On Hold by Castlefan6

Authors Note: Thisis my AU version of events as the end of Season 2 was played out. Kate takes the initiative to tell Castle what she wants, is she too late? NO Doctor MB, but some old characters, owned by both Marlowe and me will pay a visit in this story. This will have ANGST, but I think you will like the end result. I liked the TV Show, but several areas bothered me, treating Kate as the victim, she said NO, so the time limit doesn't matter, no guy is going to put his life on hold, waiting for and if the one he is interested in comes around. This will examine the summers of each and then well, read and find out.

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

Chapter 7

Previously

It's no wonder you have turned to lying, you can't even tell yourself the truth. You have no idea of just how bad you scarred him for any other woman who would love him without a thought.

What the Hell do you want in your life, or better yet When are you going to get past the age of 19 Kate? I'm your friend, I love you, but at this very instance I am so pissed off, and disappointed in you I could spit fire." Maddie grabs her coat and slams the door behind her as she walks out.

Hamptons Beach House

Saturday 7:30 AM

Gina has been awake for almost an hour, and quietly made coffee, and slipped onto the upstairs deck as she watched the sun rise over the water. Her mind is flooded with so many memories, the day they met, not as his publisher but as a friend that few people knew of, the first time she came here, the first time they made love, the quiet times they just stole away for a weekend when the world got to heavy for either of them.

Flashback College- Gina Sophomore Year

Not many were aware that Gina had been an emotional wreck when she first met Rick, she had just lost her mother to a catastrophic illness during her sophomore year of college and then a long-time relationship with her high school sweetheart had dissolved, a victim of her dedication to her mother's final days.

Rick was so patient and loving with her, having recently losing his college sweetheart, Kyra Blaine so he was so comforting, without being pushy or threatening. They were best friends for over a year till he graduated, and she eventually lost touch.

Then came that fateful day when she became the editor for the hot new writer Rick Castle, never knowing it was the same Rick Rogers she had grown so close to in college, and the friendship was re-kindled once again. This time it wasn't a College Sweetheart she had to nurse him through, it was his first wife who left him three years earlier for a director along with their 3-month-old daughter. They both fought the attraction but after almost four years, it was useless, and they married the following spring.

Gina is jolted back to current day when she feels his arm slip gently around her, just like he knew what she was thinking. He had slipped out of bed and just knew what she needed, as he always had.

"You still miss her, I know, but you've come so far since the day we met" Rick smiles

"Yeah, thanks to you, I don't know what I would have done, without you there constantly to lean on, I know I was a mess, first with Mom and all she had to go through, then with Chris, collapsing on me and leaving, I almost did lose it."

"You lost the two people you loved more than anything on this earth, you were entitled to be off your game." Rick says quietly

"With Mom, I knew there was a day coming no matter what I did that she would be gone, but Chris, we had been a couple since 9th grade, there had never been anyone else, I thought there never would be," she says quietly as the tears pool in her eyes

"I know he hurt you badly Gina, and I am sorry that you had to feel that heart ache, I would have made it go away if I could, you know that, right?"

"Rick, your heart was bleeding just as bad if not worse, than mine, you had to watch Kyra leave, at least Chris left me a letter, and I didn't have to see him actually walk away for the last time. Then years later you have to solve a crime at her wedding, my God Rick, how hard that had to be," she smiles at him through tears coming slowly out of her beautiful eyes.

"I never told you Gina, but I was always jealous of Chris, I only saw him once, but I know you still have your forever box from him." Gina blushes but it's true, movie tickets torn in half, old faded pictures, his class ring, and silly mementos are all packed away safely as if he just left yesterday.

"I loved you Rick, sure, Chris is my first love and I can never change that, but when I met you, well when we were reunited, I knew that it was more than just comfort you provided me back then, I'm just sorry I didn't recognize it then."

"Gina, you coming off your loss and let's face it Kyra owned my heart, even when I married Meredith, that's awful to say now, but I really didn't get over her till you and I were married, the timing wasn't right." Rick says quietly as he slips behind her and wraps his arms around her waist, pulling her gently into him.

Rick was always there with his arms open for her, her comfort zone no matter what the problem was. How could she have messed this up? As a tear trickles down her cheek, she feels him there, to kiss away her tears, and hold her, like only he could do.

"How do you do that Rick, know what I need the moment I need it and just appear?" She asks through her tears.

"I woke to cold sheets, I knew you would be out here, remember when we were married what you called this?" Rick smiles

"Patio of Peace" they repeat together,

"You always came here when I made you angry, or hurt you, and looking back now I can see I did so many times I was just an ass, Gina, I am so sorry I would take it all back if I could."

