Episode 04: Desperation in action/The Lonely Conqueror of God

Formatting information:

"Speech"

'Thoughts'

{Truth} (See the Author Notes if this confuses you.)


the above denotes Scene changes

Opening Note:

Due to plot, several Japanese Honorifics appear here which have not, and likely will not appear again in Blood of Blue. While a basic understanding of them is useful, it should not be required. As a writer, I am sometimes forced to do something I don't particularly like because it makes sense. See the End Note for additional details.


He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.-Friedrich Nietzsche

Rei dashed down the corridors of NERV towards the Eva Testing Bay. The Mark 3 Battle Rifle in her hands balanced against her body's center of gravity, its single clip fitted properly into the stock. Hunched over forward like this was both the best defensive and offensive position on the run, and the section 2 agent at the door, stoic even now, hit the open button on cue, allowing Rei to avoid slowing down in her headlong rush to the entry plug of Unit 01.


The mechanics smoothly lowered into the entry plug, grabbing onto his chair to lift it out of the entry plug of Unit 01 with a familiar lurch. The view of the bay was fairly spectacular, now that Shinji had gotten used to it and was not frozen in fear. Even as his chair reached the bridge, Shinji saw Rei in her plugsuit with a rifle in her hands, looking at him with that impassive manner he was just starting to get used to. Though she was breathing a little faster then normal.

"Pilot Ikari, you still do not take the proper stance with the Mark 3a Battle Rifle." Calm, factual, never hostile, never upset. 'That's why I work so well with her as a teacher.' Shinji's mind supplied. {Naturally, with her there is no consequence for failure.} The moment Shinji stood upright he was forced to catch the rifle Rei threw at him.
"Hey what-"
Rei stepped behind him and grabbed his hands, placing them into the correct position, even as she swept his legs wider into a proper stance with her own. For Shinji of course, the fact both of them were wearing their plug suits was overpoweringly apparent.
"This is the proper stance for firing without moving."

The over-watch chamber technicians were filing out, the specter of fatigue lingering upon them. Ritsuko noted her friends yawn, and cracked a sardonic smile.
"Aww, getting too old to pull an all nighter?" The look of fury that Misato returned over the clipboard full of paper work held a fragility inside it. Then it broke into a snide grin as she replied.
"Well not all of us have a happy little assistant to bring us coffee." Stepping to the window to look out into the bay, the two senior officers of NERV present for the training put their wits back into their scabbards. Ritsuko marshaled the last of her focus to finish the sessions evaluation, glad that the Magi would have a transcript for her to use rather then having to write up the report later by memory.
"True. Still, Shinji has made remarkable progress for less then a months effort."
"I think we should be more concerned with Shinji's attitude, rather then his technical proficiency." Misato replied, looking out across the massive Eva bay to where Rei was still instructing the ever more red Shinji in his stance errors.
"Well, I would rather have a reluctant hero then a dead fanatic myself. But I don't think keeping up this pace is going to help, the fatigue is gettin-" Ritsuko's point was rather made for her by the yawn, and she trailed off.
Looking at Shinji nodding in response to another instruction from Rei, Misato's smile broke cover again.
"Looks like Rei is warming him up to the prospect of staying for the long haul."


The actual entrance to NERV HQ really did not seem appropriate for the organization tasked with preventing the extinction of the human race, or so Jiro continued to think. 'Still, compared to what you would think a secret organization run by the UN to operate the Ultimate Decisive Battle Weapon would be like, this is actually kinda nice.' First shift all got on duty at around the same time, and because any given location in Tokyo-3 had about the same travel time to NERV HQ, traveling in groups was the norm. Even as he fished in his coat for his temporary ID card. 'God forbid they would issue a new one early just because I got a field promotion!' Jiro caught sight of the two faces that had been missing from his normal commute.

Ritsuko and Maya walked up to the main entrance in synch, Maya half turned around as she punctuated a point concerning 'Nephilim' genetics, the coffee in her hand swishing dangerously. "So there is nothing incompatible between Shinji's EUD and Nephilim genetics!" Ritsuko nodded sagely, and pulled out her ID badge, finally prompting Maya to notice where they were. The line of First shift personnel waiting to use the only doorway allowing them in, while the others handled the exhausted fourth shifts exit. While Maya dug about inside her laptop bag, Jiro asked the question that had entertained some of the idle moments of his commute.
"So how are you two getting down here without using the tram?" his tone seemed genuinely interested, so Ritsuko decided to shelve her speculations on genetics and answer.
"The Geo-front has the ability to house the whole of the core personnel on site. Given how much time our new project is taking up, I am just too damn tired to climb back up there by the time I am off work." The shrug seemed a little exaggerated to Jiro, but he was still getting used to being directly involved with the nosebleed level NERV authorities. Maya chipped in around the wallet in her mouth.
"This project just eats up so much time it was quicker for us to snag one of the flats down here and set up there then constantly commute." The immediate irritation Maya's comment provoked in her superior was not something Jiro intended to speculate on.
"So is the new pilot monitor equipment installation going well?" Maya inadvertently saved Jiro the awkwardness of shifting topics, and he jumped on the chance immediately.
"Retrofitting of Unit 01's backup plug is finished already." Jiro turned around into Mayas beaming smile and Ritsuko's neutrality as the three of them passed through the internal security checkpoint before the elevators and while Jiro punched in their destination he continued. "There is also the matter of prototyping that new plug design. I figured that it would be a good idea to get input from you two, and the Ops Director before we got to the fabrication stage." Ritsuko raised an eyebrow at this while Maya stared off into space in what Jiro was rapidly coming to realize was deep thought rather then daydreams. 'Then again, what's to say her daydreams aren't full of technical info?' Still, Jiro was getting an inquiring gaze from his superior, so he went into an explanation.
"The entry plug is an impressive piece of work, but the design is a decade old, materials and miniaturization technology, as well as experience with actual battlefield conditions are sure to mean we can make a better design now."
This seemed to appease the head of science, and Jiro internally heaved a sigh of relief. The elevators halting at their destination seemed to jerk Maya out of her thoughts, and as they exited at the junction where their routes departed she stopped.
"If you're going to make a new entry plug, you might as well start from scratch with input from sempai, Misato and myself." Stopped short by this, both Jiro and Ritsuko looked at her quizzically. "I had to go over the design notes of the entry plugs in the magi personally to assure the commander of some of my conclusions, especially the LCL filtering system and the. . ." Jiro was confused as she looked over at Ritsuko for approval before continuing. "contaminants left in the LCL after the battle." Jiro's flash of memory, of what they had found in the filters during the maintenance, and emptying his lunch at the realization that it was a fragment of a human skull left him feeling momentarily sick. Jiro quickly turned his attention back to what Maya was saying. "The size and thickness of the plug ends and walls is so much determined by the materials limits of the time of their design it struck me."
"Well, if either of you could get director Katsuragi to arrange a meeting time to cover the topic I would appreciate it, the channels for getting the request to her by memo seem to be unreliable." Jiro had quickly learned that the Ops Director avoided as much as reading memos not from her own or the scientific branches. 'Not that most of them are worth reading.' he admitted.
"I'm sure you can convince Misato to make some time within a couple of days, right Sempai?" the look of 'deer in headlights' on Ritsukos face as Maya threw the responsibility into her court was nearly enough, combined with Mayas 'Puppy-dog begging for a treat' look to make Jiro break into laughter.
Visibly retreating, Ritsuko replied. "Ok, I'll get Misato to agree to sometime tomorrow." Her look to Jiro was filled with exasperation. "Going to need to be late in the day tomorrow, your schedule allow that?" Jiro's nod signaled their parting of ways.


Misato was drifting contentedly, if not blissfully, in a hazy world of semi-sleep, curled up under her blanket having a nicely pedestrian dream. Naturally, the universe could not allow this to continue indefinitely, and Shinji's opening her door was followed by his voice rousing her to a minimum of wakefulness.
"Misato, I'm heading to school, don't you need to get going?" It was spoken with his usual care bordering on flinching reserved for observations that might irritate the listener. Internal irritation at hearing it woke Misato another notch. 'God, use your damn spine!'
"Some conference with maintenance section. So today is a late day, so I'm sleeping in." Message delivered, Misato immediately started sliding back to the comfy spot totally out of the light, not even hearing Shinji's accepting "Oh, I'll prep some leftovers from dinner then."
Naturally, the moment Shinji was out the door, and well before the warming of the leftovers could wake her nicely, her phone rang with its non emergency work ring-tone. The tiny fragment of Misato that was aware at all of the noise sorted through priorities, and when the twitching sweeps of her arm did not find the phone to silence it, roused her enough to snag it off the dresser.
"Yes?"
Ritsuko almost decided to hang up and call back later at the sense of exhaustion in her friends voice. But she had made the sacrifice of shacking up in the Geo-front, and the moral high ground that provided tipped her hand. "Time to get up sleepyhead, responsibility calls." 'Ok, so maybe I did enjoy that a little.' Misato's caustic reply would give Xenomorph blood a challenge.
"Stupid demon, someone needs to seal it."
Reply or no, Misato was awake now, and set up to see a handwritten note beside where the phone was. While her friend chuckled on the other end of the phone, she read it.

