Part 7: Standing Still
Suggested Music Pairing: Please play the song on my CUE in this story, you can search it on YouTube ***
1) David Archuleta - To Be With You
2) Adele – Make You Feel My Love
CUE: Play recommended background music: David Archuleta - To Be With You
DAMIAN
Damian woke up forlornly. He got up, grabbed some coffee and walked aimlessly around the apartment and ended up back at the kitchen, leaning against the sink and looking dazed. It's been EIGHT days since he last saw Hannah, Damian realized. Not even a call was made between them. It used to be that a day would not pass without them calling each other, if only to share a joke one suddenly remembered, or if the other saw something that cannot not be shared.
What happened, Damian?, he asked himself as he got some coffee.
"You are an idiot.", a voice interrupted his thoughts. Damian looked up and saw Cameron shuffling inside the kitchen.
"Huh?", he asked in confusion. "What do you mean I'm an idiot?"
"I mean, what's the deal with giving Hannah the cold shoulder?", Cameron pointed out. "Had she done anything to you?" He got some cereal and milk and poured himself a bowl. "Last time I recall, liking someone isn't a crime."
Damian kept silent. I know, he thought. "Well, she's not talking to me too.", he reasoned out.
Cameron pushed his glasses up his nose and looked at Damian seriously. "You really do not get girls, do you?" He shoved a spoonful of cereal in his mouth and spoke again.
"Hannah feels so conscious about you finding out her secret. And to add, I dunno, insult, injury or whatever, the poor girl has the entire Los Angeles or the whole world listening on to it. Have you seen her twitter account recently?"
"No." Damian took a sip of his coffee. "Am I absolutely supposed to?"
Cameron pointed his spoon at him. "Damian, we are best friends, the three of us. Do you think you ignoring Hannah is the best reaction over the revelation?"
Damian placed his coffee mug on the counter and raised his hands defensively. "I don't know, Cam! I don't know!". He started biting his finger nails again. "I'm so… confused….", Damian said quietly.
"Hold on!" Cameron squinted his eyes narrowly at Damian. "What are you so confused about, huh? Was that whole 'I pick Hannah because I love her but she does not know I exist' line aired last Sunday during Believability episode had some truth to it buddy? Huh?"
Damian crossed his arms across his chest and looked up the ceiling and rubbed his arms as if he was suddenly cold. "I just… just don't know. I've just a lot on my mind, with Jenna not being really available to talk, you know.."
"Don't bring Jenna in on this conversation Damian, because you and I both know that this is Hannah who we are talking about. Not just your friend, but my friend." He said matter-of-factly.
"I will not let her wallow and pity herself. I just refuse to see her be like that. Including you, mate. If you will not do something about this, I will." Cameron straightened his back and started ticking on his fingers. "I'm going to OUR friend and cheer her up, comfort her, make her feel at ease even if I think, and I have Lindsay backing me up here, that it's you who is overreacting."
"Alright, alright!", Damian waves his arms up defensively. "The thing is….", he paused. "I liked Hannah, too."
Cameron's eyes narrowed again. "Liked?" He stirred his cereal and looked up at Damian again. "Or like?"
"That's where the confusion comes in.", he said forlornly.
"Dude, you are in a deep shit." Cameron smiled and sat down again.
Damian tried to process everything he is feeling. This is just so not me, he realized. "The thing is, I really liked Hannah while at Glee Project, but she shot me down you know."
"Shot you down?", Cameron asked with cereal in his mouth.
"Well, yea, I did say love her.. well just really liked her.. and said.. well I don't exist to her."
"And?"
"Well, you know.. she and Lindsay…" Damian's voice struggled to explain. "She said to Lindsay it was… true."
Cameron stood up grabbed the magazine by the counter and hit Damian in the head.
"Ow!", Damian said, rubbing the side of his head. "What the fuck was that for lad?"
"That was a joke.. an excuse!", he exclaimed. Cameron finished the rest of cereal and washed his dishes while Damian stood in silence. Before leaving the kitchen, his friend faced him again. "You better make this right. If you feel that you do not have romantic feelings anymore for Hannah, and would like to continue on with your relationship with Jenna, you set this straight and you make her feel at ease."
Damian was left alone in the kitchen thinking about Cameron's words. That nerd of a friend knew women well, and obviously, he doesn't. "Is Cameron making me choose between Hannah and Jenna?", Damian said incredulously.
"No!", shouted Cameron from the hallway. "I could still hear you, you oaf!"
"Then what?" Damian called out.
"What I'm saying is you gotta figure out what you want!"
"Isnt that the same?"
Damian was answered with a bang on the front door. Cameron had left to go to Hannah and Lindsay's.
"Bleh!", Damian said.
I need to talk to Jenna, he realized. If only to remind myself why I love her and why we got back together. The thought does not make sense, but in this madness, Damian thinks it's the best option at the moment, to help clear his head. He rushed to his room to grab his mobile and checked the time. It was past ten in the morning in Los Angeles, so it's past six in the evening in Derry. Damian quickly dialed Jenna's number and waited. One ring, two rings, three.. four.. five and then..
"Hello babe?", Jenna answered. He could hear the loud noise in the background.
"Jenna?", he called out.
A loud whoop came up. "You have to speak louder babe, I'm in a wee bit of a hooley now at the boozer!", she shouted.
"What?", Damian was straining to understand his girlfriend.
"Some gobdraw's acting wee langered and making a holy show! Talk to you later babe, I love you!", and Jenna hung up.
Some school work huh, he thought sadly.
