The Ship That Shouldn't Have Sunk Part Seven

Three of the four humans sat in the dark dank library, Rose studying an ancient tome while John and Dave sat looking over their old chat room accounts. On their Chumroll lists were fifteen names apiece, and on both accounts were six grayed out names. Seemed oddly fitting, that as a last service to the dead the program would close the specific accounts for them. The program must have been baffled with Aradia's unusual come and go, however.

carcinoGeneticist.

Ugh, why did that name have so much relevance in his life?

Before John really knew Karkat, he was just a troll. Back then, a troll was the kind of person who spent his time laying around in his parents' basement scrolling down Minecraft forums. Now, it was a whole species!

This particular idea was far too complex for John, but he was unduly excited over it nonetheless.

But then, they had their "first conversation" and Karkat tried to make those romantic advances on him…and John could swear he felt his world falling to pieces.

John was very attracted to Karkat, the way his hair mussed up so easily, the way he would pap Gamzee's face with his smooth soft hands, how his voice cracked as he called Dave a fuckass while he pissed on Lalondes' clip board. Though, that last memory was one best left forgotten for all those involved; Rose was still washing the red fluid from her hood.

However, with every single fucking relationship (or potential one) in this shitty game, there were problems, big problems. Karkat spoke of a hate relationship, about hate dates and hurting each other. John just loved Karkat too much to physically hurt him in any way.

But that wasn't even the big issue, he hated to reflect on it; but he couldn't lie to himself anymore.

John could not possibly be a homosexual!

A few years back, before Sburb, John's dad once tried to give him the sex talk. The conversation that was going to be a father-son growing up talk rapidly disintegrated into Dad angrily ranting about homosexuals.

"You see John, homosexuals are dirty. They will lie to you to get exactly what they want. And after they've gotten that, they are going to leave you; leave you alone in your house with an adopted son who has no real mom because she never came back from getting milk!"

A little while after that conversation, Dad started hanging around with that nicely dressed liquor store lady. John didn't think that she really worked there, but she certainly did hang out around there allot.

John didn't want to disappoint his dad by loving another man, even though his father was dead and gone.

"Hey bro, what's with the sad face?" Dave asked from beside him.

"Ughh, Dave, I just don't know what to think right now."

"Karkat giving you shit again?"

Damn it! Why did Dave always have to be so intuitive? "Kinda…"

"Do you need me to straighten him out? Have a little, bro on bro conversation?" Dave offered, his cool kid gaze forever concealed behind his super awesome aviators.

"Derp! Derp!" John laughed, "no, not that kind of problem. I wish it would be as easy to solve as that… To be honest with you Dave, I'm not sure about how I feel about him."

"Thank god, I was beginning to wonder if I was the only one here who thought he was a creepy little fucker."

"No, no! Not like that," John sighed. "It's just like, when we first met and he tried that confusing hate-date offer, I didn't think I felt the same. I know I don't hate him, but I can't deny my attraction to him any longer…" John lowered his head into his hands, staring at the floor through his clenched fingers.

Dave grew silent and still, "So the tensions too much for you?"

"Kinda," John sighed. "I hate how I want to tell him, I want to tell him so badly… but I just can't Dave! If only my Dad knew how I feel right now, I would never be able to leave the house again."

"Your Dad has a problem with you dating a grey skinned minority?"

"It's not that simple Dave," John cried into his palms. "My Dad is against homosexuality, he told me that he turned to it after my mom left, and I guess that it messed him up really bad. That night he talked to me about it was the first time I had ever seen him cry."

Dave nodded; he seemed to be thinking deeply. The two best friends sat in silence for several minutes. "So?" his reply finally came. It was uttered so low and quiet that John could barely tell it was a question. "So, what?"

"I think I love him Dave, he never leaves my mind; and it terrifies me that my Dad wouldn't like the boy I want."

"John, I'm not sure if you realized this, but your Dad is dead." Dave regarded with a deadpan expression. "He's gone, and he's never coming back."

"B-but Dave, it would make him so sad to see me as a homosexual."

"No," Dave caught Johns chin with his index and middle finger. "I think he would be the most sad to see you unhappy because you won't confess your feelings to some douchebag."

John caught Dave's hand with his own and held it to the spot. "You really think so?"

"I know so, John. Anyone who loves their kid enough to raise them usually give a damn about their happiness."

"Oh, Dave" mumbled John.

"Oh, John" Dave said, whispering in a husky voice. He began to draw closer to the man parallel to him, tilting his head the slightest bit so their noses wouldn't collide in their passionate kiss.

That kiss was doomed to never come to fruition.

"Your right, Dave!" John yelled, jumping up and nearly knocking over Dave with him.

"Uh, what?"

"I have to go tell Karkat my feelings! I'll see you later!" John took off, leaving a bewildered Dave in his wake.

As the door slammed shut behind him, Dave cast his dejected eyes to the shitty flooring. He sighed.

"I'll get him next time." He whispered as he went to go find the lotion and tissues.