Chapter 5
Russia
Moscow
The Next Day (In case you hadn't figured that out from the end of Chapter 4)
09:31:31
008 woke up to smell pancakes and eggs cooking below. When he got downstairs, he found that he was the last one up, save Jenni. Mike was slaving over the oven getting breakfast ready, and Brittney was helping him.
"What's up?" 008 asked.
"Well, you, finally, and not Jenni. I just thought that after yesterday's excitement, we needed a nice big breakfast," Mike replied.
"Oh. Well, that's nice. Where'd the ovens and stuff come from?" 008 inquired, remembering that the day before, the entire room had been dominated by a bed.
"Oh, we found that little radio of yours and keyed Matteo up. We said we needed supplies and equipment to make breakfast with, and he brought these up and hooked us into the gas lines. Oh, yeah, he also took the bed and said he would incinerate the abomination. He had the most peculiar man with him. He was tall and talked about politics in America like no other. Said his name was Phil something-or-other. Anyways, they took the bed back with them with the intention of burning it," said Brittney, "Oh, here's your little radio."
"Thanks. Well, on to breakfast, then."
"WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BED?!! And what did you bring in?" came Jenni's voice from the doorway.
"We just explained that to 008, we don't want to explain it again," Bond said.
"Well?" Jenni asked, wanting an answer.
"Well, we needed to fix breakfast somehow, and I just got up, so I don't know how they did it so fast, but your bed has been incinerated by now and they brought in some ovens and started to fix breakfast. Smells good, doesn't it?" 008 summarized.
"I want my bed back."
"I'm afraid that's impossible if it's been incinerated. Would you settle for a different one when we get done?"
"NO! I want my old one back! It holds dear memories for me."
"So did my first car, but nothing I say is going to get it back for me, and you don't see me whining," commented Bond.
"What was your first car?" 008 asked.
"An Aston Martin, I think."
"What do you mean, 'I think'?"
"When I first got it, all the logos of whatever carmaker it was had been torn off in some accident or another. Same with the model, and the serial number had fallen off some years before I got it. For all I know, it could have been a Ferrari and I wouldn't have known the difference."
"Oh. Do you have pictures?"
"Yes, but so many body panels had been replaced that it wasn't the original shape anymore. Headlights and taillights, too. Not one was the same. It was a pain replacing them when they burned out."
"My first car was a Ford Pinto," Mike said.
Everyone stared at Mike for a few minutes and then got back to work.
Later, after everyone was well fed, thanks to Mike's wonderful cooking, they started to discuss plans for what to do about the Quantum base they had discovered. After a while, it was decided to just know where it was and then get on with the mission.
"So that leaves the question of where we're going first. After all, the money went to America and Austria, as well as some going back to Japan," Brittney concluded.
"And Italy. Don't forget Italy," Mike reminded her.
"Well, we've already been to Italy once, and we're pretty sure of who the contact is there," Bond stated.
"Let's go to Austria, then," 008 said.
"It's settled, then. We'll go to Austria, then the United States," Bond declared.
"When did we decide to go to the United States second?" Jenni asked.
"Because it is the only other place we haven't been to."
"Oh. I hadn't thought about that."
"Of course you wouldn't, baishunfu, all you think about is sex," Brittney said before slapping her.
"Why do you keep slapping me?"
"Because you're a baishunfu, baishunfu."
"008, what does baishunfu mean?" Bond asked quietly.
"It means whore. I think I'll teach her the Italian, too. It's quite entertaining."
Austria
Vienna
15:32:48
Will looked up at the sky and thought that it was just another day, with nothing new happening. That's when the phone rang.
He walked over to the phone and picked it up, saying, "Ja, Herr Mahoney… oh… ja. Das ist gut. Ja. Ja*."
He walked downstairs and got ready to invite in some guests. He loved visits, but this visit he was not going to like. After all, it's hard to like an agent barely out of secondary school who's already in a position higher than your own. After all, he didn't like the prospect of taking orders from a kid like 008.
"Herr Mahoney, wo bist du*?" came the voice of a woman.
"Mir ist im das Forum, meine Liebhaberin*."
