7. An Alley Behind a Club
Lying in bed, I stared at the ceiling. I had just finished another crying fit. It was hard to keep Alexander out of my head. I had never fallen in love before. I had never gone through a breakup. Memories of everything we had done together since he had moved here kept playing through my mind and I couldn't stop it. I was naïve enough to think Alexander and I would last. I had thought I found my soul mate, I had let myself believe that I was lucky enough to spend the rest of my life with the very first love of my life. This reality check was one that had ripped my heart out.
I screamed into my pillow, releasing some of my pain and frustration. Not only was I dealing with my torturous thoughts of Alexander, but I also had two guys that I had mixed feelings about. And having any kind of feelings for them made me feel guilty. How could I be going through my first heartbreak and thinking of, not one but two, other guys? Did I even love Alexander if I'm having feelings towards Trevor and Jagger? Of course, I did. There's no doubt about that. If I didn't, then I wouldn't be in this much pain.
Would I actually have to choose between these two? That would probably not only make it easier for me but on them as well. This weird triangle had to stop. But it's not like I could choose between either of them right now. Not while I'm in this state. But I also couldn't keep taking advantage of them and leading them on.
Maybe I should just steer clear of them awhile. Or maybe I could spend one-on-one time with both of them. Is that too Bachelor? At this point, it didn't really matter. I had to either choose or keep them both out of my life. It's not fair to any of us. I couldn't keep being so selfish, no matter how much I felt like I needed both of them by my side through this Alexander stuff. What would it be like if I chose?
Jagger. He's dangerous, yet sweet. But not human...Could I handle another relationship of only nighttime romance? With Trevor, I could have day and night with him. But I was willing to change for Alexander, could I do that for Jagger? Could we both live under the stars and go out on dates blanketed by the night sky? Cuddling together in a coffin by day and living by night? All the thoughts of how I imagined mine and Alexander's relationship placed themselves upon how mine and Jagger's could go. Do I want that? Would I just be comparing Jagger to Alexander every second we were together?
Trevor. Day and night. But then I'd have to deal with his friends. They hate me, I hate them. I would never want for him to drop them just to be with me. Would he even do that though? Trevor's life is completely different from mine, and no matter how he treats me, everyone would still treat me the same. Could I deal with him not standing up for me when that happens? And what about everything's he's done to me?
"Am I actually choosing?" I questioned aloud. Could I actually do so? Here I am, brain on overdrive. "Can I actually choose one over the other?" At the moment, I couldn't. My wounds were still too fresh, and honestly, neither Jagger nor Trevor had been able to wipe Alexander completely from my head. I want someone that can make me forget him, to show me that Alexander isn't the only person I'm ever going to love. But not someone that makes me regret Alexander. No matter how it ended, I don't regret falling in love, I think it's changed me, made me better, stronger.
With thoughts of love and betrayal and choices swirling around in my head, I finally drifted to sleep.
"No way!" I screeched as Henry brought the spider closer to my face.
"Please? Billy said you would do it! It won't be for very long," he looked at me pleadingly.
"No," I replied sternly. "There is no way I am watching your tarantula while you and Nerd Boy are gone at nerd camp. It's gross. Can't you just take it with you?"
"Nope. No pets allowed." Henry pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.
"I'd hardly call that nasty thing a pet," I muttered under my breath. "Fine. But you're gonna have to pay me." There was no way I was watching this thing for free.
His eyes lit up in satisfaction. "How much?"
"Ten bucks an hour," I replied smugly. The light in his eyes faded as a frown tugged his lips down.
"Raven, that's a lot of money. You realize there is no way he can afford that," a new voice piped up from behind me.
"Doesn't mean his parents can't pay me." I whipped around to face Billy Boy.
"Ugh, I can pay you five an hour. That's as high as I'll go." Henry regained my attention. I spun back to face him, quite aware that money signs were flashing in my eyes.
"Deal." He stuck his hand between us and I gladly shook it, sealing the negotiation.
"You two are so childish," Billy murmured, walking out of my room.
"It's called business, kid. You'll do it someday," I called after him. Henry nodded his head in agreement then disappeared after his friend.
"Hmm...you've done well, Raven," I told myself as I plopped down on my bed. It had been a week since Alexander left. A week since my life changed forever, and not in the way I had wanted. I hadn't quite made up my mind what I was going to do about Jagger and Trevor, but to make things fair, I had decided that whichever one I developed more feelings for will be the one I choose. And hell, who knows, another guy might waltz up and steal my heart.
"Raven!" Mom's voice carried up the stairs.
"Yeah?"
"There's someone here to see you."
"Okay," I yelled back. I reluctantly pushed myself up from my bed and made my way downstairs. Once I reached the living room, I was shocked to see Jagger sitting on our cream colored couch. His hair hung in his face, a black V-neck sticking to his toned chest, contrasting to his pale skin. Man, this is not good for my mental state. I practically drooled.
"Hey." He jumped at the sound of my voice.
"Hey. I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out tonight? I don't have anything to do. Plus, we haven't really hung out much this week." Jagger stood from his sitting position and made his way towards me.
Did I mention I've kind of avoided both of them to deplete the chances of either of them winning me over? Yeah...oops?
"Uh, yeah sure. Lemme grab my shoes." I ran up to my room and tugged on a pair of high-tops. Jagger met me at the bottom of the stairs.
