AN: Thanks for the reviews, here is the next chapter.

Ok so a little warning here, not all Sundays I wrote were going to be pleasant and happy, and this chapter is one of them, I'll admit this was a little hard to write, but unfortunately it was part of their history and I wanted to keep it close to cannon as I could without skipping so much time just for the good parts, hope you still read it.


Chapter 7: Reliving the Past Part 6

November 18, 2007

Just months ago they were living together and happier than ever, then Sara got kidnapped and almost died, changing everything, especially the plans they had, in the process.

For one, the plan they had on telling the team took a very unexpected turn, because of instead of doing it together while they were hosting a gathering at their new place, he blurted it out in a roundabout way while she was missing, and two, she had convinced him that she should make the change to swing shift.

Since she had been released from the hospital he could sense that something was going on with her, she just didn't seem the same, and hoping it would help her, he even proposed last month, knowing now more than ever that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, which it had seemed to brighten her spirits a little for a few weeks.

But she just couldn't seem to shake what she had gone through, and now with him sitting alone in his office at the lab, rereading the latter she had left for him before leaving town three days ago, he wished there had been something more he could have done for her.

"Gil, You know I love you. I feel I've loved you forever. Lately, I haven't been feeling very well. Truth be told, I'm tired. Out in the desert, under that car that night, I realized something, and I haven't been able to shake it. Since my father died, I've spent almost my entire life with ghosts. We've been like close friends, and out there in the desert, it occurred to me that it was time for me to bury them. I can't do that here. I'm so sorry. No matter how hard I try to fight it off, I'm left with the feeling that I have to go. I have no idea where I'm going, but I know I have to do this. If I don't, I'm afraid I'll self destruct, and worse, you'll be there to see it happen. Be safe. Know that I tried very hard to stay. Know that you're my one and only. I will miss you with every beat of my heart. Our life together was the only home I've ever really had. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I love you. I always will. Good bye."

He sets the letter down on his desk, took his glasses off and sets them on top of the letter and closed his eyes before running his hand down his tired face, feeling completely broken, more broken than he's ever felt in his life.

From the moment he finished reading the letter the first time, he tried getting a hold of her but all he got was her voice mail, and a lot of those times he called was just for that reason, so he could hear her voice.

A few seconds later his phone rang, so he tried shaking off what he was feeling so he could get in work mode before picking it up without looking at the caller ID. "Grissom."

There was a slight pause before he heard a voice he wasn't expecting, but had been wishing for. "Gil?"

There was no hesitation in his voice as he sat up in his office chair a little straighter. "Sara!"

Anymore words he was going to say was cut off when she continued while sniffling. "I'm so sorry for leaving like I did. I know I got upset at you for leaving without talking about your troubles, then I go and do the same thing, you must hate me right now."

Grissom closed his eyes as he heard her crying, wishing he could wrap his arms around her for the comfort he knew she needed, and he started so speak. "Sara, it's ok."

Crying out. "No! I don't deserve..."

Grissom cuts her off. "Honey, you deserve the whole world, and I could never hate you, I love you, and this doesn't change that. Now take some deep breaths...nice and easy...there you go."

When she had calmed down with the help of his soothing voice, she sniffled. "But how? I know I hurt you when I left."

He wiped a tear away and cleared his throat. "Did you ever stop loving me when I unintentionally hurt you?"

"Never."

"Then that's how. I'll keep telling you I love you and mean it until the day I..."

Sara cuts him with a slight smile, the first one she had in three days. "Will you tell me again?"

Grissom had a slight smile on his face, the first one he also had in three days. "I love you."

Sniffling again with a sigh, she spoke softly. "I love you too. You have to know me leaving had nothing to do with you, us."

"I know, honey."

"I would have taken you with me if I could."

Before she could continue, he perked up a little and spoke without thinking, even though that was exactly how he was feeling. "You can take me, just tell me where you are and I'll be there, we can go anywhere you want."

"No, I can't."

"Why?"

"Despite what you think, the team still needs you."

He frowned as his heart started racing. "What about you?"

"I'll always need you, Griss. But this is something I need to do alone."

He didn't like that she felt she had to be alone to do whatever she needed to do, but the risk of never hearing her voice if she felt like he was pushing her was too much to take, so he replied after a short sigh. "Alight, I respect your decision. But promise me something."

"What?"

"That anytime you want to talk to me, or just to hear my voice, then you call. I don't care what time of the day it is, or where you're calling from, just know that I'm here for you, no matter what." He sniffled as he finished. "Ok?"

"Ok, I promise." There was a slight pause before she spoke. "I have to go."

"Alright, I love you, honey."

"I love you too, be safe out there, ok?"

"Always, and you too."

"I'll call soon, bye Grissom."

"Good luck, Sara."

They hung up a few seconds later while he sighed again.

It wasn't the ideal situation, but he was happy he could at least hear her voice from time to time, and maybe in the future he could possible meet her somewhere so they could spend time together, then hopefully in time they'll get to finally share the life they've always wanted.


**I Credit the episode: Goodbye & Good luck for Sara's letter to Grissom.**

AN: Hope it was ok. A few more Sunday's left. Please review.