Disclaimer: I still don't own them. Or sharpies.


The man in question was a master of demonic sealing arts known only Arashi Kazama. Dante'd met him 5 years before in an isolated part of Japan and as luck would have it, a few weeks earlier, he'd moved to Capulet City.

"Yo!" Dante kicked at the metal door lightly, leaving behind a small dent. Well, lightly by his standards. He would have knocked but his hands were full. Naruto wouldn't let Dante put him down and though he refused to admit it, Kyuubi's still healing wounds were too delicate to let him walk.

"Are you sure this is the right place?" Trish asked. Nero stirred and she tapped him lightly on the back of the head with a finger encased in electricity. They'd just have to fight him again if he woke up before the demon in him was exorcised

"One second!" a voice called from behind the door.

It hadn't taken long for Arashi to learn English—the guy was a friggin genius in everything he did.

Dante smirked as the door opened and a hastily dressed looking woman walked out with a ruffled looking Arashi not far behind. Unfortunately he genius at womanizing too, leaving the infamous son of Sparda second to one.

"Long time no see" Arashi said flashing an oddly fox like grin.

Dante sniffed at the air "Is that pepperoni pizza?"

"Yeah, I figured you'd pop up here eventually" he replied motioning for them to follow him inside the house.

"I knew there was a reason I liked you" Dante said, walking in after the blond haired man and completely missing the venomous look that the fox demon shot Arashi as they entered.

Trish on the other hand, hadn't and she arched an eyebrow before grabbing Nero by the back of his jacket and dragging him behind her.


Naruto could only stare in awe at his surroundings as Dante carried him down the hall after the weird blond man.

'This place is way bigger than it looks from outside…' Naruto thought one of the various pieces of art on the wall caught his eye. It was a painting of a fox that looked a lot like Kyuubi.

The fox in question was busy trying to see if he could get Arashi to spontaneously combust if he glared at him hard enough.

"Your pet fox doesn't like me very much, does he?" Arashi asked as he sweat dropped.

"Don't get too offended the furball doesn't like anyone" Dante said glancing down at Kyuubi who'd gone rigid.

"But Fuzzy-sensei likes me…" Naruto whined.

'Did he just call me a pet?'

"Only because he dies if you die"

'Blond. Bastard. Dies. Now'

"So would I be right to think that the recent spike in demonic activity that I've been hearing about has something to do with your furry friend?" Arashi asked as they entered a decent sized kitchen.

"Eh… something like that…" Dante spaced out when he caught sight of a large pie of pizza sitting on a cooling rack.

"No pizza for you until you explain what's going on" Arashi walked in front of the pizza and crossed his arms "There's never been this many high level demons in the city before".

"But this isn't my fau-"

"No buts. Talk or I burn the pizza" he reached in his pocket, took out a lighter and held it over the fresh baked pie to emphasize his point.

Trish watched the entire exchange from her position on the kitchen wall with extreme amusement. There were few humans who could talk to Dante without feeling intimidated by his demonic aura and even fewer who would even jokingly threaten him, much less keep in contact with him after their first meeting. Something about him being a magnet for life-threatening apocalyptic danger.

'He doesn't normally keep humans in the loop about demons…they're too easily corrupted. I wonder what's so special about this guy… especially since Dante never told me about him'. At that last thought a slightly irritated look crossed her face. It wasn't that she couldn't tolerate working with humans; she just didn't trust them not to get killed in the process of trying to be helpful. Lady, of course, was an exception.

"Fine…" Dante set Kyuubi gently on the kitchen table before grabbing a seat and by some miracle, convincing Naruto to take the chair next to him.

"Well, in a nutshell, this kid" he motioned towards Naruto "dropped down on my doorstep and slaughtered a group of mid to high level demons then fell asleep in the middle of the street".

"And?" Arashi flicked the lighter.

"And he attracts demons like moths to a flame. Some 'catra' thing… or something like that".

"It's chakra genius" Kyuubi snapped from his position on the table.

"Interesting" Arashi looked thoughtful for a moment "Sounds familiar, not sure from where though".

Kyuubi's jaw dropped "What do you mean familiar?"

Arashi shrugged "I'm pretty sure I've heard the term somewhere… Maybe it's from before…"

"Oh!" Dante snapped his fingers "And apparently the furball's a 10,000 year old demon lord sealed in the kid's stomach".

Arashi twitched "Shouldn't that have been the first thing you told me?"

"Eh…"

"I'm hungry…" Naruto whined all of a sudden.

