Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. I only play with these characters that he designed.
Uhmmm...hi? Err, I came back from the land of the dead?
Sorry for almost a month of disappearance. I suffered from the infamous writer's block, which was a horrible experience that I don't want to relive T.T I'm starting to write once again and I hope that it was cured. Enjoy! ^^
+Mommy Hunt 07+
[ - ]
He was kissing another man.
That was the single thought circling his hysteric mind right now. He didn't even hear Itachi's declaration that might have sounded far-fetched and troublesome for his already troubled life. He was too concentrated on why he was currently lip-locked with his sworn eternal rival, the bastard of this planet. There always had to be something wrong with his life; from his superhuman aunt to his choice of a five-year old to befriend. Every single day that he ate, slept and breathe, there was something bound to go out of control, running merrily out of his safety zone and jumping on the open arms of trouble. A trouble named Uchiha.
Naruto quickly pushed the other man away, rubbing his lips roughly against the back of his hand. Sasuke was just as in shock as him because the other man's eyes so wide that he lost his cool demeanor. The blonde would've been proud that he made that coolness slip off the Uchiha's face but considering the circumstances that they were in, he couldn't brag about this 'achievement' since it involved his own humiliation.
He muttered several curses under his breath while still moving his hand over his lips, avoiding meeting the other's face.
How he hated this place, day and time. He was sure that Fate was conspiring against him, making his life as miserable as possible for her own amusement.
"Still clumsy as ever, aren't you dobe?"
Naruto looked up and saw that haughty smirk that the raven-haired man now wore. Sasuke quickly recovered his composure but the other knew that he was still embarrassed over what happened. Damn that ability of his to show that he was not affected.
He was about to offer a sharp reply but stopped when he noticed how much commotion they had caused with all the stares that were directed at him. Most of them were a mix of admiration and jealousy from how they looked as a perfect 'family', others were questioning and the rest were stares of simple curiosity. They didn't mean any harm at all but he still felt that unsettled feeling of vulnerability every time eyes were fixed on him. He felt guilty, small and exposed. He didn't like them staring as if he was a freak show in a circus.
It reminded him of those blaming looks that the people at the funeral of his mother gave him.
He felt his air being pulled out of his lungs, felt like he was going to suffocate. He reeled around, aiming to get out of this place and far away from these people. But he was rooted on the spot when he saw his father's henchmen walking toward them, their eyes locked on him, Naruto in the dress.
There was no way that they'll recognize them in his outfit right? He started to panic, looking frantically left and right for an escape route. He had almost forgotten that the two were experts on disguise, no matter how well it was presented. His record of always winning in the 'Naruto-hunt' was broken when those two caught him using the disguise of an elderly couple suffering from arthritis. He was running away from them as usual when he stopped by the sidewalk to help an old woman bent over, rubbing her knees and complaining about old age and rheumatism. Her husband slumped in a corner, suffering from the same cruel fate.
The helpful teenager that he was, he approached them and offered to bring them to the nearest clinic or to accompany them home. He should've guessed that no old people gripped as tightly as the granny did that time. He tried to be more careful with dealing with strangers-in-disguise but his kindness always made him forget about that every time he saw someone who needed help.
As the men started to get nearer, his panicking started to get worse. Despite claiming on how he hates his life, he still had dreams to achieve; dreams that mainly revolve around tasting and eating all the ramen that the world has to offer him. And he didn't want to be caught in a dress, dragged in a dress and killed in a dress. He would gladly go to heaven that was filled with ramen, and a bit of girls, but Tsunade's fist didn't offer such privileges. It was either broken bones, busted blood vessels, shredded organs or bruises and those were not friendly choices for his body, wallet and his now beloved life.
Sasuke had a questioning expression on his face, wondering why the blonde looked distressed. Naruto met Itachi's eyes and the boy simply pointed at his father discreetly, and then put his small forefinger on his lips.
The child didn't just suggest that…he kissed Sasuke again, did he? There was no way, no way in hell—okay, he was not going to think about this anymore. No, he won't think about that anymore. He'll contemplate on the consequences of his actions later, much later when he's not panicking and had a clear mind of what he would do. He needed to survive this day of MIB goons, snarky five –year olds and the horror of being a she-man. And hopefully, he'll emerge safe, with his pigtails and all.