Heidi, a dauntingly beautiful woman entered the room, kissed him, and said in heavily accented English, "What is wrong, my lover?"
"008 is coming, that's what's wrong. Please, prepare some food for when he arrives."
"Of course."
The thing he liked most about her was that she didn't ask unnecessary questions. She kept his work separated from their relationship. Having been a Navy Seal before joining the British Secret Service, he knew all about combat, and was assigned the number 014 when he joined thanks to his formidable skills. The only reason he was able to do both was because he was born in America while his parents were on vacation. Being a dual citizen by birth was a great advantage.
About half an hour later, a knock came at the door.
"Ja?"
"Wie gehts, Herr Mahoney*?" came Bond's voice from the doorway.
"Ja," Will said while getting up to answer the door, "Or at least, now I am. 008 didn't tell me that you were on this assignment too."
"As well as a few others. I hope you don't mind our intruding for a little while."
"Not really. Who else do you have?"
"Well, there's me," 008 said, entering. Will scowled at 008. "What, still sour? I told you, I've tried appealing to M's heart, but he won't put you in with the rest of the double-oh's for about six months longer at least. Well, we also have Kita Chōsen, of the CIA, who prefers to be called Mike, White Knight, who we call Brittney –"
"Against my will," interjected Brittney.
"–and Athanasia, a freelance Russian agent whose name is Jenni."
"Yes, well that's three more people than I expected to see here. We'll have to prepare more rooms, then. Heidi, please get three rooms ready for our guests," Will said. "So, what's the deal with all the people?"
"Well, it started out with just James and I, and we were going to just meet different contact agents in whatever countries we went to, but then Brittney tricked us into having her come with us. When we arrived in Italy, Felix Leiter was going to send her home, but she guilt-tripped him into letting her go on with us, and we've been picking up agents ever since, because Leiter said any American agent that helps us is to accompany us until the end of the mission."
"That doesn't explain her," Will said, pointing at Jenni.
"Jenni is a freelance Russian agent that we needed for help, and we were going to ditch her while still in Russia, but we need to work out a better payment plan first."
"What do you mean?"
"The Hure* here wants to have sex with 008 as her 'payment'," Brittney said bluntly.
"Ah. That is a very interesting form of payment, isn't it?"
"Yes. Very," 008 said.
"Well, what do you need me for?"
"We need your help infiltrating Quantum."
Austria
Vienna
18:49:37
After having dinner, they pored over a map of Vienna to find the Quantum money cache, or at least get an idea of where it was. The problem was that it was in a bank, and they couldn't touch it if they tried.
"There's only one way to solve this. We'll have to break into the bank," Brittney finally concluded.
"No, Dummkopf*, that will alert Quantum to our activities," Will said in return.
"Brittney, I think it would be best if you stayed quiet for this stage of the planning, or else you will end up becoming a terrorist," Jenni said.
"Better terrorist than extortionist," Brittney countered.
"Ladies, please, would both of you shut up and get back to the planning?" Bond asked, exasperated, as Jenni was about to counter the last statement.
"We need to find out where their base of operations here in Vienna is, not where they keep their money. There should be small amounts of that money that their members here in Vienna keep on them. Therefore, we should look in to those places first," 008 said.
"Let me pull that up on the scanner," said Mike.
While he did that, Will pulled out a transparent plastic sheet with coordinate markings on it. He then marked in red where they were when Mike listed the places they were at. Coupled with this and the latest satellite images of Vienna, they were able to find out where the Quantum members lived.
"You know, it's a good thing there are only two members of Quantum in Vienna, or else this would be really hard," Mike commented when they were done.
"Don't relax yet, Mike. Those two houses are the most well guarded houses in all of Austria," Will said.
Ja, Herr Mahoney… oh… ja. Das ist gut. Ja. Ja: Yes, Mr. Mahoney… oh… yes. That's good. Yes. Yes.
Herr Mahoney, wo bist du: Mr. Mahoney, where are you?
Mir ist im das Forum, meine Liebhaberin: I am in the forum, my lover.
Wie gehts, Herr Mahoney: Mr. Mahoney, how are you? (lit. you are well?)
Hure: Whore
Dummkopf: Idiot (lit. dumb head)