'Reheated leftovers from dinner, your phone was running out of power again so I swapped batteries with mine. - Shinji'

That at least explained why the phone was not where she left it. The forethought and care was enough to warm her up a little with the thought. 'Typical Shinji.'
"Sorry, we're in the business of handing them over to children to control to fight other demons here, sealing is another department." The verbal response came into her ear as she set down to her breakfast beer, and she downed it quietly for once before replying.
"So what's so important it couldn't wait for tonight?" Misato was in that odd gear between 'relax' and 'Director' and the sentence came out sounding a little odd to Ritsukos ear.
"It's about your young housemate actually. How is Shinji getting along?" Misato's mind warred with itself for a moment. 'Do I mention the nightmares? At least that one is definitively pilot related. . .' Her eyes went to the note again. 'But Shinji told me that in confidence.'So Misato sighed and leaned back, looking at the phones battery display to see the '97%/~2 hours' figure she expected of a battery that had not been used. Putting the phone back to her head she replied.
"I don't think he's getting much social contact. . ." she trailed off with a frown, and Pen-Pen glared at her for staring into his space that way. Ritsuko decided to play devil's advocate and put her guilt theory to the test.
"Well he has been busy, between classes most of the week and training every day, combined with study time for school and his work here-" Misato angrily cut her off, confirming her theory of personal guilt.
"Sure we can make excuses all day long, but the fact is Shinji is nearly as socially isolated here as he was before he came! I gave him the cellphone, it never rings, and by this battery he hasn't made any calls either." Immediately guessing what battery she was referring to did not brighten Ritsuko's opinion of her friend. 'You still don't regularly charge your cell phone? I had to swap batteries with you for years so you wouldn't run out!'

"Well what about those two from the Section 2 reports?" Ritsuko had worked very hard over the years to quash her tendency to care for children, working with Rei had not helped, despite knowing what she was, and the accompanying nightmares. That care filtered though in her words, and triggered the rarely used extra gear in Misato which time and experience was giving ever more traction. With almost maternal frustration Misato explained.
"Kensuke and Toji have hung around with him, but its superficial, like ablative armor." Long experience with her friend conjured the image of Ritsuko glaring at her, so she supplied a simple example. "The moment something stresses it, it will crumble." Figuring this was the best opening she was likely to get, Ritsuko decided to get her unofficial duty done with.
"What about Rei?" the tone was casual, more a offhanded inquiry then anything else. Its sheer falsity rang in Misato's ears like a badly played note.
"You have access to the Section 2 reports, so far its nothing more then educational, with a little curiosity about her isolation." 'Oh, now there's a question that ought to reveal something.' hence Misato's follow up jest. "What, planning on breeding replacement pilots already?" This provoked a string of images through Ritsuko's mind that started with Rei holding Shinji's hand in the Eva Bay nearly a month ago, through Gendo giving Rei away to his own son at the alter, and the nightmare image of a little kid with bright red eyes asking to stay with 'Grandma Ritsuko'.
"No! We will never need such a thing!" Maya jumped at her terminal in what had become their co-office, and wondered what had upset Ritsuko so much she shouted into the phone. While on the other end Misato whipped the phone away from her head like it was a live snake.
"Wow, sorry to hit a nerve, but it's not like we can just pop another pilot out of the fridge here, and we have no idea how long this war is going to last." Misato's attempt to calm her long time friend struck far too close to home to calm her, but did focus her on getting things back on track wonderfully.
"Well when it comes to Shinji, I think he, and Rei are a bit alike." 'And his father for that matter.'
"Oh? How so?"
"They are not very good at..." Ritsuko paused to look for the right word. "living I guess. A little like the hedgehogs dilemma." That little preplanned out managed to carry the discussion safely away from anything sensitive; but before she hung up, Misato got in one last unknowing jab.
"I just wish the Marduk Institute would hurry up and find some more pilots. Unit 02 might as well be already operational and Asuka is roaring to get here, but there's no pressure to complete the rest on time. As if the Angel's immunity to anything else was a fairytale." With a yawn, Misato decided to get some sleep while she could.


Mike was having a typical day, and while he took comfort in the routine of setting up for class, his mind was troubled. It wasn't that he was not doing his job, it was that the poor kid was so. . . well meaning. The background files calm and clinical terminology failed to convey the puzzle that Shinji presented. 'By all rights he should be some kind of angry antisocial person, acting out against the authority figures that have failed him.' But the facts of his behavior over the past three weeks and his willingness to work with such single minded dedication to his little 'part time job' at NERV seemed to counter that assessment. The constant training meant that Shinji had spent these weeks in school, in training, or at home. 'Hell, if I had been treated the way he was, the moment they let me back into an Eva I would have killed Gendo.' This called for an explanation, a task for which Mike had personal observation and records from the base. What he did not have was access to what happened at home. Which was why he needed an excuse to chat with Ops Director Katsuragi again. 'Something is seriously wrong with the fact she did not know who I am.'

While Mike mused, the classroom filled in, and Rei caught his attention. There was a dynamic between the blue haired enigma and Shinji developing that Mike could not identify clearly. 'But then, I'm not native, so social cues like a change in honorific are going to slip by me without serious work to pay attention to them.' Shaking his head at the twist of fate that placed him in this line of work, he caught Hikari entering. 'Something has to be going on with her, got to be family related.' A moment's pause and a stifled laugh at her reaction to Toji and Kensuke's entrance to the classroom later Mike reconsidered. 'Or it's just boy trouble.' Checking the clock on his laptop, Mike figured he had the time to go over the dossiers on the pilot of the essentially completed Unit 02, which would surely be transferred soon. 'Not even the U.N. can survive having its head up its collective bunghole forever without coming out for a breath of air.' His last thoughts after consulting it and eating up the last of his 'free' time were simple. 'Oh grand, Sohryu is going to get along with this bunch like a lighter and napalm. Though Katsuragi does have experience dealing with her, she's going to need to take a hands on approach. For that matter, what impact is living in the same apartment is liable to have on Shinji?And Rei come to think of it.'

While Mike was ruminating, Toji was busy, and his exasperated tone showed his patience was running thin.
"Look, I'm not asking you to rush, it's just that you've been busy 'training'-" Toji's tone turned the word into something you would scrape off your shoe. "-for nearly a month man! If Mari keeps nagging at me about seeing you I'm going to be the one in the hospital." Shinji's sagging posture sapped strength from Toji's indignation even before his reply.
"You know that the moment they let me have a break I will go with you." {Yes, if there's anything you're good at, it's apologizing for things that aren't entirely your fault isn't it?} The bitter voice in the back of his mind had been quiet lately, drowned out by exhaustion, routine and constant instructions of school or training. 'But life never gets better really.' "I'll. . ." Shinji had walked into a corner verbally again.
"You'll what? Get to it before I am in a straight jacket in a padded room?" Toji did not mean it as a serious statement, but Shinji's mind supplied that all on its own.
"I will talk with Rei about it at lunch." The looks on Kensuke's and Toji's faces at that statement made no sense to Shinji until he ran back over his exact wording. 'Oh god, I called her Rei-Sensei.' Their immediate inquiries were a problem deferred for Shinji by the beginning of class, signaled by Hikari's asking them to rise. 'What am I going to do to explain that?' {They will drag it out of you as usual.} As he set down, Shinji resolved that it was unavoidable. 'Nothing to be done but tell the truth and pray Kensuke can convince Toji.'


On the roof of the school, the same basic scene as has occupied the past weeks is playing out. Shinji goes to the edge that looks out to the wooded hills and sits to eat the lunch he has packed. Behind him in the shade of the slight overhang Rei sits eating the lunch she has brought from NERV's supply storage unit 5-7.

But the routine is broken as Shinji gets up, and turns to walk to Rei, unaware she has been watching him every time rather then having noticed the movement and investigated. Inside the Nephilim's mind, gears are turning with crystal clarity. 'Ikari has broken from his routine, why?'
Rei's continued examination of pilot Ikari had run into fundamental gaps in her knowledge which she had simply never noticed before. The examination of those who did not know their reason for being had always taken a back seat to preparations for her own purpose, but with Unit 00 inoperative, and direct intervention a resort not needed thanks to his presence, she had started filling the void.

