Chapter 7. Cilla P.O.V

The past few days Kili has been trying to talk to me, but I avoid him in any way possible. He just doesn't understand.

The fact that I was his strength was only half of my reason for this. I've seen the movies back home, all 3 of them. I know that he will choose Tauriel in the end. After all, she's a stupid red head (no offense to red heads out there. If you have read Maximum Ride you would understand. Although, I did like Charlie in supernatural. She was awesome.) with stupid green eyes. And she's seriously gorgeous and bad-ass. I can I compete with that? (I will let all of you know that Cilla will do better at keeping Kili safe than she ever will.)

I just don't want Kili to break my heart so he can go after her. The girls no my reasons and can't blame me. That almost stopped Molly and Blackie from going after Nili and Fili, but I wouldn't let that happen.

I was broken out of my musings by Blackie.

"Come on, me, you, Molly and Emily are going to talk about the 3rd movie." I nodded.

We talked as soon as we were in our circle, far away from the Company, but close enough to see all 15 of them and vice versa.

Emily spoke first. "What the heck are we going to do? We can't let Thorin, Fili, Kili and quit possibly Nili die in the BOTFA. Something nees to be done!"

Molly spoke next. "Exactly, but how."

We all thought but I already had an idea.

I spoke. "I have an idea." they looked at me and I glanced at them hesitantly. "I will risk my life and make sure they won't die." their eyes widened as they realized what I was saying.

Blackie spoke. "You are not leaving us to hunt down Azog and Bolg so you can kill them. You would never survive."

"Do you have a better idea?" I asked with anger. "I'm the one with the least ties out of all of us." they all protested.

Molly spoke loudly, "What about Kili?" I glanced at her in disbelief.

"You mean the one who is meant for Tauriel? You know he'll leave me for her if I accept him. Besides, who was the one never adopted at the orphanages? The one no one wanted? Who's the best fighter out of all of us? Huh? I mean come on guys." I snorted, not noticing that the company was behind me with shock on their faces. "I guarantee you the company would rather have Blackie on the entire journey, than me for a day. Everybody has always preferred my beloved twin over me, not that I can blame them, I would too." I gave her a weak smile.

"Just face the facts alright? The only one's that would ever want me is you guys, the ones who decided to leave their adoption homes just so I wouldn't be alone for the rest of my life. It's time I stop walking in your shadows and face who I am, and try to change who I am, and you've got to let me go for me to do that." I turned around and faced the company with shock on my face when I saw them.

Their faces went from anger to astonishment to disbelief to sadness to pain to helplessness. The worst was Kili. I couldn't keep looking at him and turned to Baby, ready to get going.

Next thing I know I being yanked by my arm into another pair. When I looked up I saw Kili's pained/desperate face. He buried his face in my neck/hair and I got confused.

"Please." He whispered. "Please don't leave me again. I won't be able to handle it."

I looked at him in shock. He was being completely honest.

"I don't care what you say, I will never leave you for this Tauriel person." I looked at him in confusion.

"Dwarves can hear up to 50ft."

I stared at him, searching his face. From looking into his eyes I could tell that if I left, it would destroy him, and I don't think I have the heart to do that.

"Fine, I'll stay." every one burst out in cheers.