Desperate times call for desperate measures, and apparently kissing his rival. He'll just blame everything to Sasuke later.
He threw caution out in the air, walking towards Sasuke. He looped his arms around the taller man's neck and closing his eyes, he made their lips met.
And with his mind blank, he didn't even notice the small boy's triumphant smirk.
[ - ]
Izumo saw when the 'woman' pushed the other man away. He saw the taller man said something with a smirk that made the lady turn around with her feet stomping on the ground. She suddenly froze on her place, the color draining from her face and her blue eyes filled up with different emotions, anxiousness the most perceivable of them. She just stood like that for minutes before her gaze landed on them and started to panic. Naruto was never one to hide his emotions up his sleeves –he places them on a billboard by the main highway for the rest of humanity to see. What a waste for his perfect cover-up.
Whoever decked the younger man in that outfit was terribly smart for choosing that style of dress and applying a make-up that were really flattering. The blonde turned out to be a beautiful woman. Well, almost a beautiful woman because beneath that layers of clothes and colors, a 'woman' with flat chest and balls with dick.
He was looking forward to spending the rest of the weekend out of the hospital without casts and bandages on his body and far away from the scary nurse who carried an inhumane size of syringe that she uses to put uncooperative patients to sleep. Maybe with that free time, he could do things like be in a dinner with a beautiful woman and perhaps he was lucky, he could spend more time with her in a more private setting.
With the interesting course that his mind was taking, he forgot the small detail about Naruto that had a companion. A little five-year old that was too smart, too mature and too cunning for the good of the health of others around him and perhaps, for the rest of the world.
Before he and the other three could get nearer, a small form blocked their way.
"We're a little busy right now," Izumo snapped irately. But he swallowed his next words when teary black eyes looked up at him.
"Could you help me find my mommy?"
[ - ]
Tears were probably the most effective weapon that a child could have. Its effects were much more successful than death threats and harassment.
Adults never suspect that children were capable of complicated things such as manipulating the people surrounding them to suit their own desires. It was the advantage of being a child.
Children were expected to be children after all.
"P-please, I j-just want to see my m-mom. I've been walking a-around the p-place but I c-couldn't find her…and…and", the young Uchiha furthered his acting, making fake tears fall from his eyes. He sniffled a few times while internally hoping that he had enough time to distract the men from pursuing Naruto. It wouldn't be that hard, if judging by the genuinely worried look on the spiky-haired man's face. He knew lying was a bad thing and his conscience was nagging him to stop doing this and just let the men do their jobs. But it would even be worse for him if his plans, mainly revolving around Naruto, would be foiled.
"You alright? When and where did you last see your mother?" Izumo bent down and laid his hand against the child's shoulder.
"At t-the gadget's s-section. I sneaked out on her to g-get to the elevator…I just want to see my mommy!" He cried more. He wanted to cringe at how whiny and childish he sounded but he needed to do what he could. He didn't necessarily act like a five-year old for the most of the time so he felt a little better at the thought.
"Stop crying now, okay? I'll help you—"
"Izumo, we don't have time for that. We're in the middle of a very important assignment," a steely voice interrupted. The man with the straight brown hair eyed the small boy with a frown.
"We need to help him! You don't know how it is to get lost in an unfamiliar place," Izumo argued. He remembered his own of getting lost in a forest when he and his father went camping. He was found by another camper three days later, unconscious. That's why he felt sensitive with cases like this.
"Others could help him; our lives would surely be at stake if we didn't bring Naruto with us."
"You don't know how it feels to be alone. This boy needs our help and you'll just turn your back on him?"
"Look," Kotetsu released a sigh of frustration with his friend's dramatic side. He understood where the other was coming from but they couldn't afford to waste their preciously ticking time. Drama would be much fitting when they would be both lying in their graves, courtesy of Tsunade.
"Finding and catching Naruto comes first."
"How could you even be sure that that woman is Naruto?"
"Are you questioning me?"
"Yes."
And the two broke out in a manly staring contest. The rule of this challenge was simple; the first man to blink loses the argument. It was an easy way of settling disputes that they learned in their military days. This didn't require bloodshed and yet, they still remain manly. Or they think so.
