I know I just updated yesterday...but I couldn't help it! The plot bunny hit me hard, and luckily for you, dear readers, I churned this one out as well. Yes-ah! BABY! (Hana Kimi Japan Drama reference, anyone? =D )
Okay, first thing's first: thank you to everyone that reviewed the last chapter! I have a feeling this one will definitely give you something to say.
And random: I just read the new Naruto chapter and *Spoiler Alert* ZOMG THE GAARA/ZOMBIE DADDY FIGHT IS FINALLY HAPPENING! AND KISHI SHOWED TEMARI FOR THE FIRST TIME IN AGES, SO SHE MAY GET IN ON THE ACTION! *author flails about excitedly while letting out fangirl squees* And we all know Shika's still there, so maybe he'll help out too! Oh, that would make my life.
Okay. I don't own Naruto. If you can't tell from above, I'm clearly in too much of a fangirl state to.
A few days after Sasuke's return, Sakura realizes something: she no longer knows what to do with herself.
It doesn't matter that she had been getting along just fine during the years he had gone rogue, that she had established a name for herself, that she was the Hokage's protege. Because in the end, when she thinks about it, her whole life revolves around Sasuke.
The only reason she had begged Tsunade to teach her was because she was sick of him leaving her behind. The only reason she had worked so hard—became so good at her job—was because she didn't want him to see her as pathetic, as a burden.
Her hair, although still shorter than when she was growing up, is slowly, but steadily, growing longer. It now reaches her shoulders, and is teasing with the idea of going lower. She keeps saying she needs to get a haircut, but she never does, and deep down she knows it's because she still thinks Sasuke would like it better this way.
Hell, she even keeps herself pure for him—choosing, despite Ino's teasing, to be abstinent. It has nothing to do with religion and everything to do with Sasuke. She wants to be able to completely give herself to him, to belong to him, and only him, in both mind and body.
But now that Sasuke has made it crystal clear that he does not feel the same way, Sakura's life suddenly has no meaning. There is no one to wait for, no future to pine after, no one to get stronger for.
She is pathetic. She disgusts herself.
She has to regain control of herself, to stop living for him.
This is the reason the first thing to go is her virginity.
She had never had a problem getting hit on, and all it took was her sitting alone in a bar, sipping a fruity drink through a straw, for the vultures to swoop down.
She decides on a decent looking man. He takes the time to have a conversation with her, and he doesn't constantly ogle her tits while he does it. Also, because Sakura made sure to choose a civilian bar, it is quite possible that he doesn't know who she is—and highly probable that she will never see him again. She likes those odds.
After a little verbal prodding on her part, she finds herself in a bathroom stall, Mr. Civilian's tongue jammed down her throat. He smells musty, and alcohol is prominent on his breath.
She suppresses the urge to gag. This is nothing like that other time. Nothing at all.
The whole ordeal is over rather quickly. While this would upset most girls, Sakura feels lucky, because she can't stand letting him touch her for one second longer.
In the end, he thanks her, leaving her alone in the bathroom. She takes her time rearranging her clothes, smoothing out the creases. She exits the stall and looks at her reflection in the mirror.
She is still disgusted with herself, and the disgust is quickly multiplying.
She walks to the apartment she shares with Ino. Luckily for her, her friend is out on a date with Genma, and thus isn't around to question her. She heads straight for the bathroom, strips, and stands under the showerhead. The water doesn't seem to ever get hot enough.
Sakura only leaves after she realizes that the water has gone cold. She heads straight for her bed, not even bothering to clothe herself before slipping between the sheets.
She blinks, and suddenly her alarm clock is going off and it is morning. Mechanically, she puts on her medic uniform. But when she gets a glance at herself in the mirror, she promptly gets back in bed and curls into fetal position. She calls Shizune, making up some shiteous lie about being sick. Had she been more herself, Sakura would have felt terrible about leaving Shizune to deal with the Hokage's wrath. Instead, she just goes back to sleep.
It's dark when she wakes up. Groggily, she makes her way to the bathroom to pee, and in the process of washing her hands, she once again sees her reflection. Despite all of the sleep she had gotten, dark rings are under her eyes, and her hair is a rat's nest.
Her eyes focus on her rosy strands. She doesn't really need it, she muses. It's Sasuke's hair—and if he doesn't want it, what's the point?
Her hair is the second thing to go. She clips all of it with the trimming scissors Ino left lying around, pink littering the tiles, and when she looks in the mirror at the end, she still feels hollow.
When she exits the bathroom this time, Ino is there. She is sitting on the couch, her knees hugged to her chest, eyes puffy, nose red. She takes one look at Sakura and says, in a small voice, "Why didn't you let me help?"
And suddenly, Sakura is crying. She is sobbing, so hard that she can't breathe, so hard that she sounds like she's dying. And then she suddenly feels Ino's arms around her, and Ino starts crying again too, and they both cling to each other and cry.
When the tears finally go away but the pain doesn't, Ino picks up her phone and dials. "Tenny," she says, her voice hoarse. "Get dressed. We're going out."
A/N: Cue Choji's future.
I feel terrible. Why must I do this to poor Sakura? :'( Well, Sasuke messed her up. Real bad. But alas, we all know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. She had to get over him somehow; it just wasn't pretty.
I know you have something to say. Let me know.
