek finally turned. "Mer. Don't do this."
She stared straight ahead her stubbornness unwavering.
"Mer… I know what you're doing. And it's not going to work. I'm not going to get angry. I'm not going to fight with you. This summer was too perfect. I won't let you end it like this."
Derek watched as she slowly turned her head, her eyes finally meeting his as they searched his face. "I can't do this." She whispered.
"Do what?" Derek asked softly.
"I can't… I can't leave...I can't get on that plane tomorrow. I don't want to. Please Derek… I just can't."
Her voice trailed off as her eyes pleaded with him. There was more she wanted to say. But she couldn't find the courage. She wanted to tell him how she really felt about him. How this had been way more than a summer fling to her. She wanted to tell him to beg her to stay. To ask her come to college with him. Not half way across the country. But she couldn't find the nerve.
"Meredith…" Derek's voice caught in his throat as he struggled with his emotions. She was so vulnerable, her eyes large and begging. All he wanted to do was hold her in his arms and never let go. The last thing on this earth he wanted to do was say good bye to her as she started this new life with out him. He wanted to be selfish and insist she change her plans. He resisted the urge to beg her to stay, to transfer to a college close to him. But he couldn't. He had to be the better guy. He wouldn't let Meredith settle her goals for him. He wouldn't let her give up on her dreams.
"You can do this. You can. You have an amazing opportunity that you shouldn't pass up. Do you know how many people try to get in to that college? Millions. And you not only got in… you have a scholarship. You've earned this Mer and I'm so proud. So tomorrow. You're going to get on that plane and not look back. And you'll be fine. Everything will be just how we talked about. You're going to have some crazy roommates who drag you to ridiculous parties. You are going to knock the professors out with your incredible knowledge. You're going to strut around campus and have guys falling at your feet and you're going to date…"
Meredith turned her face quickly away from him. They had already had this conversation and she didn't like it any more now then she had the first time. Derek reacted just as quick and caught her face in his hands, turning her to look back into his eyes.
"Mer… you are going to date. You're going to have fun. You're young and beautiful and I will not be responsible for holding you back. Everything will be fine. We'll keep in touch. We'll call each other throughout the week and we have email. Time will fly. I promise to come home for Christmas this year if you do and before we know it, a year will have passed and we'll have another amazing summer. I promise Mer. This will work. The years will fly. And I'll be there when you stand in line for your diploma cheering for you like a crazy fool. And then… we'll see what happens. I'll be into my residency by then… you'll be deciding which med school to attend out of your hundreds of acceptance letters…"
"Derek." Meredith interrupted with a warning tone. "We already went over this. I am not going to med school. Four years is enough for me. You heard my mom… I could never make it… and she's right."
Derek sighed and shook his head, not wanting to have that argument again. He knew she'd be a brilliant doctor but Ellis's harsh words had broken her spirit to the core. He'd remain quiet for now but he wasn't giving up. He had four years to change her mind.
"So we're okay?" He asked softly, pulling her in his arms and kissing her forehead lightly.
"We're okay." She assured, leaning against his chest and breathing him in. She wanted to memorize this moment. She wanted to memorize his smell so that when she lay awake at night in her lonely bed, she'd be able to conjure him up in her mind. He was it for her. She was sure of it.
Now if she could only get through the next four years and somehow get him to feel the same for her.