"I brought my car, so we don't have to walk today. Do you wanna grab dinner or something? I already ate." He pulled his keys out of his pocket and headed for the front door.
"Yeah, why not. Mom, I'll be back later!" I called over my shoulder as I exited the house. We walked down the path and I saw his hearse parked on the side of the street.
"Where to milady?" Jagger questioned, starting the car. The engine roared to life as I contemplated my answer.
"Anywhere, I'm not that hungry so if you wanna skip that part we can go wherever you want," I answered him honestly. I didn't really care where we went, not like it was a date...right?
"Hmm...," he hummed, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel, "Then to The Crypt!"
I laughed at his enthusiasm, "Alright, sounds good." I hadn't been there since before the ceremony anyway. Maybe I'd see Scarlet and Onyx.
"Good," he answered back with a smirk. Oh great, what have I gotten myself into? I couldn't help but think.
Jagger's POV
Thump. Thump. Thump.
All I could focus on was Raven's jugular as she pressed up against me, dancing in rhythm with the thunderous music. I had already had my fill of blood tonight, but there was something about her that made me dangerously close to tearing into her. I had to stop thinking that way. I would never do it, of course. But it wasn't just her blood driving me crazy. The smell of her perfume, how close she was to me, I wanted her so bad. Maybe coming to the club wasn't the best idea.
"Jagger," Raven's voice rang through the music. I looked down at her to see a worried look in her eyes.
I bent down to level my mouth with her ear. "What's wrong?"
"I-I need air. I'm feeling sick." Her warm breath brushed against my cheek. I nodded my head and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Once I had steered us through the crowd, she started searching for a door leading outside. Good time for her to need air, I needed it as well.
"There." I pointed to a door that exited to an alley behind the club. She clasped her hand around mine and dragged me with her. It feels perfect. I couldn't help but think. Man, I sounded like a girl. But it was true; Raven's hand felt perfect in mine and I just wished she held it for affectionate purposes.
Let's face it. Raven may have been my perfect girl, I've known that for a while, but I also knew she had feelings for Trevor. Feelings that she didn't carry for me, she had made that clear when I had tried to lure her into a covenant ceremony with me. Feelings I wish she carried for me. It had also only been a week since Alexander left so I couldn't push myself on her.
A strong wind pushed against us as Raven opened the door, snapping me out of my thoughts. We stepped outside and I leaned against the jagged, brick wall. Raven let out a sharp breath as the air struck her skin. Seeing she was cold, I reached out and wrapped an arm around her waist, shielding her from the wind.
"Sorry, I just got caught up in the music, then it was like someone drained all the air from me. I couldn't breathe; I needed fresh air," Raven whispered against my chest.
"Don't apologize. I don't mind. I needed out of there, too." I brushed my hands through her dark hair, pushing it out of her face. I felt her shiver once again. I slipped my arms out of the jacket I had been wearing and draped it over her shoulders. "Do you wanna leave? We've been here for quite some time."
"Really? It's only felt like a few minutes. I don't know. I don't really wanna go home yet," she said, tipping her head up. I instantly captured her eyes with my own. Sure, mine had a 'hypnotic' sort of power, but hers were truly captivating. I couldn't help but stare into their dark depths. We stood like that for a few minutes; my arms secured around her waist, her hands propped against my chest, our bodies only centimeters apart.
An overwhelming feeling of lust crashed over me as my eyes flickered down to her plump, dark lips before returning to hers. I wasn't sure how much longer I keep myself in control. She was driving me crazy. I had to talk about something before anything I regretted happened.
"So…where to-" I was cut off as Raven yanked on my shirt, bringing my face closer to hers. My eyes widened slightly before she crashed her lips into mine.
I was shocked, but I couldn't let that keep me from kissing back. Her lips were intoxicating, soft, perfect. I gripped her hips a little tighter, pulling her in close. Her hands found their way behind my neck, tugging me closer than I already was. This conjured an almost animalistic growl from my chest, then I slid my tongue against her bottom lip, begging for permission.
She immediately obliged, parting her lips. Soon we were tangling tongues, the moment getting hotter than I could've imagined. All I could think about was how my body was reacting to her. I hadn't felt this way with anyone in a long time. Raven moaned, cutting off my thoughts, causing my tongue to work faster. She had managed to back me into the wall and without hesitation I hoisted her legs around my hips, my hands tightening on her waist.
Raven pulled away soon after that, gasping for breath. "Oh, my God."
"I know," I responded, gently putting her back on her feet, "that was amazing." She nodded in agreement. I watched as a blush quickly overtook her cheeks.
"I...um…I don't really know what to say," she said, giggling a little. God, she was gorgeous.
"How about we head out? Where do you wanna go?" I had just remembered we were going to make plans to go somewhere other than the club.
"Oh. Right. Would you accompany me to the graveyard? I need to think through some things." Well, that didn't sound like she was doubting what just happened at all. I knew I should've pulled away. I shouldn't have given in. No telling how she's feeling right now. I'm such an idiot.
"Yeah, of course," I said, plastering a smile on my face. I would go with her, even if she decided she didn't want to see me again after she's thought about everything. "Let's go." I slipped my arm around her shoulders and led her to the hearse.
