Sidenote: You can thank a certain "Lyn" for this chapter. I didn't have any plans to give Meiko a significant role in the story but their review on the previous chapter made me reconsider. :D


CHAPTER 7: The Break

Soon, everyone said their goodbyes, and the Vocaloids scattered across Japan. Len, Rin and Miku stayed in the city for one more day under the supervision of Sammy who volunteered to keep an eye out for the kids (to the displeasure of Rin who didn't exactly feel the need to be supervised). In the next morning, the Kagamine parents arrived, stuffed the twins in their car after an appropriate amount of time of laughing and hugging, and left.

Kaito and Luka, on the other hand, had already sat on a train to Tokyo on the previous day, along with a few other crew members heading in that direction. The blue boy seemed kind of absent-minded, but Luka was beaming and appeared pretty excited to leave the Vocaloid madness behind for some time.

As for Meiko, she and her girlfriend spent the first five days of the general holiday mostly at Naomi's place, finally enjoying each other's company without the need of hiding their relationship from anyone -and they actually grew confident about stopping hiding it whatsoever during that time. They were both returning to work on the following Tuesday -the crew had to start working on a few new performance arrangements, such as new choreographies, costumes, and all the small details that had to be perfected before the new songs would be presented to common people. The management wanted them to have these chores finished by the end of the year so that the performers could then start practising immediately.

When Meiko, Naomi and a small group of their friends from the crew arrived in the studio -a small compound complete with bedrooms, bathrooms and a kitchen so that they wouldn't have to leave at all for the entire time they were working -Miku was already there. Apparently she asked the guys in the management to book her room in a hotel nearby for the few days before the studio and conjoined quarters were available. This ultimately meant that she had spent the last five days on her own, which would perhaps explain her enthusiasm when she met with Meiko and others.

While she too was happy to see her, the woman thought it was strange for Miku to be left alone for all that time, something that probably didn't occur to the management. That and the way she avoided any kind of discussion related to her family made Meiko think there was something dark hiding behind Miku's smile. But she didn't want to worry too much, knowing that she might just be pessimistic. Perhaps all those things had a simple explanation.

Besides, Miku made her worry in a completely different way right on the first evening in the studio. The crew that assembled there consisted of seven people: three women, including herself, and four guys -and Miku as the eighth person among them. While they were all relatively young, there was still at least a six year difference between every one of them and the turqoise singer. That meant that the star was suddenly hanging out with a bunch of happy-go-lucky young adults with a partying attitude.

In the evening, they all gathered in the conference room, more for the convenience of it than anything else -it was close to their quarters as well as the courtyard which was suitable for the smokers among them. While Miku usually prefered to keep a low profile, she was there with them right from the moment the first bottle has been opened. She, quite uncharacteristically for her, immediately drank, talked and laughed with everyone else like there was no tomorrow. And yet again, this sudden change left Meiko perplexed: she didn't know if the girl was just that joyous to be around people again, or whether she was desperately trying to... well, feel happy. Or, in other words, forget about something else that might have been on her mind.

In any case, the woman didn't like the pace at which the evening was flying by, and was seriously considering sending Miku back to her quarters before something would go wrong. Being respectful of her colleague thus far, though, she decided to just wait for the time being and maybe try to keep her own head clear in case her help was needed.

"Lemme tell you," the girl said to her several shots later, swaying softly on place; "you have no idea how much I've missed being around people!"

"Yeah," Meiko replied. "But I still don't know why you stayed behind all on your own."

"Neither do I!" Miku chuckled. "Seriously, I don't know what I was thinking."

"Well, whatever your reason was, I'm glad you're able to forget about it tonight. Just..."

The girl blinked. "Just what?"

"Just don't overdo it, okay? You're not used to drinking, and you're... well, you're really skinny."

"Should I take that as a compliment?" Miku smiled amusedly. "You shouldn't flirt with me, your girlfriend is sitting right next to you."

Meiko frowned. "Who told you?"

"Rin! But, like, don't tell her that I told you that you- that she- fuck," she laughed, staggered, and continued slowly. "Don't tell her... that I told you... that she told... mmmme."

"Miku, how about you take a walk outside for a while?" she suggested. "We've been here for less than thirty minutes, and you've had way too many shots. You know I'm right about this."