Gina looks up to him through eyes full of tears, smiles sadly, "I know you would Rick, I caused just as many of those arguments as you did, through it all, I never stopped loving you for a minute."

Rick looked at her in surprise, and Gina picked up on it right away,

"You're wondering about why I kept pushing knowing that I was on your last nerve aren't you? Rick, I wanted to be part of your life so desperately I made the mistake of pushing, now I know all I needed to do was ask and you would have given me the moon."

"I listened to someone about how to make you want me more, to be assertive and take what I thought I deserved. Then I was too fucking stupid to tell you about my pathetic scheme, and it mushroomed from there.

"If there was one day of our marriage I would do over, it would be that day, where I know I put the first dent in the armor you had us protected from the world in, all the precautions, all of the steps you took to keep the world outside, and I blew it. Rick, I'm so sorry." Gina is crying harder now as Rick tries to console her.

Rick lifts her face gently, looking deep into her eyes, he gently wipes away the tear from one eye, then the other, then gently kisses each. She can't help it, she pulls his face in for a sweet passionate kiss, trying to say I'm sorry, Thank You, I want You, and Don't ever Leave me with one physical gesture. She is surprised when he actually takes control and deepens the kiss, not the hot get in the bed now, but sweetly and passionately, saying I love you too with just a kiss.

"Gina, please don't take this the wrong way, but I have to ask," Rick pauses as Gina tenses,

"When we were married you used to love to walk on the beach at this time, do you still want to, with this big Ass who was so stupid and insensitive then. I remember all the days I let you do it by yourself. That was wrong, that was the US time you were asking for and I was too selfish to realize it, so I am sorry, so sorry."

"Richard Castle, I should kill you," Gina is trying to laugh through her tears, "You scared me to death, and yes I would love to have your arm as we walk, if you still want to."

Rick walks over, dries Gina's tears, and grabs each a bottle of water from the fridge, "Shall we?" He bows to her and they begin another beautiful morning walk, stopping to pick up shells, and from time to time, for a kiss, there were a lot of great memories in the marriage, many of them made on this very beach.

Beckett's Apartment

Saturday 5:15 AM

Kate is still tossing and turning after Maddie had stormed out last evening, well earlier this morning technically, her words still rang in her ears, haunting her, especially the comment "What the Hell do you want in your life, or better yet When are you going to get past the age of 19 Kate?"

She hadn't used her Mom's tragic death to justify her crappy behavior, or had she? She hadn't had a steady relationship to speak of since her freshman year of college, when she caught her boyfriend with her best friend, she had forgiven Maddie, but Bob was gone, never to be seen again.

Maybe it was Maddie's blatant confession of wanting to sleep with Rick, that had her upset, but why, she wasn't with him, so why should she care? If she were a true friend, she would wish Maddie the best, since she knew what a terrific catch Rick would be, Wait, what did she just think?

Thinking back, she wasn't this upset even when she had caught Maddie with her boyfriend Bob in college, why did the thought of her with Castle drive her up a wall? Could it be that she had been trying to hide her feelings to keep from getting hurt, blaming the case or anything else to keep an arm's distance from Rick and a chance at happiness.

One thing had come out of this mess, she now knew that if she were to ever have any hope of any kind of relationship with Rick, friend or other, she HAD to stop the lies that just seemed to sneak out. Maddie was right they had started after she lost her Mom, rather than face confrontation, it was easier to lie and then hope for the best.

Just as she is about to get a cup of coffee, her phone chirps with a text,

"Becks, I'm sorry, I was rough on you but we need to talk if you want Rick back, and Please stop the lies, they hurt all of us who love you, text me if you can talk or forgive me, again I'm sorry, but I do care for you like a Sister"

Kate thinks for a moment contemplating ignoring her request, then thinks that's exactly the kind of behavior that has gotten you in this mess. Grabbing her phone, she replies,

"Maddie, I understand, give me an hour to shower and throw on some clothes, then maybe we could grab a coffee, see you in an hour, Oh, I love you like a sister too, Kb

After a quick shower and blow dry of her hair, God her eyes had such bags under them, slap some concealer on, and there was the knock on the door.

"Hey Becks, I'm sorry, I just want to help you and I can't do it when you aren't truthful with yourself first and all others next. I spent 3 years in therapy learning that."

"I'm sorry Maddie, when were you in therapy? You were always so happy in school, got all the guys, what the heck would you need to see a shrink about?"

"Remember when you caught Bobby and I under the bleachers, he was cheating on you and I was supposed to be your friend, and*"
"Yeah Maddie, I don't need a refresher of you taking my boyfriend away or the details, I was so hurt at you, it took a long while to forgive you."

