Her eyes hadn't left her daughter for the past four hours despite her body's cries for sleep, the realisation of having her daughter, actually having her in front of her caused Ronnie's stomach to do somersaults, to feel excited, ful-filled and so motherley. She had felt Danielle's fingers weaken around her fingers as she had fallen asleep but Ronnie had kept her hand in the exact position not wanting to remove all contact from her daughter. She couldn't believe she was here, it all felt so unreal, that here she was, a mother; Danielle's mother. She felt her eyelids becoming heavy so gently closed them – just for a minute, not wanting to miss any second of her newfound daughter's life.
She wanted more than anything to take Danielle in her arm's and never let her go; she had dreamed about this moment for as long as she could remember, but yet after seeing the fragile state her daughter was in before Ronnie didn't dare risk it. Unforgivable pain had been caused and she knew, knew deep down that she had caused it, and inflicted it upon her daughter, the cruel treatment of this shy teenager, her shy teenager. She was hoping that they would be able to talk when Danielle awoke, Ronnie had a speech mapped out in her head and a script of how everything would go, and Danielle would forgive her and be back in her arms once more; everything would be perfect.
Her eyes peeled themselves open as she felt the gentle stir of Danielle's arm and the soft, quiet cough escaping from her daughter's mouth. She felt a renewed sense of energy as she saw the eyes of Danielle flutter open before gently shutting and reopening again. Ronnie breathed heavily preparing herself for the questions she may have to answer, the pain she would have to explain. She smiled as she saw the fixation of Danielle's eyes upon her face, as if studying it, just like Ronnie had done whilst Danielle had slept. The moment was broken by the nurse entering the room, pushing in a trolley.
"Morning Danielle, did you sleep well?" The nurse questioned as she walked over to the right side of the bed, giving Ronnie a small nod. Danielle replied with a small nod of her head, the oxygen mask still covering her mouth. "Good, I'm just going to change the IV drip hopefully it shouldn't be too painful but I'll be gentle as I can," She gave Danielle a small smile before looking in the trolley for a new needle.
Danielle looked around the room, anything to keep her eyes off needles and the tubes been inserted into her arm, into her veins; she hated them. She was trying her best not to tense her arm up, hoping it would be less painful but needles were needles and they hurt. She turned her eyes to Ronnie, desperate for her mum to take the pain away, for her to make it stop as she felt the nurse remove her previous IV drip. The pleading eyes were too much for Ronnie as she grabbed hold of Danielle's hand bringing it close to her face. She didn't care in that exact moment whether it was the right thing to do, whether it was what Danielle wanted; she could see the pain etched across her face and it was her job, her job as Danielle's mother, to get rid of it. Her eyes followed the nurse, the woman causing pain to her precious baby, as she stabbed the needle into Danielle's skin, her daughter's hand flinching at the point of contact.
It was too much for Ronnie, her daughter was in pain and try as she could she couldn't get rid of it. So she raised herself off her seat, where she had spent the past however many hours, and rushed to her daughter's bedside, their hands still connected. She brushed Danielle's hair out of her face and gently stared caressing her daughter's face, her fingers sweeping across her check before whispering into Danielle's ear,
"It's ok Danielle, I'm here now, its ok sweetie," She felt the small squeeze of Danielle's hand still wrapped in her own, and a faint smile appear across her daughter's face as Ronnie's heart fluttered, the relationship she had craved for so long was finally starting to materialise, to become real with the precious girl in front of her. Danielle slowly closed her eyes as she felt the removal of the needle, as she felt the pressure to look at Ronnie in the 'right way' becoming too much.
The thoughts were flying around Danielle's head; the words she had heard Ronnie speak were soft and motherly, calm and cool, not like the Ronnie Danielle knew. Maybe she had changed, maybe she really did want Danielle or maybe she was just trying to let Danielle down gently… Danielle wanted her actions to be perfect, for the right words to leave her mouth, for the smiles and laughs to come at the right time, to just be the perfect child Ronnie wanted, hoping to make sure she didn't get rejected once again.
Reluctantly, Ronnie let her hands drift away from her daughter's face as the nurse packed up but yet her eyes never strayed from her daughter's face. She had seen Danielle close her eyes as soon as she started to speak, the rejection cutting through her heart, she had hoped she was comforting Danielle but obviously not, maybe she was just causing more pain to her precious baby. She wasn't going to give up though, she needed Danielle to know, to know how much she loved her, how she had longed for her daughter every day, how she had thought of nothing else.