Kyuubi looked at him in disbelief "You had an entire pie of pizza".

"Two actually" Trish corrected "and both of them were extra large".

Dante grinned "He's like a walking black hole when it comes to food"

"Sounds familiar…" Trish and Arashi muttered in unison.

Arashi sighed as he picked up the pizza and placed it on the kitchen table within reach of Dante and Naruto.

It didn't last more than 5 seconds.

"Hey! I wanted some of that!" Arashi glared at the pair who'd tried to put on innocent looks. The leftover tomato sauce on their faces caused them to fail at it.

Epically.

"Is there a specific reason you lot descended on my doorstep today?" Arashi said snippily as he went over to his fridge to scavenge for food.

"One, I need someone to get rid of the demon, loitering in Nero's body. The kid's a pain in the ass when possessed. And two, I need someone to alter Naruto's seal to limit the amount of chakra" he gave Kyuubi a nasty look "that he puts out, and you're the only guy I trust to do that".

Arashi settled for a soda, popped it open and drank it down "…I'm flattered, but-"

"Or we could let greater demons continue roaming the planet till they find Naruto, eat him and destroy the world with the power they absorb".

"Well, when you put it that way…" Arashi sighed and tossed his empty can in the trash "Ok, Naruto, could you lift up your shirt a minute so I can see your seal?"

Naruto hesitated "Are you gonna take Fuzzy-sensei away from me?"

"Sensei? You speak Japanese? And no, not if I can help it. He doesn't seem to be a malevolent demon so I see no reason why the two of you can't stay together.

"Okay…" Though he still looked doubtful, Naruto lifted his shirt over his stomach to show off the complex seal that hadn't faded since Kyuubi had left it.

Arashi whistled "That's some piece of work… I couldn't have done better myself."

Kyuubi coughed something that sounded oddly like 'No shit' and settled to glare at Arashi again.


Kyuubi sulked as Arashi poked and prodded at the seal.

'Your god forsaken villagers hunt me down and use my power to spite each other then you come along and seal me in your hell spawn'.

"I think I may be able to tweak the seal a bit… So that it'll hold back most of his chakra"

'God knows what would have happened if I hadn't gotten us out of Konoha. He'd probably be the village idiot'.

"At least until he's mature enough to control it himself…"

'Not to mention a below-average ninja. I'd end up being the only thing special about him'

"Yeah, I can definitely tweak it. I'll fix it so the glaring ball of fluff there can stay out but still draw energy from the main pool inside Naruto"

'He'd rely on me for everything…eventually get me ki- … what did he call me?'

Kyuubi's glare intensified 10 fold and Arashi actually shrank back from the fox.

"Insignificant mortal! You dare to call me a-" Kyuubi was forced to break off mid rant as the wound on his stomach gave a painful twinge he began coughing up blood.

Dante took this moment to give Kyuubi a short round of applause "You know, for a while there I doubted the whole 'Lord of all fox demons' thing, but you proved me wrong. You've got some serious potential.

"Remind me to kill you later" Kyuubi grumbled before laying down on the table to rest. He'd never change into his fox form again if he could help it. While he was effectively immortal, his wounds healed at an abnormally slow pace though none of this would be happening if it weren't for the irritating blond in front of him.

"You're a little too…delicate to move at the moment, so I'll have to alter the seal in here. Though I can think of a thousand better uses for my kitchen table…" he added the last part too quietly for normal humans to hear thus Naruto was left to stare cluelessly when Trish and Dante started laughing.

Kyuubi however had become thoughtful. If the seal was going to be altered to allow him to remain in the physical world, perhaps other 'features' could be added as well. He would never be completely free of Arashi's little brat, that much he was already certain of, but maybe he could be allowed to live separately from his host. All Kyuubi wanted was his own body. Without blonde hair. And about 20 years more age. He could care less about his chakra-they could share since there really was too much of it for one being.

"I need to double check a text…I'll be right back" Arashi said walking out of the room "and stay out of my fridge Dante!"


The second that Arashi was out of earshot, Dante waltzed over to the fridge and reached for the handle. It turned out there was a reason Arashi warned him away from the thing. It was like a bug zapper for demons. Or rather, half devils.

"Son of a bitch!"

"Well he did warn you" Trish chirped from her position on the wall. Nero twitched and she shocked him again "though I have to wonder about him… What's this guy's story anyway?"