"That's my point Becks, you were hurt, it took time, BUT you forgave me, why?"

"Because you owned up to how long it was going on and just what a cheating scum bag he was, he lied, OH My GOD" as the words fall out of her mouth, she finally realizes that Rick's reaction to her lie, was eerily similar to the one she had in college.

"Becks, you kicked his ass to the curb, and never gave him the opportunity to explain, Why? And Why would you let me back into your life after hurting you so? You never asked me the question I had hoped you would all those years ago."

"Maddie you were my best friend, I was deeply hurt that you would betray me, but he wasn't worth losing our friendship over. What question should I have asked?"

"The most obvious one, "WHY", you asked him over and over again, but you never asked me, why don't you ask me now."

"OK Maddie, not sure where you are going with this but WHY would you cheat with Bob, knowing he was my boyfriend?"

"Because I wanted you to catch him in the act with me, he was cheating with Maria, and Gayle as well, but if I told you, you would defend him, and he would deny it and eventually you would get hurt even more.

I'm sorry Becks, I tried to tell you, but you sentenced me to 5 months of no communication. I waited for you to understand that I would rather lose your friendship than see you the laughing stock on the campus. I made it so easy for you to find us, it was a setup.

Think now Kate, what hurt more, his infidelity or all the lies he told trying to cover it?"

"God, you're right Maddie, I would have forgiven him if it was one time, hell every guy wanted to sleep with you, but the lies, one after the other just destroyed any hope."

"What do you think Rick felt, especially after his divorce from Meredith because of lies and cheating on her part?"

"Wow, I see what you mean, wait, how do you know that Meredith cheated on him, and lied was the reason that caused his divorce?"

"I asked him Becks, I wanted him so badly, and you were busy with the Dete**"

"OK, OK, I see but I still can't figure out why he turned you down," Kate doesn't want to hear about all the things her best friend wanted to do to the man she loved.

"Becks one simple reason, I wasn't you, as he said the heart wants what the heart wants. My therapist said that's why I'm attracted to so many different guys, I don't want to face the fact that I'm early 30's and still missing what I wanted all my life, a husband and kids. I know shocker, uh, Maddie wanting kids," as tears come to her eyes.

"I dated the last guy for almost 4 years, the moment kids were brought up we were history within the month, guess I'll just have to live with what I have."

"So, you wanted Rick because he had a kid, was kind, good looking, and could make your ideal life come true, but what about love Maddie, where does that fit in?"

"Becks, who couldn't learn to love him, come on, get real. Right now, we have to go back over all this murder board and come up with some way to explain to Rick, WHY things happened.

Kate, I need your vow, No More Lies, one more I swear and I am out of here, I love you but I can't take them, it's no wonder you chased him away."

Hampton's Beach House

Saturday 6:00 PM

After spending the entire day strolling on the beach, playing in the pool, well some playing, then taking a nap together and doing whatever came naturally both were starving. Rick had called for reservations at the Club House and was totally relaxed holding Gina's hand to and from the car.

"Good Evening Mr. Castle, Ms. Cowell, it's so good to see you again, the manager of the restaurant greeted them. I have your private table in the back sir, I hope that is satisfactory."

Gina, not known to be the most pleasant to Restaurant help took the lead, "Thank you so very much, Maurice", as she slipped him a large bill.

He accepted the bill and the look of shock mirrored that of Rick's expression. "I know I can be difficult at times, but I am working on that issue."

Maurice smiles as he holds her chair, "Certainly Ms. Cowell, we all have those days, I'm glad you are in such a good mood tonight."

"Rick, I am aware of the Bitch that I am labeled as at many places, that stops tonight, please be patient with me Luv, I need you to check me on that kind of crap. I never want to be an embarrassment to you,"

"Gina, you are never an embarrassment to me, don't you think I know why you act the way you do when you do those things, it's usually because I hurt you, and I'm sorry, that also ends tonight."

"Now let's enjoy the dinner, and I have a feeling you are going to have to buy a paper tomorrow" as Rick notices the paparazzi snapping away at the edge of the room.

Gina gets that evil grin on her face, then Rick smiles, no words needed, all that is said is "You want to?" "Sure" and then they stand and put on a show kissing forever staring into each other's eyes, like they were the only two people on the planet, then Rick pulls her into a deep embrace and kisses her till both are screaming for breath, as she caresses the back of his hair. Somewhere during this, the acting stopped, and the actions became real.

A/N Stopping here, Comments Reviews, Follows and Favorites always welcomed, Tim