"...yeah. I mean," she raised her voice, "I don't f-f-feel drunk. I'm just spinning. I still know what I'm doing."

"Precisely. That's a good time to stop. At least for now, while you still listen to me." This time, they both laughed.

"You probably have more experience with drinking than me, don't you?" Miku asked.

"Don't be surprised, I have a few years' advantage."

"Hm. Fine, I'm gonna trust you," the girl said and walked not really straight to the door. "Don't drink everything while I'm gone!"

"Hey, Mei," Reaper spoke up. Reaper was a pale sound engineer who acquired his nickname for his preference in black clothing and grim conversation topics; he was sitting on a chair next to an open window casually smoking an e-cigarette. "Looks like Miku's gonna get in trouble if she continues like this."

"I'd rather not let her," Meiko replied. Naomi made advantage of the singer's departure and laid her head on the woman's shoulder. "But we've all been there, haven't we? Remember Luka's birthday?"

"I hardly do," Reaper said with just a hint of a smile. "I'm just saying, it's kinda weird to see... my boss, basically, wasted."

"Well, 'boss' might be kind of a stretch. I'd say she's on the same level as the rest of us, but with a bigger salary."

Naomi giggled. "By the way, aren't you at least a little envious sometimes? You get the least attention of them all."

"Nah, I don't need attention."

"Says the one who shows the most boobs on stage," Reaper mumbled jokingly.

"I have the most boobs on stage!" Meiko retorted with an impish smile. "Do you have any idea how many guys do they drag to the show?"

"Too bad none of them are gonna get some," said Naomi and hugged her. "You're all mine!"

This thing went on for a while, and Meiko felt at home. She was honest; she didn't crave attention. This, however, this was the most amazing part of it all: getting to hang out with a group of the most amazing friends all the time. All of them were, in one way or another, contributing to the madness that got them all together in the first place, and that was an amazing experience to share.

Naomi and Reaper were merely two of the whole bunch of awesome people Meiko likely wouldn't have met if the Vocaloids didn't exist -or if she was the star of the show, spending most of her time with the other singers rather than around the guys backstage. It wasn't a bad thing, and everyone was nice to each other; but there still was some kind of invisible barrier dividing the performers and "the others", and it was understandable. Both of these groups lived in their own separate worlds. Frankly, the only reason she was seen on the stage occasionally was that she was a good singer and already had some kind of minor popularity before the Vocaloids were even a thing.

It wasn't until two more rounds of shots have been passed around that she realised Miku has been gone for quite some time.

"Honey," she said to Naomi; "I should go look for Miku. Wanna come with me?"

"Sure."

They stood up, walked out the door and through the short corridor leading to the courtyard. There, they looked into the dark and cold night. The courtyard was surrounded by walls from three sides; to the right was a high wire fence behind which was a small parking lot, currently containing two cars, followed by yet another wire fence. Miku was nowhere to be seen.

"Do you think she came back to her room?" Naomi asked and lit a cigarette.

Meiko followed her example. "Probably. The exit should be locked for the night, and the studio as well."

"That wouldn't really stop Rin if she was here."

"Nope, and thank God she isn't."

They chuckled.

"Seriously though," said Naomi; "I think you worry too much about her."

"Who, Rin?" Meiko blew out a small cloud of smoke.

"Miku, you silly. She's having a good time, isn't she?"

"I guess. But, I don't know... Something doesn't feel right to me."

"See? You're always doing this." Her girlfriend frowned. "Sometimes things are just things. Everything doesn't have to be complicated."

Meiko sighed. "I really wish to believe that."

"You know, when I met you, I thought you were just a crazy gal who doesn't worry about anything. What changed?"

"What changed was, we've seen each other naked since then."

Naomi giggled. "Come on, seriously!"

"I am serious!" Meiko gave her a kiss. "I don't share my problems with people who aren't close to me. When I dare to worry around you, it's because I'm comfortable with you."

"So basically all it takes for you to get close to someone is to sleep with them?" her girlfriend smirked.

"Apparently so," she laughed.

Naomi hugged her and pressed her lips against hers; she inhaled from her cigarette beforehand, so she now sent all the smoke directly to Meiko's mouth.

"You sneaky bitch," she said in reaction.

"You know," the girl purred into her ear provocatively; "I think we may have grown... kinda distant lately."