Itachi watched the two men with little interest. He let them continue being fools. Without giving out his guise of being a helpless boy, he tilted his head a bit to see what his father and Naruto were doing. The boy was surprised to see them still kissing, or at least Naruto still kissing Sasuke, with Naruto's hands now grabbing the sleeves of Sasuke's shirt harshly. The raven-haired man was obviously frozen in shock.
His father would surely get angry if he discovered that these events were the doing of his son. But the boy was doing him a big favor by choosing his own 'mother' rather than making his father do all the work. Naruto was a man and for reasons still unclear to Itachi, hated his father so Sasuke won't have to worry about women who just wanted him for what he could give, not for what he really is.
And what he wanted, he made sure that he got it. Naruto will become his mother even though it required a lot of work. But the fruits of his labor would surely be much, much sweeter. He just had to let his father see the situation in Itachi's perspective and everything would be fine.
Oh, and he still had to inform and convince Naruto of his little wish. But that would be coming a little bit later. He still needed to deal with the blonde's pursuers so his obstacles would be lessened.
As the saying goes, he's going to take one humungous step at a time.
[ - ]
Sasuke couldn't feel anything but shock. It overrode the emotions that he should be feeling right now while kissing Naruto.
The first one had been an accident, which he was sure because he knew the blonde's clumsiness would take over during the most unfortunate of times –like now. He offered an insulting remark to at least get rid of his own embarrassment and to put the blame to Naruto. Uchihas don't face situations that would put them to shame head on; they face it with insults and smirks.
But once again, Naruto's penchant for surprising him didn't cease. For the second time, they were both sharing another unwanted kiss. Should he be thankful that this was Naruto the man that he was kissing and not another one of his fan girls? Or should he be disgusted with the fact that this was Naruto and this was a man that he was kissing? His mind was too numb to process anything.
The only thing that's keeping him from having a heart attack was his Uchiha training of dealing with the expected unexpected. If he was a lesser man, he would be probably lying on the floor with his mouth foaming at the shock level that he was exposed too.
The tight grip on his sleeves loosened up, Naruto finally removing his lips. The blonde was eerily quiet for the raven-haired man's comfort and it was disconcerting.
"I didn't know that you liked me in that way, Naruto." He said. He's positive that Naruto would react. And react he did.
"What? How in the world could I ever like a bastard? Are you out of your mind?"
"Says the man in the right mind to wear a dress."
"Oh, I ought to hit that pretty-boy face of yours…" the blonde hissed with barely contained dislike.
"I also didn't know that you find me attractive. Really, Naruto I should've realized that a long time ago." Sasuke smirked, enjoying his advantage.
"Shu up. Do you think I enjoy dressing up in drags? This was the only way to escape those hooligans, as your son had suggested. And then those guys just had to go at me directly and I just had…to…kiss…you again…" Naruto's voice faded with each word, the truth now slapping him with a pan left and right.
"Apparently, you just did that."
"I kissed you…"
"Yes."
"I freaking kissed you!"
Sasuke frowned at the horrified look on the other man's face, the color of it draining away. Now that the shock subsided, he only treated that incident as an accident. Why did Naruto have to look like as if he had just kissed a very disgusting beast and not an utterly handsome prince?
"Stop that!" The lawyer's irritation was doubled when the blonde held his neck and gagged. "If I remembered correctly, you came to me willingly during the second time."
Naruto didn't and couldn't deny that fact. He did kiss him intentionally but it was for the purpose of saving himself and not because he liked Sasuke. But how could he tell the raven-haired man that?
If confronted with a situation that you knew that's really out of your hands, what would you do?
He turned his back to Sasuke and did what he was best at –running.
[ - ]
"Senpai, the target is running away!"
The staring was broken and the men quickly sprung into action. Itachi turned around and true enough, Naruto was running once again. There was really no way to keep that guy still in once place. He let out a small sigh and proceeded to follow them, running and ignoring the people around him. It took him a while before he tracked them down; the blonde's back facing him with the men carefully advancing towards him.
"Mommy!" The boy shouted, dashing towards where Naruto was. Before the other could react, he latched himself on his waist and buried his face in the dress.