The nurse gently propped up the pillows behind Danielle, as she leant forward allowing the nurse to adjust them before leaning back on them, moving herself around slightly until she was comfortable.
"The doctor will be coming in to check on your arm and how you are within the next ten minutes; I'm just outside if you need me." The nurse spoke as she wheeled the trolley out of the room, looking at the mother and daughter sat quite uncomfortably together. Ronnie gratefully smiled at her as she left the room, before turning her attention back to her daughter; not quite knowing what to say or do. Her maternal instinct had taken over moments previously but she had to accept that it might not be what Danielle wanted; she might want to take everything slow or not do anything at all. However, she smiled at Danielle as their eyes connected, and she would swear that she saw a small smile fade across Danielle's face.
Danielle remained looking into her mother's eyes, for minutes after the nurse had left, and however much she tried to make them stray they wouldn't; they were fixated upon Ronnie's face, imprinting the features on her mind. Ronnie allowed Danielle to study her, shifting uncomfortably in her chair, wishing her daughter could see her in a more relaxed state, looking better than she did at the moment. Her hair was scruffily tied up in a bun at the back of her head, her dress dirty and with rips evident on the fabric and traces of black mascara down her check where her tears had removed it from her eyelashes. She hadn't had time to clean her face, to give it a wash, and she didn't want to leave Danielle know, not alone whilst she was awake.
The silence was broken by Ronnie posing a question to Danielle, "How are you feeling sw…Danielle?" However she immediately felt stupidly guilty for asking a question her daughter couldn't answer, the oxygen mask still present around her mouth preventing words from leaving Danielle's mouth, from allowing her daughter to speak.
As Danielle pondered over how to answer the question, what actions to use, the door flung open and a doctor casually walked in, pulling up a chair to sit next to Ronnie.
"Hi Danielle, I'm Doctor Gateshead. Are you feeling ok this morning?" He questioned whilst Danielle nodded, "Are you a relative?" Slightly weary of the woman sat next to him, his attention turned to Ronnie, wondering why this woman was sat here at ridiculously early hours of the morning, visiting hours didn't start until nine.
"Yes, yes, I'm…I'm her mum," Ronnie nervously replied, unsure of how much information to give out, of how much information Danielle wanted her to give out.
He nodded slowly as her eyes drifted back to Danielle's, "And are you ok with her been here whilst we have a chat Danielle?"
Apprehensively, Danielle nodded her eyes never straying to meet those of Ronnie, keeping them focused on the doctor in front of her. Having Ronnie by her side, could make everything easier, help take some of the pain away, but it could also make things harder, make things harder to admit, cause more hurt and pain. She was so confused at the moment that nothing made sense, everything was jumbled up in her head, making it ache.
"Ok Danielle. Well you suffered some very serious bruising to your chest and head, and some broken ribs. You broke the radius bone in your left arm," He explained Danielle's condition to her slowly whilst flicking through the pages of notes, fastened onto a clipboard, perched on his knee, allowing her to take in every word he spoke, "As you can see we put that in plaster and it should start to heal itself. You may feel some discomfort in it but that is normal so don't worry. As for the swelling on your brain, we are controlling that by the IV drips and the oxygen. We are going to keep you in for the next few days to keep an eye on your condition but I don't see any problem in you being discharged by, lets say next Friday,"
Danielle listened intently to the words he spoke, desperate to not let her mind stray to her mother. She stole a glance at Ronnie whilst he was speaking to see her too engrossed in what he was saying, her hand still lying outstretched on the bed, her fingers forming themselves into a fist before relaxing once more.
"You can take your oxygen mask off to talk and drink, but only for short times and if you start to feel light headed or sick, then pop it straight back on and you won't be able to have any food for the next 12 hours, so lets hope you had a big meal yesterday!" He joked, a small smile bracing his face. Danielle too let a small smile grace her face but it quickly vanished when she remembered yesterday's events. Concerned, Ronnie turned her head to face her daughter, knowing full well that yesterday's events were playing on both their minds.
The doctor finished, directing his eye contact at both blonde women sat in close proximity to him, "Oh, and I'm afraid the police are wanting to speak to you both - separately, at some point in the next hour,"
