It was the first time Lovino had seen Antonio cry.
He never saw him cry when his boss yelled at him, or when his country seemed hopeless; when Antonio himself seemed hopeless. But now, upon seeing these glistening tears, everything was different. It was as if Lovino was sucked into a completely different dimension where Antonio was someone that he cared about. He didn't know how he felt about it. It could have been pure anger. It could have been sorrow. Or he could just have the burden of guilt on his chest.
It was Lovino's fault they were in this mess anyways... They were always hiding now. At times, it seemed like they were just pretending to get along that way they could make it through another day. Lovino was starting to see it...Antonio's hatred for him. He knew that Antonio didn't think that Lovino was worth it anymore. He knew that as soon as they switched back to their normal bodies that things would be different. Antonio would go and leave Lovino, just like everyone else.
Lovino would be outcasted by everyone...Everyone but his stupid brother, but now that he and Ludwig were seeing each other, Lovino had no reason to go back to him. Feliciano didn't need him. His grandfather didn't need him. Why would Antonio need him? All Lovino ever did to him was beat him up, or throw him around; call him names, even. Lovino never thought twice about what he did to him.
How could he help it now, though?
The Spaniard had locked himself in a public restroom. Lovino stood outside the door, pacing back and forth with civilians staring at him, like he was some madman. He must have looked like hell, but he didn't actually care. Let the people stare, he told himself. They didn't matter.
But for some reason the Italian couldn't ignore those looks...The hatred that filled the eyes of the men and women surrounding him. What had he done to them?! Had he insulted them by walking into the joint? Did he stick his hand into the food they ate? He thought about it, but he didn't do it!
Gritting his teeth together, he paced more, listening to the sounds of pathetic sobbing coming from inside the bathroom.
"Antonio! Get your ass'a out here!" He shouted, causing more heads to turn and more eyes to stare. Lovino continued screaming, pounding his fist against the heavy wood of the door that blocked his path. He couldn't take the staring...But why? Things like this never bothered him before! Why?!
Was it because he wasn't himself? Was he angry because they were all staring at Antonio; Antonio's body? Was he pissed because they weren't giving those looks to him, but to the Spaniard?
"Stop'a looking at me!" Lovino spat, glaring at each and every peering eye in the room. He would fight back. He wasn't scared. Why should he be scared? He had absolutely nothing left to lose. He wouldn't ever back down.
"What?! Do you'a think this is a circus? Eat'a your damned food..." Spinning back around, he breathed out silently, beating on the door. The room filled with quiet whispers, not loud enough for Lovino to make out any of the words. But he knew what they were whispering about. He knew that they saw him as someone he wasn't. Screw them.
"Antoni-" The boy was startled as the door swung open and nearly hit him. Antonio emerged, keeping his head low so no one could see the wounds on his face. A broken nose... Blackened eyes. The man looked like hell. Everyone avoided looking at Antonio too. He knew why. They knew Lovi was part of the Mafia. They knew that he was evil. No one dared to speak in his direction. Little did they know that shell held a completely different soul.
Lovino chased after Antonio, not saying anything, even after they excited the small diner. He didn't know how to start a new conversation. He barely even knew how to breathe anymore. It was a wonder that the two of them were alive, but was it really worth it when Antonio wouldn't look at him?
"Idiota, stop." Lovino grabbed Antonio's arm and tried to get him to stop walking, but he only forced his arm away and continued on, not daring to look at the Italian. Lovino knew that he had done it...He hadn't ever see Antonio act like this towards him. He couldn't say that he didn't deserve it though.
"Antonio! Stop'a walking away!" He growled, picking up his pace to catch up with him.
"Lovi!" Antonio finally turned, his features filled with hurt. "Do you not understand? No comprende? You /hit/ me. You hurt me! I did everything I could to protect you from them. I would have given my life for you. But... You hit me..." He said weakly, feeling the tears appear again. Turning his head away from him, he brushed away the droplets falling down his cheeks, facing him again.
"You didn't care... Sure, you got me out...But did you actually care about me?"
Lovino stopped talking, his body freezing. Was Antonio actually asking him that question or was he just hearing things? Was he delusional?
"I...What...What are you'a talking about?" For once, Antonio had Lovino in a corner. Had it been all the years of torment he had put Antonio through that made Antonio believe what he was spurting out? Because Lovino knew that they were lies. He cared about Antonio! He really did! He just didn't know how to express it...
"I would never lay my hands upon you, Lovi." He hissed, a little growl leaving the part between his lips. Lovino took a step backwards, swallowing hard.
"I saved our asses! You wouldn't hit me so I'a took matters into my own hands." With a little huff, he turned away, not wanting to see those eyes. Antonio's eyes always burned a hole in the Italian's chest. Lovino would always feel weak whenever he would stare into them for too long.
"Well. I think we should split until one of us finds a cure." Antonio, without another word, turned on his heel and walked, leaving Lovino standing still, watching his back.
There walked away his body... There walked away his bestfriend.
There walked away his love.
Lovino tilted his head to the side, a million thoughts circling through his mind. Antonio was leaving him. Antonio was leaving him with Lovi's body! How would they ever find a cure for what was going on when they were split up? That just wasn't possible!
His feet picked themselves up, step-by-step, making their way towards the man who walked away from him. If he let Antonio walk away, he would be the only one to blame. He wouldn't let his little bit of happiness walk out of his life. Of course, he wasn't going to tell Antonio how he felt...But he figured he could show it once again.
Staggering up to him, he grabbed the side of his shirt and pulled the shorter body, his body, towards him, pressing their lips together tightly. This felt right. The way their skin melted into one-anothers, and the way their tongue's danced along the others' lips. Yes. It was perfect.
Upon releasing the Spaniard from his grasp, they exchanged looks. Lovino checked over Antonio's face, seeing the wound he had made. Antonio did the same to Lovino, but found his skin to be flawless besides a small scar on his right cheek. But that had been there for a long time.
"...What was that for?"
"Ti amo."
Antonio smiled and sighed, reaching out slowly to touch the Italian's cheek as he spoke those gentle words back, longing for the tips of his fingers to touch his skin. He wished it was actually Lovino's face...But they couldn't get everything they asked for. Letting his hand meet the cheek, his eyes widened as his entire arm was pushed through the man's skull, as if he were a hologram or an illusion. Blinking in confusion, Antonio retracted his hand and tried it again, getting the same result.
"L-Lovi...I can't touch you."
Lovino wearily looked down at his palms, trying to see if he was still solid. But his vision was blurred, body staggering. Both hands slid right through each other, as if they weren't really there at all.
"You're...You're vanishing..."
**I think I may be nearing the end of the story! Gah! I am hoping to have an exciting end! Review to let me know your feelings on the story!