"Don't talk. Just let me handle them," Itachi whispered as he looked up at the confused man. Naruto nodded and sealed his lips tightly, afraid to mess this only chance to escape. The boy started to sniff and tears once started to flow out of his eyes. He smiled gratefully at the incoming men.
"Thanks for finding my mom. You're all great and I haven't even told you what she looks like."
"I'm glad you found your mom, kid." Izumo said, completely forgetting about why he was chasing the woman.
"She's your mother? But you don't resemble her in any way. " Kotestu said. There was something really suspicious about this. "Surely, you wouldn't mind showing some identifications, Miss –?"
Smart guy.
"Genes don't really work that way, mister. And my mom is mute," Itachi answered. It was hard lying with a suspicious man.
"Oh, I know sign language!" To the boy's horror, the man with the bandage on his nose started to make hand signs that Itachi didn't understood because he didn't know anyone who was deaf and mute. They'll be caught and his dreams were over…he'll never have his mother and –was Naruto hand signing?
He watched fascinated as the men communicated through their hands. It amazed him that the blonde knew how to do that and wondered how many things were the man capable of. As he gets to discover something more about Naruto, the more he wanted to learn more.
Yes, he wanted to learn more about the man that'll be his 'mother'.
The conversation ended with Naruto blowing a flying kiss and bowing to the other man. Izumo smiled and told his companions what the two talked about.
"Her name's Sakura and she said that she was thankful that fine men helped her child. You see, a pervert groped her and she threw her handbag at him and then when she turned around, her son disappeared. She apologizes for all the trouble."
Kotetsu, who knew nothing about sign languages just nodded and grudgingly apologized for his earlier behavior. He commanded the other men to resume looking. Itachi and Naruto waited for them to get away before speaking. The boy wasn't able to hide his snickering form the blonde.
"What? Did you have any brilliant ideas aside from dresses and mothers?"
"I didn't. I believe you pulled this one smoothly. But the pervert part is a bit…" Itachi let a small laugh escape before continuing. "Where did you learn to sign language?"
"I was a volunteer at a hospital and was assigned at the pediatric ward with mainly deaf and mute children were confined. I needed to talk to them so I had to learn the way they speak." The blonde shrugged his shoulders. "You were quite the little actor, weren't you?"
"If you call the ability to fool those MIB with fake tears and sob stories acting, then yes, I was quite the incredibly talented and Oscar-worthy child actor."
"And you really are that bastard's son." Naruto rolled his eyeballs and started removing the hairpins that were keeping his wig in place.
"You dislike my dad, don't you? Why?" Itachi asked, his curiosity taking over.
"Well, it dates back to the years when we were both children. He acted a bastard and I acted self-righteously. It's just bad blood, I guess." The man yanked the wig, yelping in pain. "But you're mother and I was good friends!"
The smile on Naruto's face was bright, his dampened mood lightening at the mention of Itachi's mother. She must have been a wonderful woman, if his reactions were to judge. But he didn't have any memories of the woman who birthed him.
"I don't remember her. Dad divorced her when I was two years old and took care of me alone."
And silence ensued. Itachi didn't want to talk about someone who was never a part of his life, someone who was a perfect stranger.
"I could probably tell you things about her. At least when we meet again, we'll have something to talk about. My mother died when I was young so I know how hard it was to grow up without one." Naruto offered him a little smile. Itachi simply nodded.
He wanted to tell Naruto that he was not interested in learning about a woman who didn't even made efforts to at least introduce herself to her own child. He wanted to learn more about Naruto rather than discover things about his biological mother.
The past didn't matter when the present was offering you as better thing. In his mind, there was no one else suited to fulfill the vacancy other than Naruto himself.
"You're father's probably worried now. You need to get back."
Itachi almost forget about his father. He was going to be doing a lot of explaining when they get home –or now. Because when he turned around, he saw Sasuke standing in front of him.
"Itachi, care to explain a few things?"
[ t b c… ]
I forgot to mention last chapter: Kushina's cause of death would play a big part on the plot. Once again, I apologize for the lateness. School's now started in my country though I don't know how that would affect my updating pattern. (Or if it would be affected at all. Exams and projects surely would)
Ah, so reviews for the not-so-dead author? *grins*