Specifically, she was filling the chunks of time that had previously existed as pointless waiting, often on her bed, with attempting to learn of her fellow pilots reasoning. 'Why does he pilot Eva?' 'Is it for me?' and similar questions plagued her, and yet some internal force urged her not to tell Dr. Akagi or the Commander. The force was subtle, manifest as a shifting of priorities, the assumption of their knowledge or consent, justification for her own initiative as part of filling standing orders. So it was that when Shinji asked his question Rei's awareness was focused with terrific intent.
"Ayanami, do you know the schedule for our" the blush on his cheeks at that point pulled at her attention. "Training?"
"What does it matter?" Rei was busy interpreting Shinji's actions. 'Pilot Ikari's hand is clenching and relaxing again, commander Ikari only does this when greatly stressed, and adopted his sitting stance to prevent this.' That analysis lead back to a more personal question, one that was answered immediately. 'I do not wish to change this.' backed with 'Deviation from the schedule will have a negative impact on its effect.' or so Rei rationalized. The unblinking stare had pulled Shinji's reasoning from him.
"It's Toji-" Rei did not realize it, but her eyes narrowed slightly at the name, even as her mind ran through solutions to his interference, most involving Section 2. "His sister Mari got hurt in the attack." Rei's interruption put Shinji highly off balance.
"Damage caused by Angel attacks is not the responsibility of defending pilots." Shinji visibly shuddered at the liquid nitrogen of her tone.
"She was hurt by me, by Eva. I have to apologize!" 'Its my fault, I have to put it right!' {Nothing you do ever turns out right.}Rei paused to think this over. 'This is factually correct, but procedurally wrong.' Naturally she fell back on training.
"It is the job of NERV Public Relations to issue such statements to the public." Shinji's hand snapped into a fist, and with his face screwed up and eyes closed he all but shouted.
"It's my duty, Ayanami!" Silence hung over the roof like smog at that statement, only cleared by Rei's revelation. 'Ikari believes it is his duty. . . as a pilot? Why does he believe that? Regardless, he will be unable to concentrate fully on me until this issue is resolved.' Thus a course of action determined, she set out to accomplish it.
Rei immediately stood, with a abruptness that dislodged Shinji, and whipped out her cell phone, hitting a preset number.

In Misato's apartment, the Operations Director was enjoying her little nap when her phone rang. 'Oh not again!' grabbing it and pulling it under the cover she read the name off the back-light. Instantly she snapped awake at the sight of '2ed Lt. Ayanami' on the ID. Mind filling with everything from a traffic accident to Angel sighting, she hit the accept button while scrambling to find her clothes.

Back on the roof, the phone rang once, and hearing the pickup tone Rei immediately made her request. "Pilot Ikari requires a deferral of training to tomorrow in order to handle a public relations matter. As he has already contacted me, we require only the approval of the operations director, do you so consent?" The question managed to unbalance Misato.
"Well yes, Shinji can have a day off-" Being hung up on by Rei was so outside of her experience that Misato decided. 'That can't have been real.' Rei looked to the frozen Shinji.
"Pilot Ikari, your training has been rescheduled."
"Who was that?"
"Operations Director Katsuragi." The confusion prompted explanation again. 'I am explaining myself often.' a fact filed away for later. "You could have done it, but you would have needed to check with myself as your instructor, this eliminates a step in the process."
"I. . . Thank you Rei!" even as Shinji ran to tell his friends, pelting down the stairs with a youthful disregard for safety, Rei was pensive. 'That is the first time he has used my personal name since learning my family name. Outside of training.' A scent distracted Rei from her thoughts then, wafting across the roof and reminding her this was a rare chance to study Shinji's behavior.

Specifically, it was the scent of Shinji's lunch. Walking over to examine it, Rei bent down to study the little box, its rice and fish only half eaten. 'Fish.' Rei's frown was immediate. 'Why meat? Issued rations include tofu with the entire nutritional compliment required.' They had always been adequate for Rei, and accessible on the route from her apartment to the school, with the surface force supply cache 5-7 so convenient. Seeing Shinji's home made lunches, and due to her position and prevailing weather patterns smelling it, had piqued her curiosity. 'It is not the same today either, though at least one part of it is similar.' Mike's little check up on the two of them he preformed every day from the blind was met with the sight of Rei holding Shinji's bento and smelling it deeply, eyes closed.


Naturally, since Toji and Kensuke were running their little. . . business venture that lunch, Shinji could not manage to find them before it was time for the latter half of the days classes. The last bit of their conversation that he caught as they entered the classroom was especially puzzling to Shinji.
"I'm telling you, we have to sell while the market is good, by a couple of weeks from now the allure of 'the quiet transfer student with a mysterious past' will wear off." Kensuke's impassioned statement was met with Toji's cryptic reply.
"As long as you have set aside his share, I'm willing to put in a little more of my lunch time for the big payoff."
"Hey, there are some things that I want to at least see before I die too ya know." Kensuke's reply got a frown from Toji. Shinji had no time to ponder the meaning as classes immediately resumed under the watchful eye of Hikari. 'Besides, these word problems are always so weird. What kind of teacher asks you how many cubic millimeters of metal you need to fill in the gaps of 13 12mm barrels to accept 9mm rounds for a given barrel length?'

After class, the three of them met up.
"So I'm guessing Rei said yes?" it took a moment for Shinji to parse the meaning before he could respond to Toji as the three of them walked to the entrance to the school grounds.
"Yes, tomorrow Ayanami and I have the day off of training." was his reply.
"Oh, so now its Ayanami-San again?" Kensuke's jeer was immediately followed up by Toji reflexively.
"What, no respect for your Senpai?" The smiles on their faces immediately lost their shine when they saw Shinji freeze up, but the slight blush told them they were on the right track even as he spoke.
"About that. . ." Shinji stumbled over the words 'Its purely professional. No, that makes it sound worse! Rei has come before me, she pilots Unit 00. No, I can't use that it might give something away!' What finally came out was "Since I came to Tokyo-3 I have begun working closely with Rei-"
As if speaking her name had summoned her, Rei was in front of them eyes glowing crimson for an instant.
"There is an emergency call." she spoke with a voice colder then death, freezing them all in place for a moment. Toji thawed first, heated by his anger as the sirens begain to wail.
"This is ridiculous!" but he turned to Shinji, "Go on, its not your fault when those idiots at NERV decide to do a drill." Kensuke and Rei spoke at the same time, Kensuke's
"There's no drill today." matched by Rei's statement.
"This is not a drill Pilot Ikari." a glance askance at Rei was followed up by Kensuke.
"Its fine, you have bigger things to worry about right?" Shinji's immediate reaction of weak denial
"But-" went unfinished as Rei snatched up his hand and turned to the Section 2 van that was turning the corner. Shinji's last sight of his friends before being pulled into the van was of Toji and Kensuke being virtually dragged by the ear towards the shelter route, Hikari riding herd.

In a valley outside Tokyo-3 Samshel floated at a deceptively sedate looking pace, Tendrils flapping lazily, seeming to ignore the recon fighter following it.


While Hikari organized the students in the shelter as usual, given that their teacher was always absent during alerts, Kensuke was looking at the inevitable censorship 'emergency' message. "At least this time they aren't trying to tell us this is all a drill." The remark was fairly bitter for NERV's number one fan. The scowl from Toji was unexpected. 'Mari getting hurt so bad really hurt him.' Toji had been friends with Kensuke since grade school, much to the terror of the toughs at said school, whose planned shakedown of 'the nerd with the glasses' had run into an abrupt wall. That wall running into their faces several times and then sticking around with the kid had permanently put them off the plan. The nickname for them which had left with the majority of the students in Tokyo-3, 'Faces of the Coin' held true. They both knew that this would likely be their last few years together before the inevitable fact their paths lead different directions would split them up. Still the sudden rift between Toji and himself following Mari being hurt in the first attack, and the events that followed stung. Looking over to where Toji was sprawled against the wall, Kensuke reached a decision point. 'I've got to see an Eva in combat at least once before I die! I just gotta! I guess this is something I have to do myself buddy.' Pocketing his camera, he spoke up.
"Hey Toji, watch my stuff for a bit I gotta hit the head." Toji's eye roll at his use of naval slang was just as planned. Toji did not watch as he went and informed Hikari, took his inevitable chewing out, and headed off. Then Toji noticed that the support cords to the official feed, and more importantly to power for the nearly empty battery had been left behind. 'Oh come on Kensuke, you whine about not being allowed to recharge the battery's because an Angel is attacking, and then you take it with you to the bathroom?' shaking his head Toji stopped for a second. His mind played back over the years since that camera had been the pushing factor into his helping a kid he hardly knew. 'You don't take peoples birthday presents. That's just wrong.' The sillyness of taking the camera picked at his mind. 'What does he even want it in there for? Its not like the Angel-' Kensuke's voice rang in Toji's head again. 'Hey, there are some things that I want to at least see before I die too ya know.' Then he checked, and sure enough Kensuke had taken a fresh tape. 'That can only mean one thing.' As Toji got up, heading to Hikari, his anger flared up, parting the sea of students sitting in the way. 'God damn it Ken! I can't just let you do this! And now I have to do the most unlikely thing imaginable.' The images of Mari played in his mind even as he approached Hikari, who turned around with automatic irritation.
"Can't at least one of you-" the frost in her words died at Toji's expression. 'He's trying to not let me see he's upset.'
"Horaki, can we talk for a second where it's quiet?" The shelter's background noise was quite low for the amount of students in it, and the rigid control in Toji's voice and posture screamed 'Problem.'