Dante stole a glance at the too quiet Naruto before starting his story "Well, I met him in Japan 5 years ago. There was this sudden mass outbreak of demons and he just happened to be in the middle of it. He didn't have any memory about who he was other than his name and for a while he kept going on about a giant frog… weird. But the guy's a genius with seals, not to mention physical combat".

"Do you think one went wrong and wiped his memory?"

"Nah, the guy's too good for that. Remember that Bailee guy that tried to take out a portion of Toyko? Part of Mundus's upper guard?"

"Yeah…" she'd heard about that incident. A lot of people had gotten killed and no one knew exactly how the demon had been defeated.

"Well Arashi did that. Wiped the floor with him. Then kicked my ass for accidently putting a bullet through this old scroll on seals".

"You said he had no memory about his life?" Kyuubi cut in "At all?"

"Nope, nada. Why? You know something?"

"…Well"

"WHAT THE HELL?" Arashi roared from what sounded like halfway across the house. Dante tensed and pulled a hand on Rebellion and Trish shifted her body slightly into a defensive position.

They heard running and a few seconds later, Arashi burst into the kitchen.

"You're attracting every demon in the god damned country!" he screeched pointing at Kyuubi. Then he whirled around to glare down at Dante "YOU! You're a fucking magnet for trouble! I just looked out a window. The entire horizon is covered with demons. And not the low leveled crap that's supposed to be here either!"

"It's not that bad?" Dante tried. It sounded like Arashi was describing a good sized chunk of the underworld. With any luck, they'd start fighting amongst each other and cut their numbers by half.

"I saw an entire herd of flaming cattle, Dante" He ran a hand through his head "Okay, You" he pointed to Naruto "Take off your shirt and sit on the table next to the fuzzball".

Kyuubi growled at him and Arashi snapped back "Not a word out of you. I could have been enjoying time with my new girlfriend and instead I'm here with you trying to fix your omnipotent demonic magnet. You-" he pointed to Dante "Go put this on the back door" he handed him a paper seal. Do not touch it after it's been activated" the demon hunter gave a mock salute before streaking towards the back of the house.

"I need you to place this on the front door" he said handing Trish an identical seal "same thing. Don't touch it after you stick it to the door. It's a protective seal that all but elite demons can penetrate. And by elite I mean, unless Mundus himself tries to fit his pretty little ass through that door, nothing demonic is getting in…or out".

"Interesting analogy"

"I'll tell you about it later"

Trish smirked at him once before making a beeline for the front door.

"And you..." he turned to Nero "are a magnet of another kind… God damn that man. He attracts every oddball in the book". He walked over to Nero and his Devil Bringer twitched. However, before the younger devil hunter could fully awaken, Arashi slapped a glowing paper seal on his forehead, making a mental note to design a charm to help out with the teen's likely frequent possessions.

Arashi turned back towards Naruto and left the seal to do its work. At most it would only be another minute before Nero was demon free and by that time, Dante and his lady friend would be back.

"Okay, this shouldn't take too long. I'm going to alter your seal so that… what's your name anyways? It's not important for the sealing but it's impolite of me not to have asked".

"Just call me Kyuubi" the fox would have preferred a dramatic introduction laden with smoke and giant glowing eyes, but he had neither the chakra nor the energy to do it. Besides, there were more important things to deal with. Like the legion of demons headed their way.

"Hmm… 'Nine Tails'… interesting. Okay, Naruto, I'm going to need you to lie down" Arashi reached in his pocket and took out what looked like a permanent marker.

"You're going to fix his seal with a giant sharpie?" Dante had returned from his errand.

Arashi clucked in annoyance "Since when are any of my tools actually what they look like? I did turn my fridge into a bug zapper after all".

Dante frowned "I'm a devil, not an insect".

"Have you looked in a mirror while you're in your trigger form? You look like a roach".

"He's… got you there…" a voice croaked from the side of the kitchen.

"Hey, kid! Welcome back to the world of the living!"

"Whatever" Nero reached up and peeled the now dormant seal off his face "anyone want to tell me how I ended up here? Last time I checked I was on a date with Kyrie".

"Dunno. You just sort of… appeared".

"Great…"

"If you two are done chatting, one of you be helpful and get the bottle marked 'red ink' out of the fridge" Arashi said while clearing things off the table.

"Not it!" Dante plopped down on a chair and crossed his arms.

Nero sighed "Red ink… got it" he said and went over to the fridge. Dante could only stare as he went in the fridge, retrieved the bottle and closed the door all without incident.