Looking up, his eyes fell on another photo of himself with Hannah. He misses her smiling face, the way she makes her laugh, the way Hannah inspires her to follow his dream. Her support. Her …. Love. Her big love.
CUE: Play recommended background music: Adele – Make You Feel My Love
HANNAH
Hannah was inside her room and not attempting to get up. She knows she has to go check some acting classes today but she does not have the drive. For the first time in her life, she cared about how a guy reacts to finding out her feelings for him. She feels wretched.
It's been eight days since she saw or talked to Damian. It used to be that they were always in communication every single day, whether through phone calls over anything silly, or an SMS over a trivia, or could be a quick skype call at night about random things that happened over the day.
She misses her best friend.
Never mind that the feelings are not reciprocated, but to lose Damian just because he felt awkward over Hannah's revelation feels so wrong. Above anything else, she values their friendship more than her romantic feelings for him. A tear escaped her eye again, and she brushed it away. I'd be wee content with what we have, rather to have none at all with him, she declared.
The last time she saw him was when Hannah dropped Damian off at his apartment. Prior to that, he was silent the whole ride home. If not for Cameron's constant chat and jokes, the hour long drive from Hermosa beach would have been torture. Hannah reflected on how one single statement changed their friendship in one snap.
Hannah heard a buzz and knew there was someone at apartment's door. Lindsay would for sure get it since she heard her up and about earlier. Moments later, there was a knock at her room.
"Hannah?", it was Lindsay. "I'm off to meet Samuel for lunch. There's still some Café Gratitude stuff in the fridge if you get hungry…"
"Okay, thanks Linds."
"Uh, Hannah?"
"Yeah?"
"Cam's here."
Hannah fell silent.
"Can I come in?", Cameron's voice asked.
Hannah wiped her face of any tearstains and sat up her bed. "Yeah, sure.", she answered.
The door opened. Cameron came in bringing some Mickey-D's for breakfast. "'Sup girl…"
Hannah's face lit up. "Aww Cam, you shouldn't have."
Cameron pulled a chair near her bed and set the food down. "Got you your favorite cappuccino too."
"Thank you." Hannah hugged him.
Hannah had a feeling that Cameron was not in their apartment for a social visit. "So, why are you here?"
"How are you?"
"I'm good." She sipped her coffee and placed it down on the chair.
Cameron laid down her bed. "You are a terrible actress, Hannah." He faced her. "That is why you did not make it to Glee Project."
"Cameron!" Hannah laughed.
"Seriously, how are you?"
"Just cruisin'…." She replied. "So, how's.." and her voice trailed off.
"Damian?", he continued. "He's good. In the same shit as you."
Hannah's hands flew to cover her face. "I made such a mess, Cameron!"
"You did not, Damian's just overreacting."
"I never meant for it to be aired, I was not thinking straight."
"Hannah, you are perfect the way you are. You are sassy, beautiful and just pure sunshine." Cameron stretched on her bed. "So quit wallowing, and if Damian's acting like a git, then move on with life. Act as if nothing happened."
"I don't want to lose our friendship…"
"Trust me. You won't lose it, or will it ever get lost." He got out of bed and stood up. "Just give Damian time to soak it all in."
"It feels like he had shut me off. Sometimes I regret even saying those things on the confessional. I was fine the way I am, Cam." A tear escaped again. She brushed it away and continued talking. "This is the only time I really, well, you know, cared that much about someone."
Cameron looked at her. "You are just human, Hannah."
"Well, yeah.. " Hannah looked up at Cameron. "What do I do now?"
"Nothing. Just act normal. The more you do this… this…" Cameron pointed around her room. "… this hibernation does not suit Koala bears!" With that, he opened her blinds and the window. "Get out of bed, c'mon. Go to that acting studio you want to check out."
Hannah laughed. "Okay, fine. Can I eat this wonderful breakfast first?"
"Of course. But you have to promise me that you will drop me off at the Grove on your way to the studio.", Cameron smiled.
"I knew there had to be something that comes with this!" Hannah smiled. "Thanks Cam, you are a great friend."
Cameron got a pillow beside Hannah and whacked her in the head.
"Hey!", she laughed. "What was that for?"
"Just to get wake you up.", he grinned like a kid.
"I'm already a wake, jeez!"
"I know, I just wanted to make sure!". Both of them laughed.
As Hannah ate hear breakfast and Cameron tinkered with the yukele given by a fan, Hannah was glad he talked to her about Damian. It's not use wallowing, he's right., she thought. I have a life to live. I am my own person. I have dreams, and I have got to follow through with actions. With or without Damian, I have myself to take care of everyday.
That morning, after dropping Cameron at the Grove, and heading down West Hollywood, Taylor Swift's song played on the radio. Hannah realized it was the perfect song for her, and it had the perfect line.
Long live all the mountains we moved. I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you, Hannah sang. It summed her life at the Glee Project, her life there with Damian while inside the competition. Tomorrow is another day, she thought. Hannah took a deep breath. Whether Damian continues to ignore her or decide to go back the way it is as friends, I will live my life.
Hello all!
Thank you for all of your reviews. : ) Juicy chapters coming up, and I myself can't wait to get to the twist of this story! I hope most of you take in the suggested background music while reading certain parts of the chapters, I feel it helps bring out the emotion and completely enhances the reading experience.
I'm sorry for the delay in uploading, real life has to come first, you know, and I
will be moving to another country soon so there's things to prepare for at the moment.
Spread the love everyone, and just believe.
Cheers from Manila, Philippines
Biscuit20