Ushering him toward the bathrooms with a wave of her arm, Hikari's worry never had time to be voiced.
"I'm going to check if he's in there." Toji motioned to the door to the men's bathroom. "If he is then I'm sorry." Hikari spent a moment in suspension. 'They learned not to mess with me years ago, but if this is a trick. . .' Her desperate attempt to cling to normality was torn from her when Toji stalked out, smashing his fist on the wall. "Horaki-gozen, Kensuke went outside to film the battle." The title left Hikari reeling. Thoughts overridden by 'Toji thinks I'm noble!' it took her a moment to get to the rest of the sentence, by which time Toji was already going on. "There is no way I can get out of here to drag him back without you knowing. I can't let what happened to Mari happen to Kensuke. So I'm begging you, please, let me grab the idiot before he gets hurt, and don't report him. He took his camera with him so he has to be out there." Toji's tone of anger had drained into a plea for mercy by the end. Still Hikari's thoughts were confused, rather then the directed thinking she needed, she kept getting side tracked by what he said. The squabbling was broken by the realization 'He took a camera. I had to sign paperwork just to call father at work. If section 2 finds him up there with a camera they will shoot him.'
Color drained from her face for a moment, but she recovered quickly, grabbing his hand to drag him to the exit.
"Come on, the surface exit is this way!"


The hiss of a solid seal, followed by the noise of the entry plug filling with LCL was as familiar to Shinji as the rest of the start up sequence he was even now enacting. Misato's voice rang clear and confident around him.
"Alright Shinji, this is your chance to show what you can do with some training under your belt. We have a Battle Rifle on its way up on your right once you reach the surface" that pause again. "So try and show that your close work with Rei is paying off."
Before he could reply however, the final connections were made, and the fresh sensation of restraint triggered his recollection of the nightmare he had tried so hard to avoid.

Restraints everywhere other then his head, some kind of helmet so he couldn't see. But he somehow knew it was something like an iron maiden only open so they could reach him. A slight twitch gives the feeling of a pair of steel bars pinning his shoulders, the walls of the construct pinning his legs in place, immense manacles holding even his hands immobile, lest he kill one of them with his finger. Then the sense of a drill, the noise like a dentists drill but fit to carve buildings, and the horrible certainty of what they were going to do to him. They were going to bore out his spine from behind, right where his shoulders meet. The humming increased in volume, inches from his flesh. . . Then a voice, a voice Shinji knew, familiar, but impossible to place. 'Wake up, Shin-chin.'

Shinji had immediately woken up, covered in sweat, and worst of all, not tangled up in his bedding. Misato had been in the kitchen when he went for some water by reflex. Misato had immediately asked about it of course. He did not know why for sure, but he set down and told her about it. His faltering explanation must have taken an hour, but she just set there, sipping water as he trembled in the seat across from her and tried to explain. It had shaken him so much that his synch ratio had dropped, forcing Shinji to ask for training to continue as normal. Even now, with so much on the line, it had frozen him up, and as his mind tore itself away from the horror, the look of concern on Misato's face, both on the little com window, and in front of him in the control box worried him. What surprised him however, was the little nod from Rei, who was staring directly at him from further back in the box. So it was with effort that Shinji intoned.
"It's alright, Unit 01 start up completed."


The Supine form of Samshel floated to a halt half way into the city. After the initial shots from defense guns had elicited no response at all, they had stopped firing. Unit 01's deployment point opened, the rails locking into place, and Samshel reared up like a serpent, the twin whip like tendrils continuing to sway as flags in a breeze. With several of the faux buildings between him and his enemy, Shinji had time to disconnect, lock the power cord into place, and retrieve the Battle Rifle from its armament point without interference. The thoughts running through Shinji's head were those of any rookie on his first engagement. 'FCS Online and calibrated, move up back to the wall angle so the cord won't get snapped, stay crouched on the balls of your feet.' To his credit, Unit 01's advance was as stealthy as a 40 meter tall person could be, coming to the intersection of the street Samshel was floating over, only 15 decimeters from the weird red thing. Back to the wall of the building, he settled into place.
"Misato, what's it doing?" Her first thought was 'Shinji sounds, calm, cold. . . like Rei.' Concern pushed aside by duty, she replied"It doesn't seem to know where you are, it has to know you're around, rearing up like that-" With a nod to Hyuuga, a feed from one of the many, many cameras that Misato knew all too well from speeding citations popped up in his view. "is clearly some kind of battle response. You can bet once you spread your AT Field it's going to notice." A moments flickering thoughts locked the plan into place, and with more confidence Misato sent out her orders. "Right, notice where its core is, pop out from cover, spread your AT Field and shoot him right in the core, just as you practiced" Shinji's nod was followed by the complex mental gymnastics involved in telling the FCS to lock onto the image feed's targeting data. Setting the mental cursor over the center of the core, framed conveniently by the ribcage around it, and clicking the fire selector to single shot.

Shinji took one last deep breath, let it out as Rei had taught him, and whipped out from cover, totally locked into his actions. Unit 01's eyes flare for an instant, hexagons flare before him for an instant, the mental pressure just as Rei described to him as their AT Fields clash. Then the trigger in the handle snaps, once, twice, three times. Shells larger then cars scream down the street, each packing more explosive power then a battleships cannons. The detonations shatter windows three blocks away, the overpressure wave bending the structural steel of the nearest two skyscrapers. The smoke of detonated gunpowder fills the street for an instant. . . Then a audible hum, immediately recalls his nightmare and causes Shinji to shift backwards instinctively.

The reaction is all that prevents the pink glowing ribbon from taking Unit 01's head off as it slices through the buildings as a blade through air. Instead it whips through in front of Shinji, as if in slow motion. To his terror, he can pick out every detail, segment after segment of chitin, surrounded by the plasma its friction is causing, leaving a trail in the air, inches in front of his face, close enough that he can feel the heating of his helmet. The second arcs in from the left, taking the barrel of the battle rifle off, superheated metals parting like the smoke being whipped away by the supersonic objects passing through it. It is with utter terror as he starts to scramble backwards, holding the truncated battle rifle in front of him as a shield Shinji screams.
"It didn't work Misato!"
Before the stunned crew can even react, the arcs of glowing death pass through the rifle as Unit 01 stumbles back out of reach, dropping the parts of the rifle into the smoke of the collapsing buildings, internal fires from the heat on the interior of the buildings immediately snuffed by the airstream.

As the 40 meters of war machine scrambles backwards on its elbows, orders flash out.
"Fall back! Defense Plate 17-B!" Misato was trying desperately not to let her panic show. 'Time, I need time to think damn it!'
The slowly advancing form of Samshel was abruptly cut off as a plate of tempered metal and composites as thick as a crosswalk locked into place. Rolling up to his feet, Shinji was abruptly reminded he was in Unit 01 as his leg contacted the power cord. Ahead of him, the indicator of a empty building, a routing order flickering in the corner of his eye. In his headlong rush he had crushed a buildings entry, and his mind flickered, an image of a little girl burning from another of his nightmares. 'No!' A thought redirected the rifle to the far armory building, the rifle carriage locking into place as he ran. A series of clangs from behind nearly made him turn around, but the prospect of a weapon and a clear area kept him from it. Samshel's blades had neatly quartered the plate, clearing its path. Increasing its speed Samshel tilted forward to race after the fleeing Eva. As Unit 01 pounded past the armory building and out of the immediate city center Misato quailed.
"What?-"
"The Rifle replacement is on this side." Shinji panted. Glancing over at the city display, the rifle was at the far armory building, not the central one she had ordered. 'No time to get on Shigeru's case now.'
As he pelted towards the rifle, clearing the high rises of the city, Shinji felt a sense of relief not born of the distance between him and the Angel. 'No one gets hurt here-' Someone clamping a white hot handcuff around his ankle interrupted his thoughts, and being pulled from his feet to hurdle across the city away from salvation nearly knocked him out. The impact on the hill managed to black Shinji out for an instant, so his first sight on waking was three little- 'People.' Sight snapping into focus on the three revealed who they were before the Magi link database.
Inside the control room, focus shifted from where Samshel was taking its time crossing the city to the three ID's that showed up. Misato said it first.
"Shinji's classmates?" 'I have to decide, do they matter enough to risk it?' But the answer was clear to her. 'What use is any of this if we can't protect anyone?'
"Open up with defense bases 7-12! Raise Defense Plates in blocks 3, 7, and 9!" Shinji lay stunned in the entry plug. His mind played a single thought. 'What are Toji, Kensuke, and Hikari doing here?' Misato's voice smashed the stability. "Shinji, set the Eva to hold orders and get them into the plug!"
On the mountain, the rumble of defense weapons firing from the other hills drowned out Kensuke's expression of surprise as the Eva rocked forward, and then a seemingly pencil thin cylinder opened up. The loudspeaker carried the authority of Misato's voice as it rang out. "Get in!" Their first thoughts on climbing the little ladder into the entry plug were recorded for posterity. Toji's blunt, "Water?" Kensuke's worried exclamation,"My camera!" and Hikari's shocked reaction to the overwhelming smell, "Blood?" All of which dissolved into panic as the sealed plug filled with LCL again.
Ritsuko's hasty "Its breathable, grab on to the back of the chair." was obeyed in seconds, as the interior of the plug cascaded with light. Toji's ill sounding "I think I'm gonna be sick." was not matched by Hikari, who was busy trying not to think about that. Kensuke's mind had quickly retreated into worry about the footage he had shot rather then deal with reality. All of them were interrupted when the plug walls became a display, and immediately filled with static. The image of the massive Angel slicing through the last defense plate and shrugging off the remainder of the defense base fire, even disrupted by static elicited panic in the plug. Ristuko's voice was audible to all of them over the com link. "Damn it! His synch ratio crashed with the addition of foreign body's in the entry plug, to much thought noise!"