"My fridge is set only to zap you, Dante. Otherwise you'd eat me out of house and home" Arashi mused. He nodded his thanks at Nero when he was handed the bottle and immediately got to work.

The hardest part of altering a seal was being allowed to do it. The person doing the altering had to have a sort of 'permission' to edit the seal. Most masters of the sealing arts coded their work so that other people couldn't tamper with it. He supposed the maker of the complex seal on Naruto had gotten lazy at the last minute; otherwise it would have reacted to his prodding earlier.

"This shouldn't hurt a bit" Arashi emptied the bottle into the top of the marker and shook it to get the ink running as he walked over to Naruto.

"Um… Mister…could you do me a favor?" Naruto asked quietly.

"Hmm…?"

"Could you separate Fuzzy-sensei and me?"

Everyone turned to look at the little blonde in disbelief "Huh?"

"Fuzzy-sensei's not happy when he's around me…I don't want him to be sad. So could you make it so he can go away when he wants?"

Kyuubi shifted uncomfortably. Naruto had asked Arashi alter the seal to the exact specifications he'd wanted, but he'd done it in a way that made the demon fox feel guilty.

Sure he'd be able to leave the brat whenever he wanted- assuming Arashi did exactly as the boy had asked, but the kid had just laid on a guilt trip a mile long. He couldn't abandon Naruto after doing something so…nice for him.

'And not 24 hours ago I wanted to murder him for turning our mindscape that sickening 'kill me' orange'.

"I…wouldn't leave…" Kyuubi ground out. He'd bet his life he was going to regret those words in the coming years.

"Really?" Kyuubi made a mental note to never look at Naruto when he was giving him the 'puppy eyes' again.

"Ugh…Really. Can we please get on with the sealing?" those eyes would be the death of him.

"Sure" Arashi twirled the marker happily, almost like he had been waiting for Kyuubi to promise to stay with the boy…

'Damned blondes…'

"Try not to move while I do this, okay?" he gave Naruto a serious look and the little blond nodded. He'd do anything if it meant helping his best friend.

Arashi gave him a warm smile then got to work, drawing complex characters at seemingly random intervals around Naruto's seal.

Dante watched the editing process with extreme interest. Usually Arashi shooed him out of the room whenever he did anything involving seals.

It was almost as if the seal master was painting, the way he drew the elegant strokes on Naruto's stomach. Said blonde was doing his best not to squirm and laugh. The marker probably tickled.

'A minor change to regulate the exchange of energy…'

Arashi focused on the top right corner of the seal while fiddling with the marker a bit to give it a fine tip. Once he was satisfied with it he began drawing small sets of intricate symbols that seemed to dance for a moment before disappearing into Naruto's skin.

"That tickles!" the little blond laughed, barely managing to keep still.

"For now" Arashi replied as his attention drifted to the center of the seal. This was where he'd have to make the changed that would allow the demon fox to have his own body. Honestly he had no clue why the young boy was so determined to keep the fox with him.

'To each his own I guess… Hmm…' he paused for a moment 'I have absolutely no clue what the fox wants his body to look like…And I highly doubt he wants to look like Naruto…'

A loud thud from outside interrupted his thoughts. The demons had arrived.

'He can do it himself later' Arashi thought and started scribbling on the seal.

"Can someone fill me in on what exactly is going on?" Nero's Devil Bringer had lit up to the intensity of a small sun and he'd instinctively put a hand on the hilt of his sword.

"Demonic Magnet" Dante pointed towards Naruto "Demons" he pointed towards the kitchens only window that was now blacked out with the bodies of said demons.

"Almost done!" Arashi as he capped his marker. He surveyed his work one last time then glanced up at Naruto "You remember what I said earlier about this not hurting?"

"Yeah…"

Kyuubi caught on a lot quicker than his host and frowned briefly at Arashi before hopping onto Naruto's stomach and disappearing back into the seal.

Arashi slammed a suddenly glowing hand into the center of Naruto's seal.

"I lied".


AN: I can't believe I haven't updated in a year… Well, the good news, I've settled on an idea for the plot. The better news: The update times shouldn't be as long from now on and I won't abandon the story no matter how much I've come to dislike canon Naruto. The story is in the DMC universe thankfully and won't be going anywhere else for a long while.

*Keeps cookie* Sadly, Vergil won't be making an appearance for another 2-4 chapters though someone familiar will make a brief appearance in the next one.

To any Nero/Kyrie fans: You are going to hate me for what I'm going to do to them *evil grin*.