"Mmm. Wanna do something about that?" Meiko understood her suggestion. "Can it wait until we're done smoking?"

Then, she heard it. It was almost more of a feeling than an actual sound, just in the corner of her ear. Someone was sobbing nearby.

"Shh. You hear that?" she asked Naomi quietly.

"What?"

The women listened. For two seconds, there was nothing -and then, a sniff.

"Sounds like it's coming from the parking lot." All of her thoughts about Miku came back, and Meiko almost felt guilty for forgetting about her for a little while. "You think that's Miku?"

"I dunno," said Naomi. "You should check it out. If it's Miku, she's probably more likely to talk to you alone."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah! Bros before hoes, right?" she smiled, stubbed out her cigarette and gave her a peck on the cheek. "I'll wait inside."

"Love you!" Meiko smiled, but her expression came back to a worried one as soon as her girlfriend disappeared in the building. She stomped on her own cigarette and walked to the parking lot.

She didn't have to look too hard. Miku was in the back, sitting on the ground and hugging her knees with her back against the front door of Reaper's Toyota. She didn't even lift her head when Meiko showed up.

"Hey," the woman said.

"Go away," Miku mumbled without the slightest movement. "Please."

"No way." Meiko stepped closer. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing, go away!" the girl repeated a bit louder. She ignored her and sat down next to her.

"Please-"

"Why do you care?" Miku retorted and sniffed again. "Noone ever cares..."

Meiko brought her arm around her shoulders and forced her to lean on her. Miku began to cry.

"I'm -I'm sorry," she told her between her sobs. "I'm s-such a mess..."

"No, you're not," Meiko comforted her. "Sweetie, why would you think noone cares about you?"

"I-I don't know. I'm just... s-scared."

"Of what?"

"That I-I'll be an... inconvenience... to all of you... a-and you will... hate me..." Miku's voice slowly dissolved into incoherent, tearful gibberish.

"Honey," Meiko said after a while of processing her friend's confession; "you're a cow, you know that?"

Against all odds, she managed to make the girl chuckle.

"I don't know what makes you think like this," she continued; "and if you don't wanna tell me, that's fine. But you should know that all of us love the absolute shit outta you."

Miku wiped her eyes with her sleeves. "I know I should know that, Mei. I just... sometimes can't believe it."

"Do you think I'd sit here with you right now if I didn't care about you?" Meiko asked. Her friend didn't have an answer to that. "See? And I guarantee you, if anyone else was here instead of me -Rin, Len, Kaito, Luka -they'd all do the same. We don't want you to be sad."

"I'm not sad," Miku whined. "I'm just... afraid. All the time, I expect to do something terrible... and..." Her lips shook. "I don't want to h-hurt anyone."

"I think you're just looking for excuses to hate yourself," Meiko said what was on her mind. "And I think that's bullshit. You're a kind, loving and lovable person who would never even think about hurting anyone."

"B-but what if-"

"No, no 'what ifs'. Look at me."

She pulled back a little, and the two girls looked into each other's eyes.

"Now listen: we love you, and we will always love you. And should you ever have any doubts about it, just come find me and I'll punch you in the face. And then I'll hug you, 'cause I love you. Do you understand?"

Miku smiled and burried her face in her shoulder again.

"Thank you," she said quietly when Meiko wrapped her arms around her. "I'll just... I'll trust you."

"Works for me," the woman sighed. "Wanna go back inside now? It's kinda cold."

"Yeah, sure."

They stood up and set off towards the house.

"By the way," Meiko said while they were walking; "you still haven't told me why you were here in the city all by yourself. Didn't you want to see your family?"

Miku looked away. "No, I didn't."

The way she said it convinced Meiko that it probably wasn't a good conversation topic for the time being. It wasn't unlikely that something inside Miku's family was the exact reason of her state of mind.

If Meiko was worried about her ten minutes ago, she was almost freaking out inside after that. There was definitely something wrong. Miku wasn't like this most of the time, or if she was, she kept it from everyone else. Perhaps she was the same as herself -she didn't want to bother all the people around her with her struggles. The problem with her was that she didn't believe anyone at all would care to hear it.

Meiko breathed out again. She made a mental note to ask Rin if she knew more about her problems on the next day. If anyone knew anything, it would be Miku's best friend.