In the command bunker, at Maya's hastily added station, the deceleration by Ritsuko elicited confusion. "That makes no sense. The Eva should not even faintly pick up their thoughts at all, much less enough to cause synch ratio drop like this." bigger concerns tore her attention away from the console at the sound of Shinji's panicked reply to Misato's order to retreat.
"Misato, it's between me and you!"

The tactical map showed the problem, and Misato's mind went over the data looking for an out. 'The only facility's on that hill are a pop up cannon and a pair of missile banks, and the nearest entrance to the geo front is behind Samshel. Shelters don't have AT Fields, if I fire on the hill-' there it was, the out, and what had gone wrong. 'Shinji didn't wait for its AT Field to collapse before firing, his shots smashed into the field, not the Angel. If it were immune to the shells, it would not have bothered defending with its AT Field.' But how to implement the plan? 'neutralization range is limited, 20 decimeters was the record. And it can dodge in three dimensions as well.' Getting close would require running a gauntlet of tendrils, and it threw Unit 01 like a rag-doll 'Still, with only 1:15 power left, its the only way.' A mental nod, and time snapped back into flowing.
"Shinji, when you can't run away, you've got to get to grips with your problems head on. Get in close, pin it down, neutralize its AT Field, we'll do the rest." Without waiting to see his reaction, Misato hit the all secondary forces button on the radio console.
"This is the Operational Director, on the tone signal, maximum effort fire mission targeted on Unit 01, Repeating, Maximum effort targeting Unit 01's position" Misato's voice came across to the UN pilots, and crews cold enough to see their breath. But her thinking was clear. 'Even without its AT Field, the Eva has 20,000 plates of fortified armor, short of a N2 mine, nothing should hurt it. Please let that estimate be right.' Time for planning ran out abruptly as Samshel reared into attack position, and the entry plug flooded with red light as the timer ticked to 1:00.
With a incoherent scream from Shinji as its vanguard, Unit 01 came plunging down the mountain, directly at Samshel. Tendrils spread to tear it apart as it tried to pass by, whipping out vertically. This left the direct route virtually defenseless for a crucial moment, and the Eva, pilot and passengers alike, was safely through its 15 decimeter engagement range and nearly in contact with Samshel when it reacted. Flailing without the geometric precision that had marked its previous attacks, the two strips of plasma coated chitin came in. The right fell like a guillotine, passing through Unit 01's shoulder effortlessly, but immediately mired in the earth and stone below. While blood coated the hillside and propelled the missing arm away outside, inside the entry plug, Shinji's left arm slackened instantly. On-board sensors cranked up to maximum power in preprogrammed response.
The left whip recoiled, and in defiance of momentum, lanced into Unit 01's torso. But rather then slipping in and out as planned, abruptly met resistance. Inside, the screaming of the pilot rose in volume, as someone shoved a heated iron into Shinji's guts. But momentum is a cruel mistress, so Unit 01, and the screaming pilot and passengers slammed into Samshel. Scrabbling for a handhold, its remaining arm wrapped around the head and body connection joint, destabilizing the floating angel until it was belly up, core gazing at a sky clogged with VTOLs, and the now revealed turrets on top of the mountain Misato's finger pressed the signal tone key. One turret, two missile battery's, 33 JSSDF Multiple Launch Rocket Systems, 17 NERV VTOLs and a lone surviving tank of the UN's forces opened fire on the current position of Unit 01, and Samshel. It took 3 whole seconds of struggle between the mired angel and maimed Eva for the Time on Target coordinated fire to arrive.
Inside the entry plug, Shinji was abruptly hurled from the seat, held in place for an instant by his remaining working arm before gravity had a chance to slam him face first into the front end of the command seat. His passengers would likely have enjoyed their view up Hikari's skirt, save for the fact they were nearly inverted before being crushed forward into the back of the command seat.
Outside, the flesh of Samshel vaporized, chunks blasted out from the conflagration, the head segment it had tried to interpose to preserve its core was gone entirely The long torso had chunks torn from it, craters of bleeding flesh left behind. The chitin whips crashing to the ground was inaudible after the detonations, but the core cracked and attached to the remainder of its body by torn strips of flesh remained. Unit 01 lay on its left side momentarily stunned along with its pilot, but Samshel would require only a handful of minutes to repair even this horrific damage.
"Shinji! Knife it!" Misato's command hammered through the pain and enclosing darkness of Shinji's perceptions. Opening his eyes again, the glowing sphere lay in front of him, the prog knife slid out, and he stabbed in, his wrenched arm protesting the abuse of the motion. Samshel's detonation put the blast that had crippled it to shame, the retreating VTOLs rocked forward. The last sight of the outside world before the power ran out was of blinding pink light.

In the darkness of the entry plugs emergency lighting, Shinji heaved himself back into the seat. His unwilling passengers picked themselves up, balancing precariously on the curved sidewall of the plug.
Shinji's weakened voice broke the sudden silence. "Toji?"
"Ya?"
"I'm. . . I am sorry" He had to pause for breath, inhaling reflexively. "about not being able to see Mari today." Though Shinji could not see it, having closed his eyes in exhaustion, Toji's mortified expression was matched by the simple incomprehension of Kensuke. Hikari's mind was still trying to process the events, but her natural response kicked in.
"Stop apologizing Shinji." The anger in her tone pulled his eyes open to see her regarding him with fierce disappointment. Her expression melted into empathy. "You did your best, that's all we can do."


While the recovery and cleanup operations began, Maya took the chance to pull her mentor aside. "Sempai, you need to see this." Ritsuko was for the moment not actually busy, with the detonation, there would be little to recover anyhow, and the secondary team had already been dispatched. Ambling over to look at the display, she failed to notice Misato sigh and follow her.
"Look at this synch pattern data." The graph that came up had an interruption at its midpoint. "Because of the new equipment being in addition to the old, I got a good look at the synch ratio at the point where EUD occurred." The display's purple line representing Shinji's synch ratio had a immediate drop at the point the passengers arrived, but spiked back up to nearly as high later. "EUD occurred here, at the spike point, but more importantly, look at this." Maya hit another few keys, and the right side of the graph enlarged, suddenly having three more lines, yellow, orange, and red. "Right where Shinji's ratio drops, the internal monitors in his suit don't see this, but the newer external ones noticed these appearing." Ritsuko nearly panicked. 'No! They can't be allowed to know the reality yet.' so she covered.
"Three foreign bodies, three discrepancys, at least we know the sensors work, even if they target the wrong thing." Ritsuko mentally patted herself on the back for her quick thinking, then Mayas words drained the accomplishment from her.
"But to register on synch ratio monitors at all, you have to be a pilot candidate." Maya's honestly confused tone gave Ritsuko hope. 'I might salvage this yet, but how?' Misato's chiming in seemed a sign from the powers that be.
"So one of them could be a pilot?" Ritsuko had her out now, and executed it.
"Or they have angel contamination, you show up on the monitors yourself Misato." The mention brought up bitter memories in her friend, and Ritsuko knew it. 'But its for your own good.' Maya's expression of surprise, and glance at Misato was met with a bitter scowl and the words.
"If you must know, ask later. Now, how can we tell if it's the real thing?" Maya returned to the matter of the moment, but determined to ask later.
"You mentioned the presence of foreign bodies in the entry plug as the source of the thought noise." Ritsuko's nod and 'go on' gesture prompted her to hesitantly continue. "But to pick up on their thoughts at all means that they are synching, no matter how little. Non pilots don't synch at all." Before her mentor could speak, Misato changed fate forever.
"Then set up a full candidate test, I'm heading out to nab them anyhow." she strode off, then paused long enough to deliver one last remark. "We need pilots, even if it means putting more innocent children through this."


They were split up immediately on the plug being opened, Shinji being carted away by medical personnel, while section 2 agents corralled Toji, Kensuke, and Hikari towards a APC. Even the chance to ride in a armored vehicle did little to lighten Kensuke's mood. Toji kept staring at his right hand, wondering what might have happened if Rei had not stopped him before. Hikari tried not to take her apprehension out on Kensuke for getting them into this mess, but her thoughts soon turned to what had happened. 'Father knew that was what. . .' the thought refused to finish, and the ill feeling at the stench of the entry plug, the overwhelming smell of blood returned for a moment. All three were broken from their respective revery on getting to NERV, and being met by Ritsuko and armed guards. Recognizing her from the file photo, Kensuke's mind started to wander in dark places, making her statement to them into something sinister.
"You all need to be evaluated, some basic tests to ensure your Ok after this, but before that you have to be decontaminated."
To say the process was humiliating is an understatement, but Hikari was profoundly grateful that they at least let her change in a separate room, even if they had to go through the process together. But the first part seemed... off. 'What possible test could that little chamber preform?' what it was pumped with did not help. 'Whats the point of having us switch to these, then dumping us in that horrible stuff again?'
Toji's thoughts where much the same, save the additional distraction of seeing Hikari actually had grown into a fairly nice figure. Kensuke was paranoid of the entire thing, immediately knowing that the 'special step required after being in an Eva' was false. 'But what can I do? I'm in the belly of the beast now.' were the thoughts running through his head as the three of them were at last lead to a meeting room. Taking their seats at the central table, cued by their armed guards motion to the side, they awaited their judgment with a mirror letting them stare at themselves.

A single room away, through the one way glass, Maya and Ritsuko stared at the screen of the test results. 'At least I got warning to Gendo.' Ritsuko's thoughts had turned morbid as the inevitable results came in, because she knew exactly what the tests would show. 'This is going to mean several 'special briefings' with Gendo.' Maya's ecstatic mood would normally infect her partner as well, but now it was just annoying.
"This is incredible, first we get good data on EUD finally, and then we find three A level pilot candidates." Maya's chipper statement sparked Ritsuko's thoughts. 'Oh ya, unbelievable coincidence isn't it. Still, she's cute as a kitten.' The pause in Maya's stream of verbiage got Ritsukos attention. "Heaven sure seems to be sending mixed messages lately."


"Don't you think if we could, we would use trained soldiers?" Misato's shout left Hikari stumbling back into her seat. 'And I thought out of all of them Hikari would be the least of my problems.' Toji finally spoke, breaking the reserve he had held since Misato had come in and started taking strips out of their hides.
"Ya, why is that?" The answer to his question came from Ritsuko, who's carefully maintained presence in the background of the affair had kept Kensuke's attention flickering between her and the Captain shouting at them.
"That information is classified, it would require an order from the commander himself to tell you." Her smug tone and expression died abruptly.
"Someone must be looking out for you." Gendo's sudden appearance tended to do that, and his words coming from behind them froze the three children in place.
"Dr. Akagi, retrieve the first and third, their presence is required." as he spoke, the supreme commander of NERV strode to the head of the table, settling into place, smirking behind his gloves. While Ritsuko made good her escape, he finished his grand entrance
"Answer the question, Operations Director Katsuragi." Trying not to let him see her sweat, Misato proceeded.
"As I understand it, no one born before second impact is compatible with an Evangelion." Misato's glance at the commander for approval showed only the light glaring off his glasses. "So our pool of potential pilots is limited, the ones we have are literally the oldest available" Kensuke was so caught up in this information that he momentarily forgot the presence of Gendo, asking.
"Then why Shinji?" Misato was quite annoyed at being interrupted constantly. Naturally, before she could answer, and the arrival of Rei, Shinji and Ritsuko was simultaneous to Gendo doing so.
"There was no one else who can." Shinji immediately recoiled, his slung left arm swaying, but had no where to go but forward, taking the seat furthest from his father on the side. Ritsuko's sitting at the other end of the table from Gendo was an evident signal for him to speak.
"The three of you will now know what only two other children have known. Like them, you will die with the secret if need be." The seriousness of the statement precluded comment. "Dr. Akagi, the results were positive" A statement rather then a question, eliciting her nod. "Then I want them brought up to speed immediately." His focus shifted to the three children. "You will have 48 hours to consider. If you decline you will be required to keep silent indefinitely." Standing, the commander walked to the door. "I leave the rest in your hands Operations Director." The unspoken 'don't disappoint me' rang loud as the door closed behind him. The silent tension in the room stretched for an apparent eternity, finally pushing Toji to break it.
"Why is everyone acting like this was a pregnancy test?" The nervous laughter from Misato and Ritsuko melted the glacial tension. Finally Ritsuko got to business.
"You all know that Shinji pilots." A nod from all three came in synch. "I suspect that the fact Rei is a pilot does not surprise you." Hikari looked askance at Rei, but all nodded. "The first part of the decontamination was a test." before Kensuke could shout 'I knew it!' the implications and Ritsuko caught up with him. "You are all Tier A candidates for Evangelion pilots."
Toji was as floored as anyone. 'Pilot? One of those things?' the image of Mari flashed before him.
Kensuke's eyes widened with enthusiasm, as Misato expected, then he glanced over at Shinji and the light in Kensuke's eyes flickered. Hikari seemed lost in thought, eyes distant.


In the commanders office of NERV, Kozo's voice echoed as he shouted.
"What in gods name are you doing Gendo?" Without even shifting forward to his desk, Gendo remained leaned back in his chair and replied with uncharacteristic lightness. "God? I don't want anything with him." The uncovered smile on his student's face frankly terrified Fuyutsuki. 'The same smile as when he showed me Rei II and-' his mind automatically cut off the thought of the materials in stasis a single well hidden corridor away.
"Answer your Sensei." The iron behind that got Gendo's attention. 'It's not his fault, he just does not know how to roll with the bad draws, just like the old men.'

"Three A level pilot candidates fell into our laps today, don't you think people would ask questions if we didn't at least get them cleared?" Having set the inside straight he had drawn into on the table, Gendo listened to the sputtering with pride.

"What... you..." Fuyutsuki's mind began running over the implications.

"The data could be doctored, the rumors suppressed, the people sworn to secrecyn but why bother?" Gendo got little joy out of life anymore, but this was one of them.

"SEELE wont be able to send us a plant as a pilot candidate for a while, not with every Eva up to 05 filled already..." Kozo had to give his student credit. 'Its good to see your political jujitsu is still mastery level.'

"Precisely." Gendo had always preferred poker to chess and even Go. 'People are tools as well after all.'


Naturally, Shinji flinched when they turned on the high power lights in the exam room. What was unexpected was to suddenly see little rainbows coating the walls. It made for a striking impression on Ritsuko's white lab coat, and a less impressive effect on Maya's brown uniform. "See Sempai, it deflects Ultraviolet through Infrared." Shinji did the sensible thing, and was fighting back panic. 'What did they do to me this time?' {You know very well what you've done. Monster.} Ritsuko's calm did little to reassure him. "Right, you might as well put your school clothes back on, were going to be giving a little informative presentation." As Maya helped Shinji settle the sling again, and his hand twitched visibly, the young woman mentioned. "We don't have all the results in yet, but by tomorrow we can tell you all about this one!" The cheerful tone left Shinji wondering. 'Does she even consider how this makes me feel?'

So with all of them back in their school clothes, Shinji, Rei, Toji, Kensuke, and Hikari set down in one of the briefing theaters, Misato arriving to see Shinji sitting next to Rei. "Aww, to bad you didn't keep your sling Rei, then we would have a matching set." Misato's snark hit home, leaving Shinji glowing red, and Rei processing it. The sidebar was abruptly cut off as Ritsuko settled in with a cup of coffee, and Maya moved to the front. Maya visibly steadied herself, took a breath, and began with the Third Angel. For Shinji, hearing it presented as if someone else had done it seemed natural, he had no idea what happened while he was blacked out. He had seen the footage before, but still it felt distant. Kensuke remained oddly muted, which Misato picked up on. 'He's getting to see his beloved giant mecha in action, and he's not ecstatic. The way he keeps trying to smile or gets ready to cheer, and then something stops him. And every time he looks over at Shinji.' This being Misato's best chance to evaluate the potential backup pilots, she took the time to do so. But she paused when Maya got to the part about what happened to Shinji.
" The Angels can operate on their own because they are so adaptable, a trait the Evangelions share." The red flags this raised about what an Evangelion actually was where practically neon signs atop Kensuke and Toji's heads. "However, since the pilot synchronizes with the Evangelion on a cellular level, this trait bleeds through to the pilot." The three potential pilots all stared at Shinji, though Hikari tried to hide it. "When it's life is threatened, the Evangelion attempts to adapt to the threat, changing its structure at the genetic level. Deriving a trait based on the enemy that it is facing, it then forcibly adopts this trait." The picture of Unit 01's eye, compared to Shinji's eye, threw this back into his face again. Kensuke, likewise ignorant, quipped. "So what, the Eva's are Rockman?" Maya, oblivious to the suffering she was causing and not listening to the quip, forged on. "Because the pilot is so deeply connected, their own genetic structure is effected as well, but due to the slower cell division rate, the new trait takes time to manifest. Accordingly, this phenomenon has been named Evolution Under Duress." Having completed her presentation without slipping up, Maya heaved an internal sigh of relief and stepped down. Misato decided that now was the time to get them out of NERV and headed home.
"Alright, since you now know the size of things, take your time deciding. Talk with your families, but ultimately, this is your decision to make." While Shinji and Rei sat impassive, Toji and Hikari headed for the door, and Misato made her evaluations final. 'Toji has his reasons. Just like I have mine. If he wants a shot.' Looking over to Hikari, the young girl was following the Toji with a look of being in the balance. 'What has her father told her? Jiro is head of maintenance, he sees how ugly this gets. And what reason does she have to pilot?' Kensuke had trotted over to Maya while Misato was thinking. Kensuke's mind was at war with itself, and he had to know. "Lt. Ibuki?" Turning from recompiling her notes into a folder to the bespectacled child Maya smiled.
"You had a question?" It Kensuke a long moment to spit it out, but Maya just waited.
"Shinji's arm. . ."
"Oh, by tomorrow he should be fine. But its possible for the shock to permanently burn out the nerves." Kensuke immediately blanched, and Maya reassured him "It would take a very high synch ratio and something terrible for anything like that to have a chance of happening." While he bowed and left. Maya couldn't help wondering why the kid had asked her rather then Shinji. 'Probably just awkward, I wouldn't want to ask Director Katsuragi about her contamination directly. But come to think of it, I really want to know now!'


On the streets leading from their exit to the Geo Front the one closest to their school, Toji was proving rumors wrong. He was both reading the NERV secrecy packet and walking. Hikari walking alongside him was unremarkable the first block or so, but by the third he started to wonder. Sure she seemed absorbed in the paperwork they would both have to fill out, but he could not just let her walk the wrong way like this.
"Hikari, I haven't seen you walk this route before." His relaxed stance meant he did not see Hikari's immediate flush.
"We probably just keep different hours." 'After all, to follow you I need to get up earlier' Seemingly satisfied with her answer, Toji returned to his earlier concern. "I can't believe how much paperwork we have to sign just because of this." But the complaint had little conviction behind it. Hikari reflexively reacted to his slight shirking of responsibility as was her want.
"It's not all bad, we get clearance to know the truth." She paused, considered, and went ahead. "And if it comes to it, you might have the chance to protect Mari directly." 'And me. . .' The image of Toji in a gleaming white Eva, sword and shield brandished, standing off an Angel before her house immediately sprang to her mind. Naturally she tried to hide the bright red of her face behind the packet.

The Section 2 guards assigned to them temporarily just looked at each other, and chuckled.


At NERV HQ, inside an office used as little as possible, Operational Director Captain Katsuragi and Senior Detachment Leader (4th detachment) Harmon where engaged in proving it takes more then a Angel attack to reschedule NERV. Impressions on both sides were patchwork. Entering Misato's office had ruined the image he had built in his mind of her. 'Paperwork, unfilled paperwork, and the trash bin is empty. No coffee stains anywhere. So she clearly does not do meetings, ever.' Misato similarly was busy reevaluating her guest. 'The teacher is 'Ghost' Harmon, head of 4th detachment of Section 2? This is the man in charge of School, Pilot, and Pilot Candidate security?' But she had talked with him before, and experience spoke back. 'But he genuinely cares about Rei's living situation, and clearly he has talents you didn't see.' The low wall of paperwork between her chair and the guest chair was swiftly parted with the splat of Misato dropping a stack onto the floor. Mike spoke first, and Misato let him get his word in patiently.
"Look, I know we did not properly introduce ourselves, so I am going to state this flat out. Why didn't you know me? The paperwork of the briefing should have been sent to you on your third day here." Not expecting this, Misato was caught off guard, and while she wanted to be defensive about his not coming clean she swallowed her pride on it.
"I... I never got that deep into the paperwork." 'Besides, who reads that kind of memo anyhow?' Mike took this in stride, smoothly replying. "I always believed that paperwork multiplied when you don't look at it." Sighing and leaning back to try and get some comfort out of the cheap folding chair, Harmon moved on. "Here's the deal, I trust you." Misato immediately discounted that. 'Ya, and Kaji doesn't sleep around.' "I trust you because you genuinely care about your pilots, and around here that's as rare as that little Lime peeling trick a buddy of mine showed me." The off-handed comment got a massive, if suppressed, reaction from Misato. 'Ok, that tears it, she's definitely met my old buddy. As for being his old flame, bigger things right now.' so Mike set it aside. "We have the same security clearance, and you'll be pleased to know there is no video surveillance equipment in your apartment." 'Its not lying, I said video.' Misato took this in, and made her decision. 'This is someone I can work with.'
"Well then, since we're on the same team, how well can you handle having 3 additional pilots to protect?" Mike's reply was easy. "Not a problem, I figured that this would be coming. The change over for Hikari's protection to 4th detachment is taken care of." Misato raised an eyebrow, and Mike elaborated. "Jiro is in the class of personnel who's relations are protected, when Hikari and Nozomi got bumped up to pilot candidate and reserve publicly-" Misato immediately interrupted. "What do you mean Nozomi?" Mike stared at Misato for an entire second.'wow she gets in your face fast.' "Nozomi Horaki, younger sibling of Hikari, if Hikari is compatible with a given Evangelion, Nozomi provides a backup in case she is killed. It's in the paperwork." Mike's tone ran into disgust at the word backup, a sentiment Misato shared. "That is pretty cold, but it does make a horrible kind of sense." That brought up her next question.
"You've been in place for longer then I have here, what do you think they will do with the offer?" Mike sifted through the experience he had with the three of them. "Toji could easily be drafted by offering medical help for his sister Mari." Misato decided that there was something monstrous about Harmon. "Likewise, if we simply point out to Hikari that in a sense it is her responsibility, since she is one of the few that can pilot, she will do it. Using Nozomi being a pilot instead would be a fairly good way to retain her if she reacts badly." Misato's mind was icy. 'How can he just reel off this kind of thing about children he has known for years?' "As for Kensuke, It's a balancing act. He's a serious wannabe, but considering what happened with Shinji, it could be harder to get him on board. Retention is also an issue, given how much he thinks it would just be Gundam with bloodstains." Mike could tell that his honest evaluations had strained his relations with Misato. 'People don't like hearing the truth. Can't blame her really.' "How convenient that three more class A candidates were in class 2-A along with Shinji and Rei." Misato immediately saw what he actually meant. "Definitely, almost as if some greater power then NERV arranged it." Mike's joke was not at all funny. "Oh I would not put it past the commander-" Misato's blood chilled at that thought. "-after all, rumor has it he can raise the dead and count to infinity twice." Work done with, Mike stood up to depart. 'Oh wait! Damn I must be getting too old for this.' Turning at the door, he asked.
"Oh, could you arrange some time for me to see Akagi? I have some paperwork for her." The shared grin between them restores the balance.


Jiro was tired, but happy. Hearing what had happened to his daughter after the fact left him little time for panic. All that mattered to him was that Misato had made the right call, he didn't care that tomorrow he had the nightmare task of fixing Unit 01's damage. 'Hell I don't even care that this new EUD ruined all the armor connections, Hikari is safe.'
On the porch, Hikari was busy screwing up her courage, staring at her new NERV ID, and its Clearance level equal to her fathers. 'This is it, my chance to prove I'm father's partner and finally know what's been eating him up inside.' But the listing of occupation on the ID was also visible 'But Reserve Eva Pilot? What would mother want me to do? What would mom do if she had the chance?' With this on her mind, Hikari opened the door and announced she was home. Only Jiro's welcome greeted her in return. 'No putting it off then.' The moment Jiro saw his daughter walking in the controlled way she used to push through something hard, he become worried
"Hikari, are you going to be alright?" Clutching a NERV ID like a brand, Hikari replied
"Father, I have clearance equal to yours now." Her controlled tone broke at last, and she asked. "So now can you tell me what's wrong? Please Jiro." Struck again, and with no excuse this time Jiro had to spill it. "I was afraid they would want you to pilot." Hikari was stopped cold, but her father's dam had burst he simply could not stop. "Tokaido said it wouldn't happen, talked about how they had better candidates, pointed out that Kodama was never even synch tested. But. . ." Jiro hesitated, 'No, she doesn't need to know that.' "But Hikari-" Jiro faced her even with the tears in his eyes. "you saw what happens, saw what those monsters do to their pilots." 'She's always been the sensible one, she will know better.' Hikari stood on a precipice, and she could see no way down, so she asked. "If mom where still here, do you think she would let me pilot?" Jiro hesitated. 'I was the one that said stay, I had faith. She wanted to leave, but she was still convinced they would let us go because they didn't need them.' He gritted his teeth mentally. 'I have to lie to her! If she climbs into one of those monsters, and she dies, they'll come for Nozomi next!' Seeing her father unable to answer her, Hikari quietly asked. "If it were mom, would you have let her pilot?" The crushed cast of her stance, the utter despair in her voice, the total inadequacy in her eyes, Jiro couldn't do it to her. 'Hikari measures herself against Tokaido, she always has.' Finally he spoke. "I know your mother would have piloted. If your mother was here now, she would have let you pilot. Your mother believed in what NERV was created to do more then I do." Hikari's relief at her father's words was deeper then he could realize. 'I don't have to go against mother's wishes. I don't have to choose between my responsibility's to my family, and to humanity!' "I'm glad, because they want to employ me as a backup pilot until enough Eva's arrive." Jiro looked at the ID Hikari handed him. "Hikari, why?" Hikari, his daughter, his little girl, uttered her last words then.
"This is a responsibility. We are the only ones who can. I will not let what happened to Mari happen to Nozomi!" So Jiro said his first words to Hikari, the young woman who was his daughter. "Your mother would be proud." The next day, for the first time since she had started attending school, Hikari was tardy for class having spent the rest of the night talking with Jiro as an equal.


On the route from school to the Aida residence, the Section 2 temp detail assigned to Kensuke was confused. Kensuke had seemed distracted, not even looking at the paperwork, and they had already had to stop him from trying to cross a street while cars were traveling once. Their young charge wandered into a park, and settled onto a bench at last. Staring at the ID.

'This is my ID.' The statement seemed like one to be made in a dream even as Kensuke thought it. 'Isn't this what I've always wanted?' The dream of falling into the cockpit of a giant mecha and saving the world. He adjusted his glasses to try and focus again. 'But-' The nightmare, the memory, both blended together until Kensuke could not tell which was which. 'Its been six years. I'm over it. There was nothing I could have done.' But that was the problem, there was nothing she could have done either. Being trapped like that, not even able to focus your eyes. . . Again the moment when Shinji's arm had gone limp, lifeless in an instant as the Eva's arm was carved off played before his eyes. 'Maya told me it's temporary, Shinji will be able to use it by next week at the latest' But she had also said that it could be permanent. 'So I just wont get hit like that, or I wont get a high synch ratio.' But the thoughts rang hollow, and the whirlpool of his thoughts closed in on that single memory, and the doctors words. Kensuke hunched over, opened up his laptop, and hid his tears behind it.

His section 2 temp detail eventually reported him in his residence, but could not account for the stay in the park.


Toji arrived home as if it had been any other day, dumping the NERV information on the table. Heading to the kitchen to fix the dinner he always had, he was operating on muscle memory. The answering machine played today's iteration of his father saying he would not be home until late as usual. He glared at it for a moment. ' Yoshiyama, I respect you as my father, but your lousy at apologizing' A moment of humor glinted. 'He needs to take lessons from Shinji.' Then the message he had heard daily for the last six months played. "Toji,-" his fathers wearied voice spoke. "Kazuo's funeral is today, I cant make it. Please, take Mari even if she doesn't want to go. Its important." The details that followed where meaningless to Toji now. 'If it was so important to you, then you would have shown up to grandfathers funeral.' But this was an argument that suddenly felt tired, rather then familiar and comforting, as if someone had filled in the ruts he had worn in his mind. 'NERV. Father works in intelligence because it's the right thing to do.' Even as he set the stove to bring the water to a boil on time, Toji found himself applying fresh eyes to the pictures hanging on the walls, and the words hanging in his memory.
"Your mother was the most honorable person I have ever met." Fathers reverent tone was reserved for a very few things. "When she hunted me down, it was because that was the honorable thing to do. What your mother saw in an honor less corporate embezzler like me I don't think I'll ever understand." Unable to sit still, Toji went out to the back, where the basketball hoop he had set up with his father stood. Between throws his mind forged a new path through familiar territory "That's why I hunt them down now. It sucks up my life, but this is the only way I can administer justice the traditional way. NERV let your mother and I hunt them down and put them out of the worlds misery." Of all his school subjects, it had been history which had been easy. It's not hard to understand an ironclad code of honor when you grow up in one. Toji missed a shot, and as he tracked it down to pick it up, Mari's taunt rang in his ears. 'Try again brother!' he stopped, bent over to pick it up, and straightened instead. 'Mari.' The nightmares had come, and he had been disgusted at how grateful he was that Mari was not home to hear him wake up screaming. 'I think I actually prefer the one where I show up at school naked and Hikari kills me with chalk' Looking out into the waning sunlight, the damage to the hill was visible 'What would mother think of me piloting one of those things?' She had always been the physical one, while father had called out directions over the radio, or dug up files. 'How did mother say it?' It was tickling at his brain, and Toji headed back inside to scratch the itch of memory. The massive imprint of the chunk of barrier that had sliced through their neighbors house stood out to him. 'I can't just let this go, that could have been Hikari's house.' The image of Hikari on that creepy chair, screaming in pain as her arm went limp was all too real. He climbed to the attic 'I know it's up here.' Behind the boxes of his mothers clothes, past the guitar case he had not touched in years, it was there, on it's stand, the family treasure. 'The samurai where their lord's swords, they went before them.' His mother had said it to him when he found the ancient Wakizashi in the attic 'Your father gave this to me for our anniversary' she had said. The note it had come with was still there, and he read it again. 'Kei, you always go before me. It's been your honor, your commitment, that made this family possible. You made this have meaning again, you taught me to see that meaning. Most especially, you keep teaching our children it's meaning. Since you taught me that honor and love are thicker then blood, I thought it fitting that you have this.' It had made little sense to him at the time he first heard it. 'Father tracked the paper trail for months, from the pawnbroker to that private collector. But in the end, he got our family's blade back, not with money, but with the truth of why he wanted it back.' It had been his grandfather's favorite story to bore him and Mari with. "You told me that the lesson was that you define for yourself who you are." 'So then, who am I?' It took him a moment. "I am going to be the best there ever was, I'll keep Mari and Hikari safe. By my blade the messengers of heaven will be torn asunder." For an instant, he felt like the king of the world, then the timer rang on dinner. 'I can't believe I said that out loud, I must sound like a crazy old man.' Shaking his head, Toji headed down stairs to his dinner and some rest and relaxation.


Author Notes:
As an example of the subtlety pronoun choise and honorific can produce, he is that last major sentence again.

"I(Sessha) am going to be the best there ever was, I will keep Mari(-kun) and Hikari(-Gozen) safe. By my blade you(Unu ) messengers of heaven will be torn asunder."

Onore (An extremely insulting word for "you". )
Unu (Similar to onore, it's also either very insulting or very archaic; rarely heard.)
-Gozen (Indicates nobility; most commonly applied to women.)

Sessha ("This humble, unworthy, clumsy fool". This one is 16th Century formal courtly Japanese)
-Kun a familaral term, for siblings or close friends.

From this point forward, it is to be understood that first and last name useage means different things. In example: "Ayanami" would be the formal, correct honorific,(such as -San, -Han) while "Rei" would be a highly familiar honorific or one which mentions a personal relation. (such as -Kun, -Chan, or in a more formal context, -Senpai, -Kohai, and as used once in this chapter -Sensei) Language is the very material from which authors create, so when one is working with native speakers of another culture as charicters, this can become a problem. However, the unique opportunity offered by a Freudian slip on Shinji's part was just to good to pass up. Similarly, Toji's odd use of a honorific that basically translates as 'Noblewoman' is meant to serve as a hint to his charicter and view of the world.

As an added bonius, I have found the perfict OP music to this series. Unbreakable Chain by Dream Evil.

Episode Teaser:
The world has changed, the wheels of fate are turning, but questions and hard decisions remain. Look forward to our complex next two episodes, 'Normal?' And 'Higher Learning'.

I hope these ~15,000 words prove that this is something worth waiting for, finally, a shout out to my two prereaders for their great work. Crazael, and Dragonseige both helped get this on track.